To Superman, I bequeath my Kryptonite-resistant Jockeys.
To Batman, my denture grapple.
To Wonder Woman, my silver Fitbit bracelets.
To Captain America, my Kate Smith’s Greatest Hits.
To Captain Atom, my copy of the Democritus Joke Book.
To Spider-Man, my Zap-N-Trap bug catcher.
To Plastic Man, my Male Erecto.
To Thing, some of my doodads.
To Aquaman, my Depend Bed Protecters.
To Ant-Man, my plastic farm and display light.
To Captain Marvel, my SHAZAM rupture truss.
To Iron Man, my stool-softener pills.
To Death, my dead ass, ya bastard, and welcome to it.