After a sub-standard tea, we go for a walk to escape even more unpacking and as I walk hand-in-hand with Lucas, the boys' race ahead.
“I already love it here, we’re so lucky.”
Lucas nods. “It’s quiet though, I’m not sure if I’ll ever get used to not hearing the noise of the traffic. It feels a little eerie if I’m honest.”
“It’s better, way better because noise pollution is a silent danger.”
“Silent danger, what on earth are you talking about? How can noise pollution be a silent danger?”
Lucas laughs as I say crossly, “What I mean, is that you don’t notice it’s a problem because you’ve become immune to it. Now it’s gone, you notice it, which means you’re better off.”
Lucas laughs beside me and I mumble, “Well, I know what I mean.”
He squeezes my hand. “Yes, only you know what goes on in that brain of yours.”
As we pass, I look with interest at the houses that are similar to ours but a little different in some ways. There were four types of house built here, and each has its own name. The Wisteria is the most expensive with five bedrooms and three bathrooms and a rather impressive layout downstairs. Then there’s the Dahlia which has four bedrooms and a separate dining room with a smaller kitchen. The Daisy is a three-storey town house with an impressive master suite on the top floor and then there’s ours, the Rose, a four-bedroom home with smaller rooms and one less bathroom. The garden is also slightly smaller, but more than enough for us. We also only have a single garage whereas the two more expensive ones have double garages, but never having had the luxury of one before, we are more than happy with a single. In Streatham we were lucky to find a space in the road outside our house, so this is pure luxury.
As we walk, I look with interest at the houses that surround ours and feel smug as I look at how high we climbed. We’ve made it, we’re now living the dream and I know we made the right decision, despite what Lucas thinks.
My husband is unusually quiet beside me, and I know he feels out of sorts. He was content to stay in London, I suppose because it’s all he’s ever known—all we’ve ever known, and yet he did this for me.
I squeeze his hand, feeling so grateful I found him. Everyone thought we were young and foolish when we got engaged at sixteen. When we married at seventeen, I could see the resigned expressions on both sets of parent’s faces as they thought we had made a huge mistake and yet here we are, twenty years later and still going strong with two gorgeous boys and a house I never dreamed of owning. We worked hard for it though, and it certainly hasn’t been easy. I mean, there were a few speed bumps along the way that slowed us down. A few redundancies and missed opportunities and the fact it took us a few failed attempts to get the family we craved so much.
The tears burn as I think about the dark time when getting pregnant was the most important thing in my life. It consumed me and I couldn’t understand why I was unsuccessful. I checked out medically and so did Lucas, but through no lack of trying, it never happened. It made little sense and I suppose I became a little obsessed with it but it paid off in the end. The results are play fighting a short distance away and I shout, “Boys, stop fighting, behave yourselves.”
Lucas laughs softly, “They’ll never change.”
“They’ll have to, I mean, I’m pretty sure this place frowns upon children.”
“Now you’re being ridiculous.”
“Am I though? I told you before, this place is eerily silent. Look around you Lucas, where are the kids on bikes? Where are the windows open with music blaring out and where are the kids playing? Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve seen any children all the times we looked around. Do you think there are any, or is it just people like Keith and Sandra Wickham, maybe our boys are the only life in the place?”
“Who are Keith and Sandra Wickham when they’re at home?”
“Our new neighbours and he is seriously square. He popped over when you were picking up the boys and gave me a folder on things we need to know. He was a little straight and above himself but maybe I was just being harsh, I mean, it was kind of him to stop by, don’t you think?”
Lucas nods and falls silent, and I kick myself. Why did I plant one more seed of doubt in his mind? He never wanted to move, and the boys certainly didn’t. In fact, they told me on numerous occasions I was ruining their lives and they would hate me forever. I didn’t care, mother knows best and yet now we’re here I’m not so sure. Was this the right move? It had better be.
As we walk around the corner, I look at the houses with interest. They built this part of the development before ours and it subsequently has a more lived-in look. Pretty houses set around the village green that have beautiful flower gardens and established borders. Lucas is quiet beside me and I whisper, “Do you wish we lived in this part?”
He sighs and says somewhat irritably, “No I don’t, Esme. I’m happy with what we’ve got and so should you. Anyway, these houses weren’t available, you know that.”
“Oh, for goodness’ sake, Lucas, I’m only asking, why are you so irritable?”
As we walk, I feel annoyed that he’s in one of his moods. I know we should be doing a million things back at the house like hanging curtains and settling in, but I was keen for us to take a breath and discover the area we moved to.
Meadow Vale is split into two parts at the moment. The first phase of houses set around a pretty green and then the part we have moved into, a smart street around the corner of the green. Houses were in demand and we were lucky to find a buyer for ours so quickly and I have to pinch myself that we pulled it off. There is more building work to come and I hope it doesn’t alter the ambience of the place because now it’s perfect. However, as we walk, it strikes me how deserted this place is. There are quite a few houses here, but no movement or activity. No eager husbands mowing the lawn or tinkering with their cars. In fact, there are very few cars around and I can only suppose they are at work, or the cars are safely locked in the garages of the smart houses.
After a while, I whisper, “Can you feel it?”
“What?”
“Oh, I don’t know, maybe I’m being stupid.”
“Just tell me.” Lucas is irritated and I almost say nothing but whisper, “I’ve just got a strange feeling we’re being watched.”
He laughs softly and squeezes my hand. “We probably are. I’m guessing the neighbours are curious about the new arrivals. I’m sure it won’t take you long to infiltrate the development. By the time I return home from work one day, you will have all the gossip and tell me things I’d really rather not know.”
“Maybe you’re right but I don’t know, something feels off to me.”
“Boys, if I have to tell you one more time, you’ll go to your rooms with no tea.”
“Supper, Lucas.”
“What?”
He looks at me in surprise and I whisper, “I expect they call it supper here. Don’t make us stand out any more than we do already.”
I can tell I’ve said the wrong thing when Lucas says tightly, “Stop.”
“What?”
“This, pretending we’re something we’re not. We’ve always said tea and I’m not about to change just to fit in with people we don’t even know. For all you know, these people could be murderers, gangsters, drug addicts or wife beaters. Don’t be so quick to think they are better than us.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, of course nobody here is like that. We are in a respectable neighbourhood now and have left all that behind in Streatham.”
“Are you serious?”
Lucas looks at me with disapproval and I colour up a little. “Ok, maybe I’m being unfair on our friends back home but honestly Lucas, do you really think Meadow Vale is home to riff raff? Just look at the number of windows with shutters on them, that should tell you these people have taste and money.”
“Or something to hide.”
“Now you stop. In fact, I want shutters as a matter of urgency and we have absolutely nothing to hide except for the mess you boys make.”
Sighing heavily, Lucas shouts, “Come on guys, time to head back.”
I know not to push my luck any further and just fall into step beside my husband but I know how I feel, something is off about this place and I’m certain we are being watched, call it a sixth sense, I can feel it.