Cam didn’t know what to do with this woman. At turns she was lost and completely vulnerable, and then she just pulled herself together and marched on.
She wanted paper and a pencil. So, he led her to the kitchen and pointed to a seat at the table, then gathered the supplies she’d requested.
She settled herself at the table, and when he handed her the materials, she immediately got to work, Free curling up at her feet.
Dad would be pissed about the dog in the house, but Cam felt he didn’t care as much as he once would have. Last Christmas, his father’s affair with a married woman had come to light, and it had changed Cam’s estimation of his father immensely.
A man who talked about right and wrong, good and bad, who then secretly slept with another man’s wife—a woman who was part of the family Delaneys had looked down upon and been feuding with since the dawn of Bent... Well, he was not the man Cam had thought he was.
But Dad was out of town and Cam’s relationship with his father wasn’t important. What was important was Hilly.
“You don’t have to do this all now. You’re probably hungry.”
She shook her head, furiously scribbling. “This first.”
Cam had to admit he didn’t hold out much hope for a usable sketch, but if it gave her some sense of focus, it wasn’t so bad to let her have at it.
They both reeked of smoke and would need showers. At least he was starting to overcome the stinging shards-of-glass feeling in his throat enough to want to eat.
Dylan would be home soon from the bank, and Cam had called Jen to come cook them dinner once she closed up the store. Though he hadn’t asked Laurel over, he wouldn’t put it past her to stop by just to poke at things for her case.
Cam needed to do some of his own poking first. “You don’t know how to use a phone.” He winced at how abrasive that came out.
But Hilly didn’t even look up as she focused on her drawing. “We didn’t have one.”
“Not even a cell?”
“Dad didn’t trust the outside world.”
“Why?”
She looked up at him, her expressive mouth turning downward and her dark eyebrows drawing together. “I don’t know why exactly. Lots of reasons. You can’t trust people. They’ll only hurt you. Staying away is safe. Out here...” She looked around the spacious, well-kept kitchen. “Not safe at all.”
“But you are here.”
“Like I said before, I don’t have a choice.” She flipped over the paper and then started writing something.
Cam heard the front door squeak open and then click shut. Jen breezed in. “You sounded urgent on the phone so I got Lydia to come close the store for me.” She wrinkled her nose at Cam. “You stink.”
“Fires will do that to you.”
Jen’s lips firmed. “It isn’t bad enough you had to go risking your life as a Marine, now you’re in the middle of fires. You and Laurel just can’t seem to keep yourselves out of trouble, can you?” She took a few steps and hefted some bags onto the counter, then she turned to Hilly, all smiles.
“Hi. I’m Jen Delaney.”
“H-hi. I’m...” She trailed off, flicking a glance at Cam. She looked lost, and it did something uncomfortable to his chest. Made it too tight and reminded him of helpless feelings he’d hoped to leave behind when he’d left the military.
She didn’t know whether or not to give her name. She thought the outside world was dangerous and she had no choice but to weather it.
“This is Hilly. Who also stinks.”
Both women gave him outraged looks, but Hilly’s mouth quirked a little bit, the reaction he’d intended to elicit.
“Well, I’ll start on some dinner,” Jen said, clearly determined to take charge. “Why don’t you show our guest where she can get cleaned up?”
“Oh, I—”
Cam crossed to the table and took her elbow lightly. “You can finish the drawing later.”
Hilly clutched the paper as he tugged her to her feet. She glanced back at Jen, then at the hallway Cam was leading her toward. Free followed them, her claws clicking against the hardwood floor.
“I only have these clothes.” Hilly swallowed, and it dawned on him she didn’t just mean here, she meant at all. All her clothes and things had burned up. She was taking it like a champ, but he’d let himself forget her whole life had just burned to the ground.
“I’ll find something for you to change into. Whatever you need in the next few days, you only have to ask.”
She shoved the paper at him. “It isn’t perfect, but it might help.”
He led her to the staircase and up the stairs as he studied the picture. It was a million times better than anything he could draw. While it was a long shot he could find anyone her father had run into, this picture was a tangible thing he could show people.
“Hilly, this is amazing.”
“I wrote everything he was wearing, anything he’d have on him, and hair and eye color on the back,” she said, clasping and unclasping her hands as she followed him down another hallway.
“This’ll be a good start,” he said hoping to ease some of those nerves that were now vibrating off her.
She needed things to do. She needed to focus on the next step instead of all the losses she was in the middle of.
That he knew firsthand.
He stopped at the bathroom door and nudged it open. “Here’s the bathroom. Wait right here.”
Her eyes widened a bit, but she stood rooted to the spot as he walked farther down the hallway and went into his room. He dropped the picture on his bed, then rummaged around in his closet looking for a robe or something like it. He thought he maybe had one he’d been given as a gift at some point or another.
