Chapter Eight

 

 

Owen glanced up at the clock and realized she was late. Fifteen minutes late. The party had started at six thirty, with Jax mixing cocktails while his pretty wife laid out her appetizers.

Damn him, but he’d forgotten River was a vegetarian. There was cheese but no meat, and a shocking amount of green stuff.

He was hungry and it wasn’t all about food. Since the day with Rebecca, Owen Shaw had realized how empty his life had been, and he suddenly wanted to fill it.

Fill it with her.

That woman had done something to him, and he wasn’t entirely sure he was happy about that.

“She’ll be here,” Robert said before popping a marinated olive in his mouth.

Owen shrugged. “Or she won’t. Maybe you were all right and I fucked this up.”

He’d been thinking about it every second since she’d blown him off. He’d been careful when they’d crossed paths, merely giving her a smile and a breezy hello.

“God, don’t get broody,” Robert groaned. “I need one of the Euros to have a sunny disposition. Sasha threw a plunger at me earlier today, and I swear he was trying to impale me. I often wish McDonald had more carefully screened her experiments for personality.”

Owen stared at him. A shiver went through him. He dreamed about it at night, about that moment he couldn’t remember, the one that had changed him utterly. In those nightmares, he saw the needle coming his way and looked up so he could see the face of the doctor who would take everything away from him.

He’d talked to Ariel about the dreams. What he’d never told her was that every time he looked up to take in Dr. McDonald’s face before she erased him, he’d seen his own staring back.

The person in his nightmares was always, always himself.

“I don’t understand how you joke about it,” he said quietly. “I know I laugh and play along, but inside I’m not. Inside I think maybe I’m more broken than the rest of you.”

Why the fuck had that popped out? He hadn’t even had more than two sips of the whiskey and soda Jax had placed in his hand.

Maybe that was the problem. He wasn’t drinking enough. He wasn’t following his usual pattern, and it was fucking with him hard.

He was about to chuckle and pretend he was joking when Robert put a hand on his shoulder.

“No, brother, it’s only that I’ve been broken longer than you,” he said solemnly. “I’ve been broken for years, and you’ll find that if you let it, some of those broken pieces will heal. They won’t be the same, but you’ll find ways to cope that aren’t about trying to obliterate yourself. Ezra talked to me this afternoon. He’s optimistic that this is going to work better than our original plan.”

“I don’t know about that,” he admitted, storing Robert’s words for later examination. Was he trying to obliterate himself? Was that why he got drunk and thought about starting fights he knew he couldn’t win? He’d been in a bar brawl in Colorado and a fierce joy had lit through him when he’d realized how serious the man he’d fought had been about trying to kill him. It had occurred to him that this might be an excellent way to go out.

Not fade away. Never fade. He should go out in a blaze of glory.

“Stop it with the doubt, man,” Robert said. “There’s no place for it. When Dr. Walsh gets here, you need to charm her. This is all about forgetting everything but the mission.”

A gentle chime went through the apartment and he was shocked at how his whole body seemed to go on alert.

River winked his way as she headed for the door, Buster hard on her heels.

Jax had found something special in Colorado. He’d found a family, was building a home, and it had nothing at all to do with some house. Jax’s home wasn’t found in four walls and carpet. It was there in River. In the way she smiled at him, in how she believed so much in him she’d walked away from everything she’d known.

The life that had been Jax’s nightmare was now an adventure.

“Hi, I’m sorry I’m late,” Becca was saying as River let her in. She was wearing a white shirt and a black skirt that was somehow professional and righteously sexy. A sweet-looking black and white cardigan completed her uniform. Pink gloss made her lips shiny, and she’d let her hair down. It hung around her face in thick tendrils that made him want to sink his hands into it and force her to look up at him.

He hadn’t topped her, and he craved that in a way he never had before. He’d trained at The Garden because it had taken up the lonely hours. He’d enjoyed the D/s sex he’d had, but he hadn’t understood the need to be in control until tonight.

“You’re not late,” River said, accepting the bottle of wine with a gracious smile. “Jax’s boss isn’t even here yet. I barely put out the appetizers. You’ve met Owen, but I’m not sure if you know his friend, Robert.”

He watched as Becca’s shoulders went stiff and straight and she turned slowly. Her eyes were wide when she took him in. She had not been expecting him. And then he saw the moment she decided to brazen her way through. Her lips curled up in a smile and she reached out a hand to him.

