“It’s okay! Aydan, you’re okay!” Hellhound’s urgent voice penetrated my panic. “It’s just me. You’re okay. You’re home an’ you’re safe.”
Realization dawned and I fell back in the driver’s seat of my car, gasping. “Oh, fuck, you scared the shit out of me!”
“Sorry, darlin’.” He leaned down to study me worriedly. “I guess ya musta fallen asleep.”
“No, I just drove in.”
His frown deepened. “No, ya drove in twenty minutes ago. I saw the garage door roll down but ya didn’t come in the house. I figured ya were just doin’ somethin’ out here, but after a while I started wonderin’.”
“Oh.” I rubbed my forehead, which bore an aching indentation where it had rested on the steering wheel. “You’re right, I must have fallen asleep. Thanks for coming to get me.”
“No problem, darlin’.” He reached down to me. “Come on, let’s get ya to bed.”
“Heaven,” I sighed, and gave him my hand so he could hoist me out of the car.
The ring of the phone jerked me out of warm and wonderful oblivion. Eyes still glued shut, I hit the ‘Talk’ button and croaked, “H’lo?”
“Good morning, Dani-dear…” Nora hesitated. “Did I wake you?”
“Uh… yeah…” I dragged my eyelids open. From the other pillow, Arnie gave me a sleepy smile before closing his eyes again. Eyeing the slow rise and fall of his muscular tattooed chest, I banished my momentary envy at the fact that he’d fallen instantly back to sleep.
Nora was still talking, and I interrupted gently. “I’m sorry, I’m not quite awake yet. What did you say?”
“Should I call back later?”
“Um… no, that’s okay. I’m awake now.” I gave my head a shake, trying to kickstart my brain.
“I was calling to see when we could get together today,” she said.
“Um… what day is it…? Right, Tuesday…”
Shit, I wasn’t cleared for active duty yet.
Or maybe I was. I glanced at the clock radio. Nine AM. Holy shit, I was late for work. Stemp was going to…
No, Stemp was on his way to England. Dermott was going to kick my ass.
But I’d slept for nearly eleven hours. I could tell him I was just making really sure I qualified for active duty again…
“Aydan, are you still there?” Nora inquired.
“Um, yeah. Sorry. Tuesdays are really busy for me. I overslept, so I have to get to the office as soon as I can. And I have two-hour meetings back to back at eleven and one, so I won’t finish until three…”
“Oh.” Her voice was distinctly cooler. “Well, I certainly wouldn’t expect you to put your mother ahead of any of those… responsibilities. I must have misunderstood when you said you wanted to spend more time with me. Why don’t you give me a call when you have a few spare minutes?”
I knotted my fist in my hair. “Shit, I didn’t mean it like that. I could probably make it around ten-thirty, but only for half an hour…”
“Watch your language,” Nora said stiffly. “And you needn’t throw me any crumbs. I’ll be too busy to see you this morning anyway.”
The unspoken ‘I’m terribly disappointed in you’ pushed every one of my dysfunctional buttons.
“I’m sorry, of course you’re important to me…” I began, then caught myself. Stop apologizing. “Let’s make plans for this afternoon. Is it okay if I pick you up around three fifteen?”
“I don’t know if I’ll be ready to see you then.”
I jerked up to sitting position, my frustration and guilt bursting out. “Can we please not do this? Look, I’m sorry you’re disappointed. I didn’t mean to hurt you and I really want to see you. Can we please just get together this afternoon?”
Nora heaved a long-suffering sigh. “All right, Aydan. I forgive you, of course. I’ll be ready at three-fifteen.”
“Thanks. I’ll see you then.”
I punched the disconnect button and fell back on the pillow, pressing my hands over my face and fighting the urge to scream, swear, and beat the hell out of something. Not necessarily in that order.
“Okay, darlin’?” Hellhound rasped softly.
Dropping my hands, I looked over to see him studying me. Guess he hadn’t gone back to sleep after all.
“Fine.” I slapped the handset back onto its charging cradle and sat up, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed. “I have to get to work. I’m late.”
I made for the bathroom, hoping he wouldn’t follow me into the shower.
He didn’t.
Rinsing the conditioner out of my hair under the hot spray a few minutes later, my heart sank as I processed his absence.
I didn’t even remember saying goodnight to him last night. We had exchanged some promising kisses while we undressed, and then…
Shit, I’d collapsed into bed and fallen instantly asleep. I vaguely remembered nightmares soothed by his soft reassurances and gentle hands, but I hadn’t woken enough to even thank him.
And this morning I hadn’t kissed him, or even wished him good morning.
He was hurt. And rightfully so.
Tension wound up in my shoulders while I towelled off at warp speed. I’d have to make it up to him before I left. Maybe a quickie would do it.
Pasting a smile on my face, I hurried out of the bathroom, my wet hair still dripping down my back.
