There are fourteen definitions derived from this story explained in the glossary of this book.
COWBOY VOCABULARY MISCONCEPTIONS
This piece has an agricultural-cowboy slant. However, I am aware that urban people (Gentiles, I call them) read it as well. So when I lapse into my “cowboy vocabulary,” I appreciate that some of my meanings could be unclear. Listed are some common misconceptions:
Statement: “My whole flock has keds.”
Misinterpretation: Sheep are now endorsing tennis shoes.
Statement: “I’m looking to buy some replacement heifers, but I want only polled cattle.”
Misinterpretation: His cows are being interviewed by George Gallup.
Statement: “I’m going to a gaited horse show.”
Misinterpretation: A horse performance being held in an exclusive residential area.
Statement: “I work in a hog confinement facility.”
Misinterpretation: She teaches classes in the campus jail at University of Arkansas.
Statement: “I prefer the Tarentaise over the Piedmontese.”
Misinterpretation: He is picky about cheese.
Statement: “They’ve had a lot of blowouts at the turkey farm this year.”
Misinterpretation: Sounds like they better change tire dealers.
Statement: “This mule is just a little owly.”
Misinterpretation: His ears stick up? He’s wise beyond his species limitation? No, wait, he looks like Benjamin Franklin or Wilford Brimley?
Statement: “Do you know where I could get a bosal, romal, and some tapaderas?”
Misinterpretation: I’d suggest someplace that served Mexican food.
Statement: “I heard that Speed Williams and Rich Skelton got one down in five flat.”
Misinterpretation: Must be a couple of quick anesthesiologists.
Statement: “I heard Texas has now gotten Brucellosis free.”
Misinterpretation: I assume Bruce, who is of Greek origin, finally got a good lawyer.
Statement: “The Beef Checkoff has gone up to a dollar.”
Misinterpretation: Not a bad price for a Russian sandwich. I know the Veal Solzhenitsyn and the Chicken Zhivago are twice that much.
Statement: “You don’t have to be a genius to see the team pulls to the left.”
Misinterpretation: Whoever they are, they were not satisfied with the election results.
Statement: “I believe that Debouillet has blue bag.”
Misinterpretation: She’s taken to wearing French fashion accessories.
Statement: “That horse won’t break out of a canter.”
Misinterpretation: Then that’s what I’d keep him in. Beats tyin’ him to a post.
Statement: “She’s wormed, fresh offa wheat grass, and showin’ a little ear.”
Misinterpretation: A modest stripper on an organic diet has swallowed her chewing tobacco.
Statement: “You can stick a fork in me.”
Correct interpretation: He’s done.