“Hello, elevator friend. I didn’t expect to see you here,” she said and there was a hint of something in her eyes.

Something that told him this wasn’t a pleasant surprise.

But there was something deeper, something almost afraid. Maybe more than almost.

Fuck. He could play the game. He would enjoy the seduction game with her, but if she was scared, he couldn’t overcome that. He had no idea why she would be afraid, but he’d talked to enough women to know she might have her reasons.

He briefly took her hand and attempted to make his expression as gentle as possible. “It’s good to see you as well, Dr. Walsh.”

Her eyes flared briefly as though she hadn’t expected him to use her title. “You can call me Rebecca. Or Becca.”

He took a step back, not wanting to crowd her or make her feel like he was in her space. He had no idea what he’d done to scare her. She hadn’t seemed scared of him when they’d passed in the hall, but she’d obviously changed her mind, and he wasn’t going to push himself on any woman. Not even for a mission.

There was pursuing a woman who wanted to be chased, and then there was stalking a woman to make her feel small, to let her know she was nothing but prey. He wasn’t ever going to do the latter.

But standing in front of her made him ache. He nodded her way. “All right then, Rebecca. I’m going to refill my glass. It’s good to see you again.”

He turned and walked back toward the kitchen, well aware that Robert was staring at him like he was insane.

He could hear Robert telling her hello as well and then River was there, smoothing things over and telling Becca about the menu for the evening.

“Hey, have you decided to play this low and slow or something?” Robert whispered the question as he entered the kitchen.

There was a swinging door between the galley-like kitchen and the living room, but there was also a large open space over the sink. He was sure it had been designed so whoever was left with cooking duties could still be a part of the activities in the living room, but it was also useful for spying.

Jax’s head came up from where he was cutting limes. “Low and slow? Like a brisket?”

“Like a man who just totally blew off a woman,” Robert replied with a frown on his face. “I thought you were going after her. I’m not sure both of you playing hard to get is going to work.”

One of Jax’s big shoulders shrugged. “Robert should know.”

Robert’s eyes rolled. “This isn’t about me. This is about the op, and Dr. Walsh is the op.”

“I think we might have to go a different route.” He poured himself more whiskey. It might be time to go back to what worked for him. He’d never once scared away the whiskey. “She was afraid of me.”

That seemed to flummox his friends.

“You’re reading her wrong. I think she was surprised to see you.” Robert grabbed a glass of his own. “Jax didn’t tell her you would be here tonight. I told you sometimes women get skittish after sex. You have to go out there and be charming.”

“No, she was afraid. Something scared her. That wasn’t embarrassment.” She hadn’t been embarrassed at all when she’d walked away from him that night they’d been stuck in the lift. She certainly hadn’t been the morning after. That morning she’d been in control. This evening there was something tentative about her.

“Why would she be afraid?” Jax asked.

“It could be anything.” Robert stared out into the living room as though considering the problem. “Something her ex-husband did. There might be some trauma there. Ariel didn’t mention that there had been violence in the relationship, but she can’t tell everything from her files.”

“Becca filed an HR report against one of the other doctors at the hospital where she did her residency.” He’d spent the day going over and over her file, everything they knew about her. He’d even tried to read one of her papers, something on how plaque affected memory, but he had no idea what half the words had meant.

She was smart and dynamic, and she’d had a few bumps along the way. The HR claim, the divorce. Tucker had mentioned there was gossip about Becca and Paul Huisman at work. Some people said she was sleeping with him. Others said they hated each other because she’d taken his job.

A woman of her skill and at her level would always have enemies or people who were jealous. Had one of those people tried to hurt her? What would that have to do with him?

He had to also consider the fact that she was simply done with him.

“You should talk to her,” Jax said. “Walk back out there and strike up a conversation. She’ll make an excuse and leave if it’s too uncomfortable.”

“Remember that this isn’t personal,” Robert advised. “This is only about the op. Nothing else matters, and we should put everything else aside.”

The doorbell rang again and he watched as River moved toward it and Becca was left alone. She bit her bottom lip and glanced over at the clock as though trying to decide if she could find a way out.

He was going to lose her. He had to find a middle ground, had to figure out why she was afraid of him suddenly. Had something happened today?

He could hide in here or he could try.

