Before the day was half over, there was a car in our driveway and a highway patrolman standing on our porch. I had the biggest urge to run, but you can’t outrun the law. So I decided to try out-talking him.
I spoke to him through the screen door. “Can I help you?”
He tipped his officer’s cap. “Good day,” he said. He pulled out his badge and told me his name, which I forgot as quick as I heard it. “I’m looking for Mr. or Mrs. Leroy Honeycutt.”
I took a deep breath. “My daddy’s not here right now, and my momma can’t come to the door. Can I help you?”
And then I heard my momma saying it. “May I help you?”
Why couldn’t she just stay in the back room and let me handle this? Now the patrolman could plainly see her black eye.
He didn’t say a word about her eye. He just told her he was following up on a report that Ann Fay Honeycutt had left the Georgia Warm Springs Foundation without authorization. He wanted to know if she had returned home safe and sound.
Momma put her arm around my shoulder then. “This is Ann Fay. She’s just fine, thank you.”
The officer looked at me. “Young lady, what made you do such a thing?”
“My momma needed me,” I said. How I was going to explain that? “See?” I pointed to her tummy. “She’s going to have a baby. And my twin sisters are a handful.”
He nodded. But he wasn’t looking at her tummy. He was looking at her bruised eye. “And you couldn’t have waited for a proper discharge?”
“No,” I said. “Junior came after me on a Sunday. He had to work today.”
He looked at his paper. “That would be Junior Bledsoe? Can you tell me where he works?”
Now I’d done it! Why did I have to mention Junior?
Momma spoke up. “Sir, it’s all right. Please don’t give him any trouble. He was just being a good neighbor. We’re all happy to have our daughter home.”
The officer nodded. He stood there for a moment and finally he said, “May I come in?”
Momma stepped back, so I did too. She offered him a seat, but he didn’t take it. He looked around the living room and I saw how his eyes went searching on past the door, into the kitchen. I could tell he was sizing us up. Trying to see if anything looked suspicious. But just like always, my momma had the house as neat and clean as his starched uniform.
“Ma’am, may I ask if you’re all right? I see you’ve got a bruise there.”
Momma laughed nervously. “Yes,” she said. “I had an accident in the middle of the night.”
The officer nodded. “Shall I report that you’re content with your daughter’s sudden departure from the Georgia Warm Springs Foundation?”
“Please do,” said Momma. She opened the screen door and went on through to the porch.
There wasn’t a thing for that officer to do but follow. He gave her a nod and put his cap back on. “You would call on help if you needed it, right?”
“Of course,” said Momma. “Of course we would. We’ve got good neighbors. Thank you for looking in on us.”
As the patrolman drove away, she said to me, “We don’t need to mention this to your daddy. You understand?”
“I understand,” I said.
When Daddy came home from work that night he took his lunchbox into the kitchen and set it on the table. Then he washed up and sat down to eat with the rest of us. Ida and Ellie jabbered about this and that and asked me questions about Warm Springs.
I picked up my glass. It was a jelly jar and there was a chip on the edge. I took a drink of water and acted like I didn’t hear their questions. But of course they didn’t give up so easy. So I gave in.
“We ate dinner on white tablecloths,” I said. “And we used china. And there were real waiters in white coats and black bow ties. I never did get over feeling like I was eating at a fine restaurant.”
“I never ate at a fine restaurant,” said Ellie.
“Well, don’t feel bad,” I said. “Neither have I. So I don’t really know if it’s like eating at Warm Springs. But I think so.”
Thinking about Warm Springs ruined my appetite. Right about then, Sam and Loretta and Howie were sitting down to eat without me. Sam was probably telling every detail about how me and Junior sneaked out of there. Just like he was the clock on Olivia’s dresser watching it happen.
I never thought I’d say this—but I sure would like to have heard his version!
To change the subject, I asked Daddy had he planted his peas yet. But he just shook his head and said, “Maybe now that you’re here, I’ll get that done. Seems like we just can’t get along around here without you.”
His voice was flat when he said it, so I couldn’t tell what he meant. Was he glad I was there? Or was he being sarcastic because I’d come to check on him?
After supper, I started helping Momma with the dishes, but Daddy took my towel. “Go to bed, Ann Fay,” he said. “You look beat.”
I was tired on account of I hadn’t slept much during the day. I had tried, but honest, my mind wouldn’t settle down for thinking about that patrolman. And Junior and my family. And Warm Springs and Suzanne and Gavin.
So when I saw how Daddy was going to help Momma with the dishes, I went straight to bed. And I tell you what’s the truth—if my daddy or anyone, including me, had a bad dream that night, I missed it altogether. I slept clear through till morning.
