After a restless night Dani stepped outside at midmorning on Saturday to get the paper and discovered two little boys sitting on the front steps. She stared at Josh and Zack, then automatically looked around for some sign of their father.
“Dad’s not with us,” Josh said as if he, like his father, was capable of reading her mind.
“So I see. How did you get here?”
“Paolina brought us,” Zack said.
Dani fought the panicky feeling that had been automatic from the moment she met these two wonderful, emotionally scary kids. “She just left you on my doorstep?”
“We came to buy cat food,” Zack said. “Paolina said she’d get it at the grocery store, but the cats like the kind you have better.”
Dani nodded as if the explanation made perfect sense, which it obviously did to them. “Well, then, I guess you’d better come in and choose the flavors you want.”
“Anything but liver,” Josh told her. “That smells yucky.”
“Not to a cat,” Dani pointed out.
Both boys looked startled.
“I guess you’re right,” Josh said. “And it’s their dinner.”
Dani grinned at him. “Exactly.” She led the way into her pet supply room and pointed to the rows of gourmet cat food in cans and bags. “Can you two pick what you want on your own?” she inquired hopefully.
Zack gave her a shy look and, to her astonishment, slipped his hand into hers. “No, we want you to help. Okay?”
The warmth of that little hand tucked trustingly into her own brought on a flood of bittersweet memories. Every bit of instinct for self-preservation protested that she should make up a plausible excuse, walk away and leave the two boys to their shopping. One look into two pairs of hopeful eyes told her she couldn’t do it.
“I’ll help,” she said grimly.
The process of choosing took far longer than it should have. They claimed they wanted to learn about every single ingredient in every single brand she carried. She distrusted their enthusiasm, but their sweet little expressions were so innocent she chided herself for being overly suspicious.
When they had filled a shopping bag with their selections and had added toys for each cat, they stood back and admired their purchases.
“I think you two have made excellent choices,” she told them. “You’ve picked a good variety of very healthy cat food. Did you want me to send the bill to your dad?”
The two exchanged guilty looks.
“That’s okay,” Josh said. “We’ll pay for it. I mean, not right this second, but soon.”
Dani’s suspicions stirred again. “Is this coming out of your allowances?”
“Heck, no,” Zack said. “Dad’s coming to get us when he gets finished at the office. He’ll pay you.”
Dani stared at them in astonishment. “Your father is coming here?”
Two heads bobbed.
“When?”
“After he gets done at work.”
“Did he happen to mention when that would be?”
“Before lunchtime, I guess. He said we could all go out to eat together.”
Why that sneaky, low-down, devious snake. Obviously, Duke had plotted to leave the boys with her for an entire morning. How could he? What if she’d been called away on an emergency? What if she’d simply been too busy to look after them? She regarded the two boys, who were waiting quietly for her response, and sighed. There was no emergency, and she wasn’t too busy.
“Why don’t we take the shopping bag into the kitchen, and I’ll make us all some hot chocolate.”
“All right!” Josh said.
“And cookies?” Zack asked, only to be shushed by his brother with a warning that he wasn’t being polite.
“You’re s’pposed to wait till you’re invited,” Josh said.
“That’s okay,” Dani told them. “Actually, I was just thinking about baking some cookies.”
“Really?” Zack asked. “Chocolate chip?”
“Zack!” Josh protested.
Dani chuckled. “It’s okay. Chocolate chip are my favorite, too. I always keep a package of the slice-and-bake kind in the refrigerator.”
“We know how to do those kind,” Zack said proudly. “Paolina lets us.”
“Good, then you can help me,” Dani said, taking the package out and searching for a cookie sheet and a knife that would do the job without being too dangerous for clumsy little hands.
The morning passed in a blur of hot chocolate, cookies, laughter and talk of dinosaurs and spaceships. She hadn’t had so much fun since…
No, she told herself sternly. She wasn’t going to go there. Not today. Today she was simply going to enjoy the fact that two little boys with incredible imaginations and their daddy’s charm were sharing their lives with her.
