“Timed event” rodeo cowboys compete in the roping and bulldogging events. They must pull a horse trailer from rodeo to rodeo in order to compete. It takes more effort, but they consider themselves the rodeo elite. The bronc riders and bullriders are a more low-maintenance group and are not really sure what ropers do for fun.

TIMED EVENT MAN

In the world of rodeo, cowboys usually fall into one of two categories: rough stock riders or timed event men. Each looks on the other with suspicion. Bronc riders can’t imagine havin’ to drag a horse and trailer all over the country, and ropers think bull riding is uncivilized!

Jack and Russell entered the punkin roller at Bokchito, Oklahoma. They were both sixteen and invincible! On arrival, they discovered a mix-up. Jack was entered in the bareback and Russell in the calf roping. Jack complained, “I told Mr. Ward to put me in the calf ropin’ and Russell was ridin’ bares! Besides, Russell’s bought a brand-new riggin’!” Which of course he had! Not only that, Russell had a new set of custom-made bronc spurs and had just attended Mel Autry’s rodeo school!

The secretary glared at him and growled, “Well, Jack, you better see if it fits your hand, ’cause I ain’t changin’ the order!”

They stomped around cussing the contractor, the secretary, their luck, and each other’s event. But as the eight-track played the national anthem, Jack was down in the chute tryin’ to pound his left hand into Russell’s right-hand riggin’!

Minnie Mouse was an eight-hundred-pound grulla mare. Jack made some comment about stick horses and Shetlands. ’Bout not wantin’ to hurt her. Russell ignored him. Jack was sorta scratchin’ his spurs a little and thinkin’, By, gosh, this ain’t bad! I’m winnin’ the bareback! Easier than I thought.

At the quarter-mile pole, Minnie Mouse bogged her head, planted her front feet, and exploded in midair! By the time she lit on all fours again, Jack had both legs on the left side and was laid across her like a roll of carpet!

He couldn’t get his hand free! With all his weight stickin’ out like a wind vane on the starboard side, he began to drag the little mare right. From his vantage point on the wing tip, Jack could see the arena fence flashing by at eye level. He was stuck hard and fast and pulling her closer and closer. Big square ties and net wire began clickin’ by like a railroad bed.

Gosh, he thought, I hope it’s cheap wire. . . .

He needn’t have worried. He hit a tie! The collision was so calamitous it knocked the mare down!

At the conclusion of this spectacular exhibition, the crowd applauded wildly. As Jack hobbled out the gate, a man in yellow boots and a bolo tie asked him where he was gonna be appearing next.

Standing in the parking lot after the rodeo, Jack observed what a sorry job Russell had done in the calf roping.

Russell studied his pardner. Jack’s shirt flapped in tatters on his right shoulder. The off side of his head looked like somebody had hit him with a fourteen-inch rasp and his arms no longer hung symmetrically. Russell figgered the eyebrow would grow back.

“Ya know,” said Russell, “I never could get too excited about ropin’ calves but after seein’ you ride, I might switch. Wanna buy a riggin’? Only been used once.”