Once Hilly was in the shower he’d ask Jen if she had any clothes he could pawn off on Hilly, but he wanted to get Hilly settled into a shower first.
Finally he found the robe he was pretty sure he’d never worn, then he returned to the bathroom, where she stood looking like she hadn’t moved a muscle. The fear and the nerves were all back with a vengeance and he wished he had some way to take it all away from her, but it would require time.
He handed her the robe, and then stepped inside the bathroom and opened the little closet there.
“Towels in here. Soap and whatever in the shower itself,” he said, pointing toward the glass stall. “Feel free to poke around for anything you need. It should be pretty well stocked. Between me and my brother, and Laurel, Gracie and Jen coming and going, we usually have plenty of stuff at the ready.”
“I thought you only had two sisters.”
“Yes. Gracie’s my cousin. She lived with us for a while. She lives in town now, but there was some trouble a while back. Well, anyway, long boring history. You go ahead and clean up.” He stepped out of the bathroom and gestured her in.
She took a few hesitant steps into the bathroom, looking around wide-eyed before her gaze returned to him. “Where will you be?”
She didn’t trust him, but he was still her safe place. She didn’t know this house or his sister, but in an odd way she knew him.
He walked over to the door to the guest bedroom. He shoved it open. “I’m going to be in here getting things ready for you. Door open. You just come in here when you’re done, and if I’m not here, trust I’ll be back shortly.”
She nodded, clutching the robe to her chest. “Okay. Okay.” She chewed on her lip, but then straightened and closed the door, determination etched into the features of her face before the door clicked shut.
Cam let out a breath. For a second he allowed himself to consider how completely out of his depth he was. His plan had been a quiet security business, not fires and investigations that might run counter to his sister’s law enforcement ones. His plan had definitely not been a vulnerable woman who, by all accounts, didn’t have a clue as to how the “outside world” worked.
But she was his responsibility. He’d decided that, and if he could help her...if he could help... Well, things would be better. They’d have to be.
* * *
THE HOT WATER didn’t seem to run out, once she’d figured out how to get it going in the first place. The sheer heat of it was the one thing Hilly couldn’t get over. Dad had sometimes spoken of the extravagance of the outside world, so while this house was like an unfamiliar land, it wasn’t totally foreign in idea. Some people needed fancy things and too big of a space to convince themselves they were better than others, Dad always said.
But she hadn’t expected there to be so much to that. Space and nice wood, sure. But the endless hot water was a marvel. Sweet-smelling soaps and shampoos that left her feeling soft instead of scrubbed raw. Towels, she noted as she dried off, that had more luxury than any of her clothes. Mirrors to stare at a face that wasn’t altogether familiar.
She dried herself off watching the face in the mirror. What did Cam see when he looked at her? His sister had swept into the kitchen all smiles and chatter and Hilly had felt like some...wounded creature all of a sudden.
She supposed it didn’t really matter what he saw. It didn’t particularly matter what she saw. What a person looked like didn’t matter. It was what they did and what they said that mattered.
Cam had done and said all the right things so far. He was kind. She had to believe he was kind or she’d go a little crazy.
And he looks very nice on top of that.
She shook her head at the ridiculous thought and pulled on the robe. The fabric was plush and velvety. It dwarfed her completely.
It was awkward to step out into the hallway in the too-big robe, naked underneath. It covered her entirely, but that didn’t change her knowledge of not having underwear on. Not wearing socks.
She tiptoed to the open door Cam had pointed out earlier. It was foolish to sneak and yet her brain and body couldn’t get on the same page. He was in the room, staring out the window, the side of his face to her.
Something about that profile, strong and focused, sharp and chiseled, made her stomach swoop and her heart pick up an extra beat. She’d never experienced this strange sensation before, but only Cam seemed to bring it out in her. Her reaction to his sisters, to the firefighters, to everyone else was far more...scared. Timid. She wanted to hide.
Cam didn’t make her want to hide.
Free got up from her spot lying at his feet, which alerted Cam to Hilly’s presence. He turned to face her, mouth opened as if to speak.
But he froze, his mouth staying open while his eyebrows raised. Then he blinked and the weird shock of his expression was gone. “This is your room for now. Jen found you some clothes. I don’t know if they’ll fit, but I’ll let you sort through all that. I’ll wait just outside, then we can go downstairs and eat.”
Hilly nodded and Cam quickly strode out of the room, closing the door behind him. There had been a tenseness in him she didn’t understand.
But understanding Cam, or even her reaction to him, was hardly important right now. She was hungry, and she wanted Cam to start looking into the picture she’d drawn and hopefully use it to get some clue as to where Dad could be.
