Five

He hadn’t been ready to tell her goodbye tonight. The whole time he’d cruised down the driveway he’d watched her house in the rearview mirror, fighting the urge to turn around.

If he let himself, Tony could envision the scene clearly. He’d stop sharply, his tires spewing dirt and gravel as he spun around and gunned his engine. When he pulled up at her back porch, she’d be there throwing open the door, and she’d run to him just as he stepped out of the truck. He’d pick her up in his arms and carry her back into her house, right up to her bedroom. They wouldn’t say a word to each other; they wouldn’t need to. They’d simply make love. And it would be amazing.

A nice image, he had to admit. But one that wouldn’t happen.

Instead, he drove the pickup onto the county road toward his own ranch.

He couldn’t help but feel tense, and not just sexually. He’d been looking forward to this night with Lindsay, and to say it hadn’t ended the way he’d hoped would be an understatement. But she was right. They had no future. And Lindsay wasn’t the type of woman to have an affair without a future.

And she was too serious, just as she said.

Not to mention the whole business with her wanting to see his water pumps. Damn, she still didn’t believe that he hadn’t installed bigger pumps to steal her water. She wanted to see it with her own two eyes. Because he was a Milan, no doubt, and Milans never told the truth!

He banged the palm of his hand on the steering wheel. He needed to forget her.

As he drove along the darkened road, he turned on the radio, but the guy who sang—some guy who’d won one of those ubiquitous TV reality shows—strummed a soulful guitar and sang about the cute filly he was pining for. Tony didn’t want to hear it. He shut it off. He had enough of his own problems with his own cute filly. A spirited one, at that.

He had to let out a laugh at the thought of Lindsay knowing he had referred to her as a filly. She’d probably take out her shotgun and fill him with buckshot.

The drive home seemed endless, but by the time he pulled onto the long driveway up to his ranch house, he knew what he had to do. He had to forget everything about Lindsay Calhoun, starting with last Saturday night. From the moment he’d seen her in that red dress all the way to tonight. As sexy, as enticing, as appealing as Lindsay was, she wasn’t the woman for him. They could never be together. She was commitment with a capital C, and that was one thing he couldn’t—wouldn’t—ever be willing to give.

He entered the house and went up to bed, not even bothering to turn on a light.

She hadn’t bothered to turn on the light.

For some reason, that thought struck her as she woke up. She remembered running up to her room, in the dark, after Tony left, and throwing herself on the bed, sad and uncharacteristically near tears. She thought she’d never sleep tonight, but apparently she had.

She felt beside her and at her feet, but the dogs weren’t in their usual position. Then she remembered. She’d let them out when she got home and then forgotten about them. They’d probably gone over to the bunkhouse for the night.

She sat up, glancing at the clock on her bedside table to see it was after three in the morning. A long, sad howl sent chills down her spine and she ran to the window to look out. Another sad howl filled the night.

Moonlight splashed over open spaces and something moved. Chills ran down her spine again as she saw the wolf standing at the edge of a grove of trees. As she watched, it threw back its head and howled again.

She shivered. For the first time since being on the ranch, she felt alone and didn’t like it. She wished she had kept the dogs with her and hoped no one at the bunkhouse turned them out, because she didn’t want them tangling with a wolf. She also hoped no one at the bunkhouse got his gun. The men were good shots. If they wanted to kill the wolf, they would surely succeed. She grabbed her phone to call her foreman, thought about it and decided it would be ridiculous to wake him. When morning came, she would talk to Abe about the four-legged intruder.

Another lonely howl caused a fresh batch of shivers to crawl up her spine. Impulsively, telling herself she shouldn’t, she called the one person she thought of.

She felt silly when Tony answered, and she suddenly wished she hadn’t called him. But she’d awakened him and she had to explain why.

“Sorry, Tony. I know I woke you.”

“Lindsay? Are you okay?” he asked, in a surprisingly clear, alert voice.

“I’m fine, Tony.” Now that she had him on the phone she couldn’t seem to tell him about the wolf. What did she expect him to do about it?

“Okay then, darlin’, what’s on your mind at...3:17 a.m.?”

“I feel really silly now.”

“Lindsay, you didn’t call me in the middle of the night to tell me you feel silly.”

