What did “later” mean?
Sara leaned back against the couch cushion, drawing her legs up under her. She was still trying to figure out if later meant “we’ll talk about this later” or “something’s going to happen between us later” because there had been something happening.
“Hey, you still listening or have you zoned out again?” Samantha handed Sara a glass of wine, then sat on the other side of the couch.
“Sorry.” Sara winced and focused on her friend. She hadn’t told Samantha what happened with Warrick and she wasn’t sure she wanted to. Maybe she was reading a lot more into it than it was. Samantha wouldn’t laugh at her, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to embarrass herself if Samantha didn’t think what happened was as significant as Sara did.
She distracted herself removing her prosthesis and setting it and the sleeve that went under it next to the couch. She’d been in it all day and her arm needed a break.
“Okay now, tell me what’s bothering you.” Before Sara could ask what she meant, a wail came through the baby monitor and Samantha jumped up. “Hold that thought.”
Minutes later Samantha buzzed through the room, stopping long enough to pause and hand baby Joey to a startled Sara, then headed for the kitchen.
Sara didn’t have time to brace herself for the ache that hit her as Joey settled into her arms, his bottom resting on her left arm, his small head cradled in her right hand. She closed her eyes and focused on the feel of his weight as he snuggled into her, his face brushing against her cheek. The feeling was heaven and hell, all wrapped in one. Because she wouldn’t ever have this herself.
Samantha came back with a bottle and held it out to Sara.
“What is that?” Sara didn’t move to take the bottle, but Samantha took one of the couch pillows and nestled it next to Sara, then shifted Joey so he leaned onto the pillow.
She pressed the bottle into Sara’s hand. “A bottle. Feed him.” She moved Sara’s hand toward the baby, who eagerly began to drink.
“Wait, don’t you breastfeed him?” Joey didn’t seem to mind the bottle or the fact that Sara was a bit awkward in juggling the pillow and bottle setup.
“I do.” Samantha pointed toward her glass of wine. “But not if I’ve had a drink in the last hour. I don’t usually drink if I expect to need to nurse him, but he woke up early. He’s cluster feeding. It’s a thing.” She shrugged. “I keep some pumped milk in the freezer and he’s used to a bottle when the sitter comes.”
Sara leveled Samantha with a look. “You’ve had two sips of wine.”
Samantha grinned. “Feeding babies is good for you. It makes you all loosey goosey and happy and shit.” She waved her hands around in waves in front of her and Sara couldn’t help laughing. But Samantha was right. Feeding a baby was magical.
“All right, now that my baby has you all loosened up and I’ve plied you with wine, tell me what’s got you so distracted.”
Sara sighed. It wasn’t worth fighting it any more. Samantha was relentless when she wanted her friends to open up. “I think something happened with Warrick. I mean, it did happen. Something happened. I just don’t really know what.” She was babbling. Not to mention, making no sense whatsoever.
Samantha waved a hand at Joey. “Listen he can’t understand what we’re saying yet. It’s A-okay if you want to get into specifics.”
“You’re crazy.” Sara said this with a smile.
“Point taken. Still, start from the beginning.”
Sara recapped the incident at the lab with Warrick, including the employees watching them and his growled warning of “later.”
“Ohh, later sounds good.” Samantha said this with a little shimmy like she was imagining all the things later could entail.
“But maybe he means later like we’ll talk about what an idiot you are for fantasizing about me like that later. Or we’ll talk about how you’re fired because you made this uncomfortable between us later. Maybe those are the laters.”
Her friend’s face softened, the amusement gone. “Tell me what happened with your fiancé, Sara.”
Sara looked down at Joey who’d fallen back to sleep in her arms. His tiny mouth was open, the bottle still resting on his tongue. He looked content, happy. He clearly didn’t have a care in the world, just the way it should be for him.
Samantha reached over and took him, bringing him to her shoulder where she rubbed and patted his back, bringing out a soft burp. She didn’t let up on Sara, though. “Clearly, he left you with rejection issues.”
“He left.” Sara raised a shoulder. “What more is there to say?”
“How about how he left?”
Sara was quiet for a minute. When Mitchell had left her, she hadn’t had any girlfriends around to talk to about it. Her mom had been around but she hadn’t told her the details. She’d been in a military rehab facility surrounded by tough soldiers fighting their own battles.
“He was disgusted by my injury,” she said, looking at her arm. “He was on leave. He came to see me twice, but I could see the disgust in his eyes. See the way he tried to avoid looking at my arm. I’m pretty sure he didn’t even realize he was doing it, but he’d cover it with the sheet when we were talking.” She looked at Samantha and laughed, but the sound was bitter. “He’d tuck the sheet around it like he could tuck it away from sight and not have to see it.”
“What an idiot!” Samantha’s indignation made Sara laugh again, and this time it didn’t tastes as sour in her mouth.
When the laughter stopped, she met Samantha’s eyes. “It hurt so much.” Her admission was only a whisper, but it was out there. For the first time, she’d admitted how much it hurt to see the man she’d thought would be by her side no matter what happened, walk out the door. Walk out of her life.
Samantha took her hand. “I know it did, hon. I know.”
“I just don’t think I’m ready to risk that again. Not with Warrick. Not with anyone.”
“So what are you going to do?”
“I’ll keep hanging out with him. I like him. But, I just can’t let it go any further, you know?”
Samantha smiled, but there was a sadness to it that told Sara her friend was hoping for her to move past this sooner rather than later. She looked at the baby sleeping on Samantha’s shoulder. She wanted the same thing. Unfortunately, she just didn’t see herself moving on anytime soon. As much as she put on a good front, she wasn’t brave enough to watch a guy walk away from her again.