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Cecilia was sitting at her dressing table when Archie knocked the second time. Her maid was almost done with her hair. She gave him a small smile through the mirror as she tried not to be too affected by how well he looked in his black and white evening attire. He smiled back at her and leaned against the doorframe.
“I’m ready in a minute,” Cecilia said and dismissed her maid when she had put the last pins in her hair. She could put on her jewelry and gloves on her own. She sensed that Archie wanted to speak, but not in front of the maid. And she was right. As soon as the maid closed the door, Archie strolled casually towards her and asked:
“Are you feeling better?”
Cecilia nodded and looked down as she was unclasping the lock on the necklace she wanted to wear. It was a dark green opal in a simple silver chain that Millie had gifted her as a wedding present.
“You must think me terribly silly to hide in my room just because of that. It was all hypothetical after all,” she muttered and placed the necklace around her neck.
Some part of her wanted to confide in him and tell him exactly why she had been upset. When they had spoken an hour ago there had been a moment when she thought that he had actually known why she was upset. An even briefer one where she had thought that he would tell her, that of course he would care if she died in childbirth.
“I think I told you before that I don’t find your emotions silly,” Archie murmured. Cecilia’s hands that were trying to fasten the lock slipped at his words and the necklace fell. She caught it against her bosom and hastily tried to put it back on.
“Allow me,” Archie mumbled and strode towards her. His warm fingers brushed hers as he took the necklace from her. Cecilia quickly clasped her hands in her lap as she was trying to ignore the touch of his fingers at her nape. She felt certain that one of them lingered on her skin and for a moment she forgot to breathe but then he retreated.
He walked to the window by her bed. Cecilia briefly glanced at her night table that was close to his leg. She had hidden the pamphlet that Hester had given her, under the book that she was currently reading. The night table was halfway hidden behind Archie’s legs, and she could not tell whether the dark purple pamphlet was in fact out of sight. She turned towards the mirror again to clasp on her earrings as she tried to force her blush down. It seemed inevitable though. She had spent much of the afternoon browsing through the pamphlet, and even though she had felt she knew a fair bit about what happened between men and women, there was still much to learn, she had discovered.
Like the fact that what Archie had done the second day of their marriage was in no way uncommon apparently. In fact, the author almost seemed to think that it was mandatory and would be a shame if the man did not want to do it. Whoever the author was, she was certainly not shy or coy. Moreover, the pamphlet suggested that it was even normal for women to give men pleasure with their mouths.
The thought only made Cecilia’s blush deepen. Some part of her was curious to know exactly how it would feel, both the physical part and how she would feel giving Archie that kind of pleasure. Only her gloves were left now, and she picked them up as she gave her beet-red face a look. Good thing Archie was still standing with his back to her. She turned towards the room and gently slid the first glove on. She was ready to jump from the chair and hurry towards the door the moment he turned around. The burning sensation in her cheeks told her that her face was most likely still bright red.
“Where did you get this?” Archie asked. His tone of mirth mixed with wonder should probably have alerted her as to what he was talking about, but because of all the emotions swirling around inside her, she did not think about it before it was too late. He was standing with the purple pamphlet in his hand. For a moment it felt as if Cecilia’s heart ceased beating, then it started again with an almost painfully hard contraction.
“It’s...” He had opened the pamphlet and had evidently read some of its content.
“Hester gave it to me,” she answered truthfully and looked at the second glove as she tried to slide it on. She wished that she could say that the movement was elegant, but she accidentally poked her thumb into the hole for her index finger and had to take it off again and start over.
“My sister gave you this?” Archie asked and Cecilia could feel him draw closer.
“Yes,” she said as she struggled with the glove. “Your mother gave it to her before her debut.”
Even though the glove was now on flawlessly, she kept fussing with it in order not to have to meet his eyes.
“Well, I do not need to know any more about that. On the other hand, I am very curious as to why you would want one.” He was looming over her, and Cecilia felt his gaze burn on her skin, but she could not bring herself to look up.
“Is it not obvious?” she muttered.
“No,” was the only answer that Archie gave her.
Cecilia squirmed in her chair as she tried to think of a plausible explanation for why she had the pamphlet.
“I... I wanted to know how we could...” She waved a hand between the two of them, now looking at the carpet. “Well...” she could not bring herself to say the words.
“Sleep together,” Archie muttered in a hoarse voice.
“Yes.” Cecilia offered his midsection a grateful smile, still not confident enough to meet his eyes. “How we could... sleep together without risking being hurt.”
“I thought you were not afraid of the pain the first time.” His voice had gone even hoarser these few seconds. Her gaze darted to his face for a moment to determine whether he was angry, but his face held a look of wonder, and his eyes shone in a peculiar way that she had not seen before.
