‘You and Daniel must come for dinner,’ Rosie suggested, phoning Juliet one morning. ‘When are you free?’
She must have finished decorating their new house, Juliet reflected, reaching for her diary. ‘We’re pretty tied up for the next couple of weeks; Daniel is trying to make a date to see his children. Is May 9th any good?’
‘That would be fine,’ Rosie agreed. ‘So are his family coming round to him being married to you?’
‘I don’t think so; we think his ex has been trying to turn the children against him, but legally, he’s supposed to be able to see them whenever he wants.’
‘Perhaps she’d hoped he’d always yearn for her and it was a shock when he remarried?’
‘Seeing she fell in love and married this artist, and didn’t even know about me until last year, I can’t see why she’s being so difficult. She’s got no cause for complaint as far as I can see.’
‘Some women are very possessive, Juliet. They want to have their cake and eat it!’
‘Well done, Rosie!’ Juliet exclaimed. ‘At last you’re becoming a realist.’
Rosie spoke indignantly. ‘I’ve always been a realist!’
‘Oh yes? You used to fall for every man who looked at you because you believed everything they said. Then you got upset when you found out what they were really like.’
‘That’s not true,’ Rosie protested hotly. ‘Salton’s everything I could have hoped for.’
‘Yes, thank God, and remember I introduced you to him. But what about Alastair Slaidburn who dumped you for me and then jumped off a building because I’d found out he was a gold-digger? What about poor penniless Charles, who you actually married because he promised you a house in Mayfair, which turned out to be rented, and you ended up paying the rent out of your dress allowance? What about that wounded airman, Freddie Something? You had an affair with him, and then he left you a note to say he was off to get married? You used to be hopeless at judging men,’ Juliet added teasingly.
‘Well,’ Rosie retorted, sounding like Liza, ‘at least I didn’t marry someone who was homosexual without knowing it!’
‘No, but he was a very rich duke, who gave me a fantastic divorce settlement.’ Juliet paused for a moment. ‘So, are we still invited to dinner on the 9th of May?’ she added good humouredly.
‘I suppose so.’
‘Cheer up, Rosie. I’m dying to see your new house. Did you do the drawing room Eau de Nile after all? I sometimes wish I’d chosen that colour…’ Juliet chattered on, knowing she’d been unkind to tease Rosie, but sometimes her sister really asked for it. She was maddeningly smug at times and took herself so seriously, it was good for her to be ribbed.
Later that morning Juliet got a call from Shane. ‘Louise is in hospital.’
He sounded worried.
‘What? Is the baby arriving?’
‘No, she’s not well. Losing Rupert has been preying on her mind for the past month or so. She has been having dreadful nightmares, about giving him up. I’m afraid having this baby has brought it all back to her.’
‘Is she actually ill? Or upset and depressed?’
‘Her blood pressure’s too high. I know she’d love you to drop in and see her; she’s in Queen Charlotte’s Hospital.’ He sounded tired and strained.
‘Of course I will. Is there anything else I can do, Shane? Do you want to stay here, while she’s in hospital? At least we can feed you?’
‘Thanks, but I’ve got impossible shifts at the hospital right now, so I’m sleeping at odd hours.’
‘Then I’ll go and see Louise this afternoon. Does she need anything? Spare nighties? Or bed-jackets? Or maybe books and magazines?’
‘I think just mainly your company for the moment, Juliet. She’s a bit lonely when I’m working.’
‘Sweetheart, I know you can no more forget Rupert than I can forget my baby daughter, but you should be concentrating on this new baby, if only for Shane’s sake,’ Juliet remonstrated gently, as she sat by Louise’s bed. ‘After all, it’s his first baby and you should both be excited right now, instead of which he’s worried sick about you.’
Louise looked thoughtful. ‘To be honest, I don’t think I’d feel as bad about Rupert as I do, if he had died. I know that sounds dreadful but death is so final, which in a way makes it easier to accept, because there’s no alternative. Knowing Rupert’s in Wales, running around, learning to talk, calling another woman “Mummy”, that is what really hurts, Juliet. There’s this great gap in my life, and I can’t help feeling it’s disloyal of me to be having another baby which I’m allowed to keep, when I had to give him away!’
‘It wasn’t your fault and you mustn’t blame yourself,’ Juliet scolded gently, gripping her sister’s hand.
‘It wasn’t his fault he was born either. It was mine and Jack’s, and yet he’s being deprived of having his real mother bring him up.’ Her voice broke, and she clapped her hand over her mouth to suppress her sobs.
‘Oh, darling.’ Juliet put her arms around her sister and hugged her. ‘I do understand how you feel, but are you being fair to this baby, by not wanting to give him the biggest welcome in the world? By feeling guilty about loving him too?’
‘I suppose not,’ Louise murmured reluctantly. ‘I suppose I’m being selfish, wallowing in my own misery, when Shane is such a wonderful husband and I’m so lucky to have him.’
‘Shane’s one in a million, alongside Daniel,’ Juliet agreed. ‘We’re both jolly lucky.’
