OLDGUY: SUPERHERO

AT THE MOVIES

Oldguy’s in the front row for Buster Keaton
Night. In the dream sequence of Sherlock Jr.,
where moviegoer Keaton leaves his seat, walks

through the screen and into the film, Oldguy,
who thinks Keaton’s heard a fire alarm, tries
to follow suit. When he bumps into the screen,

the audience, who assumes he’s a star making
a personal appearance, swarms up after him
in hopes of an autograph. Thinking he’s helping

lead the escape, Oldguy runs out a stage door
and down the street, the crowd close behind,
blocking traffic and frightening pedestrians.

After the riot squad screeches in, Oldguy tries
to direct them to the would-be conflagration.
When someone among the autograph hounds

announces, “He’s just some old guy,” no one
pays attention, eager to beat the next person
for a signature, one woman holding up her bra.

Oldguy politely turns his back as the riot squad
finally gets control. “Wow, this 3D,” he says
to a cop. “Makes you think you’re really here.”