AS SHE HELD tight to Ryan’s broad shoulders, Meredith savored the sensation of his strong arms wrapped around her. She breathed in the scent of him and tried not to feel shock at the fact that she wasn’t freaking out. The intensity of her desire outweighed her potential nervousness, and he was being so damn sweet.
Even when she thought about it, the anxiety didn’t come. As if sharing the story of what had happened to her released the necessity for panic. The bottom line was she trusted this man. She trusted him not to hurt her, to respect her boundaries. That trust enabled her to let down her guard.
Maybe she’d regret it.
Maybe she should down a few slugs of vodka just to make sure she could go through with this.
No.
She wanted this. She wanted Ryan.
He walked into her bedroom with her legs wrapped around him, the first man to enter her private space. She was secretly glad that she’d gone with a queen bed when buying her furniture at a secondhand store after moving into the house.
The bedroom was her favorite space, but every bit of Ryan’s focus remained on her and not the decor of the room.
“You still doing okay?” he asked as he lowered her gently to her feet. She curled her toes into the vintage rug and nodded.
“I’m thinking about my dresser.”
He stared at her a moment, then let out a loud crack of laughter. “I must be more out of practice at seduction than I realized.” He flicked a glance over her shoulder. “It’s a fine dresser but...”
“Why do I blurt out the dumbest things to you?” She covered her face with her hands. “I was thinking about how I’m not panicking and then the fact that I’ve never had a man in my bedroom and then...” She shook her head. “I’m doing it again.”
“I’m the first man who’s been in your bedroom?” He gently gripped her wrists and pulled her hands away from her face.
She nodded. “Once I came back from college, I decided I was done with the fast lane. I haven’t even gone for a Sunday drive since then.”
“I like the driving image,” he told her with a grin. “I also like that I’m the first man to see your room. Nice quilt.”
“My grandma made it.” She swore under her breath. “Okay, now I’ve brought up furniture, panic attacks and my grandmother. Somebody muzzle me.”
“What do you want, Meredith?” The pads of his thumbs traced small circles against the sensitive skin on the inside of her wrists. “Right now. No past or future. This moment. You and me. What do you want?”
“Take off your shirt,” she told him before she lost her nerve to see what he looked like beneath his clothes.
His sexy half smile made her toes curl. “That a girl,” he said softly, then stepped back and grabbed the hem of his shirt, tugging it up and over his head.
Well, that had to be one of the best ideas she’d had in ages. She knew Ryan was fit, but seeing all those muscles under his smooth skin and the smattering of hair covering his chest was something else entirely.
“Wow,” she murmured, drinking in the sheer maleness of him. “Wait. Are you blushing?”
His big shoulders rose and lowered in a self-conscious shrug. Her mouth went dry. “Believe it or not, I’m not used to stripping down with an audience.”
“You might consider it more often.” She flashed a cheeky grin. “Could be an untapped source of alternative medicine, not to mention a great side hustle.”
“Sexual healing,” he added and began to hum the old classic as he moved toward her.
“You’re one hot doc,” she said as she smoothed her hands up the front of his body. “Figuratively and literally.”
“What next?” he said, nipping at the side of her neck. “Tell me.”
“I’d rather show you.” She pulled away and unzipped her dress, then slid the soft material down her hips. Her heart beat so wildly it was difficult to keep her focus steady. She felt as exposed as she ever had, standing in front of him wearing only a bra and panties. So much for the few seconds of thinking she’d make a good exhibitionist. “Show’s over,” she muttered, reaching behind her to flip back the quilt and sheets. “Hit the lights, Doc.”
“Easy there.” He took her hand before she could dive under the covers and tugged her forward. “What’s the hurry?”
“I’ll lose my nerve,” she said, then groaned as he pulled her fully against him. Damn, he felt so good—warm and strong. She wanted to devour him. “We can slow down when we get to round two.”
“This isn’t a race,” he said, then kissed her deeply. “Although it’s going to be hard to savor it with how much I want you.”
Goose bumps pricked her skin as he slid his hands around her, flicked open the clasp of her bra and kissed the sensitive skin below her ear. The fabric slid to the ground, and Ryan followed it, his gaze heavy-lidded as he knelt in front of her.
“Your leg,” she managed before her voice broke off. He curled his fingers into the waistband of her panties and pulled them off. She felt achy and hot in parts of her body that had been dormant for years.
“It’s fine,” he promised against her belly. His whiskers tickled her skin, triggering more goose bumps. “This is about you, Mer. I want to make you feel good. All you have to do is say the word and I’ll stop. You’re in control here. Always.”
“For the love of God,” she said, her voice hoarse, “don’t stop.”