I figured there wasn’t anything to do but get up and go to school. And that meant going right back to where I started at the beginning of the year. In eighth grade, facing Rob Walker, and sitting out recess.
For some reason it didn’t scare me, though. I had been somewhere special. To a historic place that no one else at my school had ever seen. And that made me real proud.
When I got on the bus I went halfway to the back and sat down with the rest of the students. I could see the bus driver was surprised. And people said “Hey” to me. And “Welcome back.”
When the bus stopped at Whitener’s Store, Jean got on with her brothers and sisters. She caught sight of me just before she sat down. Her eyebrows went up and she smiled like I was a happy surprise. And when we got to school she waited for me outside the bus door. “Nifty!” she said. “No more crutches. Does my mother know you’re back?”
I shook my head. “I just got home yesterday.”
“What was it like? Did you have a good time? Did you learn to walk?”
Before I could even answer her, one of her friends got off another bus and called her name.
“I’ll talk to you later,” I said. And then I headed toward the school.
Wouldn’t you know, Rob Walker got to the steps just when I did. He was running. I could see he hadn’t changed a bit.
But I had. At Warm Springs, I learned I wasn’t a cripple. I was a polio. And I didn’t have to be afraid of anyone.
So when I saw him, I spoke first. “Look who’s back,” I said. “Can you hold that door?” In my mind I snapped my fingers.
Rob gave me a surprised look, but he actually held the door for me.
“Thanks!” I said. “Where I came from they had magic doors. You would think I was the queen of England the way those doors opened when they saw me coming.”
“I know that’s a lie,” said Rob. And he went on down the hall.
People were talking about me. I heard my name going up and down the hallway. It’s a wonder I even made it to my class for all the people stopping to watch me use those canes. I knew my walk was a little lopsided, but I just looked them in the eye and decided not to care what they thought of me.
Peggy Sue grabbed me in a big hug, and then she said, “Are you going to show me how you can walk or not?”
“What makes you think I can walk?”
“I know you, Ann Fay. If you went down there to walk, then I figure you did it. And anyway, you wrote me about that. Remember?”
So I handed her my Canadian canes and I walked the rest of the way to my class. I had to rest a few times and I hung on to the wall some. But it made me think I could almost leave those canes at home—if I took a notion.
When I got to my classroom the smile on Mrs. Barkley’s face made me think she was glad to see me. And she gave me a hug too. Later when the class went out to recess she made arrangements for someone else to supervise them. And she asked me to stay in. Then she sat in a desk across the aisle. “Well, Ann Fay, I guess your homecoming was unexpected.”
I just didn’t know what to tell her. So I sat there and stared at the cracks between the floorboards. And rubbed my foot in a figure-eight pattern in a bright spot on the floor.
“I’m sure they didn’t expel you from Warm Springs. You’re such a model citizen.”
I gave a nervous laugh when she said that. What would she think if I told her I ran away? And that an officer of the law had come looking for me?
“So why did you come back?”
“Warm Springs was wonderful,” I said. “Everybody there was like me—I mean, not exactly like me, but they had problems getting around too. Or maybe it was just one arm they couldn’t use. And some people were even twisted out of shape. Maybe they would look funny to normal people, but to me it was the most comforting place in the world. I was real mad when my neighbor came to get me.”
Then I stopped. How was I going to tell Mrs. Barkley about my daddy?
Mrs. Barkley got up and moved the desk she was sitting in. She pushed it right up against mine. Then she put her hand on my arm. “I want to help if I can,” she said.
And I knew it was true. But I just didn’t see how anyone could help. Still, I had told Momma I was going to find a way to change things. And I knew if there was anyone I trusted besides Junior Bledsoe—who would probably never speak to me again—it was Mrs. Barkley.
So I said, “Something is happening to Daddy. At first when he came home from the war it seemed like he was fine. But he’s not fine. He has nightmares. He doesn’t sleep and then he gets angry. Momma says it’s like they killed the man she used to love. It’s like his body is home but he’s back in Europe, still fighting that war.”
“Oh,” said Mrs. Barkley.
I didn’t know what “Oh” meant. Maybe it meant she didn’t know what to say. Or maybe it made her think of something she could do about it. But suddenly I wasn’t sure I wanted her to do anything.
“Please don’t tell anybody,” I said. “Please don’t.”
“Ann Fay, are you in danger?”
I didn’t know what to say about that. Because, to tell you the truth, I didn’t think my daddy would ever hurt me, but I didn’t exactly feel safe with him either.
Still, I shook my head. “No,” I said. “I’m not in any danger.”
I didn’t tell her about my momma’s black eye. I had probably said too much already.