“Mrs. Bello! Shelly! I’m so happy you’re here!” Aubrey walked toward them across the banquet hall. Her red dress matched the decor. A woman with short curly hair, taller but with similar eyes, followed behind Aubrey. “This is my sister Nina.” So this was the famous world-class chef Aubrey had mentioned was coming to New York for the holidays.
“Happy to meet you.” Mrs. Bello pulled Nina in and kissed each of her cheeks. Then Nonna held her back at arm’s length and examined her. “You’re a tall one. A lot like your sister, who talks about you all the time. Such a good aunt, such a great cook.”
Nina’s smile beamed. “Thank you, Mrs. Bello.” Her gaze turned to Shelly. “And you’re Shelly, the one who grew up with the brothers?”
“That would be me.”
“Tough gig, being the only girl around these guys.”
“Plus her brother, my Vinnie, who might as well have been a fifth Travati. So it was all of the boys and Shelly.”
“Wow”—Nina lifted both eyebrows—“and you survived.”
“Just barely,” Shelly said. Nina turned back to Nonna to ask her another question, and Shelly let her gaze wander the room, which had transformed into a winter wonderland. She’d been transported to Santa’s workshop. The children hadn’t arrived yet, but all the staff were dressed as elves. Centerpieces of teddy bears, one for every child, sat in the middle of each table. At the front of the room Santa’s sleigh occupied center stage, with a gargantuan bag filled to the brim with presents in the back. Wait staff scurried around prepping tables and filling water.
Shelly and Nonna followed Aubrey to their table, Nina at her side.
“How’d you dodge the elf costume?” Shelly asked Nina.
“I just refused. Told her I’d go to Tahiti with friends for Christmas if she made me wear it. Seemed to work.”
Across the room Gwen, in a dark green dress and black heels, directed an elf toward the Christmas tree.
“Here we are,” Aubrey said. The table was near the front of the room, right beside the stage. “The boys won’t be here for another half hour, but they all promised to attend and to be on time.”
Shelly scanned the reindeer-shaped name cards at each place setting to find her seat, just to the left of the one Nina gestured Nonna toward.
“Believe that when I see it.” Nina pulled out Nonna’s chair. “Those four are consumed with work.”
“This from you? The lady who works, last I counted, a full sixteen hours a day?” Aubrey teased her sister.
“It’s a restaurant. Long hours come with the territory.”
Nonna sat, and Shelly set her purse on her own chair. She glanced at the place card at the seat to her other side.
Anthony Travati.
Her heart leapt, and tingles trailed through her body. Memories of the previous night flitted through her mind, turning her core to molten heat. Last night Anthony had filled her with pleasure, and then again in the darkness this morning, when he’d awakened her with a kiss and a caress down her thigh. They’d pleased each other a bit more in the early morning hours, until the sun crept over the horizon and she’d scurried up the stairs to her bedroom before Nonna got up for the day.
Being with Anthony, kissing Anthony, his hands on her body, was everything she had remembered. She wanted more, she wanted all of him. This morning, when she’d awakened beside him, his defenses were down. The wall he’d built around his heart had cracked and he was the same guy she remembered from the neighborhood. The guy she’d fallen for, the guy she’d loved…the guy she’d left.
Icy fear trickled through her heart. Who would Anthony be when he arrived at the Travati Teddy Bear Luncheon? Would he be the heartless King of Cold, or the man with the warm heart and the long kisses? All his brothers were meant to be here, as well as Aubrey, her sister, and Max. Would Anthony go back to being stiff and stoic, the man who seemed unfeeling and unloving?
She didn’t like the cold version of Anthony. She preferred the guy she’d fallen in love with, the guy he’d been this morning, the guy who smiled, soft and kind and full of joy and love.
The man filled with warmth was her Anthony, her Tony.
“Shelly, can we get your grandmother anything?” Gwen, with her perfect hair, perfect makeup, and the just-right dress, stood beside Shelly. This woman was too together. Not a flaw to be found. Not only was she damn near perfect, but she wasn’t condescending or patronizing either. Couldn’t she at least have a pimple on her nose?
“I think we’re fine for now. We’ve got water and there will be cookies. Nonna loves cookies.”
“I do love cookies,” Nonna echoed.
Gwen pressed her fingertips to the earpiece of the headset she wore. “Kids in three minutes. In fact, I think I hear the pounding of little feet now.”
Shelly turned toward the main doors just as they burst open. One hundred children, aged six, seven, and eight, flew into the room. The hall went from nearly silent to deafening instantly. Parents trailed behind, but no one could keep up with the wound-for-sound noise machine of kids who scattered gleefully.
“Wow, they’re excited.” Shelly blinked.
Aubrey rubbed her belly. “Most of the families come all three years so that the kids can really feel like this is their party.” Her gaze met Shelly’s eyes, and a soft smile curved over her lips. “The event was originally Anthony’s idea.”
