A breakup is no doubt one of the most painful times in your life. Regardless of who broke it off, the wave of emotions, the feeling of loss and possibly the regret of how it ended may make you feeling restless and completely stressed out. Your head knows that losing control won’t help you move on, but your heart has something completely different to say. Instead of being deluged with emotion and driving down into depression, it is always better to take a more peaceful, and sensitive approach to the break-up. But it may not come easy and with time and practice you too can reach the goal and eventually feel much better and even spend a little better life than previous one.
Here are some ways to avoid pain after the breakup:
Understanding the reality:
Do not pretend that it did not happen in your life and all are ok as usual. Try to feel that the break up was done for a good reason and there were no single possibilities of staying together. At first you have to realize it and until you accept it you can’t start healing.
Realize your pain:
In the beginning everyone experiences intense pain and sorrow after break up. Do not avoid it and you are allowed to give yourself a couple of days alone to brood around and cry. It is natural to feel pain and sorrow when you lose someone who had lot of importance in your life. Tear up some love notes; write some poems or letters in your diary. Letting yourself be sad and gloomy and that will make you better with the course of time than bottling it all up. After that, if moping comes up you can also have the potential to start snapping out of it. The pain in the post breakup period can be a source of inspiration and light for you to do something better, that you have always wanted to do.
Need time to realize:
It is generally observed that in most of the cases a person is spending time with her or his ex and constantly recalling of all the good times of their relationship after break up. This may become the cause of more hurt and melancholy. So at first instance, try your best to avoid such memories with your ex. Do not try to call, email, and text or try to meet your ex passionately. The best possible way is to completely avoid communication with your ex as both of you need some time to realize yourselves. After a couple of months you can try out for a friendship but not for now.
Pick up interest from your hobbies and passion:
The best way to avoid post breakup turmoil is to keep you busy all the time. Always try to keep yourself involved in different types of activities which you love to do. It may be watching movies, reading books, outing with friends, photography, gym, or attachment to your loved sports, participating in social gathering, or any of your favorite hobbies. Pick up those activities that you love doing. This will remove your focus from the breakup to the activities you love and this will not only freshen your mind and will also help you to relieve from stress and pain but will also help you to play a significant role in causing a diversion for your mind from the sad episode to the inspired lifestyle and passion.
Make your close friend become your support system:
A good and close friend is a good support system for you, but not for all. It is a bad idea to talk to each and every friend about your breakup story that may cause them avoiding you, thinking that you have nothing to talk except the boring break up history. On the other hand a close friend who understands you, your thoughts and feeling will be a good support system by listening to you patiently and giving the best possible support and advice for your better meaningful future which you are actually searching for.
Start of Writing Diary:
Writing is one of the best ideas to vent out all the hidden pain, sorrow, and frustration and anger that the breakup brings with it. Writing a diary would release lots of hidden pains and anger which you might not be able to tell anyone, not even your ex or your close friend. It would also be an intense story of an individual and that can predict how much you have evolved as a person. There is no alternative for writing when it comes from your heart that may relieve and help you to sustain with the pain of break up and give a light for future journeys.
Use Meditation:
Meditation is an old technique through which we can control our tensed mind. It is a kind of practice in which an individual trains the mind or induces a mode of consciousness. It is basically generating an emotional state of mind. At first you need to close your eyes and forcibly extracting each and every thought from your mind is the essence of meditation. These thoughts would be very difficult to ignore, but lots of practice can make it possible to give ourselves the time to clear the clutter in our mind and you will probably be capable enough to move ahead in life for the better.
Exercise regularly:
It is a good way to minimize your frustration level and pain. Regular moderate exercise can help you fight off anxiety and depression. It’s also good for your body and mind to resist such post break situation.
Have fun:
At first it seems to be impossible, especially when you’re still raw after a breakup. However, having fun is great medicine for your mind. It reduces feelings of anger and increases your feelings of positive attitude towards life. So go out with friends, see a movie, go for disco dancing, sing karaoke and have fun and enjoy with friends which will obviously make you feel better. Laughter really is the best medicine to overcome sorrow. It releases the hormone called endrophin, which act as a mood elevator in your body. Laughter even increases your body’s ability to tolerate pain and anxiety.
