COYOTE COWBOY OBSERVATIONS

→ There’s always time to pet your dog.

→ If a feller doesn’t trim his own horse’s feet, he’s got too many horses or not enough time.

→ Some people do what they’ve gotta do to live where they wanna live. Others live where they have to live to be what they want to be.

→ If the reader can’t understand what the poet is tryin’ to say, it’s not the reader’s fault.

→ Sometimes gentle pressure is better than jerkin’ as hard as you can. Kinda like pickin’ up a bull’s nose.

→ The consultant’s motto: You can’t have all your hands in one pocket.

→ People like David Duke and Louis Farrakhan are head and tail of the same bad penny.

→ I like a woman that smells like barbecue sauce.

→ Some say, “You are what you eat.” I say, “You are where you walk. Wipe your feet.”

→ I observed to a man in New York that I was surprised that they had so many cows and so much farming. He said, “Son, this is where it started.”

→ The only thing I can’t do in excess is moderation.

→ It’s hard bein’ a cowboy. If a man gets run over by a truck, he gets sympathy. If he gets run over by a horse, they laugh.

→ You know you had a bad weekend when you wake up Sunday morning and it’s Thanksgiving Day.

→ A bank examiner is someone who comes in after the battle and shoots the wounded.

→ If a person has an excuse to be less than he can be, he probably will.

→ Wine doesn’t give me a headache. Winos do.

→ I felt sorry for myself when I had no hat, till I met a man who had no . . . Wait a minute, that’s not right.

→ Vet prognosis: Those that linger have a better chance than those that die right away.

→ Whoever named the Dumb Friends League has dang sure punched a few cows.

→ If you are not generous when you can afford to be, it marks you as a small person. That is not the same as being generous with somebody else’s money. That’s merely being cheap.