OLDGUY: SUPERHERO,

UNDERCOVER

On patrol in the city one evening, Oldguy
stops to relieve himself on an out-of-the-way
shrub, which is actually an in-the-way

poodle being walked by a local matron,
who immediately summons the police.
Arrested for indecent exposure, Oldguy

thinks he’s to infiltrate the “indecent” other
occupants in the police van and “expose” any
upcoming plots. To gain their confidence,

he says he’s just “iced” a Meals on Wheels lady.
They report this to the officers in front, hoping
to earn reduced sentences. Locked up

in max-security, Oldguy confides to a janitor
he mistakes for a uniformed contact that he’s
in with the indecents, that the go signal

will be two longs and a short. The janitor
contacts the city paper, informing them
the police are mistreating a harmless old

looney. To prevent a PR disaster, the chief
has the charges dismissed and, as cameras
flash, presents Oldguy with a gold plaque

naming him a Senior Posse Member.
In the front-page photo, Oldguy can be seen
sizing up a shrub-shaped floral display.