“ARE YOU SURE you’re okay with this?” Meredith placed a hand on Carrie’s arm the following Saturday morning as they watched a dozen strangers circle around the front yard of Niall’s home. Today was the estate sale. Most of the furniture and belongings they hadn’t already given away were being sold. Meredith couldn’t imagine her childhood home being emptied in this way. “If you don’t want to be here, I can handle it.”
“We can handle it,” Avery added, coming to stand on Carrie’s other side.
“I’m fine.” Carrie’s voice sounded hollow but steady.
They’d finally gotten the go-ahead to put the house on the market from the probate judge, and the first step was this weekend’s estate sale. They’d talked about hiring someone to help with pricing and to handle the actual transactions. Carrie’d insisted that she knew more about the items than a professional would, and they could avoid paying a percentage to an outside agent if they did the work themselves.
“Are you sure?” Avery drew in a deep breath. “It’s weird to see people going through his stuff. And I didn’t grow up with it.”
They’d advertised the sale online, and Meredith couldn’t believe how many people had shown up. It helped that the day was perfect, the rain of the past few weeks giving way to a bright spring morning with the fresh smell of new grass and budding flowers filling the air. The scents evoked memories of riding her bike through these streets as a girl and imagining herself living in one of the grand houses that encompassed the neighborhood. Sometimes she’d stayed out for hours, the only way to be ensured of privacy. Her house had always been filled with boys and their games.
She’d known this was the Reed house. Everyone in town knew where Niall and his family lived. At the time, it had been one more thing to make her resent Carrie—her life as the pampered daughter of Magnolia’s most illustrious resident. It never occurred to Meredith that a perfect facade might hide just as much discontent as she felt in her life. She also was coming to understand that her childhood had been a happy one despite the pain of her mother walking away. It may not have always felt like it, but she realized her father—the man who had raised her—had done his best.
As the only girl, it seemed to Meredith that she felt the loss in a particularly deep way. But each member of her family had suffered and coped with the abandonment as best they could.
Theo had remained in town even after his crew finished the roof. He was helping their father with a few projects around the house, and Meredith enjoyed spending more time with him. Erik was scheduled for a visit with his family in a few weeks. It would mark the first time all of them had been together in Magnolia in years.
“I like the idea that everything is going to homes where people will treasure it.” Carrie sighed. “Most of it holds memories I’d prefer to forget. Or maybe that’s what I’m telling myself.” She turned to survey the house’s exterior. “Everything about this place feels distant to me now. I’m not the same person as the girl who lived there.”
Meredith cringed as one of the shoppers picked up a vintage clock that had fascinated her since she’d first seen it. “I know I’ve said it before, but I’m sorry I was such a jerk to you when we were younger.”
“You weren’t that bad,” Carrie said, always ready to forgive.
Avery barked out a laugh. “Even you can’t sell that line of bull.”
“Hey.” Meredith reached around Carrie to flick Avery’s shoulder. She wore a pair of dark pants and a silk shirt that would probably be ruined by the end of the day. Carrie was dressed in one of her usual floral-print skirts and a fitted white T-shirt, looking both boho chic and pulled together. Meredith couldn’t compare to either of them on the style front, so she didn’t bother. She’d spent the early morning out with the dogs and still wore the faded jeans, baggy T-shirt and hikers she’d put on for the daily chores.
“Don’t deny it,” Avery said with a laugh.
“I’m not.” Meredith crossed her arms over her chest. “But it’s rude of you to mention it when Carrie is being so magnanimous.”
“Big word,” Carrie murmured. “I like it.”
Meredith flicked her arm, as well. “I use plenty of big words. In fact, my lit professor...” She broke off as both women turned to her.
“What professor?” Avery demanded, arching a brow.
“What kind of lit class?” Carrie echoed.
Meredith had forgotten that she’d kept her college courses a secret. Embarrassment washed over her at the thought of her sisters thinking her stupid for working toward her degree.
“I’m taking a few classes through an online program.”
“What classes?”
“What program?”
“Stop with the interrogation.” She threw up her hands, then crossed them again only to lower them to her sides, nerves pinging along her spine. “I’m going for a degree in business—nonprofit management to be specific.” She turned her gaze to a new crop of shoppers. “Those ladies look like they’re ready to start a fistfight with anyone who gets in their way.”
“No changing the subject,” Avery said, then nudged Carrie. “But have your phone set to video in case an estate-sale brawl breaks out.”
“No fights on the front lawn,” Carrie said, making Meredith want to smile despite her tension. “Mer, that’s so great about your degree program. How far along are you?”
Meredith shrugged. “It’s an accelerated program, so if I stick with it, I’ll graduate in two years. I had a few credits that transferred from when I was away at school, which has helped. It’s not a big deal.”