Shelly’s heart swelled and warm pride burst through her body. Of course this event had been Anthony’s idea. He’d always been the brother who wanted to marry, to have a family, to remain close to his community. At his core Anthony was the warm guy, not a cold businessman.
“The guys better get here.” Aubrey glanced at her phone. “Santa arrives in thirty minutes, and then we’re really underway.”
A server placed a cup of coffee and a plate of cookies in front of Nonna.
“I’m set, girls. I can see everything from here. I’ve got my coffee and my cookies. Go do what you do. I’ll flag one of you down if I need anything.”
Shelly looked at Aubrey. “How can I help?”
Aubrey turned toward the cookie-decorating station.
“I’m going to get some of the kids from the cookie station and bring them over to where they can make their own Christmas stocking. Could you go over there with Nina and the volunteers, just to make certain no one gets overwhelmed?”
“You got it.” Shelly wove through the room. Kids darted and dodged around tables and grownups, ignoring adult after adult who asked them to please walk and use inside voices.
Shelly didn’t bother telling them to slow down. Today was too close to Christmas for the children to contain their exuberance. She’d been the same type of kid; Santa had meant everything to her. Christmas was a perfect moment each year filled with family and joy and food and presents. The thought sparked a long buried memory. Vinnie had always gotten her the best gifts, the things she wanted so badly that year but nobody else seemed to notice she liked.
Damn, Christmas without Vinnie.
Her throat closed up. She breathed deep and forced back the prickle in her eyes, the widening pit in her gut. This year was almost like her first Christmas without her brother, because the one after he’d died she’d been flying high, partying on some rich guy’s boat off the coast of Texas. Times had still been good then. Rolling with rich men, high-class drugs, high-class dates, all before she got really bad, really dirty, and had been willing to do nearly anything for the hits that she needed.
Too many memories. A shiver raced down her spine. She closed her eyes. Nope, she was not doing this now, not reliving the past, not beating herself up, staying here and in the now.
“You look beautiful.”
A warmth filled her body and her eyelids opened. Anthony’s voice caressed her skin. Every muscle in her body tensed with desire.
She tilted her head and turned. Her eyes drifted from his shoes up and over his calves, his well-muscled thighs, his belly, up past his tie to his lips, those lips that last night had forced her to say his name, begging for release. Finally, she looked into his molten brown eyes, filled with a rough-edged desire she knew he barely contained. He moved closer and leaned toward her, his lips brushing her hair. “Let’s leave and go to my place.”
Her heart beat fast. Her mouth curved into a smile. “Absolutely not. This is your event. I promised to help, and you need to be here.”
“My event? Who told you that?”
“Your sister-in-law.”
A hint of concern shot through Anthony’s eyes. Perhaps even remorse? Shelly was glad to see it. Anthony had finally realized that family meant as much to him now as it had when they’d been younger and a couple and very much in love. That realization was the first step in repairing the relationships he had damaged. His gaze left hers to look around the room.
“Looks good, doesn’t it?” she asked.
“Like chaos,” he said. “But a happy chaos.”
“I’ve been tasked with assisting at the Christmas stocking table. Why don’t you come and help, at least until Santa arrives?”
Anthony nodded. He reached out and grasped her fingertips. Yes, there he was, the Anthony she remembered, the one she loved, the guy with the big heart who loved family and children and Christmas.
“I can’t think of anything else I’d rather do.”
*
Happy chaos was the correct term for this afternoon. Anthony stood beside Shelly, watching as kids streamed around the room in a euphoric frenzy. This was Christmas, and the noise and activity and absolute joy was exactly the way this event was meant to be. Yes. Yes, he had been the one to think of the Teddy Bear Luncheon as a way to make certain some at-risk kids got to celebrate the holiday. The first year, they’d had about twenty kids. But Travati Teddy Bear Luncheon grew year after year, and well, this year? The party was beyond what he could have hoped for or imagined. For that, Anthony had his sister-in-law to thank.
Anthony’s gaze landed on Aubrey, in her red dress, with her round belly. She stood beside a redhead in a green dress who looked vaguely familiar. Jen? Gwen? The party planner they’d used a couple times in the past and Aubrey had hired to help her with the event. Throughout the planning stages, Aubrey had tried to include him. She sent him emails and texts about venue and menu and agenda and timing, communications to which he’d responded with abrupt, one-word answers.
Most unkind.
But Aubrey had run with this event, exceeding not only his expectations for this year, but what he imagined this annual charity could provide. The Christmas carols booming from the speakers stopped, and then started up again with familiar lyrics: “You better watch out, you better not cry!” A huge cheer erupted. The children who’d attended in the past knew this song meant Santa was close. They scrambled toward the tables, looking for their parents and their names on the place cards. The room settled surprisingly quickly for a pack of kids amped up on Christmas cheer. “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town” ended, and the next song, “Up on the Housetop” started. The kids jumped up at their chairs. A roar of excitement trembled through the room.