Then his mouth was on her, and all the anxiety and worries flew out of her mind because she could only feel. And it felt right. Her muscles went liquid as he touched and tasted. She lost herself in the sensations swirling through her. The pressure built like a flood of water behind a dam until she couldn’t take it anymore and cried out her release. She felt rather than heard his groan of pleasure, like the moment was as good for him as her.
But now she wanted more. She wanted him.
Another wave of yearning pummeled her as he rose to his feet and lifted her onto the bed. She wanted him so much it should have scared her. Instead her mouth went dry as she watched him move.
He took a condom out of the wallet he’d fished from his back pocket, then took off his jeans and boxers. Meredith propped herself up on her elbows, too sated to be self-conscious of her body, and took a moment to admire him.
“You’re beautiful,” he whispered as he rolled on the condom.
“Back at you.” When he turned, she noticed the angry red scar that ran almost three inches down the back of his calf. She hated that mark, not because it marred his physical perfection. It was a reminder that he’d been through something no person should have to endure.
Then he joined her on the bed, hard and solid and exactly what she needed. She pushed all thoughts of either of their pasts to the back of her mind and concentrated on now. The past wasn’t going to ruin this moment. She wouldn’t let it.
They kissed and touched, a melding of hands and mouths until she pulled him closer.
She gasped with pleasure as he entered her and held on tight to his shoulders. He kissed her, and she could tell the need inside him matched her own. They moved together, and it was everything she hadn’t realized she wanted or needed. Heaven help her, she wanted it all. Ryan gave it to her, wringing more pleasure from her body before he shuddered with his own release.
As their breathing returned to normal, questions flitted through Meredith’s still-hazy brain. Had she made a terrible mistake? What now? What next? Then Ryan wrapped an arm around her and pulled her to him like it was the most normal thing in the world.
She should have protested, but exhaustion and satiated pressure quieted the voices in her head. Curling against him, cradled in the crook of his arm, was where she wanted to be.
“Thank you for letting me in,” he said softly into her hair.
Meredith sighed in response, allowing sleep to finally claim her.
RYAN WAS HALFWAY to town the next afternoon when he spotted the mobile health-care clinic. He drove past, his gut tight, then turned around at the next intersection. As he pulled to a stop across the street, he could see the line of people waiting outside the converted van, most of them either checking their phones or talking to a neighbor in the line.
Ten minutes passed, then fifteen, and still he sat in his car, unwilling to get out but somehow unable to drive away. He thought about the night of the shooting and everything that had been lost in those few, tragic minutes. Sweat beaded between his shoulder blades, despite the fact that the temperature had cooled by several degrees, and billowy clouds tumbled by overhead, the smell of rain ripe in the air.
Would those waiting in line leave if the skies opened up?
It was impossible to know the type or severity of the ailments people were being treated for from this distance, and Ryan hated the way curiosity plucked at his nerves, but he hated the nerves even more.
Finally, he got out and walked toward the clinic when he saw Paul Thorpe exit the van. The other man gave a cautious wave as Ryan approached. “Didn’t expect to see you here,” Paul said.
“I was heading to the hardware store.” Ryan shrugged. “Thought I’d at least check out your operation since I was driving right by.”
“I’ll give you the grand tour,” Paul said, then greeted a few of the waiting patients as he walked by.
Ryan followed him up the two steps into the van, relieved when his knee didn’t protest. The interior held a postage-stamp waiting area and exam room on either end. The walls had been fitted with rows of cabinets, and health-care posters hung on the pale-yellow walls.
“Get some rest, Stan,” Paul told a man who exited one of the exam rooms, buttoning a faded flannel over a dingy undershirt. “Your prescription should be ready within the hour, and the meds will get you back to normal in no time.”
“Thanks, Dr. Thorpe.” The man drew in a clearly labored breath. “I feel better already.”
As Stan exited the van, Paul motioned Ryan forward so he could see the exam room. He smiled at the woman wiping down the table and surrounding surfaces with a sanitary wipe. “Aimee, this is Dr. Ryan Sorensen. He’s visiting Magnolia for a few weeks from DC, where he heads up one of the busiest ERs in the region. Ryan, meet Aimee Baker, our managing nurse extraordinaire and...well...she’s my... I mean...we’re...”
Ryan turned to Paul and noticed the dignified doctor’s cheeks had turned an almost-violent shade of pink.
“We’re dating,” the pretty nurse with a mass of blond curls and a bright smile told Ryan.
“She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” Paul confirmed, then let out a sigh. “Turned me into a complete fool for love.”