She pulled on the soft pants that were a little too big, but had a tie she could use to keep them up. Once they were fastened, she dropped the robe and pulled on a sweatshirt. It should be strange to wear someone else’s clothes, but they were so much softer and warmer and cleaner than her own. It was a weird kind of relief.
There weren’t any socks, or anything to pull her hair back with. She’d have to ask Cam for some. It lodged something a lot more uncomfortable in her gut than that swooping feeling from looking at Cam. She didn’t want to have to ask for things.
You take care of yourself, Hilly. Don’t trust anyone to take care of anything for you. You are your only real friend.
She should have understood that every time Dad said that, he didn’t mean they were a team. She’d thought they were in it together against the world. She should have realized long before now what he meant was she was alone.
Period.
Now she was alone without her father, without a home, without anything. It was horrifying, but it meant... It meant she had to trust herself. Her words. Not Dad’s. He’d disappeared on her.
She only had herself now.
She marched over to the door and jerked it open. “I need socks,” she stated.
Cam was waiting in the hallway and he certainly looked surprised by her unnecessarily loud statement, but he nodded. “Follow me. I’ll get you some of mine.”
She followed him down the hallway to a room at the end. He stepped in and immediately went for a dresser.
The room was big. Almost bigger than the cabin.
Your no-longer-existing cabin.
But everything had a careful neatness that made it feel way less lived-in than her cluttered room, and her ramshackle home.
Gone. All gone.
She swallowed down the lump in her throat. She wouldn’t cry. Not now. There was too much to do, and Dad always said...
To hell with what Dad said.
Cam pressed a pair of socks into her palm as he enclosed her hands and the socks in his. He squeezed gently. “Laurel’s coming over. She said she listened to the recording my phone took. Maybe she has some leads.”
Hilly nodded, which was when she realized a few tears had escaped because they trickled down her cheeks. She took a deep, shaky breath. She should feel embarrassed, but she didn’t. Cam was offering her comfort and focus, and that was nice.
“You need food. We both do.”
It was then she realized he’d showered, too. He was wearing different clothes and though she could still smell the faint smell of smoke on both of them, there was something piney and clean on top of it now.
This place had two showers with endless hot water and endless rooms, and how on earth had she landed here?
She followed him back down the endless halls and huge staircase, and even Free at her side didn’t make her feel safe. She thought the house might swallow her up if she let it. So, she focused on Cam. On how broad his shoulders were compared to hers. On how most of his hair seemed dry, but there was a little wet patch in the very center of the back of his head making his brown hair darker there.
When he walked her back into the kitchen, which now smelled like something foreign but delicious, not only was Jen there, but so was Laurel.
She still wore her uniform, and she looked strong. Jen was soft and like...like a woman. Laurel was strong and was a kind of woman Hilly understood a little better, but then the uniform went and undercut any camaraderie Hilly might have felt.
“Anything on the file?” Cam asked, looking over Jen’s shoulder at what she was cooking until she slapped him away.
Cam grinned. Laurel rolled her eyes.
Hilly felt like running far, far away. She’d never been in a room with three other people before. Unless she counted dogs as people.
“We didn’t get much,” Laurel said, answering Cam’s question as she leaned against the kitchen counter behind her. “But there were two names mentioned. Ethan was one, and it wasn’t clear if it was a first or last name, but he was one of the men there.”
All eyes turned to Hilly, but she didn’t know anyone by that name. She didn’t like three pairs of eyes on her. Panic clawed at her throat and she just stood there, immobile.
“What was the other name?” Cam asked, crossing his arms over his chest. He looked very formidable. She was glad he was on her side.
Are you sure he’s on your side?
But he moved forward, and then let his arms fall. He pulled a chair back from the table and nudged her into it. Free laid her head on Hilly’s leg in someone else’s clothes, but the dog looking at her hoping for a pet eased something.
“At first we thought they were saying Hilly,” Laurel said. Her expression was blank as she continued. “But the syllables weren’t right. They were talking about a woman named Hillary.”
Something cold and sharp skittered up Hilly’s spine. Laurel and Cam’s similar dark eyes watching her with speculation didn’t help the feeling any.
“Is that your full name?”
Hilly shook her head, but her vision had gone topsy-turvy and her stomach felt upended. “No. Hilly. Just Hilly. Always Hilly.”
But she could hear someone’s low, calm voice saying Hillary. It ached, that voice. She didn’t know why. It was all in her head, but she could hear it. Like a memory, but too foggy for that. A bad dream. A bad dream was all.
“Hilly,” Cam said, his voice low and forceful. She clung to that force.
Never trust an outsider, Hilly. They’ll only hurt you.
“Are you sure your full name isn’t Hillary?”
But she wasn’t. She wasn’t sure about anything anymore.