“What the hell?” Robert straightened up as Ezra walked into the apartment, his hand tangled with his partner’s for the evening.

Ariel Adisa. She looked gorgeous in a green dress that showed off her curves. Her hair was in its natural curl, and there was no doubt she was a stunning woman.

Becca’s beauty was quieter, but no less impactful. Of course, Becca wasn’t holding on to another man. She wasn’t grinning as she was introduced as someone’s wife, her face kind of glowing.

No. Becca looked shy as she put her hand out to greet Ezra and Ariel.

“Why the fuck is his hand on her?” Robert’s whole demeanor had changed.

Ariel was here tonight as Ezra’s wife so she could get a better read on Becca. She’d explained that reading Becca’s reports and her social media would only tell her so much. Ariel wanted to get to know the woman who might have worked with Dr. McDonald.

Who hadn’t worked with that woman. No way. He couldn’t even think of it. She hadn’t known a damn thing. He couldn’t believe it.

“I thought this was all about the op, man,” Jax said. “She’s Ezra’s partner, not his lover.”

Robert actually growled the minute the word lover came out of Jax’s mouth.

“Seriously? You know you were supposed to be playing my lover, right?” Owen pointed out the flaw in his friend’s logic. “You certainly weren’t doing it to make Ari jealous. Or were you?”

Robert’s jaw tightened as he obviously tried to gain control. “Of course not. She knows damn well I wouldn’t sleep with you.”

But he was worried she might sleep with Ezra. “She turned you down because she wouldn’t sleep with a coworker. I know Ezra technically isn’t on the payroll, but I assure you she thinks of him as a coworker.”

“She didn’t turn me down at all,” Robert said quietly. “I did it. I kissed her back when I first started living at The Garden, and it got out of hand. And I realized how much I could hurt her. We agreed to go back to what we’d been before, therapist and patient. Friends, sort of, because of how we work together. I’ve come a long way. I can control myself now. I won’t hurt her physically. But she’s angry because I left her behind in London. I’m trying to show her that maybe we could try again after all this is over.”

Jax hissed slightly. “Man, they do not like to hear things like that. Women tend to want to go through all the things. The good. The bad. All the stuff.”

“You’ve been married for five minutes, Jax,” Robert shot back.

“Yeah, but it’s been a good five minutes.” Jax sighed as though thinking about something amazing. “It hasn’t been long, but I know one thing I’ve figured out. If you’re a couple you’re together no matter what. You don’t give up because being together is the most important thing. River isn’t merely a gift to protect. She’s my wife and she’s got a say in everything we do.”

“Oh, you learn quickly, baby.” River pushed through the swinging door and walked straight up to her husband, throwing her arms around him and lifting her face for a kiss. “Nothing is sexier than being a partner and not a prop.” He lowered her back down and she grabbed a corkscrew. “I take it this man-talk is brought to us by the sight of Ariel with another man? I ask because I know this isn’t about Owen. He’s already running away and hard.”

“I am not running,” he complained. “I’m giving her space because she obviously doesn’t want me here.”

“She had a rough day at work and she’s still unsettled,” River replied, picking up two wine glasses. “Which you would know if you hadn’t gotten all man hurt because she didn’t become a puddle of goo at the very sight of your handsome face. Go and make her laugh. Be charming and non-threatening. Try not to look like a crazy caveman. If you need tips on how to do that, look at Robert right now and then do the opposite of him. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll try to get Ezra back here and then Ari and I can solve the case while you guys gossip.”

She strode out to the living room, the door swinging behind her.

Jax grinned after his wife. “She gets sassier with age.”

She was definitely a far cry from the woman he’d first met. She’d been sad, closed off and suspicious.

If Jax had walked away the first time she’d rejected him—over a misunderstanding—they wouldn’t be here. That wasn’t how it would work out for him and Becca, however he could do his job and still be good for her.

But not if he let her walk away because he didn’t even try.

From his vantage he could see her through the opening between the kitchen and the bar. She hadn’t put her purse down. She was glancing around like she was trying to find a way to get out of this gracefully.

He couldn’t give her the chance. He grabbed a second glass and poured out two fingers of whiskey. “I’m going in.”

“Damn straight you are,” Jax replied. “Ask her. She won’t be expecting it because almost no one in this world is open and honest when they feel vulnerable. I was too stupid to know how to behave and it saved me. Be bold.”

