My laden backpack feels unnaturally heavy, as though the books are super-weighted, but if something has been planted in them, the discovery will have to wait until later. First things first. And the first thing now is getting the last thing I need from this so-called school.
The kids hanging in the clearing watch me plod into their midst with the barest flicker of interest. These ones have not been taken by the nanos; not yet, anyway. They’ve been taken by the drugs. The pungent odor of weed drifts on the air, along with their lazy chuckles, and I approach the first knot of stoners with something like relief.
I say, “Hey.”
“Kit?”
It’s only then that I notice the girl I’m standing next to is Melissa. I stare at her, uncomprehending. How can she be here?
“Kit? What’s up?”
Someone else says, “You know this guy?”
“I used to,” she says.
“Melissa,” I say. “Hi.” I fix my gaze on her face, and it’s like a magnet finding metal. There’s an actual force, irresistibly pulling me into the field of her being.
She blinks and exhales a fluttery little laugh. “So. Got some studying to do?”
A few more chuckles circle the group, and I say, “What do you mean?”
“Um, your backpack, Kit. Looks like you’ve got half the library stuffed in there.”
“Oh. That. Never mind. Do you know who deals weed and meth around here?”
She shakes her head. “What?”
“I’d like to buy some.”
She takes hold of my arm and pulls me aside. “Kit,” she whispers, “what’s the matter with you?”
Her touch is amazing. Electricity zings through my arm, fires nerve endings, arcs straight into my heart. It’s unbelievable, as though her touch alone has sparked a circuit that could neutralize the nanos, melt them into nothing. “Wow,” I breathe. “Will you come with me?”
“What? Where?”
“To the mountain.”
She shakes her head. “Something’s wrong with you, man.” Her hand drops away and her eyes narrow. “Are you really into this stuff now, Kit?”
The withdrawal of her touch leaves me cold and weary. “No. Well, yes, sort of. I just need some for an…experiment.”
Her brow wrinkles and she gnaws on her lower lip. I used to kiss that lip. I lean forward and brush my mouth across hers.
She steps back. “What did you do that for?”
I shrug.
She folds her arms across her chest and looks around to see if anyone has noticed me kiss her. Then she looks back at me. “I think you should go.”
“I will. But I need the stuff.”
“Fine. Whatever. It’s none of my business, is it? See that guy over there in the black jacket?” She points.
“Yeah.”
“Ask him. He usually has everything.”
“Will he sell to me?”
Her gaze sweeps over me and she smiles. “Jeez. Maybe not. He’ll probably think you’re a narc.”
“I’m not a narc.”
The smile fades. “No. But you are…something.” Her foot taps the ground, beating out an impatient patter. “Fine,” she says. “Give me the money, and I’ll get it for you.”
“You will?”
“Yes. I don’t know why, but…Never mind. How much do you want?”
“Whatever I can get for fifty bucks. Is that enough?”
“It’ll get you something…not much.”
I dig my wallet out of my back pocket, extract the money and hand it to her. She saunters over to the guy in the black jacket. I see the money change hands, see her receive one tiny package, and another. And then she’s back, handing me two small bags. I stare at them, the crystallized lumps in one, the curled buds of plant matter in the other, and Melissa hisses, “Put it away.”
I stuff the bags in my pocket, and when I look up, she’s leaving.
“Melissa?”
She glances over her shoulder. “Bye, Kit.” She keeps going.
I can’t tell if the thick fog of disappointment in the air is coming from her or me.
I empty my backpack when I get home and stuff everything under my bed. Now what? I should finish my manifesto.
Category Five: Religion
I’m not a religious person I don’t go to a church though I did go to Sunday school for a while I do believe in a higher power which most people call God. Some people don’t believe in God because they think it’s a fairy tale or wishful thinking or something but so far as I can see life is mystery there’s got to be something bigger than us. if the universe started with a Big Bang, what made it go boom?
We studied religion in Social Studies I’ve watched some documentaries about it too. at this tiMe there are three main Western religions which are Christians, Jews, and Muslims. I don’t know why they’re called Western because they all started in an area we currently call The Middle East and all of them say Jerusalem is their Holy City and they fight over it. Go figure. There are other religions too, like Hinduism and Buddhism and stuff, plus there are Pagans which I think are people who believe the planet Earth is alive and it’s called Gaia. All religions believe there’s something bigger than puny people but they argue about who is right. they all got together one time to see what they agreed on. Here’s what they came up with: Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you. the Golden Rule if they all believe in it, then why don’t they follow it? people go to war about religion and blow each other up, but do they want someone to do that to them???? I don’t think so.
I hope by the time you read this people will have just one religion and that will be that. Or none. Possibly aliens will attack and fix this. maybe the only way the people of our planet will unite is if they’re attacked by an outside force that makes us look pretty stupid, doesn’t it?
In Hinduism they believe that people get reincarnated and if they’re right then I’ll back here soon in a different body in which case cloning me and getting my Mind back wouldn’t work would it!!! Is the mind the same as the soul? Maybe not. I think only the soul comes back and where you end up has something to do with your Karma. If you did something bad during this lifetime that would give bad Karma and it would stick with you into the next life until you balanced it by doing something good. This is why there’s a caste system in India. I wonder why more people don’t do real work as in grow food and make things? And spend more time together Most people in India are Hindus and it’s the oldest religion on the planet and they figure if you were crummy person last time around you’ll be born back into the low caste which is the Untouchables. These people are treated badly and live in extreme poverty but other Hindus there don’t really feel sorry for them since they figure they deserve what they got and things will be better in the next lifetime. Also, the cow is sacred in India so when people say, “Holy Cow!” that’s why. The only holy book I’ve got with me is the bible. Jews and Christians use it. Muslims use the Koran. One last thing on this category I know some religious people think if you kill yourself that’s very bad Karma or you will go to hell I’m not really killing myself I’m preserving myself Right?
