As soon as I get home, I’m like a demented Martha Stewart. Nothing is safe as I thoroughly de-clutter and spring clean our house, striving for show house perfection. Deciding to become a culinary goddess on another day, I hope the takeaway options are good around here because I have no time for cookery while the house is a mess. Armed with bin bags, I blow through the house like a tornado and sweep surfaces and try to bring my house into shape. Nothing is safe as I strive for perfection and make it my mission to drag my family up to meet the expectations living here demands.
As I drag my rubbish to the wheelie bins around the side of the house, I look up at the property opposite and wonder what secrets it hides. As usual, the window on the top floor is open and yet there is no other sign of life. I squint in the sunshine as I look for any movement or reflection, but see nothing.
I wonder if Jasmine is just messing with my mind because I can’t imagine there is anything strange going on around here. I mean, everyone seems so nice and, well, normal.
“What’s going on?”
I head inside and see Lucas looking at me as if I’ve gone mad.
“What do you mean?”
“This place, where is everything?”
“If you’re referring to the general clutter, you will find it in the bin. We no longer need it in our lives, and I can’t believe we brought so much with us.”
“Are you mad?”
Lucas storms past me and starts rifling through the bin, throwing objects to the ground and moaning, “For god’s sake, Esme, this isn’t your stuff to throw. I need these things. What else have you interfered with?”
“Nothing, I’ve just got started but things are about to change, Lucas. We need to shape up because we’re living like pigs. Look at this place, it’s a brand-new house and we have filled it with rubbish. I want us to start again and look as if we belong here.”
“Are you serious, what do you mean, look as if we belong here, are you insane?”
“No, just bringing our family to the level we should be. There’s no harm in trying to better yourselves, and this is the perfect place to start.”
I try not to see the distaste on Lucas’s face as I study him with a critical eye. Slightly scruffy, wearing his usual jeans and t-shirt, not to mention the tattoos that I always knew would be a bad idea. No, it’s time to shape up and I vow to start with him and style him exactly the same as… Something stops me as I contemplate what I just thought. Do I really want Lucas to be exactly like Liam? What’s happening to me? Five minutes here and I’m doubting my choice in life in favour of something I think I want.
Lucas just looks at me angrily and storms off with all his rubbish and I shake the disturbing thoughts away and shout after him, “Make sure you put that stuff where I can’t see it.”
The slamming door is my answer and I look up at the house facing ours in dismay. I hope nobody picked up on Lucas’s petty tantrum. Goodness, whatever will the neighbour’s think?
* * *
By the time the boys come home from school, I have removed every cardboard box from their rooms and put all their belongings away into the cupboard. The house is looking better, there is less clutter, and I’ve even placed a tablecloth on our ring-marked wooden table to hide the evidence.
The boys look at me in surprise as I smile with what I believe a loving mother looks like and say pleasantly, “How was your day my darlings?”
Archie just looks at his brother and shrugs, and Billy mutters under his breath, “Weird.”
They turn to wrench open the fridge door and grab armfuls of food before I shriek, “Stop right there. Put the food back and walk away, immediately. Straight to your rooms and change out of your uniforms. I’ll make you a healthy snack while you do your homework.”
They just stare at me as if I’ve grown two heads and I say sharply, “Now, if you value your leisure time this evening.”
“What’s going on?”
Archie looks confused and I say firmly, “Beginning today, we will behave like a normal family. This is the new normal and if you know what’s best for you, you’ll adopt it with no arguments. Now scoot and do as I say, otherwise there will be no healthy snacks for you to enjoy.”
They just look at each other and Billy shrugs and heads upstairs to his room, closely followed by his brother.
Feeling some sense of victory, I turn and open the fridge in pursuit of a healthy snack to honour my promise and my heart sinks. There isn’t one.
Chocolate, cold sausages, some milk past its best and a mouldy piece of brie. Where are the healthy homemade, lovingly prepared, muesli bars that would look good next to a fruit smoothie? Come to think of it, where is the fruit in this place because frankly my fridge is a disgrace?
Sighing, I reach for the biscuit tin and lay out two rich tea biscuits each and pour them a glass of water, resolving to fix this first thing tomorrow morning by doing a large shop.
Lucas heads back and rolls his eyes. “What’s got into you, the boys think you’ve been abducted by aliens? You know, Esme, if I thought moving here would make you into a snob, I would never have agreed. This isn’t you - us. Stop trying to be something you’re not.”
I feel the anger bubbling up and snap, “How do you know I’m not? Maybe I’ve always wanted to be more than the woman I became. Perhaps I want to better us as a family and make us reach our full potential. There’s nothing wrong with that, Lucas, just think about it and you’ll know I’m talking sense.”
“What’s for tea?” He shrugs off my comments as if they’re not worth considering and I seethe inwardly and say pompously, “Supper tonight is chicken carbonara with garlic bread.”
He groans and I turn my back on him. One step at a time because my offering tonight will be the last ready meal I buy. From now on I will beat these women at their own game and become some sort of perfect housewife, wife and mother and I’m going to do it while I look for part time work to pay for it all.
Later that night as I close the curtains, something makes me look across at the house behind us. The shutters are closed as usual and the window open. The house is always in darkness, I expect that, but tonight something is different. Tonight, one shutter hasn’t been closed properly and I can see a small sliver of light shining through the slats. I don’t turn away and just look a little harder, but I can’t see a thing, just the light. Somebody’s there, it’s obvious. I wonder who they are, and maybe I should try and find out. We are neighbours, after all, and I know just what excuse I will use when I go round there.