Bold. He could do that. He clutched the glasses and strode out to make his play.

 

* * * *

 

How to get out? It had been a mistake to come tonight. Maybe if she hadn’t walked in and seen Owen she could have gotten through dinner, but seeing him again had thrown her off kilter.

She could fake a text. She was a doctor. Everyone knew doctors had emergencies all the time. A research emergency. That might work. Something could have gone wrong in the lab and she needed to get back. Except there was zero chance she was going back there tonight.

Damn it. She hated being this wishy-washy, hated not having a plan in front of her.

It had been an hour since she’d left the office and she couldn’t find her calm. She could tell herself that the feeling she’d gotten while standing outside her office had been nothing but a trick of memory, but it still sat there in her gut.

She’d hated that feeling. Vulnerable. Fragile.

Seeing Owen had made her want to run because she was close to the edge and she didn’t have any right to ask him to put those big, strong arms around her.

It would be a stupid thing to do. She’d just met the man. She wasn’t going to pour her heart out to him.

She’d had sex with him, but somehow talking about how scared she’d been, leaning on him for something other than an orgasm was more intimate.

“Did you say you were a doctor?” the gorgeous woman with a British accent said. She’d been introduced as Ariel, Ezra’s wife. She was tall and graceful, with brown eyes lit with intelligence. “Medical?”

“Yes,” she replied out of politeness. River was busy opening the bottle of pinot noir she’d grabbed at the café downstairs as her husband’s boss spoke to her in low tones. “I work in research with the Huisman Foundation.”

“You’re Rebecca Walsh? The Rebecca Walsh?” Ariel smiled broadly. “I’m sorry. I bet you don’t normally meet fans outside of a conference. I guess fan is an odd word. Admirer is more posh, perhaps.”

“I don’t normally meet anyone who knows me outside of the medical world.” There was a reason those eyes were so intelligent. “They didn’t introduce you as Dr. Fain.”

“I go by my maiden name, Dr. Adisa, but honestly, unless I’m working, I don’t use it. I’m around a lot of Ezra’s circle most of the time and they are not impressed with education. Well, not the university kind. My husband knows an awful lot of computer experts. I’m a clinical psychologist. I work particularly with intense PTSD and trauma.” The psychologist smiled brightly as she spoke, practically lighting up the room. “Obviously one of the problems can be memory loss, both short and long term. Your paper on new therapy techniques in reconnecting memory function was brilliant. I use several of your methods with my long-term patients. I thought you were in Boston.”

“I took a job at Huisman a couple of years ago,” she explained. “They gave me a whole department and pretty much free range on whatever I wanted to work on, so I moved here.”

“They’ve got deep pockets and some incredible connections,” Ariel agreed. “It’s such a small world. You should know that your work is helping people on many levels.”

She loved hearing that and on any other night she would question the doctor, asking her about her research and practice. She’d often found that the doctors who used her work as a base came up with possibilities she’d never thought about. But tonight, that note was still in her bag and the shadows seemed to be chasing her. Tonight, praise might be a good transition to exit. “Thank you so much. I would love to talk to you about how you’ve used them. Perhaps we could have lunch sometime. I’m afraid I’m going to…”

She stopped when Owen stepped up beside Ariel, two glasses in his hand.

He was even more gorgeous than she’d remembered. Her dreams had nothing on reality. He was big and strong and those eyes pierced through her. His reddish and gold hair was slightly shaggy, and he had the hint of a beard across that chiseled jaw.

She kind of wanted to kiss that jaw.

How could she go from needing to be alone to wanting so desperately to be alone with him?

“I brought you a drink. I remember you didn’t mind whiskey,” he said, holding out the glass.

She took it and her first instinct was to down that sucker as fast as she could.

Her second was to wonder about that note she’d gotten and the way she’d felt earlier in the evening.

How well did she know this man? How well did she know any of the people in this room?

Owen offered his free hand to the lovely psychologist. “I’m Owen Shaw. I live across the hall. Just moved in this week.”

“Ariel Adisa,” she said, readily taking his hand and shaking it. “It’s good to know my husband and I aren’t the only strangers in a strange land. My husband works with Jax. We moved from DC, though obviously I’m a Brit like you.”

Owen’s brow rose. “I’m a Scot, love.”

She sighed. “One of those. I should have known. Are you in the medical profession as well?”