Attach with your families more:
It is generally observed that many times your family stands behind you and act as a one of the biggest support system for the post break up time as they understands your feeling and needs more than anyone else. It may be your parents or brother, sister or anyone who had been closely related you and they are able to understand the crisis you might be going through. So you need to get involved with your family members and have quality time and bond with them strongly.
Start to throw away all memories:
It is very difficult to throw away all memories of your ex but it is also a good method to move ahead. Obviously, here you will need some time to act like this, in the beginning it may not work at all. It is one of the ways to try and forget your ex by throwing away each and every of those things that you may feel is reminding you of him or her or reminding you of those times which two of you spent together.
Give more time to build on your career:
Try and make your career the most important goal of your life. The most important thing is that you need to make yourself busy to build your career; consciously and automatically you need not get such time to think of your past relationship that will give a good reward in your future life. Many people hide themselves under the sheets and lose focus of their present life and are not able to cope with the present situation and thus lose their self respect too. But one who emerges successful after a broken relationship is the ones who are getting respect not only from others but also from oneself.
Time is the teacher:
It is said that time is the master recovery agent of all injuries. So it is essential to give yourself enough time to realize yourself and as well as the whole pre and post break up events. It all depends on your inner strength and the way you like to think life as a whole and your attitude for the future. It is not a just decision to go into another relationship right after a breakup rather it is more important to think clearly and giving you enough time before getting back into the dating scene after a breakup.
Avoid drugs and take healthy food:
In this crucial part of life try to avoid using drugs, alcohol and cigarettes and coffee and try to resist your feeling by eating chocolate and food. Your body can’t function properly without proper nutrition, so take only healthy foods to keep your body fit to sustain at such crucial time of your life.
Gratitude works:
It is generally noticed that it’s impossible to feel grateful and depressed at the same time. Gratitude and appreciation can transfer your pain and anger into love and bring peace to your emotional turmoil. Remind yourself that you are grateful for all things happening in your life and better to write it down. This method plays a miracle role in bringing out you from any melancholy.
Help others:
Researches and Studies show that the happiest people are the ones who live and work the most for others. When you're depressed, anxious or stressed, and feel that your life is meaningless there is a high degree of focus on the self, but focusing on the needs of others literally helps shift your thinking and your mood from a victimized person to a person of empowerment.
Change your routine:
Try a different coffee shop, restaurant, shopping mall, music store, grocery store or route to work that filled your brain with new memories, new ideas and new faces. Every time when we experience something new it creates new excitement and it helps you come out from the old memories with your ex and help you to start a meaningful life.
Forgive and forget:
After the initial phase of shock and turmoil situation has passed, you’ll find yourself in a place where you can have a chance to think and remain cool. When you forgive your ex for everything that happened, then your own process of forgetting can start and it will be easier for you to overcome the bad situation.
Take challenges and try to fulfill your desire:
We all like to stay in our comfort zone and it is hard to really thrive without challenges. Too much comfort kills your skills and motivation. But now when you are probably already feeling to be in a little uncomfortable situation after this breakup, you can use this uncertainty as your opportunity to try new things and take risks you might not have been encouraged to do otherwise. But this does not mean to drive extreme sports without training or decide to visit a foreign country without knowing their culture and language. It means you can now take up smaller challenges or your desire that you were not able to fulfill till now.
Ignore friendship:
In some rare occasion your ex might be pushing for just friendship and in that case, please speak clearly that you are not at all comfortable with the idea. You do not want to have a friend who broke your heart. You should not give any positive signal to this relation just after break up.
Don’t seek revenge:
Don’t take any serious steps against your ex that could land in legal trouble. Sometimes anger may lead you to get engaged in a type of action like taking revenge, but you should deliberately stop it otherwise you also can never come out from the worst episode of your life.
Breakups and its effects can be devastating thing and can last long. It's a serious transition time for any human being independent of male and female. It creates depression, anxiety, sorrow, pain and can feel to be of great burden and difficult that no one can possibly understand how they can resist the turmoil and bring himself to the crossroads of new and meaningful life.
Here we previously described some common tricks based on continuous research, studies and scientific approach that can enable you to overcome the path of melancholy and at the same time help you to emerge in the light of new hope and desire.