| |
“Are you out of your damn mind?” Jax asked once I’d finished explaining the situation to him.
“Yes, she is. She’s totally insane,” Mila said loudly from where she stood across the room.
I shot a glare in her direction. I didn’t even have him on speakerphone, but she was able to make out every word of our conversation with that supersonic werewolf hearing. Of course, it probably didn’t help that he was borderline yelling.
“I think you’re overreacting,” I told Jax. “Everything’s fine.”
“Am I?” He didn’t sound convinced.
“Just a little. It’s going to be okay. We’ll just stay for the bloodline ceremony tomorrow, and then I’ll come home tomorrow night.”
“I should just leave now. I can spend the night there, too. I already have my own room. I don’t like the idea of either of you being in that house alone.”
“It will be pointless. By the time you get here, it will be really late. We’ll already be asleep,” I told him. “If you want to come for the ceremony tomorrow, it’s in the afternoon.”
“I wish I could be there, but I have somewhere else I need to be tomorrow afternoon,” Jax murmured.
“Oh, where?”
“Elias needs me to go somewhere with him.”
“Where does he want you to go?” I questioned, annoyed that he wasn’t telling me. He was angry that I was at Demetrius’s, but at least I wasn’t being secretive over my whereabouts.
“It’s a long story,” Jax replied. I heard a muffled noise on the other end of the line and then he said, “Hey, I gotta go. Call me tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay,” I agreed.
“I love you, Camryn.”
My heart skipped a beat. It was the first time he’d actually said those words aloud. “I love you, too, Jax,” I whispered.
“Ugh. Gag me, lovebirds,” Mila complained, rolling her eyes from across the room.
I didn’t even pay attention to her. I was too far in Jax-land to care about what she was saying. He loved me. Just knowing that made me giddy.
As I hung up the phone, I sat down on the bed. The butterflies in my stomach were fluttering around like crazy.
“I can hear your heart beating a mile a minute,” Mila told me, sitting down at the edge of the bed. “Calm yourself, or you’re going to put yourself into cardiac arrest.”
“It’s not beating that fast.”
“Um, trust me. It is.”
“Werewolves can hear heartbeats?” I asked. “I thought that was only a talent vampires possessed.”
“We have lots of talents. But we can hear human heartbeats for a reason,” she replied.
“Why?” I glanced over at her with raised eyebrows.
“We’re able to hear the pulses of our prey.”
“Do werewolves prey on humans often?”
“Some do.” She shrugged. “Don’t worry, though. I have no interest in preying on your human self. Jax would kill me.”
“I’m not human,” I insisted. “I’m going to be a werewolf.”
“That may be true, but as of right now, all I can smell is”—she leaned in and sniffed me—“the scent of human blood on you.”
“Does your scent change once you become a wolf?” I asked.
She nodded. “Once your werewolf gene activates, your scent, your DNA – everything – it will completely change. Oh, and I hope you’re starting to stockpile razors, because you’re going to need them. Trust me.”
“I’m going to get hairy?” Becoming a wolf was starting to sound less appealing. An image of me shaving thick, black hair – no, thick, black fur – off of my legs filled my head.
“Your hair won’t look much different, but it will grow faster than you can keep up with maintaining it. When I first made the transition, I had to shave my legs twice a day. Once your hormones adjust, you’ll have to shave less. I’m down to every day or every other day now.”
“That’s still a lot. This doesn’t sound fun.”
“Oh, trust me, Camryn. There’s nothing ‘fun’ about being a werewolf,” she said, her golden brown eyes locking on mine.
“You don’t like being a werewolf?” That surprised me for some reason.
She shook her head. “I would trade it all to be a human again, no questions asked.”
“But being a human is so... boring.” I hadn’t even made the transition yet, but my life had gotten to be a thousand times more interesting since Jax and his family had walked into my life. There was a newfound drama in my life, excitement that I never could’ve gotten from hanging out with humans.
“Boring has its perks. You’re born, you go to school, you get married and have a family, and then you die.” Mila’s eyes clouded over. “It doesn’t happen that way for werewolves.”
“How does it happen?” I asked.
“You’re born, you go to school, you get married – if you ever find your mate – and have kids, belong to a pack, and you live for who knows how long. It could be forever.” She sighed. “There’s nothing easy about watching all of the humans you love die, and not knowing if you’ll ever get to be reunited with them again because you’re an immortal.”
I didn’t want to pry, but I was curious about who she’d lost.
As if she’d read my mind, she continued. “When I was seventeen years old, I was young and so in love with this guy. His name was Winston. I thought we would be together forever – that we’d raise kids together and grow old together. But then I became a wolf, and I knew I could never be with him.”