“Good for you,” Ryan said, not sure whether to cringe or chuckle at the other man’s obvious infatuation. He glanced at Aimee. “Both of you, of course.”
“It’s nice to meet you, Dr. Sorensen.”
“Call me Ryan.”
“Aimee was instrumental in getting the funding for the clinic. Now she coordinates the schedule and appointments. She’s beautiful and a nursing superhero.”
“Hardly.” Aimee laughed and placed a hand on Paul’s arm. “But I appreciate it.” She lifted onto her toes to quickly kiss the doctor’s cheek. “Andrew Ramirez is up next. He’s here to have his sutures removed.”
Paul nodded. “Give me five minutes to show Ryan the setup.”
Aimee nodded. “I’ll get him set up in the other exam room.”
“Is it just the two of you?” Ryan asked when the nurse shut the door behind her.
“For the most part,” Paul said with a nod. “Aimee practically does the work of a full staff on her own. I know I sound like a lovestruck teenager, but I can’t help it. This place couldn’t manage without her, and I’m not sure how I made it so long on my own. You have anyone special in your life, Ryan?”
An image of Meredith appeared in his mind, but Ryan shook his head. “Relationships aren’t my thing.”
“You sound like I did before Aimee. All it takes is meeting the right person.”
“I’ll take your word for it.” Ryan massaged a hand along the back of his neck. He needed to change the subject away from his love life. He’d be leaving Magnolia soon and had too much baggage to think about anything but a temporary relationship, despite what his heart wanted. “How do you have time with your regular shifts at the hospital?”
“This is my day off,” Paul admitted with a rueful smile. “Our current budget doesn’t allow for two paid staff members.”
“I don’t get why you have such a crowd. People in Magnolia don’t believe in regular doctors?”
Paul shrugged. “Some do, some don’t. A lot of folks around here get nervous going to the doctor. The mobile unit feels like less of a commitment. Urgent care on wheels.”
“What happens when they need more intensive care?”
“I make a referral, same as any doctor with a private practice would do.”
Ryan thought about how many patients he’d seen at the ER with life-threatening illnesses or diseases that had progressed to advanced stages because they hadn’t gone for treatment until things became too hard to ignore.
There were plenty of reasons a person might not go to the doctor. Fear, finances, time off from work.
As if reading his mind, Paul said, “Our patients feel like they can come here and it’s not as nerve-racking as the hospital. We can’t treat everyone or every diagnosis, but we make a difference.” The man stifled a yawn. “Sorry about that. My shift ended last night at ten, but I didn’t get home until after midnight.”
“You need more help,” Ryan said absently.
Paul grinned. “Agreed. Do you happen to know any available medical professionals?”
Ryan rolled his eyes as the not-so-subtle hint in the other man’s tone. “You said you only run the clinic two days a week, right?”
“At the moment. We’re applying for more funding, so I might get enough money to actually pay for another doctor or nurse practitioner.”
“I’ll take the next shift,” Ryan offered suddenly. He waited for the panic to overtake him and breathed a relieved sigh when his heart continued to beat at a normal rate.
“Change of heart?” Paul frowned at him. “Not trying to look a gift horse in the mouth, but I thought you were determined not to get involved. Was my tour of our little facility that impressive?”
“I need to stay busy while I’m here,” Ryan said, and it wasn’t a complete lie. “I’ve been getting a little too cozy with my friend Jack Daniel’s, so...”
“We’re way more entertaining than liquor,” Paul told him with a laugh.
They discussed the specifics of what a typical day entailed, and Ryan agreed to meet Aimee at the scheduled location later that week. While Paul saw the patient, Aimee took down his email address so she could send over paperwork and gave him more details about what to expect.
After his time at the mobile clinic, he headed for town again, wondering what Meredith would think of his involvement. In truth, she’d been a motivating factor for him. Or more specifically, his feelings for her had.
One night together, and he felt like as much of a lovesick schoolboy as Paul. He’d left her house early that morning after their night together, and it scared the hell out of him how hard it had been to get in his car, even though he knew he’d see her again later that night.
Ryan was a solitary man. He liked his freedom and independence and the ability his career gave him to not make deep connections. Now he was counting the hours until he could return to her farm, emotionally dependent on a woman and a ragtag crew of rescue animals. His colleagues would have cracked up at the change in him.
Ryan didn’t like the thought that he was changing. He’d be going back to the city in a few weeks. Magnolia was a detour on the path he’d laid out for his life. He couldn’t allow it to be any more than that.
He wouldn’t allow it.
Volunteering at the medical clinic hadn’t been in his plan, but maybe it would remind him of his real life. A reminder he needed so he didn’t become too close to Meredith. Sex was one thing. Anything more was off the table.