Later she would try very hard not to let her heart break.
* * *
Duke surveyed the scene in Dani’s kitchen and smiled. His little plot was working out very nicely. Left to their own devices, he’d known that Josh and Zack could climb over any wall Dani tried to erect between them.
He’d given Paolina very explicit instructions to make sure that everything went off without a hitch. She was to leave the boys at Dani’s, then drive by twice over the next half hour to make sure they were inside. She had called him at the office to report that everything was muy bueno, very good.
Now that he had Dani guessing about his intentions, Duke had concluded that it was time to switch tactics once again. He intended to pester her like ants at a picnic. She’d been so sure she was in charge, that he’d accepted her terms for their relationship. He wanted to make certain she realized now that she’d been mistaken.
Today’s unscheduled visit from Josh and Zack was just the start.
“Having fun?” he inquired as he knocked on the screen door and entered the kitchen.
Dani had a streak of chocolate on her cheek, marshmallow on her lips and fire flashing in her eyes. Her laughter faded at the sight of him.
“You and I need to talk,” she said quietly. “Boys, can you put the rest of the cookies in the cookie jar for me?”
“Sure,” they said at once, far more eagerly than they’d ever responded to one of Duke’s directives.
As soon as she saw that they were doing as she’d asked, she walked into the living room. Duke followed, preparing himself for the barrage of questions he knew was coming.
“What on earth were you thinking?” she demanded the instant they were out of earshot of the boys.
“Excuse me?”
“I am not your baby-sitter.”
“Of course not.”
“I could have been out on a call.”
“That was a possibility,” Duke agreed. “Paolina was supposed to check to make sure you were here.”
“I never spoke to Paolina. I found your sons sitting on my doorstep, looking for all the world as if they’d been abandoned there.”
“Naturally, you took them in.”
“Well, of course I did. What was I supposed to do?”
“You could have called me to come and get them,” he said mildly.
Dani stared at him silently, then some of the fight seemed to drain out of her. “Yes, you’re right. I suppose I could have done that.”
“Any idea why you didn’t? I mean especially if having them here was a bother.”
“It wasn’t a bother, not like you mean.”
He nodded at that. “Good. I’m glad.”
“They’re terrific boys. You know that.”
“I think so.” He shrugged. “Well, if that’s all, I guess we’ll be on our way. I promised to take them to lunch.”
She actually grinned sheepishly at that. “I doubt they’re all that hungry. We’ve eaten a lot of cookies. It probably spoiled their appetite.”
“I don’t suppose missing lunch will kill them.” He paused and deliberately brushed a brotherly kiss across her cheek. “Thanks, again. How much do I owe you for the cat food?”
She stared at him, clearly flustered. Finally, she distractedly named an amount and accepted the cash. When he walked out the door, the boys in tow, she still looked as if she wasn’t quite certain what had happened. Duke grinned all the way home.
Over the next few weeks he could see that the new approach was working better and better. Dani brightened perceptibly at the sight of him, then turned right around and pretended she couldn’t stand to be near him. He knew it was pretense, because he made a point of using any legitimate excuse at all to touch her.
A quick kiss of a greeting, a seemingly inadvertent brushing of their knees when they were cleverly and deliberately seated next to each other at the Adams gatherings he’d started attending again, a lightning-fast caress of her cheek as he said good-night. She trembled visibly at each fleeting contact. Color bloomed in her cheeks. Exasperation and yearning warred in her eyes.
Of course, the game was taking its toll on him as well. Some nights he went home so aroused, it took a jog around the house and an icy shower before he could settle down and have any hope at all of getting to sleep. When he realized he was tempted to start warming a pan of milk at bedtime, he knew he was in serious trouble.
Yes, indeed, the more Duke saw of Dani Adams, the more intrigued he was. He hated that no matter what he tried, she continued to look a little aloof, a little sad. In the midst of the wildest, noisiest family celebration, she kept mostly to herself. Not even Sharon Lynn’s or Jenny’s best efforts could penetrate her shell for long.