“The wolf/coyote/dog—except it looks like a wolf—is howling near my bedroom. I can see it and the animal sounds hurt.”

“All animals sound hurt when they howl. So? I know you’re a crack shot even with that big .45 you own. Take him out and go back to sleep.”

“A gunshot would wake everyone on the ranch and create an uproar. Anyway, I can’t kill him. Or her. He or she sounds pitiful and eerie, and for the first time since I’ve owned the ranch I don’t like being here alone.”

“I’m coming over.”

“No, Tony. I just wanted to hear your voice. Don’t get up and come over.”

“I can be there in a few minutes.”

“Stay in bed,” she said, hearing another long howl and looking at the animal standing half in the moonlight and half in shadow. “I feel sorry for it. It sounds hurt and lonesome.”

“I’ll be over in a flash. I can really take your mind off the wolf, howls or no howls.”

She smiled and sat back in the chair by the window. “You’re succeeding right now and you just stay home. We’ll both be better off.”

She didn’t want a repeat of the scene they’d endured only hours ago at her back door. Watching him walk away was hard enough then; she couldn’t go through seeing him—and losing him—again.

“That may be true for you, but if I come over, I would definitely be better off.”

Despite herself, she laughed softly. “You make me feel so much better. But I still think you should stay home.”

“Lindsay, I’m already pulling on my jeans.”

“Don’t. I really mean it. I feel better now and I can go back to sleep, and I know you can roll over and go to sleep the minute your head is on the pillow.” She refused to picture him taking off his jeans and getting back into bed, shirtless and sexy.

“Fine,” he said. “The guys will take care of the animal for you and, hereafter, you won’t have to listen to it howl again.”

“I don’t know why, but I feel sorry for it. Unless it kills some of the livestock, I’d hate for them to shoot it.”

“Well, this is a change. You’re usually pretty damn tough and I know you’ve shot plenty of wildlife.”

“Now how would you know that?”

“The guys talk. And I remember a few marksmanship competitions over the years. Come to think of it, you haven’t participated in any in a long time.”

“Nope. It doesn’t seem to matter any longer. When I first got the ranch, I felt I had to prove that I could handle running the place and a few other things. I don’t feel that way any longer.”

“I would think not. Half the ranchers around here call you about their animals.”

“Not really half, but a few have,” she said. She settled back in the chair to talk, forgetting about everything but the sound of his voice, soothing and smooth as it settled around her in the darkness. It was an hour later when they finally said goodbye and she went to bed. That’s when she realized the howls had stopped long ago, but she hadn’t actually noticed when, thanks to Tony.

As the next week passed, Lindsay tried to keep busy and struggled to stop thinking about Tony, but that was impossible. She heard nothing from him for eight more days, but, instead of forgetting about him—something she once could easily do—she thought about him constantly, to the point where she had been distracted at work.

It was Thursday, in the middle of a hot, dry afternoon, after she’d helped move steers to another pasture, when her phone rang and she saw it was Tony. She pulled her truck off the road into the shade of an oak and opened the windows.

“It’s Tony. I thought it was time to see if you want to come look at the pumps on my water wells.”

She was surprised, to say the least. Even though he’d offered, she’d never really expected him to have her over to his ranch—because she still figured he had installed new and bigger pumps. She glanced at her watch. “Give me about two hours and I’ll be there. Tell everyone I’m coming so they don’t send me away if they see me.”

“Nobody’s going to send you away and my foreman knows I was going to call you. Come on over. See you in two hours,” he said, and ended the connection.

She looked at her phone for seconds, as if she could see Tony. Was he up to some trickery to convince her that he still had his old pumps and had just dug deeper?

She would never tell Tony, but she had already started checking into having her wells dug deeper, and Tony had been right. If she went deeper, there was still water in the aquifer, and when the rains finally came, that depleted water would be replenished and everything would be like it was.

She had already told the men she was headed home, so she started her truck and drove back to her house to shower. She changed into washed jeans, boots and a short-sleeved blue cotton shirt. She knew Tony liked her hair down and not fastened, but she was back at home and she didn’t care to change her appearance, so she braided her hair and got her wide-brimmed black hat.

She hadn’t been to Tony’s ranch house even though she had seen pictures of it on the web, along with a map of his ranch land. As she approached, she looked at the sprawling two-story ranch house that appeared even larger than hers. A porch ran across the front and a wide circle drive joined a walk leading to the front porch.

