“What Eees All Dees Stuff?” The Power of Simplicity

We are continuously amazed at the fact that our approach to our work is tremendously enhanced when we make things simpler, not complicated.

Steve Dykstra

Several years ago, I met a woman in a breakfast room of a hotel outside of Seattle. As we talked, she asked why I was in Seattle. I told her that I was there to conduct a HypnoBirthing workshop at Bastyr University, and I asked why she was in Seattle. She told me that she was doing fund-raising for her mission in Africa.

My ears perked up, and I asked her to tell me about birthing in her village. She shrugged in a very cavalier way and asked, “What’s there to tell? The women have their babies.” I persisted. “How do they have their babies?”

In a rather matter-of-fact tone, she explained that a laboring mother goes about her usual daily routine until she feels the baby begin to move down. She then leaves what she is doing and finds a wall or support to lean her back against. Propped in this way, she extends her knees and crouches down, with her lower arms and elbows resting on the upper part of her slightly bent legs. As the baby emerges, she leans down with her extended hands and says, “Baby come.” She receives her own baby.

I was excited to hear this because I honestly expected her to say that birth is as medicalized in her area as it is here in the States. I couldn’t wait to get to Bastyr to tell my students. When I finished telling my story, one of the midwives in the class spoke up and said, “I have a story to go with that one, Mickey.”

She told of once having a couple from Africa in her childbirth class. As she talked about the anatomy and physiology of labor and what happens at each stage, she could see that the husband was acting rather impatient. As she continued with details of complications and medications, the man began to roll his eyes and then tap his foot on the floor. His arms were tightly crossed on his chest. Everyone in the room was becoming aware of his apparent irritation, and the midwife felt that she had to address the situation. She asked him to share his thoughts.

The young man exploded, waving his arms into the air. “WHAT EES ALL DEES STUFF? IN AFRICA WE DOAN HAVE ALL DEES STUFF!! WE HAVE DE BABEE!!” And with that, he vigorously returned his arms to his chest, crossed them and emphatically thrust his head downward.

His message was simple. It goes to the heart of what we in HypnoBirthing frequently puzzle over: Why has all the “stuff” that denies the normalcy of birth and portrays it as an inevitably risky and dangerous medical event become a routine part of most childbirth education classes? Why are couples in a low- or no-risk category being prepared for circumstances that only rarely occur? Even more puzzling, why do parents accept the negative premise that birth is a dangerous, painful ordeal at best or a medical calamity at worst? Why do they blindly accept the “one-size-fits-all” approach?

If what couples are hearing in childbirth classes is far removed from what they want their birthing experiences to be, why do they spend so much time entertaining negative outcomes that can color and shape their birth expectations and ultimately affect their birth experience? In other words, if it’s not what they’re wanting, why would they “go there”? In HypnoBirthing, we doan have all dees stuff, and deliberately so.

You will not find superfluous, fear-provoking “stuff” in Hypno­Birthing. What is not there has been omitted intentionally; it is not an oversight. We believe the discussions that take place in many medical offices and hospital-based childbirth education programs are the primary cause of much of the fear that parents bring to their birthings.

Discussions of possible hardships that almost never occur in a HypnoBirthing are not included in this book or in our outlines. Lengthy explanations of difficult labors, described in harsh and confusing medical terms, have been left to other birthing programs. Information of this kind creates a state of fear that all too often results in the anticipated complication—an unresponsive body and unrelenting discomfort. Presented in a medical environment, this information becomes a “prestige suggestion,” meaning that it leaves an imprint that is more powerful than any other advice or stacks of printed literature to the contrary.

Many childbirth instructors feel pressured to act as information channels for their hospital and local physicians, so they teach a birth preparation class that is primarily designed to acquaint you with the “medical model.” They educate you about the drugs, technological apparatus and medical procedures that are routinely used during conventional birthings at hospitals. In short, they teach you to be a good, acquiescing patient. In HypnoBirthing, we do not believe it is your responsibility to be a “good patient”; it is your responsibility to be a good parent.

In HypnoBirthing classes, you will discover a stress-free method of birthing that is devoted to helping you learn, through self-hypnosis and special Slow Breathing exercises, the art of “letting go” and opening yourself to the joy of experiencing birth calmly and serenely. Pain, described so thoroughly in other typical childbirth classes, does not need to be part of the universal birth story, and parents should not have to read, listen or take part in presentations that describe labor as intense and grueling.

HypnoBirthing helps you to frame a positive expectation and to prepare for birth by developing a trust and belief in your birthing body and in nature’s undeniable orchestration of birthing. By teaching you the basic physiology of birth and explaining the adverse effect that fear has upon the chemical and physiological responses of your body, we help you to learn simple, self-conditioning techniques that will easily bring you into the optimal state of relaxation you will use during birthing. This will allow your birthing muscles to fully relax. In other words, we will help you prepare for the birth you plan and want for yourselves and your baby, rather than the birth that someone else directs. We will help you look forward to your pregnancy and birthing with joy and love, rather than fear and anxiety.

A Dad’s-Eye View of Birth

Conny’s water released at 5:30 am, but nothing else was happening. She told me to go to work. At 9:00 am, she said she was having surges, but nothing regular. I decided to come home, just in case. We pulled stuff together for the hospital and decided to go to my parents’ house, since they live only ten minutes from the hospital.