After the cookie-baking episode, she was more careful than ever, it seemed, to avoid spending any time whatsoever with his sons, so careful that it was clear she desperately wanted to gather them into her arms for hugs. Only a fool wouldn’t recognize that she was a woman just made for mothering. It was in her eyes as she watched them, a longing so deep, so fierce that it reaffirmed Duke’s determination to make her their mother.
The boys sensed those maternal instincts, too. They gravitated to her at every Adams family event and though she was as skittish as a horse around a rattler, sooner or later she came around. Every single time.
Josh and Zack made her smile when no one else could. The smiles were cautious, tentative, to be sure, but they lifted Duke’s spirits as much as any oil strike he’d ever made.
Dani seemed to be the only one who didn’t get how much her warmth was valued. On some level, she clearly blamed herself for getting too caught up in the lives of those girls she’d ultimately lost. She thought she was the one who’d hurt them, when the truth was it was their father’s cavalier attitude that had set them all up for anguish.
Duke would never make that mistake. He was a decisive man, always had been. Once he made a commitment, he stuck to it, for better or worse. He would have stayed married to Caroline, enduring the cold emptiness of the relationship if that had been what she wanted. Duty and honor were that important to him.
Now he wanted Dani Adams to become a significant part of Josh’s and Zack’s lives, a permanent part. The boys needed a mother’s love. They needed Dani. And he would do whatever was necessary to get her for them. He owed it to them after the mess he’d made of his marriage to their mother. It was as simple and clear-cut as that for him.
His own feelings toward her were more complex. He enjoyed Dani’s company. He wanted her in his bed. He had vowed to himself that he would always treat her the way she deserved to be treated. The only thing he couldn’t promise her was love. He hoped that the things he could offer would be enough for a woman who understood the meaning and importance of family.
Thanksgiving was coming and he decided the holidays were the perfect time to step up his campaign, turn up the heat another notch, so to speak. Christmas would be the ideal, most romantic time to announce an engagement. He made that his goal and set up a strategic plan that corporate executives—Jordan included, he thought with a grim smile—would have envied.
Her family, bless them, cooperated by issuing an invitation for Thanksgiving dinner at White Pines. The message had been relayed by Jordan just that afternoon. Duke mentioned it to the boys when he got home that night, certain of their response.
“So, what do you think?” he asked.
“Cool,” Joshua said. “Will there be turkey and dressing and pumpkin pie?”
“I imagine so,” Duke said. He was fairly confident that this family would celebrate with old-fashioned excess when it came to their Thanksgiving feast.
“Will Dani be there?” Zachary asked.
“Of course.”
“Are you gonna kiss her again?” Zack asked, proving that he was as adept as any Adams at sneaking up on people.
Duke held back a grin. “Maybe.”
“Does that mean you and Dani are gonna get married?” Joshua asked. “I haven’t got all this grown-up stuff figured out yet.”
“Kissing sometimes leads to marriage,” Duke conceded carefully.
“But what about you and Dani?” Josh persisted. “Are you guys gonna get married?”
Duke knew better than to set them up for disappointment. His plans were a little too iffy to make a firm declaration on the subject just yet, especially when anything he said was likely to be repeated. He could just imagine Dani’s reaction to hearing the news of their impending wedding from someone else.
“We’ll see,” he equivocated.
More than once after a frustrating day behind his desk, he’d lain awake at night wondering if he really could get her riled up enough to marry him. He figured she was the kind of woman who was going to go down the aisle still denying that she was in love, especially with him. Persuading her otherwise might be challenging enough to make him forget all about bringing in another gusher.
If it turned out he was wrong about keeping his interest in Dani alive for all eternity, at least the boys would have a mom again. He would be free to get back to the kind of work he loved. Even as the unfairness and selfishness of that plan struck him, he tried to calculate how to make it work.
He felt Zack tugging on his sleeve to get his attention. “Then she would be our mom, right?”
“Yes, if it happens, she would be your mom. Would that be okay with you guys?”
Joshua shrugged. “I suppose.”
