“Kelly, can I see your engagement ring again?”
I held out my hand, and Minnie-from-Accounting leaned over the reception desk and applied her x-ray gaze to my third finger. In the week I had been working here, Minnie came by daily to chat, which really meant discussing engagements—mine, and her lack of one.
As she eyed the ring, I held my breath, but the cubic zirconia seemed to be passing. She stuck out her lower lip. “Seriously, I told Jared all about you. The fact that you’re only twenty-one and already engaged. And you know what he said?”
I shook my head. So far, all I knew about her boyfriend was that he liked craft beer, the CFL, and staying single.
“He snorted and said that you’d probably end up with two kids and a divorce before you were thirty! Can you believe it? The guy does not have a romantic bone in his body.”
I sighed. I didn’t know Jared, but our philosophies on early marriage seemed to be in alignment.
The phone rang, and I picked it up. “Good morning, C2C Sports Radio.” I put the call through to the sales department. Minnie picked up the heart-shaped gold frame on my desk. “Your fiancé is so cute! That dark hair and tan, and his eyes—what colour are they?”
“Hazel.” They might turn a shade darker if he could hear this conversation.
“And he works out, right?”
“Uh huh. He does MMA training.” Well, he sort of did at one point. I had to play up his ass-kicking abilities.
“Mmmm, no wonder you wanted to lock that down. So, when will I get to meet him?”
“Jeez, I have no idea. Phil’s travelling all summer. All I get are postcards and the occasional phone call.”
“Travelling without you? That doesn’t seem right.”
“It’s something he and his friends have been planning ever since high school.” That was true anyway. Phil always had wanderlust and wanted to do a big trip after graduating.
I was getting to the end of my lying abilities. All I expected was to ward off guys, but Minnie wanted to discuss wedding plans. I knew nothing of weddings. Finally, she remembered she had a job to do and drifted back to Accounting. After she was out of sight, I let out a long breath and nervously felt the bridge of my nose. I had just told so many lies that even Pinocchio would be shaking his head.
I tapped my fingers on my clean desk. Frankly, it was kind of boring here. Hockey season was over, and we weren’t getting that many guests or visitors. I got up and went to Cheryl’s office.
I knocked and poked my head in.
“Hey, Cheryl, have you got a minute?”
She looked up at me with wide eyes and then dropped a file on the floor. I helped her pick up all the papers and then sat down across from her.
“I thought everything was fine,” she blurted.
“Um, it is.”
“Then you didn’t come in to quit?”
“No, of course not. I came in to see if there’s more work I could do. You know, when it’s not busy. I’d be happy to do anything.”
Cheryl blinked at me a few times. “Well, that would be wonderful.” She stood up and took out a fat folder from the filing cabinet. “These are the expense reports. If you could go through each one and make sure that the receipts match the forms. Also, here’s the guideline. Expenses are not supposed exceed certain thresholds, so if you could double-check those as well.”
I eyed the papers. “Sure. I don’t think this will take that long, so if you have anything else, feel free to bring it.”
“Thank you, Kelly. I certainly will.” Cheryl looked the happiest that I had ever seen her.
News of the free labour at the reception desk spread quickly, and I soon had lots to do. My favourite work came from the show producers, who gave me research assignments. I was learning lots about different sports, like Major League Soccer, minor league baseball, and lacrosse. And there were promises that I might even get to do some pre-interviewing.
“Kelly, you’re a dream,” said Ruby Leitner, as she picked up backgrounders I had done on two Whitecaps players. She worked on the early morning show and was the only female producer at the station. She was a feisty brunette in her late twenties.
“It’s no problem. What I can’t understand is what the previous receptionists did all day.”
“From what I could see, vacantly staring into space and remembering to breathe were the main occupations of most of them.”
“Luckily, breathing comes naturally to me.” I said, and Ruby laughed.
“You must have more ambition than being a receptionist. You’ve got enough energy.”
“Definitely. Is it wrong to confess that your producer job really appeals to me? You know, the background and organizational stuff. I don’t know exactly what you do, but everything I’ve seen so far looks interesting.”
“Funny, I thought you were going to say you wanted to be a broadcaster. That’s what everyone wants, and you’ve got the right looks. Well, maybe you should job-shadow me one day. I know you don’t have any technical education, but you know there’s an intern program here, right?”
“Ravi’s job, right?”
“Yes. Unfortunately you missed the intake, but if you wanted to apply next spring, I’m sure you’d have a good chance. I’ll mention it to Cheryl.”
“Thank you so much.”
“No problem. We women have to stick together around here.”
That was true. Although my fake engagement was helping, it wasn’t foolproof and there was a ton of sexism here.
Exhibit A wandered up shortly after.
“So, Kelly, I was supposed to drop these reports off for Don, but his door is closed right now.”
Michael Hauser was leaning way over my desk and invading my personal space. He worked in the sales department, and he never took no for an answer—with clients or women.
“Yes, he’s on a conference call with Toronto. Leave the reports on the package back there, I’ll put them in his office once he’s free.”