By the time we got to Dad’s house, the surges had faded, and for the next few hours she didn’t have even one. Conny was getting a little worried because in a few hours it would be twelve hours from the time her water released, and if things didn’t start soon it could cause her to be induced at the hospital, which we didn’t want.

After we ate, she lay down on the couch. We put on soft, instrumental music and started going through the relaxation scripts to put her at ease. Within ten minutes, she started having strong surges, five minutes apart. Within an hour, surges were about three to four minutes apart. By the time we reached the hospital, she was having surges every two minutes.

When she was assessed in the triage center, Conny was already 7 to 8 centimeters open. She continued to do her slow balloon breathing through all of this, smiling and at ease in between the surges. It was unbelievable. It was just like we saw in the videos, but now it was so real.

We got into our delivery room at 6:00 pm. The nurse set up the fetal monitor on her belly and then left us alone until Conny felt the need to start breathing the baby down. By 7:35 p.m., little Colin Emanuel Varga entered the world (only three and a half hours of labor)—no epidural, no episiotomy, no IV, no screaming baby, no pulling or pushing. He was seven pounds, three ounces and twenty inches long.

The doctor was absolutely fantastic. She was patient, understanding and encouraging, and used all the right terminology. Even the nursing staff was supportive. They were so surprised and impressed with this type of totally natural birth that we had a room full of nurses (between six to eight on a regular basis, and most of those were just there to watch). Everything went so well and so quick and so painless. As Conny put it: a lot of pressure, but no pain.

HypnoBirthing really works. We had such a wonderful experience, and Colin is alert, content and happy. Best wishes to the rest of you, and Happy HypnoBirthing.

Mark & Conny & Colin, Canada

We receive a multitude of wonderful birth stories like the one above almost daily. Their stories tell us that HypnoBirthing moms do not experience labor in a typical way. The pattern is incontrovertible. HypnoBirthing moms are breaking every mold that has been established by traditional birthing charts, scales and standards.

HypnoBirthings are often shorter, smoother and easier, and they are experienced in peaceful relaxation that allows the mother’s body to function as nature intended. There is far less incidence of intervention because parents carefully choose care providers who support their wishes for normal birth.

As a result of the aura of calm that our couples adopt, we are seeing many confident, relaxed birthing women progress from 4 centimeters opened to 9 or 10 centimeters opened in a matter of thirty minutes to an hour. We are also seeing moms who are ready to start breathing their babies down to birth long before the “appointed” 10 centimeters opened.

Even if, for some reason, a HypnoBirthing mom’s labor is long and slow, she remains comfortable, relaxed and energized throughout. The same is true of a short labor.

One of the nicest births—from the standpoint of relaxation and comfort—that I have attended in a hospital setting lasted fifty-two hours after the mother’s membranes had released. The doctors were willing to honor the couple’s request for a normal birth, and the mom allowed the baby to decide when to be born. After a reasonable amount of time had elapsed, the mom was put on antibiotics to avoid the risk of infection. The family had almost two and a half days of slow, lingering labor, but the birthing mother was totally comfortable. Throughout their labor, this couple continued to use the methods of passing time that they had been taught in their classes.

On the shorter end of the time spectrum was a birth I attended that took more time for the administration of paperwork before and after the birth than it did for the birth. Again, this all took place while the mother was in complete calm and comfort. The confidence and relaxed attitude that this couple developed through their classes allowed them to simply and easily birth their baby in the midst of a bustling staff who insisted that the necessary paperwork be completed and that the mom not birth her baby until the doctor arrived. The baby had other plans and emerged exactly as he chose to, doctor or no doctor. In both of the above scenarios, the couples were totally happy with their birth experiences, and both babies made a calm, gentle entry into the world, free of intrusive interventions.

With such wonderful variations in the manner in which HypnoBirthing families experience labor and birth, we don’t teach a first-time mom that she must plan on being in labor for at least twelve to twenty hours, if not more. Traditional birthing methods teach that a first stage of labor has, by itself, three distinct segments, slowly bringing a mother’s body from 0 to 4 centimeters opened, then from 5 to 7 centimeters opened, and finally from 8 to 10 centimeters opened in a transition period. We don’t teach numbers in Hypno­Birthing. Experience with HypnoBirthing families shows that there are really no stages to labor. Labor stages are merely chartable milestones developed as assessment tools for medical care providers. For the mother, labor is one continuum, and when the birthing mother is deeply relaxed, birth unfolds. The thinning and opening phase simply spills into the birthing phase at whatever degree that the cervix is opened, and the mom breathes her baby down to crowning, sometimes with only a few unnoticeable birth breaths, to complete the baby’s emergence.

Since you have chosen to birth normally, we will work with you in developing trust in your own intuitive birthing ability, talking of how you want to experience birthing, not about occurrences that rob you of your confidence and cast doubt on your ability to birth without fear.

Without all of dees stuff, you will come to understand the simple and true physiology of birth and, like other women who have freed themselves of the myths of birthing, you, too, will have de babee, smoothly, easily and in joy.