The screech of the big cat woke Crista. She bolted up in bed, upset that it had only been a dream. She dropped back on the pillow, thinking the animal’s presence in her dreams let her know she had yet to gain the strength she needed. And that was true.
She’d been home two weeks now and she still wasn’t comfortable here. It had been an awkward first meeting with her parents, Alejandro and Valerianna Cesare. They had stood staring at her as if they didn’t recognize her, but then she had resembled more a peasant than the daughter of a wealthy Spanish family.
Her father had been the one to speak first, telling her how good it was that she was finally home. He hadn’t stepped forward to welcome her with a hug and kiss, and she had simply stood there staring at him, trying to remember him.
It had been easy to see where Esteban had gotten his fine features. Though her father had aged, his hair having turned a silvery white, he was still a handsome man and tall, though not as tall as Esteban. Her brother stood with the regal bearing their father once had, his shoulders drawn back, his chin high and his chest wide while their father’s shoulders sagged just enough to show his age.
Her mother was a beautiful woman even with a touch of age that graced her face, though there was not a touch of gray to her dark hair. The first words her mother had said to her were, “You must be tired from your journey and in want of a bath. I’ll have that arranged for you immediately.”
Crista shook her head. Her mother had been more concerned with her appearance than with her return home. She couldn’t help but think how Ricardo and Lucia would have welcomed her home. Even after being away for her lessons at the convent a couple of days a week, Lucia would hug her close, the scent of whatever food she was preparing for supper heavy around her, and she would ask how the day went. Lucia would listen to her babble on, ask questions, laugh with her, then hug her again and tell her it was good she was home. Ricardo would get her from the convent and would wait until they were a distance away, then he would stop the wagon and give her a hug and ask if she was all right. He did that each and every time, and it was what she’d looked forward to the most on the days spent at the convent, that reassuring hug so filled with love.
She had gotten none of that on her return home from her true family.
She sat up with a stretch and looked around the room that had been hers when she was young, but that she hadn’t remembered. It was far different from the nearly barren shack she had shared with Diablo. It was much larger and full of color. Her bed was big enough for two people, yet she found herself sleeping on one side of it, used to being wrapped around Diablo in the narrow bed they had shared. She missed him more than ever when she’d reach out in her sleep for him to find he wasn’t there.
She had spent endless nights crying, her heart feeling as if it shattered over and over again. No one asked her about her time with Diablo. It was as if it had never happened, not a single word having been spoken about it, at least not in her presence. It broke her heart even more not being able to acknowledge her pain and sorrow. It was made worse that she also couldn’t mention the family she had left behind in Spain and all they had done for her. She had to hold her tongue so often she feared she would eventually bite it off.
She got out of bed and hurried into a skirt and blouse and her sandals. Her mother hated when she wore peasant clothes, but they were far more comfortable than the fancy clothing that filled the large armoire in her room. She rushed her hair into a braid and slipped quietly out onto the terrace and down the trellis that ran up the side from below.
Leaving her room any other way left her far too vulnerable of running into others, like the servant who entered her room every morning ready to help her dress and style her hair. Or her mother who would suddenly appear around a corner ready to reprimand her appearance or asking if she was up to visitors.
At first, her mother had been gentle about suggesting it was time for her to get to know some of the young women of her age and consider attending a party or two. It would do her good, she had insisted. Crista had no interest in either.
Today, however, she had no choice. Her mother had grown tired of her excuses and had arranged for the daughters of two neighbors to visit with her this afternoon. Her mother had made it clear that she had no choice in the matter and that she was to be at her best.
She hurried off once down the trellis and made her way to the orange grove. She didn’t need her brother’s shoulders any longer to reach the oranges. She could reach the lower branches now and she did, picking a good-sized orange off one of the many trees.
“The perfect morning meal and one your niece or nephew favors himself.”
Crista turned with a smile to greet her sister-in-law, Rosa, the only one she had adored upon meeting. She could see why her brother fell in love with her after they wed, since the marriage had been forced on them both. There was a natural beauty about her, although that could be because she smiled more often than not. And her dark brown eyes always seemed to sparkle with delight, though when Esteban was near her eyes were always filled with love. She also was petite in height and she was slim, which made her seem even larger with child then she already was, though it didn’t stop her from coming to the orange grove to collect her endless desire for oranges.