‘Did I tell you we’ve painted the little room next to ours pale yellow? With Mickey Mouse curtains?’ Louise gave a watery grin. ‘And darling Bella is going to be sleeping with us, instead of in the kitchen; I don’t want her to be jealous!’
‘Do you remember how angry you were when I gave you Bella? Accusing me of thinking a little dog would help you get over losing Rupert?’
‘Sorry about that! You can see how touchy I am on the subject, can’t you? Shane’s thinking of getting a pair of blue budgerigars and hanging their cage where the baby can see them from his cot! He says you must stimulate a baby’s mind from the beginning.’
Juliet raised her fine eyebrows. ‘I wonder what Nanny would think of that? A dog in the bedroom and birds in the nursery? She’d have a fit and go on about germs and it being unhealthy, wouldn’t she?’
‘I’m never going to have a nanny,’ Louise said firmly. ‘Do you remember how we only saw Mummy and Daddy for an hour, after tea? We were stuck up in the nursery all the time, except when we were taken for a sedate walk in the park.’
Juliet nodded, remembering how they were dressed in party frocks, with white silk ankle socks and red shoes with a strap, to be brought down to the drawing room every afternoon. ‘But when Daniel and I have children I’m definitely going to get someone to help, Louise. I want to be there for Daniel whenever he needs me, and be able to go out in the evenings with him.’
‘But I want to look after my baby, myself. I don’t want another woman in the house, getting under my feet,’ Louise protested.
‘People are getting foreign au pairs instead of old-fashioned nannies, these days, why don’t you get one of those? You only pay them three pounds a week, plus board and keep, and they do all the boring stuff, like the washing and ironing, and then they baby-sit when you go out at night,’ Juliet explained.
Louise smiled. ‘Shane and I don’t go out that much, he’s usually exhausted at the end of the day. I can’t see you with some Swiss eighteen-year-old looking after your children,’ she chided gently. ‘You’ll get a smart Norland Nanny in that brown uniform they wear, who’ll expect to live in luxury in Park Lane, and your children will look like we did; all polished and partyfied! Actually, when are you going to start a family?’
Juliet flashed her wicked scarlet-mouth smile. ‘I don’t know, but we’re having great fun trying.’
When she returned home, Juliet found Daniel in a dangerous mood. Her heart sank. It wasn’t the first time since they’d married that he’d seemed angry about something and when he was like this, he shut her out, refusing to say what was wrong. He was coming down the stairs when she arrived, and without looking at her he stalked past her and into the ground-floor library, which had become his study, his face flushed, his eyes dark with fury. He slammed the heavy door shut behind him.
Dudley, hovering in the hall, looked strained, his face closed and his button mouth prim.
‘Everything all right, Dudley?’ Juliet asked casually, taking off her hat and gloves and shrugging off her coat.
‘Yes, madam,’ he said, his expression remote.
‘Right. I think I’ll have some tea; could you bring it up to the drawing room, please? And ask Mr Lawrence if he’d like some, too.’
‘Yes, madam.’ He turned and left on silent feet, as if the white marble floor had been snow. Juliet went thoughtfully up the black carpeted stairs, her hand trailing on the silvery banister rail. Hurt by Daniel’s behaviour, she wondered what had upset him? Had his ex-wife made more trouble between him and his children? For eight years their relationship had been passion driven, consisting of exciting secret meetings, whilst forbidden feelings had consumed them to the point of madness. Up until the time they’d got married they’d never spent time together doing ordinary things, like other couples. They’d never gone to the theatre or cinema together, or had walks in the park or spent lazy Sunday afternoons reading the newspapers, because they’d always been overwhelmed by lust, preferring to stay in bed. That burning desire for each other was still as strong as ever, but so was the ordinary banality of real life and domesticity and maybe that was the rub.
She sat alone, drinking her tea, but Daniel did not come upstairs to join her. What could she do to please him? To distract him? To excite him? She was sure Dudley knew what was wrong, but she could hardly embroil the butler in a domestic situation. Since she’d got married, the unspoken understanding and sense of camaraderie that she and Dudley had shared, such as when they’d sheltered in the basement together during the Blitz, had gone. His devotion to her and the way he’d managed to get little treats for her on the black market had now merged into his dutiful attendance on both herself and Daniel, which was perfectly correct and as it should be. But she sometimes missed the old days and close alliance between them which was never openly expressed.
Right now she’d have liked to have gone down to the kitchen and asked him if he knew what had upset her husband. But of course she couldn’t. Granny always said you must never put servants in an awkward position and you must never show your emotions in front of them, because to do so would embarrass them.
Juliet shrugged and reached for a cigarette, determined not to let her imagination run away with her. Daniel was probably only worried about something to do with his work which he couldn’t talk about. Or could his problems be financial? He’d be too proud to admit it, if they were. And if she offered to lend him money, or suggest they have a joint bank account she knew it would be the worst thing she could do. Daniel was such an independent man who liked to be in control of a situation, and that was what had first attracted her to him. What was it he had said to her that first time in Paris, melting her with his potentness when she moved her hips provocatively against him as they danced at Maxim’s? I do the leading in this relationship.
Juliet was awoken by the telephone on the bedside table. Beside her Daniel turned restlessly, grunting at being disturbed.