“Well, aren’t you sweet? How ’bout I pay you back with drinks after work?”
“Not necessary. It’s my job.”
“Ahhh, c’mon. Loosen up a little.”
I held up my left hand. “Talk to the ring, Mike.”
“You know, I don’t completely buy the whole fiancé thing. How come we never get to meet this dude?”
“I’ve told you a million times. He’s in Southeast Asia right now.”
“Well then, you must be aching for a little action. I could put out those female fires with the Hauser Hose.”
I snort-laughed. “Seriously? I guess I’m the first one to tell you this, but hoses are soft and limp. Now, shoo. I have work to do.” Cheryl wanted me to double-check the courier billings, and that required my full attention.
I really enjoyed having a regular nine-to-five job. I ran early in the morning and then showered and went to work. I had my weekends free for outdoors stuff or going out with my girlfriends. And for the first time ever, I had joined a summer hockey league. I ran into Dave Vanderhauf at a party, and he was happy to add me to his mixed league team since he deemed me a ringer. As he told me, “Most chick players suck balls—not literally, since that would be sweet—but you can actually play so our team can clean up. There’s this one team of assholes I’d really like to take out.”
Awesome. Who said my competitive hockey days were over?
I could see that the Program Director was off the phone, so I grabbed the sales reports and the courier package and went to his office. He was a middle-aged guy named Don Johnson, or as he explained, “Same name as the guy from Miami Vice.” This might have been marginally interesting when anyone actually knew what Miami Vice was—“I’ll take Detective Shows of the 80s for 500, Alex,”—but not so much any more. Anyway, Don had this vision for the station as a big deal place, and he was the one who insisted on an attractive receptionist. Apparently he had visited some television station in L.A. so famous for their good-looking receptionists that athletes could not wait to come and hang out. Did I need to point out the differences between Los Angeles, a city filled with aspiring actresses and plastic surgeons, and Vancouver, a city of Gore-Tex and hiking trails?
I knocked and went inside. “A package and some reports for you, Don.”
“Oh, thanks. You can leave them there.” He motioned to the credenza. Don’s office was full of sports memorabilia that was probably getting more valuable by the minute. I balanced the package between a signed football and a retro baseball cap. As I turned to go, he cleared his throat.
“Kelly, a little fashion advice,” he began. Was he kidding me? Don was wearing baggy jeans belted below his huge gut, a wrinkled black t-shirt, and old Nikes. I figured my yellow shirt, black capris, and ballet flats trumped that. “A pretty girl like you should wear skirts and high heels, you know, to emphasize her femininity. That’s the kind of image we want for our receptionist. You do represent the station, after all.”
He might be my boss’s boss, but I did not have to take this shit.
“Don, I sit behind a desk all day. Nobody could tell if I was wearing sweatpants and clown shoes.”
“Yeah, maybe you’re right. Well, since they can only see from here up,” he motioned to the place above where his paunch began. “Maybe you should rock a little more cleavage. If you need help in that department, my girlfriend was telling me about water-bras.”
What the hell was a water-bra? This was beyond sexist, and I was absolutely steaming.
“Don, fuck right off,” I said and left.
I figured I’d get fired at the end of the day. I finished the courier reports, labelled the sales packages, and then typed up the backgrounder for the paraplegic athlete coming in tomorrow. Damn it, I had been enjoying this job.
“Kelly?” Cheryl poked her head around the corner. “Can I see you in my office?”
I swallowed and stood up. My photo fiancé smiled up at me, but that wasn’t giving me any confidence. At least I wouldn’t have to lie at my next job, which would probably be scooping ice cream for minimum wage.
I sat down across from Cheryl. I noticed that the piles of paper on her desk had diminished and her twitch was gone. She seemed more relaxed and confident.
“I understand that there was a little incident with Don today.”
“Um, yes.” Would it be too juvenile for me to explain that he had started it? I was pretty sure it was illegal or immoral for him to suggest I dress more sexily. But I shouldn’t have cursed him out.
“Kelly, you’re doing a fantastic job here. You’ve taken on so much extra work. And you’re very professional. I know that the boys can be a little pushy, but you keep them in line. Everyone likes you, and I think you’re enjoying work, right?”
I nodded. I knew a huge “but” was coming.
“Well, since I hired you directly and not through an agency, I can offer you a little more money. Only $1.50 more an hour, but that will add up over time.”
“Wait, I’m getting a raise?”
“Yes, of course. I really hope you won’t quit, Kelly. When Don told me about your conversation, I sensed there might be a problem. I know he can be an idiot, but that’s always been his way. He shoots off his mouth and regrets it later. Don’t take him at face value.”
“But—I told him to fuck off.”
Cheryl’s laughter was a high-pitched trill. “You would not be first one here to do that. You’ve been a lifesaver. I’m letting the whole office know that I will personally castrate anyone who causes you to quit. Please see me right away if there are any problems.”
“Thank you, Cheryl. That’s great.”
I stood up and went back to my desk. I smiled at photo-Phil. Looked like we were going to be engaged for a little longer.