I feel so nervous, it’s a strange feeling being here, but this was always part of my plan. Some would call me foolish, others strange. I’m not sure if this was such a good idea, but I need to lay the ghosts to rest.
I walk towards the door of number 9, Willow Drive, Meadow Vale, and the key shakes in my hand.
I’m back.
I’m here alone.
Marcus wanted me to wait for him to finish work, but this is something I needed to do on my own. I must confront my past and put my fears to rest because everything I’ve done since I was here last, was leading to this moment.
True to my word, I knuckled down and applied myself. They placed me with a foster family, who, as luck would have it, were teachers. They couldn’t believe their luck when, far from being a wayward teenager, I craved their knowledge. I worked hard every minute I could and up until today; I stayed living with them. I look on Carl and Fiona as the parents I always thought I’d have. Finally, I have a mother and what a fabulous one she is.
My own father went to prison for two years but is out now and finding his way. It was easier for me to stay with the Grosvenors, although I’m still close to my dad and see him regularly.
When I went to university, they all encouraged me every step of the way. Three people watched me graduate with honours and now I’m due to take up a junior position in a law firm in London.
I’ve come a long way since I was here last, showing what determination can do for a person. I didn’t let what happened define me and here I am, moving in with my boyfriend Marcus Fisher who I love with a passion.
We met at uni and have been inseparable ever since. He is also starting a new job, ironically with the police as a graduate entry. He hopes to become a detective one day and I think it’s an honourable thing to do.
So, here we are, right back where it started and I’m taking a moment to accept that this it, my moment of reckoning.
“Excuse me.”
I turn and see an elderly man holding a folder in his hand and he smiles warmly. “Good morning, I’m Keith Wickham, the chairman of the local neighbourhood committee. I just wanted to welcome you to Meadow Vale.”
“Oh, hi, I’m Lola.”
“I’m pleased to meet you, Lola, are you moving in alone?”
He looks concerned and I smile. “No, my boyfriend will be here after work.”
He visibly relaxes and says with interest. “What does he do, work that is?”
“He’s training to be a policeman and I’m a junior lawyer.”
He chuckles and I wonder if I’ve said anything funny. Then he smiles as a woman around the same age as him, arrives by his side. “Honestly, Keith, I leave you for one second and you’re already chatting up a beautiful young woman.”
He smiles and as I see the look they share, it melts my heart. They’re in love.
The woman holds out her hand and says sweetly, “I’m Verity. I’m married to Keith, and between me and you, we’re newlyweds. We’ve just got back from our honeymoon in Scotland.”
“Congratulations.”
I smile because they look so happy it’s infectious and then Keith says with interest, “You should meet Jasmine, she’s a lawyer, a good one at that. You would have a lot in common.”
“I’d like that.”
Verity nods with enthusiasm. “Why don’t you settle in and maybe drop round tomorrow evening to meet the rest of the neighbours. They’re a lovely bunch and will be pleased to have a new face to gossip about.”
They share a laugh and I feel a warm feeling inside. This is what I wanted. I knew I’d find it here.
The couple move off and I hear her whisper, “Are you going to tell her what happened in that house?”
“Shh, Verity, you know we don’t talk about that, the poor girl would have nightmares.”
My heart quickens as I turn back to the pretty pink door and hesitate, the key shaking in my hand.
For a moment, I stand and collect my thoughts before I insert the key in the lock and the door swings open. I swallow hard as I see the familiar staircase, although now a soft grey carpet feels comfortable against my feet. Nervously, I start my tour of a place I never really got to know. The kitchen, the living room and the little study set in the furthest corner, all seem alien and unfamiliar.
My heart pounds as I take my first step up a staircase I thought I’d never see again. The memories swirl around me like a dangerous mist, and I’m unsure what I’ll feel when the fog clears and reveals the terror of my past before my eyes.
As I turn the handle on my old room, my heart quickens and I shut my eyes tightly as I’m transported back in time. Will it be the same, will it break me?
As I step inside, I just see a light and airy room bare of any furniture and just the shutters to remind me I’m in the same place.
As I move across to the window, I have a flashback to the time I waved my red t-shirt and look at the gardens of the houses opposite. They are more established and there are even two trees that weren’t there before. I wonder if the people that lived there are the same? Maybe they moved on, maybe they stayed. It will be interesting to find out.
There is one more room I need to see before I can say I’ve faced my fears and the nightmare is truly over.
My heart beats frantically as I approach the room of my worst nightmare and the scene of my lowest point in life.
When I turn the handle of the room I feared most, I step inside and feel—nothing. I have no feelings at all as I look at a room that is nothing like the one I left. Bold wallpaper decorates the once bare walls and a bright blue carpet covers what was once bare boards. There is no furniture, just a newly installed set of mirrored wardrobes and as I look around me, I feel finally free.
It’s gone.
The memory, the pain, the suffering and the self-loathing. This is now my house of new beginnings and I knew I would find peace here.
A knock on the door makes me jump and I think back to the last time I heard it.
A little nervously, I head back the way I came and answer the door, seeing the removals man on the doorstep.
“Is everything ok, love, would you like us to move the stuff in?”
Flinging the door wide open, I positively beam at him. “Yes please, I can’t wait to get started.”
Yes, I’ll be happy here - we’ll be happy here because this is where my path in life was determined. I always wanted to be one of the people who lived a happy life here. Now I am and I will make it the happiest, most successful one I can.
The End
Thank you for reading.
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Thank you
I feel very fortunate that my stories continue to delight my readers. I couldn’t do it without your support, and I thank every one of you who has supported me.
For those of you who don’t know, I also write under another name. S J Crabb.
You will find my books at sjcrabb.com where they all live side by side.
As an Independent Author I take huge pride in my business and if anything, it shows what one individual can achieve if they work hard enough.
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With lots of love and thanks.
Sharon xx (M J Hardy)
Ps: M J Hardy is a mash up of my grandmother’s names. Mary Jane Crockett & Vera Hardy. I miss you both so much & wish you knew this chapter in my life. One of my fondest memories is sitting in my grandmother’s rocking chair by her gas fire, reading her collection of Mills & Boon books when I was about 12 years old. I wonder what she thought of that – I dread to think!
Check out my other books
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