Flower beds surrounded the house with rock and cactus gardens, plants well adapted to the drought that usually hit West Texas. As she approached, Tony crossed his porch, coming to meet her, his long legs covering the distance. His hair was combed and he had on a clean short-sleeved blue-and-red-plaid shirt, tucked into his jeans. She smiled, happy to see him again.

Tony opened the door of her truck and watched her step out.

“Oh, lady, you do look great,” he said, his gaze sweeping over her and making her tingle and momentarily forget why she was here.

“And hello to you. Thank you.”

“You’ve never been to my home, have you?”

“Nope, I haven’t. And you haven’t been in mine, yet. Not really,” she amended, as she thought about last week and how he’d barely made it through her back door before he left.

“Well, I hope to remedy that soon,” he said.

“We’ll see.”

They stepped into an entry foyer that held a full-length mahogany mirror, two hat racks, hooks for coats, shelves that housed several pairs of boots. Stepping through the hallway, they came to a huge kitchen with state-of-the-art-equipment and luxurious dark wood cabinetry. The adjoining family room held a stone fireplace, a big-screen television, a game table, as well as a desk with two computers and other electronic devices.

“All the comforts of home, huh?” she asked. “It’s a marvelous home.”

“I suspect you have one to match,” he remarked.

“Odd that we’ve never been in each other’s houses in all the years we’ve known each other,” she said.

“There’s a lot we didn’t do in all the years we’ve known each other,” he said, setting her nerves on edge. “C’mon, I’ll show you more.”

They walked down a wide hall with Western paintings and beautiful tapestries that surprised her. The hall held finely crafted furniture, double front doors where floor-to-ceiling windows let in light and offered a grand view of the front of his property.

“Very beautiful, Tony. And a little surprising.”

“You probably pictured me in a log cabin with brass spittoons and bawdy paintings,” he said grinning.

She smiled. “Not that extreme, just maybe a little more rustic than this. After all, you’re a rancher at heart. This fancy home could belong to a Chicago stockbroker.”

He shrugged. “It’s comfortable, what I like and a haven when I come home.”

“That I understand.” She followed him as he directed her down another hallway.

“I don’t really know much about you as a person,” she said when he stopped outside a closed door. “Just as an annoyance in my life—until this month,” she said.

“I’m glad you added that last part. Here, Lindsay,” he said, ushering her into a suite with a sitting room that held floor-to-ceiling windows affording a panoramic view of a terrace and fields beyond it where horses grazed. “Here’s my living room. Want to see my bedroom next?”

Smiling at him, she shook her head. “I think we’re skirting the edge of temptation too much as it is. Thanks, I’ll pass.”

“Okay, then, on to the study.”

They went down the hall to another room, as elegant as the last, with leather furniture, oils on the walls, heavy shelves and polished cherrywood floors.

As she looked around, he said, “We can finish the tour later.” He glanced out the window. “Because I want you to see one of the pumps before the sun goes down.”

“Good idea,” she said. She wanted to see it in daylight, too, because if it really was his old pump, it would have rust.

“I’m ready.”

He placed a hand on the small of her back. “So am I,” he said in the husky tone he’d had when making love.

She stepped back. “You’re not helping the situation. We agreed that we were not pursuing...” She searched but couldn’t find the word she wanted. “Not pursuing this,” she said, “any further.” She tried to sound forceful, but her words sounded hollow, even to herself.

Tony must have thought so, too, because he said nothing. He merely stepped close and placed his hands on her waist. Her breathing became shallow and erratic as his steady gaze met her eyes and then lowered to her mouth.

Dimly the thought nagged at her that it had been a mistake to come here, but she wanted to see if he had been truthful with her.

She couldn’t step away or protest. She saw the desire in the blue-green depths of his eyes and her mouth went dry. She wanted his kiss just one more time.

He leaned down to kiss her, a hot, possessive kiss that made her feel he wanted her with all his being. Her heart pounded as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back, once again trying to make him remember this moment and be as conflicted as she was.

Her world spun away, lost in Tony’s kisses that set her ablaze. She felt his hands drifting up her back, then moving forward to lightly caress her breasts.