She picked up the receiver. ‘Hello?’ Night calls scared her. They rarely brought good news.
‘This is Shane. Louise has gone into labour…’
‘Oh my God… So soon? She’s not due for another seven weeks.’
‘I thought you’d want to know. There are complications because of eclampsia…’
‘Oh, Jesus! I’ll be there as soon as I can!’ Juliet exclaimed. ‘Tell her to hang in there, tell her I’m on my way.’
‘How is she?’ Juliet demanded, her heart lurching with fear, when she saw Shane standing disconsolately outside the delivery room.
Shane turned to look at her. Without make-up and with her blonde hair ruffled wildly around her delicately featured face, there was a stark dignity about her beauty he’d never noticed before. Her slightly slanted aquamarine eyes were looking beseechingly into his, her sensual lips parted.
He took a deep breath and in an effort to control his emotions, spoke like a doctor rather than a husband and father.
‘The baby’s heartbeat is rather faint and it’s a breech birth. They’re trying to get the baby out quickly with forceps. The problem is the placenta is breaking away from the wall of the uterus so Louise is haemorrhaging. They’re doing their best to stabilize her, but with her blood pressure so high, it’s not easy.’
Juliet nodded. More than once she’d had to help deliver a baby during the Blitz, once in a bombed building and twice in a shelter. ‘Is she conscious?’
‘They’re giving her gas, but I’m afraid she’s having a bad time.’
‘At least she’s here, Shane, in the best hospital in the country for childbirth, and not some run down cottage in the wilds of the Welsh mountains, like she was last time.’
In the darkness of their car, Henry and Liza sat in silence as he concentrated on the road ahead. There was hardly any traffic at this hour and they were making good time but it would be another half hour before they reached the hospital.
Henry was thankful for the silence; it gave him time to mull over Daniel’s words again and again, trying to analyze by his tone just how serious the situation was. Obviously Daniel hadn’t wanted to alarm them too much, yet he had admitted Juliet had asked him to phone right away. In turn, Henry didn’t want to frighten Liza; time enough when they got to the hospital to find out exactly what was happening.
But Liza had guessed at once that the baby might not survive. ‘They sometimes only weigh two or three pounds at seven months,’ she told Henry, but so far it had not struck her that Louise might be in danger.
Henry pressed down harder on the accelerator. It was the not knowing which he found hard to bear. The road stretched ahead like a flat black snake in the darkness and he started praying.
Half an hour later a door opened, and Juliet, Daniel and Rosie spun round as Shane emerged from the delivery room. His cheeks were wet with tears and he looked exhausted.
Not daring to ask, their hopes suspended in a moment of apprehension, they braced themselves.
He ran his hand across his forehead in utter weariness. ‘We’ve got a beautiful little girl and they think there’s a good chance she’ll pull through,’ he croaked.
Juliet’s heart hammered in her ears. ‘And Louise?’
‘Very tired and weak, but she’ll be OK.’ He sank onto a wooden bench as if his legs could no longer support him. ‘She needs to rest, though. Her gynaecologist says she’s not to have any visitors for the moment.’
Juliet rushed forward to embrace him. ‘Oh, Shane. Thank God they’re both all right. Have they put the baby in an incubator?’
‘Yes. They’ve taken Daisy into the intensive care nursery. She’s beautiful’ – his face broke into a tired smile – ‘even if she does resemble a skinned rabbit at the moment.’
‘Daisy?’ Rosie exclaimed. ‘What a sweet name.’
Daniel shook Shane by the hand. ‘Congratulations, old chap! You must be done in. Are you on duty tomorrow?’
‘’Fraid so.’ He took a deep breath but with each passing moment he seemed to be reviving as if he couldn’t believe that everything was all right after all. This had been the worst night of his life. As a paediatrician he spent most of his time assuring parents that their offspring would be all right, that everything was being done and that they were not to worry. Now, for the first time he realized with profound shock what it was like to actually be a parent himself, with his own child in mortal danger.
Footsteps coming towards them made them all turn to see Henry and Liza, white faced and anxious, hurrying towards them.
Daniel met them with outstretched arms. ‘Everything’s all right. I’m so sorry my call got you out in the middle of the night…’
‘That was my fault,’ Juliet said, kissing her mother on the cheek and hugging her father. ‘We didn’t want to scare you, but things went very wrong for a while, and they’re both only out of danger now.’
Shane greeted them, smiling broadly now. Quickly he outlined what had happened.
‘And Louise is really all right?’ Liza insisted. ‘Can I see her?’
‘She needs to rest right now. She’s lost a lot of blood, but you can visit her in the morning.’
‘Why don’t we all go back to Park Lane?’ Juliet suggested. She looked at her parents. ‘You’ll stay with us for a few days, won’t you? Wait to see Louise and Daisy properly?’
Liza needed no persuading. ‘Of course we will! I’ll have to nip down to Surrey tomorrow to fetch some clothes, but otherwise…’
Juliet and Rosie exchanged amused glances. Daisy’s arrival in the family was a perfect excuse for their mother to catch up with her London friends, and do a bit of serious socializing.