Chapter Six

After Memorial Day weekend, the restaurant was busy, but the work was not all that hard. Seawood was actually off the beaten track. Most people coming south from San Francisco were on their way to Carmel, the ones going north heading up into redwood country. Only the most leisurely of travelers, not in a hurry to get anywhere particular, took the off-ramp from the freeway and discovered The Seawind.

Val’s hours gave her lots of quality time with Megan. As they went into summer, the long, lovely days were perfect beach weather. She’d pack a basket of snacks, a thermos of lemonade, then the two of them would walk down to the little inlet they’d begun to call their “secret cove.” There they would spread out a blanket and Megan would play happily in the sand, building roads, tunnels and castles, running into the shallow water, then carrying back her small bucket of water. Sometimes, Val brought a magazine or a paperback to read, but mostly she would watch Megan.

Children are marvelous, she thought. How quickly they adjust to new circumstances. Megan seemed content and secure. All Val had told her was that Kevin had to be away for a while. That seemed to satisfy her. She didn’t seem to miss him and rarely mentioned her father except in her nighttime prayers. To Val, that seemed a shame, but that’s the way Kevin had wanted it. Megan’s precious days of early childhood were something that could never be replaced. Even as Val watched her, she was changing from day to day. This time was slipping away just as Megan’s sand castles were washed away in the surf. And Kevin was missing them.

By summer, the other three cottages were sometimes rented for weekends. One family came for a week. Most of the time they were empty. Better accommodations for vacationers could be found in other places nearby. But as far as Val could tell, the cottage at the far end, the one she’d seen smoke coming from, remained unoccupied. She never explored that part of the beach. It would have meant passing by the other cottages, perhaps running into one of the renters. She still avoided even the briefest conversation with anyone other than the people at work.

As the weeks went by, Val began to lose hope that Kevin would write. She continued her weekly letter to him although she was finding it harder to fill more than a page. There was less and less to say. There was no more heartbroken pleading, no declarations that she disagreed with his decision. Little by little her spark of faith began to flicker and go out.

On the surface, their life seemed as smooth as the sea on a windless day. No one would ever have guessed the emotional turmoil that was always just under the surface. Megan was happy and as friendly as a little puppy. She soon became the restaurant’s pet. The other waitresses called her their mascot while the chef was always sending treats home for her, little lemon tarts or iced petits fours. The McDermotts doted on her almost as if she were one of their grandchildren. Tom always wanted Val to bring her by before she took her to the sitter’s. Both McDermotts were so kind Val began to feel guilty she hadn’t told them the truth about Kevin. What would they say if they knew she was living a lie?

The atmosphere at The Seawinds was so friendly, the food so delicious and the staff trained to treat customers like visiting royalty that the tips were more than generous. Val was able to stash away a nice nest egg that she hoped would tide her over the months when the restaurant was closed for the season. She hoped she could find some other temporary job; even a part-time position would help. She wasn’t looking that far ahead yet, but she knew Seawinds would close in November. The McDermotts went to Mexico for several months until the restaurant reopened in the spring.

Because she was busy with work and had gradually given up any hope of hearing from Kevin, Val was totally unprepared for what happened toward the end of August. Another letter came from the prison chaplain. Almost afraid to open it, Val finally read it with mixed feelings. The chaplain said Kevin seemed to be making some progress toward adjustment but that he continued to find him uncommunicative and still refusing to discuss anything personal. Kevin had passed the six-month probationary period and was now allowed to have visitors. However, he advised Val not to come unless Kevin himself wrote and requested it.

Val read the letter through twice, then once again more slowly, letting the impact of each word sift through the jumbled thoughts crowding into her head. If she waited until Kevin wrote and asked—that might be never! She knew how stubborn Kevin could be. Even if he wanted her, Val felt sure he would not write and ask.

The letter had come just before Val left for work. She put it in her apron pocket where it lay like a burning coal all during her shift. Later, when she got home, she read the letter again. Finally, she decided she had to go see him. Maybe when he saw her he would realize what a mistake it was to cut himself off like this and insist that they divorce.