Duke was startled by the less than enthusiastic endorsement. Had he read the signals all wrong again? “I thought you liked Dani,” he said.
“I do, but moms go away sometimes,” Josh said, fighting tears. “It might be better if Dani was just our friend.”
Holy kamoley, Duke thought. This was an angle he’d never expected. He gathered both boys close.
“Not every mom goes away,” he said carefully.
He’d tried very hard not to blame their mother for running out. In fact, he’d bent over backward to shoulder most of the responsibility for driving her away. If she ever came back, he didn’t want the boys to hate her for something for which much of the blame was his.
He struggled for an explanation that would console and offer hope at the same time. “We’ve talked about this before. Sometimes things happen between grown-ups that can’t be helped. When it does, one of them goes away. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t love them when they’re around or treasure the good memories you have. You have to take risks or you’ll go through life being very lonely.”
“No way,” Zack protested fiercely. “We’ve got each other. We’ll never be lonely. We don’t need anybody else.”
“If that were true, would you be having such a good time with your new friends here in Los Pinos?”
Both boys hesitated as they considered that.
“I guess not,” Josh conceded.
“Someday you’re going to be a grown-up, and you’re going to want even more than good friends. You’re going to want somebody to love. I want you to believe that taking a chance on love is worth the risk, worth whatever hurt might happen.” He grinned at them. “Because, you know what? Sometimes that risk pays off big time and lasts forever.”
“Like with you and us,” Joshua said.
Duke’s eyes swam with unshed tears. “Exactly,” he whispered. “Exactly like us.”
And if he had his way, Dani would become a part of that tight-knit circle just as soon as he could make it happen. Despite what he’d just told his sons about putting everything on the line for love, the only thing he wasn’t willing to risk was his own heart. He’d had years of evidence to analyze. He was pretty sure he didn’t even have one.
* * *
On Thanksgiving morning Dani discovered the kitchen at White Pines in predictable chaos. Maritza, who’d been Grandpa Harlan’s housekeeper practically forever, was trying her best to shoo everyone out, but lured by the scent of roasting turkey and pumpkin pie, no one was paying a bit of attention. Even Janet, whose lack of culinary skills was the stuff of family legend, seemed drawn to the one room in the house she usually avoided.
“Señora Janet, everything here is under control,” Maritza declared again. “Please, you go and take the others with you. It is Thanksgiving. You should be relaxing and enjoying your company.”
Janet made a token protest, offered to make the dressing and was soundly discouraged not only by Maritza, but also by everyone else as well.
“Ungrateful wretches,” Janet said, laughing. She scowled at Jenny. “You especially. I expected more loyalty from my firstborn daughter.”
“Hey, I grew up on your cooking for the first fourteen years of my life. The best I can say is that I survived it.” She turned to her younger sister. “Lizzy, you have no idea how grateful you should be that Maritza is here.”
Janet threw up her hands. “Okay, enough. I’m going where I’m appreciated.”
“I saw Dad out by the barn with Duke and the twins,” Lizzy offered. “Dad is always eager to see you.”
Janet gave them all a satisfied smile. “Yes, he is, isn’t he?” she said as she slipped out the screen door.
Dani watched her go and wished she could follow. She was still putting up a valiant battle with her emotions, but she feared she was losing the war. Just the mention of Duke’s name was enough to stir her senses alive. It really was absurd how little control she had over her reactions to the man. Worse, he knew it and he was deliberately plaguing her.
He never had gotten around to asking that all-important question that had brought him into her office a few weeks back. She’d been left to speculate and wonder and worry, even though he was suddenly underfoot everywhere she went. There hadn’t been a doubt in her mind that someone would think to include him and the boys in today’s celebration. Hearing that he was outside with her grandfather had made her pulse jump just the same.
“You could go, too,” Jenny suggested mildly.
Dani stared at her. “Go where?”
“Out to the barn.”
“Why would I want to do that?”
Jenny laughed. “Oh, sweetie, give it up. The only one not admitting that you’re nuts about the guy is you.”