She didn’t like how pretty Owen looked with Ariel. But then he would probably look good with anyone. She didn’t like how long Owen held the other woman’s hand.

A very good reason to run because she shouldn’t get possessive about some guy she’d spent a couple of hours with.

That was when she realized that while she’d been watching that place where Owen’s hand held the other woman’s, his gaze had been on her. She looked up into his vibrant eyes. He glanced down at the glass in her hand and she could have sworn she saw a hint of hurt there.

“Darling, could you come and tell River about the new gallery you found in Junction Triangle?” Ezra put his hand on his wife’s back, gesturing her toward their host. “She and Jax have had a hard time decorating this place. Apparently they have different tastes.”

Ariel chuckled. “I’m afraid I can’t help Jax’s sad preoccupation with dogs playing poker paintings, but I can help River.” She sent Becca another of her brilliant smiles. “I’m so happy to meet you and to know you’re in my little circle. See you in a bit.”

And she was left alone with Owen. Not alone, exactly. They were in one of the apartment’s corners, but River, Ariel, and Ezra were already talking animatedly across the room. Jax and Robert walked in, bringing more drinks.

It was a party. A normal thing.

She could still feel her heart beating.

“Give me that,” Owen ordered.

She realized he was talking about the drink in her hand. The one she hadn’t touched. He took it and downed it in one long swallow before setting it on one of the coasters River had set on the tables in the room.

“Jax will pour you another one and you can watch him do it,” he said, his voice low but gentle. “We’ve been drinking from that bottle all night. He opened it in front of me. Now tell me what I did between Wednesday and tonight to put that look in your eyes and make you worry I might hurt you.”

He thought she thought he’d tried to drug her drink? She was about to protest, but she had considered it. She’d looked at him and wondered honestly why such a gorgeous man would want her the way he seemed to. She’d thought about the fact that two weird, frightening things had happened in the days after she’d met him.

But he’d been here for over an hour, according to River. He’d come early because his laptop wasn’t working and Jax had offered to fix it for him. While she’d been terrified, he’d been trying to get better Internet.

She was being utterly paranoid.

He’d seen right through her.

She stole his glass and took a long swallow, the whiskey burning through her in a pleasant way. “I had a rough day.”

“And walking in on your…it wasn’t even a one-night stand was it? Walking in to find out you’re having dinner with me couldn’t have helped.”

“That wasn’t exactly how I viewed it.”

“Robert said you were probably embarrassed,” he said with a frown. “I don’t understand what you have to be embarrassed about.”

She felt her cheeks heat and she forced herself to swallow her second mouthful of whiskey. “You told Robert?”

It was his turn to blush. “I did. I wasn’t supposed to? I guess I didn’t think about it. It was the best thing that happened to me in a long time. I wanted to talk about it.”

Those words did strange things to her heart. And he was right. A little of her tension seemed to seep away. Maybe it was the whiskey, but she kind of thought it was the man. Now that she was standing here alone with him, she remembered how comfortable she’d been with him. They’d been stuck in that dumb elevator for hours, and it had been easy to be with Owen. He hadn’t flinched at all over her dweeby talk about science fiction shows she loved or rolled his eyes when she started feeling tight in her own skin. He’d shared her dinner gratefully and offered her half of everything he’d had.

And when she’d needed it, he’d kissed and fucked away every ounce of stress in her body.

“I told some people too,” she admitted with a half-smile. She would probably tell Cathy. She’d definitely talk to Melissa about it. “Well, I told one person and this other guy overheard, but I didn’t really care because I would tell anyone who asked. Your friend is wrong. I wasn’t ashamed.” She glanced over at Robert and frowned. “Is he unhappy? He looks angry.”

The man had the fiercest frown on his face and he seemed to be staring at Ezra, Ariel, and River like he might murder one of them. Or all of them.

Jax had walked over with a plate of crostinis. “Who’s angry?”

Owen’s brows went up and he looked over at his friend with a grimace. “Robert. And not at all. That’s just his face, love. He’s one of those guys who can’t seem to smile much. I’m absolutely sure it’s not because he can’t stand to look at a couple who’s obviously in love because that would make him a crazy man.”

Jax sighed. “Definitely just his face. I’ll tell him to watch the resting bitch face. Dinner’s in ten.”

He turned and walked back to the other group.

