FIFTY WAYS TO FOOL YER BANKER

There must be fifty ways to fool yer banker. I woulda made the loan payment but . . .

The cow I was countin’ on had a heifer calf.

The racehorse I bought missed the turn.

The price of hogs went up, so I bought more.

The price of hogs went down, so I bought more.

The Miracle Fence business tapered off.

I shot the wrong cow.

Amway wasn’t all they told me it was.

My gold mine petered out.

Ma bought a new pair of overshoes.

My modeling contract was canceled.

Somebody stole my calender.

The weather was too hot (13) cold (14) dry (15) wet.

My dog ran off to the neighbors.

I lost my calculator.

My daughter got married (19) pregnant.

It was you or my tire man (21) vet (22) bookie.

I overslept.

I had a vision that said, “Wait!”

You looked like you didn’t need it right away.

I paid up at the Elks Club instead.

I lost my wallet (28) your address (29) my mind.

Avon came calling.

I had a flat (32) mental block (33) baby.

The cat needed an operation.

I joined the marines (36) foreign legion (37) hippie commune (38) Baptist Church.

I spent it on sympathy cards to my other creditors.

I invested in racing greyhounds.

I gave at the office.

They only let me give blood once a week.

I renewed my subscription to Livestock Weekly.

I bought a lamb at the 4-H sale.

I repainted the FARM FOR SALE sign.

My horse went lame.

My pickup was repossessed.

My tractor caught on fire.

My topsoil blew away.

My dreams went up in smoke.