But how was she to get some time off to travel the considerable distance to the state prison? And how would she explain it to the McDermotts? Val knew she could trade hours with one or two of the other waitresses, but it was the peak of the season. The Seawinds was always filled with hungry customers. It would be like that until after Labor Day, some of the staff warned. If she was going, she would need at least two full days off. How could she ask without telling Mrs. McDermott the reason?

It was Kevin’s day in court all over again. Val tried to control her nervousness as she lingered at the end of the shift, waiting for an opportunity to speak to Eileen McDermott. The dinner crowd had gone, the busboys were bundling up tablecloths, stacking up plates, and there was a clatter of trays and murmur of voices as they talked and joked with each other. Mrs. McDermott was behind the cash register. Val watched for the right moment to approach her.

“May I talk to you privately for a few minutes?” she asked in a low voice.

“Sure, Val, what can I do for you?” Mrs. McDermott smiled.

Val couldn’t help wondering how long the smile would last when she knew that Val’s reason for wanting time off was to visit her husband in prison. She glanced uneasily around, then whispered, “Do you think we could go into your office. I don’t want to be overheard.”

Mrs. McDermott looked puzzled, but she agreed at once. “Of course.” She led the way into her small, cozy office behind the dining room. She sat down on one of the two chintz-covered armchairs and gestured to Val to take the other one. “Now, Val, what’s on your mind? You look mighty serious. I hope you’re not going to tell me you’re quitting?” She gave Val a wary look.

“No, not at all, Mrs. McDermott. I love it here, I like my job. It’s just—I need some time off, but first, there’s something I should have told you in the beginning.”

Telling the facts turned out to be a great deal easier than Val had anticipated. Eileen McDermott listened with a thoughtful expression. Val’s voice rose and fell and became breathless as she poured out the whole awful story. Tears came perilously close and she struggled to hold them back. When she finished, she saw only sympathy and concern in the older woman’s eyes. Instead of being shocked or judgmental, she just gently scolded Val for thinking she wouldn’t understand.

“Of course you can take the time off, Val, and I think you should go.”

Val couldn’t bring herself to tell her that Kevin didn’t want to see her, that he might even refuse to see her once she got there. She was too relieved that her employer had been so understanding and there would be no problem about taking time off. Not only that, but Mrs. McDermott insisted Val leave Megan with them and save baby-sitting fees.

“You know Tom will be tickled to death to have her. Now, it’s settled. You go ahead and make your plans.”

The night before Val was to leave, she nearly lost her nerve. It had been six months since that dreadful day in the bare little room in the courthouse when Kevin had brutally shaken off her embrace, violently demanded she get a divorce. She had no idea how he would react when she showed up at the prison. Well, ready or not, it was a chance she’d have to take. In her heart, she felt it was the right thing to do. Give them both another chance.

Val studied herself in the mirror. Kevin would find her changed. She had lost at least five pounds, which, on her small frame, made her look almost thin. She had stopped highlighting her hair, letting it return to its natural brown color. Not able to afford the expensive styling she used to get, she had cut it herself. Very short. With almost daily dips in the ocean before she went to work, this length was much easier. But would Kev like it?

What should she wear for this visit? She hadn’t worn anything but her uniform, and jeans or shorts or a bathing suit for months. Kev had always been highly critical of her appearance, telling her what he liked and what he didn’t like in no uncertain terms. She wanted to look her best no matter what. It would be especially important when he saw her for the first time in all these months. After trying on first one thing and then the next, she finally decided on a blue, washed-silk shirtwaist dress. It was Kev’s favorite color and wouldn’t wrinkle badly in her small suitcase.

Val stopped fussing over her own appearance long enough to get Megan packed up and the next morning, she took her to the McDermotts. Megan was thrilled with the novelty of staying over with the McDermotts. After Val kissed her goodbye, she went happily hand in hand with Tom down to his boat.

“Don’t worry, she’ll be fine,” Eileen assured her and wished her a good trip. Val thanked her again, then hurried off to where the northbound bus stopped.