“It’s a very big deal.” Avery frowned. “I don’t understand why we’re just hearing about this.”
“Why would you care?” Meredith asked with an eye roll. “I’m not even sure why I’m bothering. It won’t change the fact that I clean up poop for a living.”
“Enough.” Carrie turned to face her, hands on her hips. “Enough of this selling-yourself-short routine, Meredith. You are talented and smart and have built an amazing rescue organization. A national foundation has short-listed you for its biggest grant. Everyone knows you do way more than scoop poop, and it’s past time you start accepting what we all know. You—” she jabbed a finger at Meredith “—are a badass.”
Avery nodded. “What she said.”
Meredith’s heart pounded, both hopeful and self-conscious at her sister’s assessment. She wanted to rebuff the claim. Denial was her go-to reaction to most things that made her uncomfortable. Compliments definitely made her uncomfortable. “Compared to the me who made self-sabotage into an art form, yes. I’ll give you that. But I don’t hold a candle to either of you.” She pointed at Carrie. “You’re already becoming one of the most acclaimed new artists on the East Coast.” Her gaze switched to Avery. “And you came here knowing no one and in less than a year have almost single-handedly been responsible for a miraculous turnaround in town. Downtown businesses are thriving, and new companies and potential residents are flocking to Magnolia. If that outdoor retailer really moves its headquarters here, you’re going to put us back on the map.”
“Remind me to hire you as a publicist if I ever want one,” Avery said, flashing a crooked smile.
“It would be an easy job,” Meredith said. “You’re amazing.”
“We think the same thing about you,” Avery answered.
Sudden and unwanted tears pricked the back of Meredith’s eyes. “What’s wrong with me?” she asked, then wiped her nose on the hem of her T-shirt.
“Other than the fact that you just snotted all over your shirt?” Carrie grimaced. “Nothing.”
Meredith chuckled. “Why can’t I manage to see myself the way other people do? I feel like such a fraud. Like at any moment someone is going to call me out on wanting more than I can handle.”
“It’s called impostor syndrome,” Avery said with a nod. “We all have it.”
“You two don’t.”
“Are you joking?” Carrie snorted. “Every time I pick up a paintbrush I wonder if that will be the day my creativity runs dry.”
“I keep waiting for Mayor Mal and the rest of the town council to escort me out of my cute little office in city hall.” Avery made a face. “I love that office.”
Meredith felt her mouth drop open. “Come on. You’re both saying those things to make me feel better.” She growled low in her throat. “Which you totally shouldn’t have to do.”
“We’re not,” Carrie promised. “But we have your back. It’s what women do for each other. You never experienced that because you grew up with men.”
“Men suck at talking about emotions,” Avery confirmed. “Even the good ones.”
Meredith thought about Ryan and his comment that he wanted things to continue. She still didn’t know exactly what he’d meant, and he hadn’t expanded on the topic. Oh, he’d told her plenty with his hands and his mouth. They’d spent the whole night after the wedding reception—and every night since—wrapped in each other’s arms. He could communicate plenty without saying a word.
Or at least that’s what she thought. In truth, he could mean that he wanted to continue having sex with her when he got a free weekend. He could mean any variety of setups, and she was too scared of having him walk away to ask for what she wanted.
More.
“Is that true, or is it what we tell ourselves to give them a pass?” Meredith posed the question but wasn’t sure if she was asking her sisters or herself.
“Good point,” Avery conceded. “No passes.”
“I didn’t give Dylan a pass.” Carrie tapped a finger to her chin. “I gave him a few chances to fix the mistakes he made, and I accepted responsibility for my part in what kept the two of us apart for so long...”
“I was perfect with Gray,” Avery said, then dissolved into a fit of giggles. “Hardly. That’s the thing, Mer. No one is perfect, but somehow you manage to see only the good in everyone else and the bad in yourself. It’s not that black-and-white.”
Carrie leaned in. “You have to believe you deserve the life you want if you’re really ever going to get it.”
“I believe...” Meredith began, then broke off. What did she really believe about herself? That she was someone who could easily be discarded or used? That she’d done something—just by being born—that had driven her mother away? That she was the type of woman men slept with but not the type they would ever choose if they wanted to truly build a life with someone? “I want to believe in myself the way the two of you do.” The way Ryan did.
“It’s not always easy, but you’ll get there.” Avery turned as one of the shoppers called to her. “I’m going to see what she needs, then do some mingling. A little talk about Niall’s legacy might drive sales, and I’m all about the Benjamins right now.” She did a little shimmy as she walked away, like she was dancing to hip-hop music that only she could hear.
“Niall’s legacy,” Carrie repeated, her voice barely above a whisper. “How those words have changed for me in the past year.”
“We’re his real legacy,” Meredith said suddenly, linking her arm with her sister’s. “Even if he was too self-absorbed to see it. You with your art, Avery’s spunk and...”
