LEVI LIES next to me and catches his breath.
“See,” I say, turning to look at him. “I told you hands-free orgasms are awesome.”
He nods and swallows. His forehead is covered in beads of sweat. He hasn’t spoken to me at all, not since I got off him, not since he collapsed back on the bed. We’ve never done this before. He’s fucked me, sure, but I’ve never fucked him, though I’m not really sure why. When we first got together, he told me that he switched, but he would always change his mind last minute when I was about to top. He’s so good in bed, I never really bothered to ask why. But the way he looked with his legs spread open and his eyes half-closed and his dick so fucking hard, I think I’m going to remember that all my life. The way he looked at me as the orgasm built up inside of him, the way his hands gripped the pillow under his head, that was so fucking hot.
“Are you okay?”
He nods again. I can see the lines on his forehead, the wetness of his eyelashes, the ridges on his lips.
“I’m going to go take a shower,” I say. “I still need to wash this off, though I think the blood has probably dried off now. And I’m not cold anymore.”
He doesn’t say anything. I’m lost. He’s just staring at me, his lips parted. I start to sit up, but he grabs my wrist, so I stop.
“What?”
He sighs as he sits up. He looks so beautiful and vulnerable. He also looks exhausted, completely spent.
“You can’t stay here tonight,” he says. His voice is raspy and deep. “This was a bad idea.”
“I was just going to take a shower—”
“And then you were going to sleep here,” he says. “You forget that I know you.”
I want to protest, but I’m not sure what to say. He’s right. I did assume I was going to stay here. It is the middle of the night, after all.
“You need to leave,” he says.
“But—”
He pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes. I lean in to ask him what’s wrong, but I’m shocked into silence again when I see the tear sliding down his cheek. He’s crying. Because of me.
“I just wanted to talk to you,” I say. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean for this to—”
“Please,” he says, his voice breaking. “I really think you should go. You can borrow some of my clothes if you want, but you can’t be here.”
I want to convince him I should stay, but I don’t think he would be receptive to the idea, not the way he looks right now, so instead I just nod and walk towards his closet.
“No one is going to give you a medal for self-sabotage, Damien,” he calls after me. “No matter how much you try.”
THE SUNRISE is beautiful, but it isn’t helping my efforts to try and get back into my bedroom. The glare makes it harder to see. My ankle hurts. I also don’t want to rip Levi’s clothes, even though I don’t think he wears these. I’m pretty sure he won’t want them back either.
It takes a bit of work, but I manage to get back into my bedroom without making that much noise. Once I actually land on my carpet, I groan. I’m in pain. I should have taken care of this injury hours ago, but I got busy. Every now and then my skin brushes against Levi’s sock and it makes me flinch.
Wincing, I peel the socks off my feet. The pain is a lot worse than it was before. I inspect the wound. The gash is pretty deep. I should probably get to a hospital, but it’s not like I can go and wake up my parents to take me. I can’t just walk out the door either. Then I sit there, trying to decide what I’m going to do next.
I’m still deciding when Alton bursts into my room. His gaze settles on me before he closes the door behind him.
“Thank fuck,” he whispers. He’s close to me now. “Where have you been?”
“I went to see Levi,” I reply, just as quietly. “I thought everyone would be asleep.”
“They were,” he says. “They still are probably, but I heard you coming back in. You could get into so much trouble.”
“You’re not going to tell, are you?”
He shakes his head. “But you can’t keep doing this. You just can’t. Why don’t you do what they want you to do for, like, a week? For all you know, it may make everything better.”
“How could it make everything better? Nobody believes me,” I reply. “And now I haven’t even got any money. Not that I had any before, but it’s even worse now.”
“This is best case scenario,” Alton says. He sits down on the floor next to me and glances at my foot. “What happened?”
“Just a tree. Don’t worry about it,” I say. “How’s this best-case scenario?”
“Look, Damien, think about it. You’re sick, right? Mom and Dad just want to protect you right now. But if you don’t let them, what comes next?”
“Nothing,” I say, shrugging. “I’m an adult. I can get a job and figure it out.”
He laughs. “Yeah, okay, have you met them? They’re overprotective at best. They’re not going to let you do that.”
“So—”
“Honestly my best guess is they apply for a guardianship order,” he says. “So please, keep your head down, okay? Just do as they say. Placate them.”
I look at him. “Is that what you do? Placate them?”
He laughs. “Sure. Sometimes.”
“It doesn’t seem like you do.”
He sighs. “It’s a lot easier to stay in someone’s good graces when you don’t see them that often,” he says. “Go to sleep, kid.”
I sigh too. “I think I need a lift to hospital.”
I roll up my jeans and show him the injury. He takes a sharp breath before he shakes his head.
“Fine,” he says. “We’ll tell Mom and Dad we were out for breakfast. But you must promise me you’re going to keep your head down, okay? You have to swear you’re going to look after yourself.”
“Okay,” I say, holding my hands up. “I swear.”
He gets on his feet before he helps me up. “So what happened with Levi?”
“I’ll tell you in the car.”