“Tony,” she whispered, unable to tell him to stop, yet knowing they should.

She caught his wrists and leaned back. “This isn’t why I came,” she whispered, and then stepped away. “Water well pump, remember?” she asked, unable to get any firmness in her voice.

“When you’re ready, we’ll go,” he said. He stood so close that her heart pounded and it took all the willpower she had to move away.

“We both have to do better than this tonight.”

“I intend to do a lot better,” he said, teasing and leering at her, causing her to laugh.

“You’re hopeless and headed for trouble, and you’re taking me with you.” She smoothed down her shirt and stood tall. “I’m ready to look at that pump now.”

“One thing—in case you think I might have one old pump for moments like this and the rest are new, I’ll let you select which one we go see,” he said. She went with him to his desk, a massive cherry table. He opened a drawer and pulled out a map, which he unfolded. “This is a map of the ranch with the water wells circled in yellow. You can select one. If you want to look at all of them, we can.”

She gave him a searching look. “I’m beginning to believe you and feel really foolish.”

“This is why you came. Pick the wells, Lindsay,” he instructed.

She looked again and pointed to one the shortest distance from the house.

“Is that all? I want you totally satisfied when you go home.” He said the last words in the tone of voice he used when he was flirting with her. He was back to sexy innuendos, which kept her thinking about his kisses and lovemaking.

“Tony, you’ve got to stop that,” she said, unable to suppress another laugh. He grinned and took her arm.

“I don’t think you really want me to. You say those words, but your body, your eyes, your voice are giving you away, darlin’.”

“Time to go, Tony,” she said, trying to resist him, the sensible thing to do.

They drove to the well and she could see the rust on the pump from yards away. She turned to place her hand on his arm. “Tony, I’m sorry. I’ve misjudged you and accused you of things you didn’t do.”

He turned to face her. “You don’t want to see another well?”

She shook her head, “No. I apologize.”

“Apology accepted.”

“I’ve already taken your advice and called to see about digging my wells deeper.”

“Good. C’mon, let’s go home and have some juicy steaks.”

She knew she should say no, but she couldn’t. She had been wrong about him—he had been telling her the truth all along.

She thought of all the times she had been told not to trust a Milan. Her grandmother had practically drummed it into her head. But her brother had married Tony’s sister and trusted her fully. Shouldn’t she have learned anything from Jake?

They rode back in silence, but when they stepped into his kitchen, she had to apologize again. She felt that bad.

“Tony, again, I’m so sorry. I—”

He turned to her and put his hands on her waist. “Don’t worry about it, it doesn’t matter now. This is all that matters.”

He tilted her chin up, and she saw the flicker in his eyes and knew when the moment changed. He drew her into his embrace and kissed her, holding her tightly and kissing her thoroughly until she was breathless. With a moan of pleasure, she slipped her arm around his neck and another around his waist to hold him tightly, wanting his kiss in spite of all her intentions of resisting him.

When he released her, he smiled. “That’s better,” he said. “Let’s have a drink and I’ll start the steaks.”

Though she knew she should go home for a quiet dinner alone, she nodded instead. She tingled from his kiss and wanted more. Each kiss was a threat to her heart and she promised herself she would stop seeing him after this evening. It was just one more night.

She drew a deep breath as her throat went dry. “We weren’t going to do this.”

“So we’re together three times instead of two. Seeing each other will end and we both know it, so what does tonight hurt?” he asked.

“You make it sound like something silly for me to protest.”

“You know I want you to stay. It won’t be a big deal, Lindsay.”

With her heart drumming, she watched him walk to a bar. Who would have thought it? A cowboy who could turn her world upside down, who had become the sexiest, most handsome man she had ever known. How could Tony have become important to her, able to set her heart pounding just by walking into a room where she was?

What seemed worse, the more she knew him, the better she liked him and the more she thought of him. That realization scared her. She didn’t want to respect him, admire him and like him. He was still Tony, who had to run everything all the time. Physically, she was intensely attracted to him, but it was beginning to spill over into other aspects of their lives and that scared her.

Never in her life had she been attracted to someone who could put her way of life at risk—until now.

To protect her own lifestyle, she had to make tonight the last time she would socialize with him. She had to break off seeing him before her life was in shambles and her heart broken.

Could she adhere to that...or was it too late?