Gabe hadn't had nearly as much to drink as Anthony had. And while he felt slightly tipsy, he was still very much in control of his thoughts and actions. The reason he asked to come to the gay club was because he finally wanted to come to terms with who he was.
He was gay.
It wasn't something he was ready to shout from the rooftops just yet, but it was something he was learning to not hate so much. Seeing the comments from people online who supported him, had made him realize just how backward people like his brother were. It wasn't Gabe that was broken, it was Greg. And others like him.
There was nothing wrong with Gabe – or with Anthony. They were normal, everyday people. It was people like his brother who were the queer ones, the ones who had a head full of bad, hateful wiring.
And looking around at the others at the club, which was a place where everyone was free to be themselves, he felt more relaxed. Like he'd finally found his way home. He didn't have to worry about sitting too close to Anthony, or looking at another man in a sexual way. No one would judge him here.
The people in that club were celebrating who they were. They weren't hiding it away, ashamed of themselves. He knew that no one here would throw insults or hurl hatred at him. Here, he was truly and completely free. And he wanted to join in that celebration with them.
He hadn't known, of course, that Anthony would run into Nick, and that the night would take a depressing tone because of it. Anthony had more to drink than he probably should have, and Gabe decided to cut him off. He grabbed him a water, and stroked his back, trying to calm him down and reminded him that while he may have lost one good friend, he had another one nearby who was always ready, willing, and able to be there for him. After all, it was the least he could do after everything Anthony had done for him.
And after their little talk, Anthony seemed to be feeling a little better. He was smiling again, and laughing too. Which made Gabe happy to see. Anthony was the guy who always made others smile, and it was wrong for him to be depressed. It was wrong for someone to make him feel so badly. And all Gabe wanted to do was lift him up see that damn crooked smile of his.
As they talked and laughed together, Gabe had to resist the temptation to do other things he found himself wanting to do. Like kiss him again. It just didn't seem like the right time or place for such things. But as they sat together, listening to the horrible country music, Gabe began to feel that he had some personal epiphanies. And he felt inclined to share something with Anthony.
“I'm gay,” he said.
Anthony side-eyed him. “You just decided that? Right now?” he asked.
“No,” Gabe said with a sigh. “This has been a long time coming for me. A very long time. I'm only just now feeling comfortable enough to express it to anyone.”
“I can't say I'm terribly surprised,” Anthony said. “Not after some of the things you told me about your ex-girlfriends and your experiences and stuff. And especially after you kissed me.”
“Yeah, it was kind of obvious after I told you about me and Charlie, huh?” Gabe laughed.
“Not necessarily. I wasn't about to make assumptions based just on that. You were a kid. Weird shit and experimentation tends to happen when you're a kid. It's more or less what you said about not finding any women attractive. And the fact that you turned down the chance to go home with Shannon freakin’ Zimmerman. That was a big red flag – or maybe a rainbow colored flag, actually. I mean, you were either very, very picky, asexual or into men. I just couldn't be sure what it all meant, and like I said, I don't like to make assumptions.”
Gabe was thankful for that, but at the same time, he hoped Anthony believed him. This wasn't just a phase or a publicity stunt. He'd known all along, he'd just tried to change that part of who he was to please other people. Like Greg. And when it didn't work, he fought against it even harder. Until he was a self-loathing man incapable of getting close to anyone who might lure him in the wrong direction again.
Until he'd met Anthony, anyway.
Looking over at Anthony's features, he resisted the urge to run a finger down the length of his chiseled jaw. Gabe wanted to touch his soft lips, to feel those lips against his, as well as his other more private parts. He felt himself growing harder in his jeans as he thought about it, and wanted nothing more than to experience sex with another person. But not just any person. No, he wanted nothing more than to experience it with the person sitting beside him.
But even still, he wasn't sure how to go about it. He'd never hit on another man before. Things with Charlie had just happened. Naturally. And what if Anthony said no? Sure, they'd kissed that night at the party, but he'd also been wasted. What if Anthony wasn't attracted to him?
“I have a confession to make,” Anthony said with a shy grin, pulling Gabe out of his ponderings. “The last day in the studio, when you ran into me outside the bathroom?”
Gabe nodded his head, remembering clearly what happened. He'd jerked off in the bathroom after the scene they shot together. That was also a sign that perhaps he wasn't into women. He'd never had such a strong desire to masturbate in his life, and the only way he could cum was to think of Anthony's touch during that scene.
“I caught you, red handed,” Anthony said.
Gabe's skin instantly started burning with embarrassment. “Oh, God,” he said, trying to hide his face.
“I had my suspicions then, of course. But hey, sometimes a man just needs a release and who was I to judge?” Anthony said. He looked over at Gabe and must have realized he shouldn't have said anything. “Oh shit, I didn't mean to embarrass you. I get loose lipped after drinking, don't I? It's really no big deal. Besides, I have another confession to make while we're at it.”
“Oh God, what else could it be?” Gabe let out an embarrassed chuckle, almost afraid of what else Anthony could have witnessed.
Anthony leaned in close, close enough he could whisper and Gabe could still hear him over the bad country music. He lifted Gabe's face free from his hands and made him look him in the eye. “I was headed there to do the same thing.”
Anthony's face was inches away when he said it. His perfect mouth within kissing distance. And he'd just admitted to getting turned on and needed to masturbate in the bathroom after their scene. It was almost too much for Gabe to take. And a moment later, he found that he couldn't take it anymore.
Given how close they were sitting to each other, it didn't take much for Gabe to lean in and press their lips together. This time, it wasn't a quick kiss, nor a chaste one. Anthony's tongue slid into his mouth, and it nearly took Gabe's breath away. He ran his fingers through Anthony's hair as they kissed, as Anthony ran his hands along the length of Gabe's neck, giving him goosebumps.
Anthony nibbled gently on his lower lip, pulling back slightly so their eyes could meet. Gabe couldn't believe this was happening. His heart was racing, and he could hardly breathe. His erection was pressing against jeans, throbbing almost painfully, and he just wanted to be touched.
It wasn't a long walk to Anthony's home, but Gabe didn't know how to ask him to leave with him. He suddenly couldn't find the words needed to get what he wanted. He felt like a virgin, all over again. And in many ways, he was. This was all so new to him.
“I – I think I need to go to the bathroom,” Anthony said awkwardly. Gabe looked down and saw the hard-on trying to break through Anthony's jeans as well. He couldn't help but wonder – in light of his earlier confession – if he was sneaking away to take care of business this time too.
The thought of that turned Gabe on even more, and he started getting images in his head that were very naughty. Of Anthony in the bathroom, his pants down, his obviously large cock in his hands, jerking off to the thought of Gabe. Of course, Gabe would rather not imagine his cock. He wished he could see it - and touch it - himself. The desire both surprised and excited him, and he was no longer willing to push it back down. Maybe he was a little tipsy, but not wasted like the other night. These feelings were his own, and if the crowd around him found these feelings perfectly natural, then Gabe needed to learn to as well.
Gabe got up and let Anthony out of the seat. He watched the other man walk toward the bathrooms in the back – the single occupant ones. The bar wasn't terribly full as it was still fairly early in the day. Gabe wondered if maybe anyone would notice if he followed Anthony inside?