Aubrey stepped onto the stage. Her eyes met Anthony’s, and she waved for him to come forward while the holiday tune still played. He nodded and walked toward the stage.
Once beside her, he leaned down to speak in her ear over the sound of the music. “You did an amazing job, Aubrey. Thank you.”
She turned her face to his. In that moment, he knew how deeply his thanks registered with her. Maybe it was the pregnancy, but her bottom lip quivered and her eyes filled with tears.
“Anthony, that means so much to me.” A trembling smile curved across her face.
She’d been doing all this not only for Justin, and not only for the Travati Charitable Foundation. She’d been doing this for him, in the hope that he’d notice and maybe let her finally be a part of his family.
“Hey, there’s no crying in Christmas,” he said, trying to make light of the situation. He still needed to apologize, and definitely would, but now, standing at the front of a room full of a hundred screaming early grade schoolers, wasn’t the optimal time. She sniffled, touching her fingertips to the corners of her eyes.
“I think you should have the honor of introducing the star,” Anthony said, gesturing toward the microphone she held.
“I think we should do it together.”
Anthony nodded.
The music faded and Aubrey lifted the microphone. “Okay, we have a special visitor here today, my favorite elf in the entire world, who has some presents for all of you!” A giant smile spread across her face as she handed the mic to Anthony.
He looked around the room, picking up where she had left off. “Let’s all give a big hello to…”
“Santa Claus!” he and Aubrey finished together. The entire roomful of crazy kids yelled Santa Claus in unison with them.
Warmth flooded through Anthony. How could anyone be unhappy in the presence of such amazing joy? The kids, these underprivileged kids who might not know much of a Christmas without this event, vibrated with excitement. He looked across the stage to watch the entrance of the star of the show, Saint Nick, the guy who made everyone’s Christmas dreams come true—
“Wait? Is that—?” Anthony squinted. The familiar gait, the distinctive eyes… “Did you get Justin to be Santa this year?”
“Uh-huh. And next year is Leo, then you, and then Devon.”
Anthony’s jaw dropped open and a laugh burst from his lips. “I can’t believe you managed that. Justin?” He slipped his phone from his pocket. He had to get a picture for posterity, and to unmercifully tease his oldest brother. He snapped a shot as the first child, a little boy in a red sweater and jeans, walked up the steps and sat on Santa’s lap. After a whispered exchange, a smile, and a picture, the boy took his present and returned to his mother, who sat beaming at a table near the back of the room.
“Amazing, Aubrey, absolutely amazing. I could barely get my brothers to even come when we did this before. Now you’ve managed to co-opt them?”
“Take a look behind the sled.”
Devon stood there in an elf costume, complete with fake ears and pointy shoes, handing presents to Santa. Anthony snickered. “That’s more embarrassing than being Santa.”
“Uh-huh. I wanted to make you an elf, but Devon got the job this year.” She smiled sweetly at him. He didn’t deserve her forgiveness, or her friendship. But he would make it his mission moving forward to be sure that he did, because Aubrey loved Justin. He guessed that Aubrey loved all the Travati brothers, even the one who had acted like he didn’t want to be loved.
“I wanted to do this more privately, and I can. I can go on at great length if you’d like, but Aubrey, I owe you an apology.” His gaze flicked toward Shelly, who sat beside Mrs. Bello. Both women wore giant smiles on their faces. “In fact, I probably owe you a hundred apologies, at least.” He looked into Aubrey’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I’ve been very…” He shook his head. Damn, as much as he wanted to apologize and make things right, the words were hard to get out. “I’ve been awful since the day you arrived, and I shouldn’t have been. I was wrong and I’m sorry. I’ll do whatever needs to be done to make this right with you and with Max.”
“And with Justin?” Aubrey asked.
Of course. The love of her life, Anthony’s brother. Aubrey wanted the family to be right, the brothers to be close, their family to be whole.
“I’ll try,” Anthony sighed. “It won’t be easy.”
“Most things worth having aren’t.”
His eyes strayed back toward Shelly, who now looked at him with her head tilted and a smile on her face. “No, no, they’re not.”
“I really like her,” Aubrey said softly, her tone almost asking for permission. “Meeting her helps me to understand.”
Anthony’s brows tightened.
“Why this was hard for you. Why accepting me and Max and Justin was difficult. You and Shelly love each other, and for whatever reason…I mean, I don’t know why you weren’t together for a while, but from the stories I’ve heard and from what I’ve seen, you were meant to be. Still are.”
Anthony nodded. He put his arm around Aubrey and gave her a gentle squeeze. “I’ve always loved Shelly, even when I didn’t want to.”
Aubrey sighed. “That’s how love works. We don’t choose love, love chooses us. Kind of inconvenient sometimes.”
Completely inconvenient and unkind and unfair and difficult and soul-destroying when love chose you and you chose love, but then awful things happened to the person who received all that love. Yes, love could be inconvenient, but he hoped to hell that this time, this Christmas, his love for Shelly wouldn’t be heartbreaking as well.