She wouldn’t call it resting bitch face. Maybe resting serial-killer face. She watched as Jax walked up and whispered something to the man and his face flooded with red. He sighed and turned to his friend.

“So you’re not afraid of me then?” Owen’s words brought her attention back to him. “When you walked in, I thought you looked scared. I couldn’t stand the thought of you being afraid of me.”

She wasn’t. Well, not in a physical way. Emotionally she was worried he might wreck her in a way her ex never could, but she wasn’t going to let that happen. Maybe they could enjoy each other. Why not? As long as they were both open and honest about what they wanted, why couldn’t they have some fun?

Of course, she might be reading him wrong. He might be simply trying to be friendly.

“Not afraid. Not of you,” she admitted. “Something weird happened at work and it freaked me out a little.”

“What happened?” His gaze sharpened and she could buy that this was a man who’d been honed in battle.

“It was nothing. The lights went out when I was about to come home. I was alone and it scared me,” she replied simply.

“Was it the darkness that frightened you?”

She shivered as she remembered that feeling. “It was nothing. Primal fear of the unknown, I suspect. It’s weird. I don’t hate being alone. I like it most of the time. I’ve lived alone here for two years and I’m usually one of the last people out of the office at night, but today something felt different. Like I said, it was dumb instinct.”

“Instinct isn’t dumb,” he insisted. “Fear isn’t something to be ignored. Fear is the lizard part of your brain, the part that concentrates on survival.”

She stared at him. “Are you seriously mansplaining the amygdala to a neuroscientist?”

His lips curled up in the sexiest smirk. “I got no idea what that is, but it’s sexy when you say it.” He sobered a bit. “And you might be the brain expert, but I assure you, I’m the expert in fear and survival. So let me soldiersplain this to you. Fear is the first ingredient to survival. You can’t survive an attack if you don’t know it’s coming, and fear is the first sign. Did you feel like you weren’t really alone?”

She nodded, the hair on her arms standing up again.

“Then you probably weren’t,” he replied. “Have there been any crimes around your building? Break-ins? Assaults?”

“Not that I’m aware of.” He looked so serious, so concerned, that she found herself reaching out to him, putting a hand on his arm. The minute she touched him, she felt herself relax fully. It was okay. She wasn’t back there. She was here with him, and Owen knew what he was doing.

“You work in research,” he mused. “How secretive is it?”

She hadn’t considered that. “I publish my research. I talk about it pretty openly, but my data is kept secret until I’m ready to publish. The pharmaceutical companies who fund me get the updates, but those are quarterly. There’s always different foundations and competing research groups who wouldn’t mind knowing exactly what I’m doing and how far I’ve gotten.”

“They might not be patient enough to wait. I’ve learned that corporations aren’t patient at all, and they don’t mind bribing employees to get what they want. If there’s a spy, he’s likely in your midst. Or she. Saturday evening would be a good time to have a look around.”

That made more sense than someone waiting to hurt her. Having a logical explanation let her take her first deep breath in hours. “We have security. I’ll have them check and see if anything odd happened and who was in the building at the time. But I’m sorry you thought I was worried about you. I’m not at all, Owen Shaw.”

“You weren’t happy to see me. I didn’t imagine that.”

“I was surprised. It took me off guard seeing you here,” she admitted. How to explain? “I think I could get my heart broken by you. I think I could get serious about you fast, and that’s not something I’m ready for. I don’t know that I ever will be again. I think what happened in the elevator was a crazy connection, but I’m not sure we should take it further than that. I have a date tomorrow. I’m not planning on getting serious about him either.”

He seemed to think about that for a moment. “Is that why you said no when I asked you to go to dinner with me?”

“I had to work late that night.”

A hard glint hit his eyes and she was surprised that it didn’t frighten her off at all. That dark look on his face made him hotter because she didn’t believe for a second that he would hurt her in a physical fashion, though she wondered how rough he would get if he let himself off the leash.

Sex with her ex had been good. They’d been quite compatible, but she’d taken the lead in most of it. There had been something about the way Owen Shaw had asked her to let him take over, and then when she’d agreed how he’d mastered her body, that she couldn’t stop thinking about. It had been a hurried affair. What if they’d had a whole night? How would Owen Shaw make love to a woman when there were no time constraints?

“That’s a lie,” he said, his sensual lips forming a flat line. “I don’t like it when you lie to me. I would prefer honesty. You don’t want to go out with me at all, do you? Just tell me, and I’ll back off.”

