44. Gear Up: Essentials for Phish Shows

Going to a Phish show, like most things in life, can benefit from some planning. Plainly speaking, nothing is required of you in preparation for a Phish show, but there are some tips and tricks we’ve picked up along the way to help ensure you have a pleasant evening at the show.

It seems obvious, but, please: take care of your shoes! You can’t dance for three hours in broken, worn-out shoes. Well, I mean, hey—you can dance barefoot all day and night if you want. But it helps to have nice, comfortable shoes. And thick socks—don’t forget about the socks!

Also, in regard to the hierarchy of needs, you have to stay hydrated. Water is your friend! And the sad truth of some venues across the United States is that they won’t sell you a bottle of water with the cap. (Except at the Baker’s Dozen where, after a few shows, MSG did allow concertgoers to keep their water bottle caps after being pressed upon by photographer Jeff Kravitz). But you can bring in your own bottle caps! I often bring a few just to share with anyone I see carrying open bottles of water. Of course, you can also bring in full, sealed water bottles or empty Nalgene bottles and fill up at water fountains or bathroom sinks. But sometimes water fountains are scarce and bathroom sinks are gross or only pour hot water. In any case, however you can swing it, stay hydrated!

Now, for everything else.

Some people bring in a lot of, shall we say, stuff? Party supplies come in all shapes and sizes, and some items are more cumbersome than others. I can only speak to the fashion versus utility choices I’ve made over the years to carry and contain various items in my stash. Of course, I would be remiss to point out that while I don’t condone illicit activity, most of these items would not be permitted inside a music venue. And so when considering how to smuggle goods into a venue, you basically have two fashionable options: cargo shorts or fanny pack.

And here’s another small piece of advice: if you’re bringing in something small, your sock is a great place to stash it.

And, yes, I can hear you. What about booze?, you’re wondering. Well, here’s the trick with bringing booze into a venue. Ready? If you want to sneak in a small half-pint or full-pint bottle of booze…just put it in your back pocket. That’s right; your back pocket. Most Phish shows I’ve been to have had security and metal detectors that are less concerned with pot or booze and more concerned about weapons, as they should be. And so, generally speaking, if you don’t make a scene about it, you’ll be okay. I’ve had security pat me down and feel a bottle of booze or a small pipe and all I get is a flat “Enjoy the show,” and I’m on my way.

Again, I don’t condone smuggling or substance abuse. And I imagine if you’re like me, a midthirties writer in NYC without children, you’ve discovered these tricks for yourself.

In that case, cheers! And, as always, imbibe with care and consideration to those around you. Don’t be the obnoxious, “over-served” fan at the show.