Tiderius sat by the window, thinking. He had taken to spending many hours in his room, deep in thought, away from the daily activities of the castle. Ever since Rasmus had been sent to the northern border, he had done nothing but worry. The fact that Rasmus had been transferred from the infantry to the equestrians did not ease his fears, even though the infantry saw more of the action. Now that Angora had gone, Tiderius had two people to worry about.
Thinking about Angora stirred memories of their very first meeting, of their anger toward each other that day and on many days after. For months, Angora had hated him and he had distrusted her. But she hadn’t seemed so foreign and unfriendly, wild and stubborn recently – her company had become pleasurable. There was, after all, no other girl like her in the whole of Te’Roek, perhaps in the whole of the empire.
But now she was gone.
He wondered where Angora was and whether she had her staff strapped to her back or was holding it in her hand. He stood up and approached the table where his sword lay. He wore the weapon every day, as was his duty, but in the safety of his room, he could be relieved of its weight.
“Where are you?” he said, looking down at a chair on which she had sat a few weeks earlier.
He took a step toward it and, for a moment, imagined her sitting there, her hair falling gracefully down her back, her head tilted slightly to one side, her eyes downcast, lips slightly pouted. Once, she had sat there and recounted her history and had even tried to teach him some of the language of her people. His pitiful attempts to mimic her accent had made her smile, something he liked to see – her wholehearted smiles were rare and they transformed her face completely.
“Why don’t you come back?” he asked the figure on the chair. “The queen’s getting anxious.”
He imagined her looking at him in a dispassionate way and offering him the smallest of smiles. You cannot find me, her expression said. You will never find me.
In a moment of unexpected rage, Tiderius picked up the chair and hurled it across the room. Breathing heavily, he went back to the table and grasped the hilt of his sword tightly, looking at the broken chair. More often than not, he found that the Sword of Te’Roek, Anathris, gave him comfort; it released a positive energy that his body soaked up, calming his mood. He collapsed onto his bed with the sword in his hand.
It was there that Emil found him a couple of hours later. The shaman had wandered in after Tiderius had not answered the knocks at his door, and found him lying perfectly still.
“You did not come down for supper,” Emil said, eyeing the broken chair.
“No.”
Emil sighed. “You must not let your anger take hold of you.” He sat on the edge of the bed and brushed his hair back from his face. “She has a fiery temper and still can’t understand how we do things here on the mainland.”
“I know that.”
“We do mean to protect those from here to the border, but we didn’t want to send you both north without either myself, Markus or Kayte for protection, and organizing reinforcements is paramount at the moment.”
“I understand that, Emil,” Tiderius said, and sighed. “She has always been frustrated with politics. She only understands action.”
“Do you have any idea where she may have gone?”
“There are only two places she would’ve gone: west to Teronia or north to the border. She knows nothing else of the world. But there have been no reports of activity on Teronia since the Ayon invasion.”
“Could she have gone there to find any survivors?”
“It’s a possibility.”
“We may have to go to the island ourselves and fetch her, if that’s the case,” the shaman said, rising to his feet. “Aiyla has not been able to see her at all – past, present or future – though she has been trying ceaselessly.”
“Would you really welcome Angora back after what she’s done?”
“We have little choice.”
“But then what she said was true…Is this really only about keeping the balance?”
“Angora is invaluable to us,” Emil said, folding his arms. “Yes, we must maintain the equilibrium but not just for its own sake. The enemy could exploit our weakness and attack the common people mercilessly. She is not a trophy we wish to keep and admire. She is a tool, just like myself.”
“Then what do we do? When we find out where she is, we can’t just go there and force her to come back. She’s not an escaped slave any more.”
“We can at least talk to her. Once Aiyla manages to see her, I will go myself with Kayte and – ”
“I’m not sure that’s the best idea, Emil,” Tiderius said hesitantly. “If we wish to persuade Angora to come back, we need to make her feel at ease. Aiyla is her closest friend. She should go with Kayte.”
“What about you?”
Tiderius absently pressed his hand to his chest where Angora had spelled him before her departure. He slowly shook his head.
“She won’t want to talk to me. Aiyla is our best option.”