But she didn’t want him to back off. “All right. You want honesty? I don’t want to be exclusive with anyone, Owen. I’m not in a place where I can have a relationship. I would like very much to be friendly with you, but I think you’re the kind of man who could get possessive.”

“And I think you’re the type of woman who won’t be able to hold herself apart no matter how much she wants to.” The dark look on his face was replaced with sensual amusement. “Are you saying you aren’t opposed to repeating the experience?”

Just like that she could feel her nipples perk up. Damn, he was a sexy man. She wanted him, but she heard herself saying, “I don’t know.”

He reached out and his fingertips brushed back her hair. “When you figure it out, why don’t you let me know. I think that we’re both adults with demanding jobs. We likely don’t have a ton of time to date, but I know I for one wouldn’t hate having someone to go to bed with at night or to share an occasional meal with. I definitely think I would like a woman who appreciates what I can give her in bed, and I’m not just talking about my cock. I’m talking about more than mere sex. Do you understand? I want you to think about this while we’re having dinner. Actually, for the next few days if you need them.”

She was back to not being able to breathe, though it was a pleasant experience. Anticipation. Longing. Curiosity. “What do you mean it’s more than sex?”

“I want more,” he said, his voice a husky temptation. “I want a few nights a week where we play. Do you understand what I mean by play?”

She hadn’t lived under a rock. Melissa had dragged her out to that movie she’d been crazy about. She’d sat there in the darkened theater filled with a crowd of swooning women and she hadn’t admitted that she wondered what it would feel like. Not the all-day stuff. Not letting some man pick her clothes and tell her what to eat. That would make her punch the asshole.

But the sex stuff… Not having to think for a few hours a day. Trusting her lover enough to give him control of her body and her pleasure. Exploring with him.

“You’re talking about dominance and submission,” she whispered, trying to ensure no one else heard them. “I would assume it’s your dominance.”

He was staring at her lips. “Aye. And your submission.”

That accent had gotten so much thicker and he’d said “aye” not “yes” the way he normally would, as though the very thought of it made him somehow more primal.

“I’ve never…played before.” But she’d thought about it.

“That’s not a problem. I’ve played enough for both of us. All you have to do is follow my commands. I’ll ensure your pleasure, your relaxation. On a night when we play, you will belong to me and I will be possessive. The good news is you can tell me no and I’ll walk away. If you tell me to stay away, I will. This is only good for me if it’s good for you.”

“You would spank me?” The question didn’t come out shocked because she wasn’t. And that kind of shocked her. She was a genius at the top of her game.

She was also a woman who needed sex and emotion and connection, even if it was only for a few hours a week.

“Only if you like to be spanked.”

She had to push him before she made the decision. “But I know there’s punishment.”

“Only if you need it to feel happy and complete,” he explained. “Or if you wanted accountability for something.”

River walked up, a smile on her face. “It’s time for dinner, you two.”

He nodded her way. “We’ll be right there.” When their hostess had walked away, he turned his attention back on Becca. Such focus. When he looked at her like that, she felt like she was the only woman in the room. “Think about it, Becca. I’m willing to play with you. I’m more than willing. I want you. If all I can get is a night a week, I’ll take it. As long as when you’re with me, you’re with me, then I won’t ask questions about the rest of your social life.”

He wouldn’t care that she was dating other men. Or he might care, but he wouldn’t give her hell for it. He would likely date as well. They would be free to explore sex with each other, but also free to explore outside their relationship.

This was dangerous, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. He was offering her everything she wanted. No holds barred. No strings attached.

But there might be rope.

“Think about it.” He took a deep breath and stepped back. “We should go.”

“Yes,” she said, her decision made. “We should.” She took his hand. “River, I’m so sorry. I have an emergency.”

The whole room was staring at her, but she knew what she needed and it was absolutely him.

“An emergency? Is everything okay?” River asked.

She started to lead Owen toward the door. “Everything will be. Thanks so much for inviting me. And Owen. He’s got to help me with my emergency.”

It was weak, but she honestly didn’t care. She’d spent the last few hours feeling vulnerable, and this choice seemed to have brought her strength back.

“It’s definitely an emergency,” Owen affirmed in a low drawl. “It might take most of the night. Thanks for the party, Jax. River.”

She grabbed her purse and when he took the lead, she followed.