“Not hurt in the physical sense,” she muttered and quickly lowered her gaze to the carpet again, clutching her hands in her lap. Her shoulders were slowly rising towards her ears as if she were a turtle that was able to hide inside its shell.
“You are afraid I will hurt you emotionally?” Archie asked after more than a moment in a slow voice as if he wanted her to contradict him.
“Yes,” Cecilia stated. “I am afraid that I will become too attached to you if we...” She gulped before she was able to say the words again. “Sleep together.” She paused for a heartbeat or two. “But there is nothing in there that gives any indication as to how it can be done.”
“Cecilia.” Her name was little more than an exhalation as he knelt in front of her. His hands encapsulated hers that were still clasped together in a tight knot. “Why would you wish not to become attached to me? I am your husband.”
Cecilia raised her gaze to one of his broad shoulders in the impeccable black suit. He was so handsome it was ridiculous, which was part of the problem, was it not?
“You will tire of me eventually. And then I do not want to be left with a broken heart when you take a mistress,” she murmured.
“Cecilia,” he breathed again, and she could see from the corner of her eye that he lowered his head a little to be able to look into her eyes. She glanced at him briefly; his expression was one of concern mixed with – if she was not mistaken – compassion. The last emotion made her look at him fully to be certain that it was actually what she saw, and she found herself captured by his dark blue eyes.
“I will not tire of you, and I will not break your heart. It seems inconceivable that I would ever want to be with another woman again.” As she looked into his eyes, Cecilia felt certain that he believed them himself although she could not fathom why. Everything that he had previously been suggested that he would not be a faithful husband. “You are my wife. I will not simply tire of you. I want to build a life with you. I want us to be friends like we were before. To be lovers. To be each other’s partners and to draw strength from each other when we need to. I want you to help me make the Cottage prosper and I want us to have children.”
His voice faltered on the last words and Cecilia felt her bottom lip quiver.
“I want that too,” she whispered.
There was no need to say anything else. Archie’s hands came to cup her face and his mouth descended on hers. At first, a test of sorts, then hungry and eager. Cecilia quickly pulled her gloves off and threw them on the floor. She needed to be able to feel Archie’s skin underneath her fingers. She traced the line of his jaw then let her hands brush over his face and bury in his blond hair to keep his face pressed against hers.
Archie’s hand slid from her face down her front to her waist to pull her firmly against him. He was kneeling between her legs, although the dress made it difficult for them to be pressed together as tightly as Cecilia wished.
“I want you,” Archie breathed. “But I want you to want me too.”
“I do,” Cecilia breathed and started tugging on his cravat.
Evening attire quickly scattered around them. Cecilia had enough sense to place the necklace and the earrings on the dressing table. The rest was simply discarded on the floor. Archie was down to his trousers, and he had unbuttoned her dress in the back. He helped her stand as he gently tucked the dress down and let it pool around her feet.
For a moment he simply looked at her with the same shimmering look that had been in his eyes before, one that she was starting to suspect showed that he wanted to bed her. He quickly stepped back to her and started undoing her petticoats and corset until she was only in her chemise and stockings. Cecilia had wrenched her slippers off long ago. He stepped back again as if to admire her once more. Cecilia tried to bear it but felt too self-conscious to allow him to look at her like this for more than a brief second. Instead, she stepped close to him and tiptoed to be able to kiss him again. His arms came around her immediately and hugged him tightly. It was even more exhilarating now that she could feel his warmth through the thin layers of her chemise.
His hands slid down her back to cup her bottom and Cecilia reveled in being so closely pressed against him. But even though all of it was enjoyable, she could not help but feel that they should be moving towards the bed and not still be standing in the middle of the room.
The pamphlet had said that it could be helpful that the woman touched the man’s... Cecilia was not certain what word to use. Manhood, she supposed. But the pamphlet had also stated that the woman touching the man could speed the process up too much and thus make the man climax either before he had entered the woman or shortly after, thus not allowing for the woman to receive much satisfaction from that part of the act.
Cecilia had no idea how else to progress matters and at the same time, she wished to show Archie that she wanted this as much as he did. She gently moved her hand, which had been resting on his shoulder, down his chest, and over his stomach toward the place between his legs. Even before she had reached it, she was quite certain that she felt him harden. She was surprised by the size of the bulge she found there and not least the low groan that slid from Archie’s lips.
“Am I doing it right?” she muttered as she stroked over the fine wool of his trousers.
“Perfect,” Archie ground out.
He lowered his head and kissed her neck while his hand started kneading her bottom more firmly. One traveled up the side of her body and found one of her nipples through the thin fabric of the chemise. Cecilia sighed as he gently rolled it while she remembered how he had kissed them previously. She greedily thrust her breast into his hand as she hoped he would do it again.
