Sara switched the phone to her other shoulder before picking up a wooden spoon to stir the pasta she was cooking. “Yes,” she sighed, “it was an amazing kiss.” She was underselling the kiss. There was really no way to explain the things that man had done to her with his mouth. How his arms had felt around her. How her body had responded when he’d pulled her flush against him.
She dropped the spoon, jumping back as hot water splashed.
“I can’t believe you waited to call me.” Samantha said on the other end of the line. “You should have called me the minute it happened.”
“Oh, that wouldn’t have been awkward at all. Can you hang on a sec while I call a friend and tell her you kissed me brainless, Warrick? She’ll want to know all about this kiss. Yeah, that’s not awkward or weird at all.”
Samantha laughed. “You know what I mean.”
“Mm hmm, I do.” Sara turned the stove down and pulled the pasta off the burner. She needed to strain it, but she didn’t have her prosthesis on. Straining pasta was best done with her robotic hand attached. She’d lost her enthusiasm for a meal, anyway. Her stomach had been in knots for the last day. Ever since the kiss.
“Brainless, huh?”
“Brain. Less. Completely brainless.”
“Sooo, are you going to sleep with him?” Samantha was always direct.
“No! Are you kidding me? No.”
“I thought maybe you’d changed your mind.” Samantha sounded like she planned to try to make that change happen if it hadn’t happened already. Most likely, she did.
Sara didn’t answer as she padded to the living room and curled up on the couch. She’d fantasized about changing her mind but that was a long way off from going through with it. Being intimate just wasn’t something she was ready for. She had guts. She always had. But the thought of being with a man terrified the crap out of her.
“Let me ask you something,” Samantha said when she didn’t get a response. “Does Warrick ever make you feel unsure?”
As soon as Samantha asked the question, the answer popped into Sara’s head. She didn’t even have to think about it. The answer was no. Even when he’d pulled back from the kiss the day before, she’d had the sense it was about him. About the fact that he wasn’t ready to be with someone yet. She knew his wife’s death had hit him hard. There was no denying that. For whatever reason, he wasn’t moving on. And she respected that. It didn’t have anything to do with her or his level of attraction to her. It hadn’t been about her hand.
She’d done her best to brush off the kiss and continue as if nothing had happened. She knew if she were in his place, it was what she would want. She wouldn’t want someone making a big deal of things. But Samantha’s question made her realize, he hadn’t made her feel uneasy in the way Samantha was asking. She hadn’t felt rejected as a woman, the way she had when her fiancé had left her. She hadn’t felt unwanted and damaged.
“Well?” Samantha pressed. Sara could tell Samantha wouldn’t let go of this. Her directness had always been something Sara liked.
“No. He doesn’t make me feel bad at all.” She rushed to qualify that. “But that doesn’t mean I’m ready for anything to happen.” Just talking about Warrick gave her that fluttery stomach feeling she knew came with a new relationship. She had to remind herself, it wasn’t a relationship with him. Letting herself fall into the trap of thinking anything else would be dangerous. It would lead to hurt.
“That’s okay. But you can still let yourself live a little. You can practice being around a man again and feeling good about that. I have a feeling Warrick will be very good practice for you.”
“So, what, we’d just be friends who kiss sometimes? And practice hanging out together?” Could it really be that simple?
“Why not?” Samantha sounded so breezy and light, Sara found herself wondering the very same thing. Why not?