Dani frowned. “One of these days, Jenny Runningbear Adams, you are going to fall head over heels in love with some man and I am going to lead the troops in making your life miserable about it.”
“Not me,” Jenny declared emphatically. “I don’t have time to fall in love. Between lobbying in Washington and teaching, my plate is full. I’m perfectly content.”
“Famous last words,” Dani taunted. She glanced at Lizzy, who was listening in with an amused expression. “I say a year, tops. How about you?”
“First she has to meet somebody,” Lizzy pointed out. “She never pokes her head into anyplace where she’s likely to meet anyone interesting. She spends all her time surrounded by teenagers and lawyers.”
“Watch it, baby sister,” Jenny warned. “Our mother is a lawyer. She wouldn’t appreciate you disparaging her kind.”
“Everyone knows that Mom’s an exception,” Lizzy said loyally. “The ones you know are out for a buck.”
“How would you know that? You’ve never met most of them.”
“I hear you and Mom and Dad talking. How do you think I got to be so smart?”
Jenny chuckled. “Who says you’re smart?”
“Daddy.”
Dani and Jenny exchanged a look. “Of course,” Dani said. “For a minute there, we forgot we were talking to Grandpa Harlan’s best and brightest.”
Lizzy scowled at her teasing. “I could tell you a few things…” she muttered.
“Such as?” Dani asked.
“You seem to forget that I worked for Duke all summer long,” Lizzy taunted meaningfully.
Dani’s heart seemed to lurch to a stop. “So?”
“I heard stuff.”
“About?”
“Never mind,” Lizzy said airily. “I’m going out where I’m appreciated, too.”
She left her sister and Dani staring after her.
“What do you suppose she knows?” Dani asked, unable to mask her curiosity.
“Very little, I think,” Maritza chimed in from the stove. “She is just talking big to get your attention.”
“It worked, too,” Jenny observed thoughtfully. “She mentioned Duke and your antenna shot up. Interesting reaction for a woman who claims the man doesn’t matter to her.”
“Oh, go to hell,” Dani muttered.
“Young lady, you do not use such talk in my kitchen,” Maritza said indignantly. “You are not too big for me to wash out your mouth with soap.”
“Uh-oh,” Jenny taunted. “You’re in big trouble now.”
“I’m going where I’m appreciated,” Dani said.
“To the barn?” Jenny asked, her eyes twinkling.
“No. To find my father.”
“Now there’s the ticket. Run off to Jordan,” Jenny taunted. “Don’t expect him to side with you, though. He’s like the rest of us. He’s just waiting for an engagement announcement. He discovered that being a daddy was fun. Now he wants to try out being a granddaddy.”
“He does not,” Dani protested, though the claim made her very nervous. She suspected there might be some truth to it.
“Does, too.”
“Niñas, stop it,” Maritza ordered. “You will spoil the food with all this bickering. Be nice.”
Dani laughed. “How often have we heard those words?” she asked as she wrapped her arms around Maritza and hugged her. “Te amo, Maritza.”
The housekeeper’s dour expression softened. “Te amo, Danielle. You are my own precious one.”
“I thought I was,” Jenny protested with a glint of pure mischief in her eyes.
“You, niña, are the thorn in my side, especially today. Now go. You both are in my way.”
It seemed everywhere Dani went she was in the way. She tried the den, but Jordan, Cody and Luke were busy cussing a blue streak at the television. It appeared the Dallas Cowboys weren’t delivering today.
Restless, it was probably inevitable that she would wander out to the barn. She swore it had nothing at all to do with Duke’s presence out there. Everyone was there, after all. Not just the man who made her toes tingle and tempted her to forget every resolution she’d made about choosing more wisely the next time she fell in love.
She also swore that she wouldn’t have gravitated directly toward him, if it hadn’t been for Joshua and Zachary. They rushed over and each clasped a hand, drawing her straight toward their father.
“Tell her, Dad. Tell her about the horses you’re gonna get us,” Joshua said, practically jumping up and down with excitement.