Archie took the hint: His other hand cupped her other breast and Cecilia momentarily forgot to touch him. She had to steady herself on his arm as she swayed on her feet.
“I think it’s time we move to the bed,” Archie chuckled and walked towards the bed.
“Finally,” Cecilia whispered. She had meant it only as a comment to herself, but as Archie looked at her over his shoulder, the mirth in his eyes told her that he had heard. Well, she did not mind, she tried to tell herself, although she could not help but blush.
They stood opposite each other once more at the side of the bed. Archie slowly pulled her chemise over her head and then undid her drawers. Cecilia wrenched them down her hips. Archie paused with his hands on the second button on the placard of his trousers and took her in. She was only wearing her stockings now. With as much poise and decorum as she could muster, Cecilia sat on the edge of the bed, undid the laces on the first one, and slowly pulled it down. She looked up to be certain that he was still watching her. She paused as she realized that he had speedily divested himself of the last of his clothes and was now looking at her with a gaze that was both intense and... hungry. She took in the naked form of him, her eyes especially lingered on his erect manhood. After what she had read in the pamphlet today, she felt no fear regarding what they were about to do. Only expectation and desire. Her core clenched at the thought that soon he would be inside her, giving her pleasure.
Archie cleared his throat and she looked at his face again.
"Do you need help with the last stocking?" he teased her.
Cecilia quickly pulled it off, not bothering with making a show of it, and crawled onto the bed. She lay down on her back and her blood rushed in her body as Archie gently lay down on top of her. It was the same movements as the last time and yet the situation could not be more different. He wanted her. For more than a bed partner. For more than keeping his house. He wanted her as a partner, as the mother of his children. He may not have said that he loved her, but it was much closer than she had thought possible with him.
Cecilia gently traced the lines of his face with her fingertips. Archie closed his eyes, enjoying her touch. His hands were resting on her shoulders. One of them moved to her breast while his mouth sought hers. The heat quickly built between them again. His gentle tugs on her nipple sent waves of heat straight towards her core and she could not help but move her hips against him. His hips moved in response and his warm length was pressed against her.
Archie reached between them and gently stroked her folds. He hummed in a way that showed his satisfaction when one of his fingers brushed her entrance and he discovered how wet she was. Cecilia had felt the wetness when she pleasured herself but now after reading the pamphlet, she knew exactly what it was for. One of Archie’s fingers gently slid inside of her. Cecilia closed her eyes as she adjusted to the sensation of being filled. She had only just done so when a second finger joined it. She gasped in both delight and surprise.
“Does it hurt?” Archie murmured.
Cecilia could not answer, merely shaking her head as she moved her hips to urge him to continue to move his fingers. She gasped and panted as he continued his ministrations, but she could not help but wonder when he would remove his fingers and they would actually sleep together.
“Archie,” she finally breathed. “I want...”
His fingers inside of her stopped and he sent her a teasing questioning look.
“Please,” she tried to demand but did not muster the right tone.
“Please what?”
“Please... sleep with me.”
He smiled widely and happily with a hint of relief on his face as he leaned forward and kissed her. He kept kissing her as he positioned himself between her legs and as he slowly worked his way into her. Cecilia clutched his shoulders. It never hurt but the sensation was stranger than it was pleasurable at first. When he began to move, she felt the pleasure starting to build and when a corner of her mind remembered that it would benefit her if she moved her hips, she did so. Without thinking, she asked:
“Do you mind if I touch myself?” The pamphlet had mentioned that it could increase pleasure and even given instructions to various positions where it would be possible for either the male or the female.
“Not in the least,” Archie panted.
Cecilia worked her hand between them and found the little nub of flesh that Archie had licked three weeks ago and that she had been unable to keep her hands from at night. As soon as she started touching it, she felt her muscles tightening even further and gasped with delight. The tense pressure in her body that promised great release only built with each movement.
She could not help but open her eyes and look at Archie who was moving above her. Laboring to bring her pleasure. Her chest felt tighter at the thought. She had been so engrossed in watching him and enjoying the feelings that their movements brought her that it almost startled her when he opened his eyes and looked at her.
“Come,” he demanded.
Cecilia was not certain whether it was the desire in his eyes or his command, but she gasped breathlessly as her body convulsed and the sensations in her body culminated. Her climax was prolonged by Archie who kept moving and after a moment or two found his release as well. Cecilia kissed his lips, his jaw, his cheeks, his neck. Why had she been denying herself, both of them, this pleasure?
But when Archie raised his head to look into her eyes and say:
“That was amazing, thank you.”
She knew exactly why she had waited. She had waited because she was afraid that the words that she was biting her tongue to hold in would slip out in a moment of passion like this.
Because her urge had not been to thank him. Her urge had been to say:
“I love you.”