Arnie was reclining against the pillows with his arms tucked behind his head, smiling at me. But the smile didn’t reach his eyes.
“Hey, who’s this hot guy in my bed?” I teased as I snuggled in beside him. Trailing kisses along his neck, I finger-walked down the hard muscle of his stomach to the coarse hair that surrounded my goal.
His arm came around me, but his free hand stopped mine before I could fondle him. “Ya don’t really have time for this, do ya?”
My stomach clenched.
He was hurt. Now he’d go cold and silent…
Arnie frowned. “Aydan…”
Oh God, he was angry, too.
He hesitated. “So… ya know how I said I was comin’ up here to give ya a reality check if the mother-bitch started mind-fuckin’ ya?”
The air vanished from my lungs.
He’d lied to me.
He had some other agenda, and he’d lied to me.
I turned away so he couldn’t see my heart ripping in two. “Yes…?”
“She’s mind-fuckin’ ya,” Arnie said softly.
“Okay,” I said without meeting his gaze. “But why are you really here?”
“Aw, darlin’.” He folded me into his arms. “That’s why I’m here.”
“B-but you just said…”
“That’s what I mean. She’s twistin’ ya up so ya don’t trust anybody anymore, not even me.” The pain in his voice stabbed my heart.
“I’m sorry!” I hugged him tightly. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Christ, Aydan, ya ain’t hurtin’ me. I’m hurtin’ for ya. Just… look at me, okay?”
When I pulled back a few inches, he tipped my chin up and held my gaze with his. “We’re friends, an’ I’m never gonna lie to ya. Ya still believe that?” When I nodded uncertainly, he went on, his gaze holding mine. “So believe me when I tell ya that you’re a good person an’ a good friend an’ a good agent. An’ anybody that makes ya stop believin’ that, they ain’t worth your time.”
Hope stirred cautiously in my heart.
“So… you’re…” I studied his face, alert for the tiniest cue. “…not upset?”
“No, darlin’,” he said gently. “Why would I be upset?”
“I didn’t give you any dinner, I fell asleep on you last night, I didn’t even say good morning; and now I’m leaving you with blue balls. I’ve been treating you like shit, and I feel awful about it.”
He went still. “You’re treatin’ me just fine. I’m here to make sure you’re okay, not to get fed or fucked.”
I pulled away with an incredulous laugh. “Um, hello, Mr. Condom?” I pointed at the large unopened box on the bedside table.
Arnie grinned. “Okay, ya got me there; but just listen for a sec.” He sobered and took my hand. “Anytime ya wanna get horizontal, I’ll be hot an’ ready; but it wouldn’t matter if we never did the tube snake boogie again. I can always find some chick to get my rocks off, but…” He planted a gentle whiskery kiss on my forehead. “…I’ll never find another friend like you. So if ya don’t have time or ya ain’t in the mood, it just ain’t a big deal. Ya don’t hafta pretend.”
“I’ve never pretended,” I assured him. “Trust me, you’re so good in bed you could give an orgasm to a marble statue of the Virgin Mary.”
He stared at me open-mouthed for an instant before his laugh burst out. “Hell, darlin’, I dunno whether to be flattered or weirded out.”
I snickered. “Okay, that mental image was a little disturbing. But you get my point.”
“Yeah,” Arnie said quietly. “But here’s my point: You’re worthwhile for who ya are. Ya don’t hafta be a servant or a sexpot.”
His words hit me like lightning bolts. I opened my mouth but nothing came out. After a moment, I closed it again.
“Aydan?” Arnie’s brow furrowed. “Talk to me, darlin’.”
“I, um…” My voice came out in a croak. I swallowed. “I… wow. You just… completely upended my worldview. And I never thought I’d be happy to hear a guy say ‘if you don’t put out, I’ll find a woman who will’.”
“Shit, I didn’t mean-” he began anxiously, but I flung my arms around him.
“You’re perfect.” I kissed him, long and slow. “You.” I kissed him again. “Are.” Kiss. “Perfect.” Another kiss. “Abso-fucking-lutely perfect. How did I ever get lucky enough to find you?”
He flushed. “Shit, I ain’t anythin’ special. Anybody’d look good compared to the fuckin’ losers you’ve had so far.”
“No.” Cupping his chin in both hands and enjoying the roughness of his beard against my palms, I smiled into his eyes. “You make all other guys look like losers.”
“Stop,” he grumbled. “You’re gonna give me a swelled head.”
Cuddling closer, I coasted my hand downward. “Turns out I like swelled heads.”
“Mmm.” His voice deepened as I stroked him. “Is that a fact, now?”
“Mmhmm…” My response was muffled by his mouth, and I melted against him.
Lord, the man could kiss. Lips, tongue, and whiskers in perfect nerve-tingling harmony-
The phone rang.