Carrie glanced at her. “And you?”
“My determination and resilience.” To Meredith’s surprise, her chest loosened as she spoke the words. They didn’t ring false or make her feel like she was trying on a mask. Despite everything she’d faced and the times she’d given up on herself, she knew those things to be true. She might not have all the confidence she needed, but she had a start.
“That’s right,” Carrie agreed with a smile.
RYAN WALKED OUT of the grocery store late that afternoon and drew in a deep breath, appreciating the sweet scent of spring on the air. He’d spent a few hours that morning helping with an urgent-care clinic and then taken Meredith’s three dogs, along with several of the current rescues, for a beach walk.
She’d texted that the estate sale at her father’s house was going well and keeping all three sisters busy, so he’d decided to stop by the market so that he could make dinner for her later.
In addition to her updates via text, he’d received another message from David Parthen at the hospital in DC. That message, along with the several before it, he ignored. He had an appointment with several members of the hospital board early next week, and Ryan had no doubt they’d want him to return to work.
His leg was almost back to full strength, and he felt as rested as he had in years. Of course, there was no way of knowing whether to attribute his reinvigorated attitude to the time off work or the way Meredith and life in Magnolia seemed to renew his spirit.
Maybe that was why he couldn’t bring himself to answer his boss with a specific date for when he’d be back to work.
Part of him didn’t want to return.
“Small-town life has turned you domestic.”
He whirled at the sound of the familiar voice.
“Emma?”
“Hey, bro.” His sister smiled a cheeky grin as she walked toward him.
He couldn’t believe he was really seeing her. She wore a striped T-shirt and dark jeans with sneakers and a ball cap covering her brown hair. She’d come to see him when he was discharged from the hospital after the shooting. Things hadn’t gone well during that visit. He’d been surly and gruff, snapping at her as she cleaned up his condo and prepped food so he’d have healthy meal options. He’d been an ungrateful ass and owed her an apology, although she didn’t seem to be holding on to any lingering resentment.
“Is that fresh cilantro?” She nodded toward the bunch of leafy greens peeking out over the top of the brown bag he carried. “I’m impressed.”
He laughed, then shifted the bag so he could wrap an arm around her. “You don’t even know what I’m doing with it.”
“Salsa, I assume.” She squeezed his shoulders, and it felt good to hug her and be surrounded with the citrusy fragrance she’d worn since they were teenagers. “What’s for dinner?”
“Shrimp tacos,” he told her, then pulled away. “Don’t try to distract me with small talk. What are you doing in Magnolia? Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” He arched a brow. “How did you know I’d be at the grocery store?”
Her grin broadened. “The tracking device the family implanted in you during the last board of directors’ meeting. Didn’t you notice the croissants tasted a little off?”
He fake-laughed at her obvious joke, although he wouldn’t put it past his mother to attempt to keep tabs on his every move. Her overbearing desire to give her opinion on all aspects of Ryan’s life was part of what kept him from wanting to be more involved in the family foundation.
He’d needed a clean break from his mother’s side of the family.
He knew—or thought—that Emma felt the same way. She’d chafed under the pressure of the family expectations just as much as he had. But then she’d shocked him by returning to the fold after graduate school to run the Howard Family Foundation.
Slowly they’d grown apart as she began to toe the family line more fully and he continued to distance himself. It still surprised him that the little sister who’d tagged along with him everywhere when they were kids had grown into a woman who wore designer pantsuits and kept her normally curly hair tamed into a sleek bob.
He missed Emma’s wildness and sense of whimsy. He was glad their mom and the rest of the stuffed shirts at the foundation hadn’t managed to force her to abandon her sardonic sense of humor.
“Seriously, Em. Is everything okay?”
Her smile dimmed the slightest bit. “Never better. I had a free weekend and wanted to check out the town that has captured your attention so fully. Really, Ry. When you told me you were coming down to the North Carolina coast to rest and recover, I figured you’d be crawling out of your skin with boredom within the first few days. Instead, it looks like you’ve gone native. When was the last time you shaved?”
Ryan scrubbed a hand along his stubbled jaw. “A few days ago. Don’t make this a bigger deal than it is.” Annoyance crawled along the back of his neck. “I had to take time off work for my leg to heal. It was easier to do it out of the city, so I wasn’t tempted to sneak in for a shift.”
She studied him for a long moment. “I don’t think that’s it. You actually look good despite needing a shave and a haircut. Way better than I expected.”
“Is that supposed to be a compliment?”
“And you’re volunteering as a doctor and then working at an animal shelter as a side hustle? I wanted to see it for myself. It’s hard to believe you could survive without the adrenaline rush of the city and the ER.” She waved a hand in the general direction of the parking lot. “This meeting is pure coincidence. I stopped by the store for snacks for the drive home.”
