“Did you see my goal on Saturday, Coach Kelly?” Layla was bouncing up and down with excitement.
“Of course, I did. It was awesome.” I high-fived her, and she skated off to get changed. Today’s skating practice had the most energy and focus ever. Over the weekend, we had won our first game. The celebration in the dressing room afterwards rivalled a Stanley Cup party.
Ed Lantos came over to the bench. Although he had never played hockey, he was one of the most enthusiastic parents. His son, Mickey, was our best defenceman.
“Hey, Ed. What’s up?” I finished putting away all the pucks and began emptying the water bottles onto the ice.
“You probably don’t know this, but I work at an ad agency.”
“Cool.” Did they want to sponsor the team or something? It was a little late for that, but since we had actually won a game, everyone was getting excited. Maybe they could sponsor the year-end party.
“I was wondering, well, we’re doing a commercial that involves hockey. Do you think you could come to a meeting about it?”
I raised my eyebrows. “Really? You want my expertise or something?”
Ed nodded. “Exactly.”
Well, there were a lot of people in town that had more expertise, but it sounded like fun. “Sure. I work a really early shift, so if your meeting was in the afternoon, I could make it.”
“Perfect. Here’s my card. I’ll set up the meeting and let you know the details.”
I nodded and then skated off to move the nets for the Zamboni driver.
Ed asked me to come in that Friday. I headed over to the address in Gastown that he had given me. The advertising agency was in an old brick building. It was modern inside, furnished in steel and black leather. The receptionist guided me to a glass-walled boardroom. Ed was already there with three other men, and he stood up to greet me.
“Thank you so much for coming. Guys, this is Kelly Tanaka. This is Szabo, our creative director, and Jacko, and Dan. They work on the Honda account.”
As I looked around, I got the creepiest feeling that everyone was checking me out in a very obvious way. Was it my clothes? I was dressed in my casual producer garb of dark jeans and a sweater, while everyone here seemed to be dressed in an artistic way. Why wear one shirt, when you could wear three?
Ed motioned for me to sit at the end of the table. I was relieved because that meant nobody could look at my body anymore, but now they seemed to be staring at my face. I discreetly checked for food bits from lunch, but found nothing.
Szabo began talking. “You see, Kelly, the ongoing concept for this campaign is ‘Expect the Unexpected.’ We want people to know that the Honda Accord may look like a regular sedan, but it has more performance and features than other cars in its class. Every spot we’ve done has an element of surprise in it.
“For the commercial I’m proposing—” He motioned to a board with a series of little illustrations. “You see a tough hockey player, coming in with the puck, hitting people, getting by the last defenceman, and scoring a highlight reel goal. The other players come in to congratulate him, his helmet comes off, and it’s a beautiful woman! She turns and says, “Expect the Unexpected.”
Seemed good to me, but there was a technical flaw. I assumed that’s why I was in the room, to pick these things up.
“Actually, you can’t hit people if you already have the puck.”
“No?” asked Jacko.
“No, you can only hit people who have the puck. But that could be even better. The woman could come in and deliver a crashing hit, take the puck off the other player, and then go in and do the rest of the stuff.”
“Yesssss.” Szabo closed his eyes and seemed to be imagining this new scenario.
Dan spoke up. “You see, Kelly, we actually had this concept a few months ago, but we could never find the right player. You need someone who can do all this in one shot, so you know that the same player that did all the hockey stuff is also a babe. Most of the talent we looked at was a little too, uh, butch.”
They weren’t looking in the right places. I knew people who were babes and good players. I could totally help them there.
Szabo continued, “Yeah, the rest of the players are all guys, you just see them peripherally, but it gives you the impression that everyone’s a guy. So you need a player who can believably play with guys and hit and score on cue. And Ed tells us you can do this.”
“Me?” Was he kidding?
“Yeah, have you ever played with guys?”
“More than half my hockey career, actually.”
Ed broke in, “It’s your fine features and your feminine face that are key, Kelly. We could dub your voice, but you actually have a husky, sexy voice that is just right.”
“My face? My voice?” I felt like someone was going to pop out of the closet and yell, “Punk’d!” at any moment.
“And she’s half-Japanese,” Dan muttered. “They’re gonna love that.”
“So, could you do all of this?” Ed asked.
Well, actually I could. As long as the goalie promised not to try too hard to stop my shot. I could definitely do the hitting and deking.
“Sure,” I replied.
“Great! We’ll need to shoot a test of you in makeup to show the client. This weekend, if you’re free. It’s not a done deal, Kelly. We need the client to sign off first. But they liked it when we originally presented, and it would be perfect for insertion in sports programming. Honda’s a sponsor of the NHL, you know.”
Ed started barking commands and getting everyone going on different tasks. I still had my doubts, but I knew that with the right makeup, anyone could be a babe.