I can’t keep writing. There’s plenty more for me to do, but I need to gather my thoughts. I sit on the bed and I guess I doze off because the next thing I know, Fred is standing beside me.
“You still sick, man?”
I rub my eyes and consider this. Was I sick? Yes, I had a stomach bug and now my body feels like sand runs in my veins; it’s far too heavy to move it from the bed. I nod.
“That’s too bad. I thought maybe we’d go out somewhere. Get a burger or something.”
I shake my head.
He sits down at my desk, tilts the chair back and locks his hands behind his neck. What does he want?
“Seen any good movies lately?” he asks.
“No.”
“I saw one the other day. It was pretty good. Sci-fi, lots of action. You’d like it.”
“Yeah?”
“For sure.” He glances at me, then asks, “How did your mountain report go? Get a good mark?”
“What?”
“You told me you had to write about snow on the mountains or your experience or something.”
“Why are you asking me this?”
He shrugs. “No special reason. Just thought we could talk a bit. You want to help me out with that?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, tell me something. What’s new? What’s happening? Whatever.”
“There’s nothing to tell.”
“No? Come on, there must be something. Hey, you remember when you were going to build a boat? I was thinking, maybe we could work on that together. It’s almost spring, and if we got the plans ready now, we could probably start building it soon. What do you think?”
“I don’t want to build a boat anymore.”
“Why not? It’d be cool. We make the boat, and then we could go fishing, right? Didn’t you want to make one of those old-school canoes out of cedar or something?”
My nightmare explodes in my mind, and goose bumps ripple over my skin. I stare at Fred. He knows about it? How?
“Kit? What’s wrong, dude?”
“How do you know about that?” I ask.
“About what? The canoe? You told me about it, remember?”
I didn’t tell him about it. I know I didn’t.
“So what do you say? You want to try it?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Why are you hassling me?”
Fred drops his hands and leans forward. “I’m not trying to hassle you, Kit. I’m just trying to…Man, I don’t know! I’m just trying to talk to you, okay? What’s up with you anyway?”
“I won’t be here.” Shit! Shit! I said that out loud? Did I?
“What do you mean you won’t be here?”
I did say it out loud. I am so stupid. Think, Kit. Think. “I mean I won’t be here because…I’m thinking of going traveling. For the summer.”
He grins. “Really? That’s awesome. Who’s going with you?”
“Ike.”
Fred says, “Yeah? Don’t think I’ve met him. What about Ben? Is he going too?”
“Maybe.”
“Good stuff, man. So what’s it going to be, a backpacking trek or a road trip? Where are you guys going?”
I shrug. “We haven’t decided for sure. Maybe backpacking.”
“That’s cool. Have you told Mom and Dad yet?”
“Nope.”
“Well, just in case they think it’s a bad idea, let me give you some advice. If I were you, I’d mention it soon so you’ve got a few months to work on them.”
I don’t have a few months to work on anything, but I don’t say this out loud. I only say, “Good idea.”
Fred nods. “You want me to be there when you tell them? Back you up?”
“Sure.”
“Excellent.” He looks as if he wants to say something more but doesn’t know what. He starts whistling and tapping his fingers on my desk. Then his hand bumps the mouse and the screen flashes awake, displaying a web page on nanotechnology. He starts reading.
“Screw off,” I say.
He startles and turns to me, frowning. “What?”
“I don’t like people looking at my stuff.”
He blinks. “Dude. It’s a website. What’s the big deal?”
“It’s on my computer.”
He holds up both hands, palms out. “Sorry. Didn’t know it meant so much to you.”
“It does. And it’s none of your business.”
He sighs. “Yeah? You know, you actually used to like me. Remember that?”
This is confusing. It’s as if we were playing basketball and then somehow we’re suddenly playing chess. I can’t think of anything to say to him.
Fred gets to his feet. “Whatever. You know, maybe you’d feel better if you had a shower. You look like hell, and you don’t smell too good either. Catch you later.” And he goes.
I lie back on my bed and try to figure out what’s going on with everybody. I can’t. Or maybe I just don’t want to face the fact that the entire world is screwed up, and the reason I have to go on my mission is so that one normal human will be preserved for the future.
The enormity of this realization washes over me in cold waves. It’s down to just me, Kit Latimer. Maybe Ike too, but that’s another thing; I haven’t heard from Ike since the day we took the Blackberry. Maybe he was caught and I’m on my own.
It’s too much. I can’t do it. Only maybe it’s like Frodo in The Lord of the Rings. He didn’t want to be a ring bearer, but it was his appointed task and he had to do it. I have to do this.
I haul myself off my bed and sit at the computer. I pull up my artifact list and skim through it. The only things still possible for me to buy are more books and the solar energy panel. Do I need more books? I don’t. Do I need the solar energy panel? I can’t even remember why we had that on the list. Something to do with powering the laptop computer, which I’m not getting anyway? Must have been that. So I don’t need it either. Which means all I have left to do is transfer the music onto the Blackberry, shoot a one-minute video of myself, finish writing the manifesto and pack everything onto the sled.