“I’ll get you one,” Crista said and picked a fat, and sure to be juicy one, off the tree.
Crista walked with Rosa to a wood bench under one of the orange trees and sat to enjoy their oranges.
“It must have been difficult for you to marry my brother a stranger to you and suddenly be saddled with a family full of strangers,” Crista said, hoping she might learn how to adapt as Rosa had done.
“My life was not good before I came here. Though everyone was a stranger to me, it was a far better life than what I previously had.”
Crista said nothing, her circumstances far different from Rosa’s.
“It cannot be easy for you returning home to a family who are mostly strangers to you,” Rosa said, ripping off another section of the orange to enjoy.
Crista couldn’t hold her tongue any longer. “Everyone mentions that to me and tells me not to worry that in time I’ll adapt, but what of my abduction? Why won’t anyone talk with me about it? Everyone acts as if it never happened, as if I’d come straight home once I arrived here from Spain.”
Rosa turned a sad smile on her. “They fear hearing what you might have suffered at the hands of the devil.” She hastily crossed herself for protection. “They also worry about adding to the already gossiping tongues.”
Crista nodded, understanding. “My honor was shattered the day I was abducted.”
“Your family’s as well, since it isn’t only about you as difficult as that might be to understand. Your parents worry that what happened with Esteban when he returned after so many years of living with the outlaws will happen to you. No family of status would dare allow their daughters to enter into marriage with a man they considered improper and inferior.”
“So gossiping tongues are saying what they wish about me,” Crista said and shook her head. “I don’t care.”
“But your family does and rightfully so since it reflects on their honor and respect in the small community of haciendas. They’re only recovering from what Esteban’s abduction and what his return have cost the family. Your brother is a man now with a wife and child on the way, a man who has helped others, a man who has proven his integrity and loyalty to the community.” Rosa smiled. “Not that he cares. In that you two are alike.”
“And I’m a woman who they believe has lost her integrity,” Crista said, realizing no one ever need know the truth unless…
“A thought most people probably have on their mind.”
“I have no desire to prove anything to anyone,” Crista said annoyed that people would condemn her for being abducted by the infamous Diablo.
“And you don’t have to, but do you truly want lies spread about you? Or do you want to stand proud,” —she grinned— “and make them eat their words?”
“What are you doing here? I told you I would get you fresh picked oranges. You should have waited for me,” Esteban scolded his wife as he approached her.
Crista saw the worry on his face, but it was the love in his eyes when he looked at his wife and the love in Rosa’s eyes when she looked upon him that had her envious. She wished she had seen that in Diablo’s eyes, but rarely could anything be seen in his dark eyes.
Rosa stretched her hand out to her husband and he hurried to take it and help her to her feet, his arm going around her waist.
“Our child enjoys the walk as much as the orange,” Rosa said, patting her stomach.
Esteban splayed his hand over her rounded stomach and smiled, feeling him move. “He agrees with you.”
Crista felt tears rush to her eyes. She was truly happy for her brother, but she couldn’t remain here and watch this loving moment between them. It made her heart ache for Diablo and for what she would never have with him.
She stood and took quick steps away.
“Crista, stay and walk with us,” Rosa offered.
She shook her head, not daring to turn around and show her tears. “No, I have things to do.”
“They can wait,” Esteban said. “Spend time with us.”
She shook her head and went to hurry her steps.
“Crista!”
She halted in her steps and shut her eyes against the flood of tears rushing out, her brother’s strong command sounding similar to Diablo’s.
“Don’t run away, little one,” Esteban said with a tender tone.
She bravely turned, tired of hiding her pain and hurt, and let her tears fall. “I can’t do this right now, Esteban.”
Rosa was about to urge her husband to go to his sister, but it wasn’t necessary, his arm fell away from her waist and he went to her. Rosa felt tears tickle at her eyes, proud of her husband and heartbroken for her sister-in-law.
“Don’t,” Crista warned, her hand going up to ward him off.
Esteban paid her word or gesture no mind. He took his sister in his arms and hugged her tight.
“I wish I could wipe the terrible memories from your mind and take away your pain, but I can’t. The only thing I can do is let you know that I’m proud of you. It took enormous strength and courage, few have, to survive your ordeal. It will take time to heal and forget.”
“I’ll never forget,” she said tears streaming down her face. I don’t want to.
She buried her face against his chest, relishing her brother’s arms around her and his caring words.
