As they parted ways, Anthony promised he would keep in touch. No more avoiding calls and texts. And he promised that they'd get together again, soon. Sean kept pestering Anthony to come out with him again, promising him that what happened before wouldn't happen again.
But Anthony had no desire to even come close to that stuff again. He just didn't want to take the risk. Instead, he offered to have more breakfast outings. After the partying was done and over with, he could meet Sean for pancakes. It could be their thing.
Sean didn't look convinced, but he reluctantly agreed. At least for the time being.
As Anthony drove home though, he couldn't stop thinking about that night. Why didn't Sean understand that what happened only pushed him away from that lifestyle even more than before? Why was he being so pushy about getting Anthony out again, knowing it made him uncomfortable?
Surely he had to understand that after an experience like Anthony had, one where he almost died, that he'd be reluctant to dive back into that again.
Sean was a selfish guy, he always had been. And while they used to be best friends, Anthony had come to a point where he was to move on and do something different with his life.
Still, he was grateful they'd met up. After what Gabe has said about not talking to your friends for a while, and then finding out they were gone – and seeing the deteriorating condition Sean was in – it had been nice to at least chat for a bit. To let Sean know that if he ever wanted out, he had somewhere he could go.
Anthony had watched too many people fall too far down that rabbit hole, however. He knew the only way Sean would ever get help and change his ways was if he decided to do it on his own like Anthony had and for that he was thankful. The way he'd partied, he could have died before the age of thirty. And he would have just been another porn star addict who'd overdosed. No one would remember his name. No one, except maybe his family and friends that was. And most of his family wouldn't care. They'd just write him off and hope no one asked about their son, since it would bring so much shame onto the family name.
Well, everyone except Vanessa at least. She cared. Speaking of which – Anthony knew she would be up soon, and that she'd likely see the photo that had apparently gone viral. He promised he'd tell her this stuff before she found out from their sister, Shelby, or someone else.
He didn't feel like talking though. He just wanted to go back to bed. But he couldn't let his sister down. She had always been there for him, even when the rest of his family had written him off. As soon as he got home and settled in on his couch, he called his sister.
“Hey sis,” he said as soon as she answered the phone.
Her voice was groggy, and he feared perhaps he had miscalculated the time zone or something. “Hey bro,” she said. “What's up?”
“I didn't wake you, did I?” he asked before continuing.
“Nah,” she said through a yawn. “Well, not really. I hit snooze a few times, but needed to be up soon anyway. So why the early morning call? You need bail money or something?”
“Remember when you wanted me to tell you the next time I made the news?” Anthony asked, feeling silly for even doing this. But she did ask him to, and he was only doing as he promised. “Well, I may have just gone viral.”
“Wait, what?” He could hear her shuffling around on the other end of the phone. “With what?”
Anthony told her all about the kiss with Gabe and how it happened, he held nothing back. His sister, unlike Sean, could at least understand the sensitive nature of caring about someone and not just wanting to use them for sex.
In fact, he should have just called her in the first place. It's a shame she didn't leave nearby. Having breakfast with her, now that she'd grown up, would have made much more sense. And it would have been a lot easier on him as well.
“Oh my God, Anthony,” she said, suddenly sounding fully awake. “I pulled up my Facebook and you're trending all over the place. Friends who don't even know you are sharing it. Even the Washington Times wrote an Op-Ed on the movie. All over a simple kiss?”
“I guess so,” Anthony said. “I'm a bit surprised myself, but apparently the gay community is eagerly anticipating this film, and they're blogging about it like crazy. But the Washington Times? Really?” Anthony hadn't realized it made it that far, not yet. He needed to Google himself apparently.
“Wow, Anthony,” Vanessa said. “This is huge. You have no idea how huge this is, do you?”
“Honestly, it just hasn't sunk in yet, I guess,” he said. “I never expected to get this big with one film, you know? And this all just seems crazy. Beyond crazy.”
“Crazy and amazing,” Vanessa said. “Oh how cute! I just Googled your name and there's a YouTube video of a cute guy asking you to his college formal. He lives in San Diego. Maybe you should take him up on that offer, he's adorable!”
Anthony felt like blushing. It was all too unbelievable.
“I must be dreaming,” he said.
His eyes felt heavy and he was so tired, maybe that was it. Maybe he was still asleep on Gabe's couch and all of this was a dream. It had to be.
“No, sweetie, it doesn't appear to be,” Vanessa said. “I'm so proud of you, Anthony.”
The stinging in his eyes made him realize that yes, he was awake. And he was ready to cry. Maybe it was from staying up all night and getting very little sleep, but he found himself to be an overly emotional wreck at the moment. Vanessa's words simply pushed him over the edge.
“Thanks, sis. You have no idea how much that means to me.”
He had never heard his parents tell him that they were proud of him. Or his grandparents. In fact, nobody in his family had ever gushed over him before. All because he lived a lifestyle that they didn't agree with. Of course, he'd done a lot of things that he shouldn't be proud of. The drugs. The partying. The random hookups.
But even in his porn career, he'd been successful. Yet he was never allowed to be proud of that success. Vanessa was always worried about him. She never judged him, but she never failed to let him know she was worried about him. Not because of the porn, but because of the lifestyle he'd been living as a part of it. And now his little sister had a reason to be really proud and he felt like crying.
When they hung up, he did cry. Just a little. Wiping the tears away from his eyes, he felt proud of himself. Not just because of the movie, though he knew he'd done an excellent job with that too. But everything. Staying clean. Turning his life around. And even building his life up on his own, without any sort of support from his family.
Looking around his apartment, he smiled. He lived in a nice place, filled with nice things, in a nice part of the city. He'd paid for it all with the money he'd earned during his adult film career, he lived well, and he was never ashamed of it.
There was always some small part of him though that feared he'd either have to return to the porn industry or start waiting tables in order to keep the place. That part of him feared that this new life opening up before him was nothing more than a mirage, one that could evaporate before his very eyes if he wasn't careful.
But now, as he Googled himself on his phone, he wondered if he was being foolish and worrying about things unnecessarily. Anthony didn't want to get cocky over it, but things finally appeared to be looking up for him. That life he'd wanted for so long, the one he'd dreamed about, seemed to finally be within his grasp.