Dani met Duke’s gaze and felt that increasingly familiar jolt of excitement, the unmistakable tug that would have had a less stubborn woman throwing herself into his arms. She was almost used to it now. At least, it no longer left her thoroughly tongue-tied.
“If you’re thinking of getting them horses, I gather they’ve passed the pet test?” she said to him.
“It’s been months now, and the cats are still alive,” he said dryly. “It’s a small victory for responsibility.” He regarded her speculatively. “You know, I’m going to need some help with this one.”
“Picking out the right horses, checking into their breeding, going over them to make sure they’re sound. You’re a vet. You’ll be much better at that than I would be,” he said, then added a little too casually, “Think you could carve out a little time and go with me to a horse sale?”
Dani was flattered that he trusted her judgment, but going off to a horse sale with him meant spending time alone, just the two of them. She suspected from the gleam in his eyes that finding the best animals for his money wasn’t the only thing on his mind.
For weeks now Duke had done nothing to alarm her. He hadn’t even given her more than a chaste peck on the cheek. Still, she was smart enough to realize that the growing lust she was feeling wasn’t entirely one-sided. A few hours cooped up in a car and who knew what ideas he might get.
Not that she didn’t trust him, she told herself. It was herself she didn’t trust. The very sensible reasons she’d had for resisting Duke were fading, lost in a haze of pure longing that was deepening over time.
She forced herself to try once more to beg off. “Duke, I’m more than happy to give you some pointers, but I’d hate to be responsible for the final decision. It’s your money.”
“I’ll be taken to the cleaners,” he insisted. “They’ll see me coming a mile away.”
“Then take my father or Uncle Cody,” she said, unsuccessfully trying to fight the note of desperation that was creeping into her voice. “Heck, Grandpa Harlan would love to go. There’s nothing he likes more than a good horse sale and a chance to do some bargaining.”
“I want your help,” he insisted.
The man could match any Adams she knew for pure cussedness, she concluded with a sigh. “Why me?” she asked.
“You aren’t scared to spend the day with me, are you?” he retorted.
Her temper flared with predictable speed at the taunt. “Of course not.”
“You sure about that, darlin? You sound scared.”
“Oh, for heaven’s sakes, when is this sale?”
“Next weekend.”
“Where?”
“Fort Worth.”
It would be a long trip, but it could be done in a day, Dani reassured herself. They would be surrounded by hordes of people for most of that time. What could happen? Nothing, absolutely nothing. Not if she didn’t allow it. Maybe it was time to put her resolutions to the test. She sighed.
“What time do you want to go?”
“I’ll pick you up at five, so we’ll have time to look the horses over before the sale starts.”
She studied his face intently. His expression was pure innocence, but there was a glint in his eyes that suggested he was gloating. After all, he had gotten his way. Again. Why shouldn’t he gloat? She had the resistance of a limp noodle where he was concerned.
“Can we come, too?” Joshua pleaded.
As if he’d forgotten his sons’ presence and the purpose of the trip to Fort Worth, Duke blinked and stared at Joshua for a full minute before shaking his head.
“No,” he said flatly.
“But, Dad…” Zack protested.
“The horses are for us,” Zack argued.
“Yes, they are,” Dani agreed, siding with the boys for her own less than honorable purposes. “They should have some say.”
“Coward,” Duke murmured just for her ears.
Since she couldn’t deny it, she pretended she hadn’t even heard. “Well?” she said. “Can they come?”
“No, indeed, they can’t go,” her grandfather said, stepping into the fray at the most inopportune moment possible. “I have plans for you two boys right here.”
“But…” Joshua began.
“No buts,” her grandfather said firmly. “No point in picking out horses, if you can’t ride. While your daddy and Dani are off in Fort Worth, Cody and I will give you your first lessons.”
To Dani’s dismay, both boys reacted with enthusiasm. So much for her salvation. This time when she met Duke’s gaze, there was no mistaking the triumph. Since Maritza wasn’t nearby to reproach her, she told him to go to hell, too.
He laughed. “Been there, darlin’. This time I’m aiming for heaven.”