Esteban held her close. “I love you, little one, and I will never let anything happen to you again. I will see you kept safe.”
No one in her family had told her that they loved her since she had arrived here—until now. And it warmed her heart to finally hear it.
She raised her head. “I love you too, Esteban. I thought and prayed for you often through the years—and I missed you terribly.”
“And I you, but you are finally home—home with your loving family,” Esteban said.
If things were different that would be enough, but things were far from what they should be.
“Now come walk with Rosa and me and tell us about your time in Spain,” Esteban said, stepping away from her, though not before taking her hand so that she couldn’t run away.
“Another time,” Crista said with a forced smile, wishing she could tell him the truth about her time in Spain. “I must get ready for my guests today.”
Crista left them, wiping away the remnants of her tears as she approached the house. She was on her way upstairs to her room when she caught the sound of her parents’ voices coming from one of the rooms. She followed the faint sound to find it came from her father’s study, the door slightly ajar. She shouldn’t listen, but she had heard her name mentioned and she was curious as to what they discussed about her.
“How many times must I remind you that she’s been through a horrible ordeal?” her father said.
“You don’t have to remind me. My heart pains me every day at the thought of what she must have endured,” her mother said. “But she is home now and the more she hides the more people will believe she has something to hide, the more people will think her ashamed. It was not easy getting Don Cabeza and Don Bolanos to give permission for their daughters to accept a lunch invitation here. I had to nearly beg Dona Teresa and Dona Galena to bring their daughters to meet Crista and they in turn practically had to beg their husbands to allow it.”
“Crista needs time to heal,” her father said.
“She has no time. There are several soirees planned over the next few weeks and Crista hasn’t received a single invitation. If today does not go well, Sofia Cabeza and Ana Bolanos will run their tongues and Crista will not be welcomed anywhere. Do you truly want your daughter shunned by all our friends for something that wasn’t her fault?”
Silence settled in the room.
“She’s been through enough, Alejandro.”
Was her mother choking back tears? Crista strained to hear.
“It broke my heart to send my only daughter away to keep her safe only to have her return home and have my worst nightmare come true. I won’t see her maligned when she did nothing wrong. I want Crista to have a good, happy life with a husband who treats her well, and I intend to find her a good, decent husband who will protect her and keep her safe. I failed her once, Alejandro, I can’t fail her again.”
Her mother’s sobs tore at Crista’s heart and brought tears to her eyes. Her mother had sacrificed all those years to keep her safe and now she was fighting to make sure Crista had a good life. Her mother did love her. Crista only wished she would show it, that she would take her in her arms and hug her tight as she had done before handing her over to the woman on the ship, this time never letting her go.
“You didn’t fail our daughter. You did what was best for her as you do now. I see your point and I agree. I’m sure Crista will do well with her guests. The nuns assured you she was properly trained and she will make you proud today,” her father said. “And if she isn’t invited to any of the soirees, then we’ll have one of our own.”
“And no one will attend,” her mother said.
“They will if I can get the new hacienda owner to attend.”
“Could you?” her mother asked with excitement. “He’s caused quite a stir among all the eligible, young women since his arrival four days ago. I hear he is handsome and wealthy. How else could he have afforded the Edgardo hacienda. They all have their sights set on him. I heard he hasn’t accepted any invitations yet. If we could be the first to have him at a party, no one would refuse our invitation.”
“It’s no longer the Edgardo hacienda. It’s now the Navarro hacienda and Esteban and I will be meeting with him tomorrow. Esteban reached out to him and he extended an invitation. It’s only proper that he does so since our lands border each other’s.”
“Good. Good. Then you’ll invite him to a party. We’ll discuss the details tonight and I’ll make mention of it to the women today and hint that he may be a guest.”
“I can’t promise anything, Valerianna,” Alejandro cautioned.
“He is new here and will want to meet people and make himself known. What better way than to attend a local soiree. I’m so excited. I must go make sure Crista is presentable for our guests. Thank you, my dear, you always make me feel better about things.”
Crista hurried away from the door, so as not to be caught listening. She hurried around a corner, then turned and headed back where she’d come from and met her mother coming out of the study. By her eyes that popped wide, Crista knew she didn’t approve of her attire.
“Madre, I was looking for you. I was hoping you’d help me pick something suitable to wear for our guests.”
Valerianna’s face lit with a smile. “I’d love to, Crista.”