“You’re already leaving? Why didn’t you call to say you were driving down?”
“Because you would have told me not to come.”
He opened his mouth to argue, then shut it again. That’s exactly what he would have said. Ryan loved his sister but having her here was a shot of reality he wasn’t ready to handle. Not yet.
“It’s good to see you, Em,” he answered instead.
“Of course it is.” She winked. “You missed me, even though you acted like an ass the last time we were together. By the way, I met your Meredith.”
“How?” Ryan choked out the word, trying and clearly failing to keep his features neutral, based on the knowing look Emma gave him.
“Niall Reed’s estate sale.”
He narrowed his eyes. “That’s why you came this weekend.”
“She’s adorable.”
“She’s not mine.” He started walking toward his car, remembering all the reasons he stayed away from his family. Both Emma and his mother were too nosy for their own good, and his father could find fault in anything Ryan did.
“Then, you’re a fool,” she answered simply, falling into step beside him.
He opened the door to the back seat and placed the grocery bag on the floor. “Did you introduce yourself?” He couldn’t keep the worry from his voice. “Does she know who you are?” And about our connection, he added silently.
“I bought a really cool clock.” She inclined her head toward her Toyota SUV, parked a few spaces away. “It was a great deal.”
“Don’t play games, Em.” His sister had always loved to goad him. “Meredith can’t know about my affiliation with the foundation.”
“What if she gets the grant?” Emma’s smile faded, and her gaze sharpened. “We have one more site visit to do, but she’s got a good shot at it. Her rescue is exactly the type of organization that fits with our mission.”
“There’s no reason for her to find out,” he argued.
“You’re on the board of directors,” Emma countered.
“She’ll have the money by then.” He shook his head. “It won’t matter.”
“Do you believe that?”
“Just don’t tell her yet.” He looked up at the water tower that sat over the town like a watchdog. “I like that she doesn’t know, and I figured that by the time she discovered my involvement with the board that I’d be back in DC.”
“You don’t seem to be chomping at the bit to return to your old life.”
“I get cleared next week, so it’s only a matter of time.”
“Unless you don’t go.”
The words made his blood run cold. “That’s not an option. The hospital needs me.”
“People need doctors down here, too.” Emma threw up her hands. “Obviously since you’ve been seeing patients on a volunteer basis.”
“Get a hobby, Em. You know way too much about my life.”
Her eyes darkened as she took a step back, like his words had landed a physical blow. Immediately he regretted them, although he wasn’t sure why. The backbone of their sibling bond felt like it was wavering. Neither liked to talk about the dysfunction of their childhood, but it was always a part of their bond nonetheless.
“I’m too busy being the dutiful daughter for a hobby. Someone in the family has to toe the party line.” He heard and ignored the thread of resentment in her tone.
“No one is forcing you.”
She moved farther away. “Great to see you, too, Ry. Call me when you’re back in the city. I’ll be there for a few days next month to visit a shelter we’re funding.”
“Emma, come on. I’m sorry. Don’t go away mad. You came all this way. Do you want to have dinner or something?”
She shook her head. “Not a good idea since you want to hide who you are with your girlfriend.”
“Not my girlfriend,” he felt compelled to point out.
“Whatever you say.” She leaned forward. “Remember, dear brother. Denying something doesn’t make it less true. You’re a member of our family as much as me, and I know you like this woman. Fool yourself as much as you want. You aren’t fooling me.”
He clenched his jaw but didn’t answer because there was no adequate response to that truth.
“Seeing you is a bonus, but I came to Magnolia for some time alone. It’s a great town, and I’m a little obsessed with Niall Reed’s house. You know it’s going on the market in a few weeks?”
“Are you looking to relocate?” He studied his sister, noticing for the first time the tension around the edges of her mouth. “It would be a challenge to be the favorite child from several states away,” he pointed out.
“I know,” she whispered, then patted his shoulder. “Good to see you, Ry. Stay happy.”
He grabbed her arm. “Emma, I’m really sorry I made you mad. I’m here if you need me.”
She smiled, but this time it didn’t make it all the way to her eyes. He hated the sadness he saw there. Hated that he’d contributed to it by insensitive behavior. “I know. I’m spending one night in town. You free for breakfast tomorrow?”
“Yes. Eight at the diner across the street?”
“See you then.”
She walked away, waving over her shoulder, and Ryan still couldn’t quite believe she’d shown up in Magnolia, another reminder that the life he’d created these past few weeks wasn’t real.
He sighed and climbed into the car. The temperature hovered in the mid-seventies and sweat dripped between his shoulder blades as soon as he closed the door. He turned on the ignition and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Cranking up the air with one hand, he dialed David Parthen’s number with the other.
As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t avoid his life forever.