“Why couldn’t you?” I questioned.
“Because with every day he would get older, my body would remain the same,” Mila explained. “Eventually, I knew that he would’ve been forty years old, fifty years old, and I would still look like I was only seventeen years old. People would’ve asked questions; he would’ve asked questions. And it’s not like I could just say, ‘Hey, I’m a werewolf. I’m going to look like this forever.’ He would’ve thought I was crazy. And I didn’t want to go there with him. I didn’t want to explain it, because that would’ve meant putting his life in danger. Human lives are fragile. I thought he would’ve been better off with a nice girl without a dangerous life – a human girl.”
She paused, her eyes watering up. “Not that he ever ended up with a human. When he was nineteen, he came down with diphtheria. No one was allowed to visit him at the hospital, because they didn’t want anyone to catch the infection. Back then, diphtheria was a death sentence,” she explained. “So I pretended to be a nurse and snuck into see him. No one questioned me. He was so out of it that he thought he was only imagining it, but I was there by his side... until the very end.” She blinked a tear away.
“I’m sorry, Mila. That’s so... sad,” I whispered.
“Whatever.” She shrugged. “That’s why I make sure I never get too close to anyone. I don’t want to have to remember anyone else who passes away for an eternity.”
“So, this guy who you went on a date with tonight—” I began, but she interrupted me.
“It’s nothing serious,” she assured me. “Just a cute boy, a good time. I don’t expect anything to actually come of it. That’s not what I want – not with a human or anyone.”
“Is he a human?” I asked.
She nodded. “He is.”
“I see.” I was surprised that she’d get involved with another human. Even if she only intended for it to be a good time, I knew there was a chance that one or both of them could end up catching feelings. And then what? She’d lose him, too? Or would she turn him into a werewolf so they could spend eternity together?
“I’m curious. Did Jax tell you about... you and me?” Mila asked, eyeing me curiously.
I shook my head. “No, I don’t think so. Or if he did, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“The reason I had a hard time warming up to you wasn’t because of my trust issues. I mean, I do have trust issues, but...” She paused. “You and I didn’t get along in your last life.”
“We didn’t?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.
“No, we didn’t. You didn’t exactly like me.”
“Why wouldn’t I have liked you?” I thought Mila was pretty cool. I couldn’t think of a reason why I wouldn’t have liked her.
“Do you know anything about Grace?”
I nodded. “Yeah, Jax told me about her. The adopted sister who died.” The adopted sister who Zoe had killed was more like it, but I wasn’t sure if Mila knew that last part, so I wasn’t about to mention it.
She nodded. “I warned you not to trust her. I wasn’t sure what it was, exactly, but I just didn’t trust her. She seemed... sneaky. Well, you didn’t believe me, of course. I totally understood. She was your sister, and you and I had only just met. What reason did you have to believe me? Then she died, and you thought I was the one who killed her.”
“I did?” My eyes grew wide.
Mila nodded. “Yes. And that’s when you betrayed me.”
“How did I betray you?”
“I had a secret – one that no one else knew. There was someone who I didn’t want to find out about it, but... you told them.” Her eyes met mine. “I was so mad at you, for years, even after you died. I vowed that when you came back to life, I would ruin your life, the same way I felt that you’d ruined mine.”
“Then why are you here right now?” I asked, staring at her suspiciously. Here I thought Mila was on my side, but what if she wasn’t? What if the only reason she’d agreed to come to the compound with me was because she wanted to kill me?
I hadn’t really gotten those vibes from her, though. It seemed like we were actually friends.
“Jax talked some sense into me. He told me that it wouldn’t be fair for me to try to get revenge for you in this lifetime for something you wouldn’t even remember doing,” she explained. “I guess he’s right. What the last Camryn did isn’t this Camryn’s fault.”
I nodded. “Thanks for that. I really don’t remember.”
“I know. You never remember your previous lives,” Mila replied.
“Never?”
She shook her head. “No, you’ve never been able to before.”
I felt slightly disappointed. A part of me had been hoping that all of my memories from my previous lifetimes would come rushing back to me all at once one day, out of nowhere.
I couldn’t help it. I just... I wanted to remember. I wanted to be able to recall every interaction I’d ever had with Jax. I wanted to know more about him, more about me, more about us. It was almost tragic for me to think that all of those memories were lost to me, gone forever.
“Anyway, I am tired.” Mila yawned. “Should we try to get some sleep?”
I nodded. “Yeah. Goodnight.”