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Archie did not have a chance to read the missive from Lavinia until they arrived back at Great Farleigh Hall. The letter had been burning in his pocket all through the carriage ride, the ceremony, and back again. He excused himself in a way that indicated to Cecilia and the others that he needed to use the gentlemen’s retiring room and left her with Gregory and Rosie, whom she seemed to get along with quite nicely.
In fact, he had no intention of taking care of such business at that moment. Instead, he hurried up the stairs to his room. It had been spotlessly cleaned since they had left this morning. He looked fondly at the bed, where they had made love this morning, then eaten buttered toast as they had chatted amiably. When would he be able to steal Cecilia away from the crush down there? Probably not until well into the evening, which was a shame.
He pried his eyes away from the bed and quickly tore open the letter. It was brief, to say the least.
“Archie, I need to see you today. Urgent change of plans. I have reserved the private parlor where we usually meet. Lavinia.”
But then again, she had never been one for writing long letters of love. Which was just as well since he had no interest in reading those.
He cursed as he strode to the window to look at the gray day outside. What was she thinking? She had to know that Hester’s wedding was today and that he could not simply leave in the middle of it. Yet, if she wanted to meet him today, perhaps it was something important. Perhaps she had lost the child.
A sour taste entered his mouth at the thought. He did not like that her miscarrying would be the solution to his problems, even though it was. Could it be another matter then that was important enough that he left his sister’s wedding for it? Could she have found a family on her own somehow? Or have contacted her parents despite his understanding that she would not? Perhaps her parents had agreed to take in the child, and she wanted to leave for – wherever they lived – today and only needed some money from him.
Archie rubbed a hand over his lower face as he tried to think of a time when it would be possible to leave. The wedding breakfast would soon be served, Flint and Hester would be seen off at some point, and then there would be a large dinner and party tonight. He would probably be able to leave without being missed by his parents or Hester after the wedding breakfast, but not Cecilia. What could he possibly say to her that warranted that he left?
He would have to claim some kind of urgent estate matter again and then have Gregory watch over her. He did not feel proud of lying to her, but what else could he do? If she knew, he would certainly lose her, and he had only just started having an idea of what it meant to have her. In his life. To be with her in every sense. When Cecilia had finally let him in, she had truly let him. She was not holding anything back from him anymore and he enjoyed her confidence and small outbursts of delight over the most random topics just as much as their lovemaking and their friendship.
With quick paces, he hurried down the stairs to join Cecilia again. He was determined now that if he could end this whole thing with Lavinia once and for all today, it was worth it to sneak away for an hour.
***
“I have to return to London tomorrow. Mr. Perkins, you know, the theater manager, has sent a message: my understudy is sick. Besides I need to make the most of my time on stage before the pregnancy starts to show and I have to go into hiding,” Lavinia told him.
Archie had to fight not to hide his face in his hands as Lavinia delivered this speech upon his entering the room. Had he left his sister’s wedding for this?
“And the reason you could not tell me this in a letter is what exactly?” he asked without even trying to hide his annoyance with her.
Lavinia rolled her eyes. She was sitting in a chair by the window. Her light purple dress with a low neckline and wide sleeves made her look exactly like the flirt that she was. Looking at her, Archie could not fathom that he had ever desired her. He wished he could say that he had been young and foolish, but it had been mere months since Lavinia had been all that he craved in a woman.
“I thought you wanted to know,” she told him with a small smile. “This is your baby too after all and I will make sure that you do your part. That it is well taken care of.”
“Or else?” Archie asked because the threat was clearly there.
“Or else I tell your new wife, of course.” Lavinia smirked. She was a good enough actress that he had no idea whether it was a hollow threat or not. And he certainly could not take any chances.
“I have done my part so far, have I not?” he grumbled and wanted to leave but also did not want to bother her.
“You have. And I am grateful for it.” She bent her head, and for a moment, she looked very young and vulnerable. But when she looked up at him again, there was a hard line around her mouth. “I’ll need money for the trip back to London. Plus, money to buy new clothes. I have to have something that will hide my condition for as long as possible. And I expect you to take care of the bill for my room here of course.”
If Archie had not known her better, he would have thought that the lines around her mouth indicated that she did not like asking him for money. But since his experience told him that she had no qualms regarding that, the lines had to be there for another reason.
He slowly retrieved his coin purse from his coat and handed her money for the stagecoach as well as money for new dresses.
“I will pay the innkeeper,” he told her as he handed her the money.
“You don’t trust me to do it,” she stated in a high-pitched mock-defended voice. She rose from the chair and placed the money in her reticule. “You’ll be in touch.” He nodded at this. “Or I swear to God, you will leave me with no other choice but to tell your wife.”
Archie did not respond to this but only scowled at her back as she strode towards the door.
“Whoops, excuse me,” Lavinia told someone in the hall. Several degrees more friendly than her tone had been with Archie. “Madam, if you would kindly move.” Annoyance had crept into her tone now.
Archie turned fully towards the door, baffled by what was going on. The door itself along with Lavinia’s body however prevented him from seeing the person outside.
“No, I will not move,” a voice that was usually sweet as honey but was now dripping with ice said. “You, madam, will kindly go back inside and tell me exactly what you have been doing with my husband.”
Archie’s throat constricted and he felt rooted to the spot as if Cecilia’s voice had been enough to freeze him instantly. All he was able to do was turn his head slightly and watch as Lavinia stepped inside the room again and a scowling Cecilia followed. She sent him only the briefest of glances before she focused on his former mistress again.
“Tell me,” she demanded.
“Exactly what we have been doing seems rather a lot to ask, but if you are certain that you wish to know, Lady Archibald,” Lavinia drawled. Her face and tone showed amusement, but the rigid posture of her shoulders told another story.
Her crass statement was however enough to wake Archie from his reverie.
“Cecilia,” he breathed as he rushed towards her. “Nothing has happened.”
She turned to him with a dead expression in her eyes as if she did not see him.
“Nothing? Really, Archie?” she asked in a tired voice.
“Nothing, Cecilia, I swear.” He could not help but reach out and take her gloved hand despite being certain that she would not appreciate it. She did not withdraw her hand as he had thought, but merely let him hold her completely still and limp hand. It seemed an omen of what their marriage would become from now on and Archie had to swallow hard several times to be able to speak. “I would never betray you, Cecilia. What you and I have...”
“What we have? What exactly do we have?” She snatched her hand from him. There was anger in her voice now, and her eyes were focused on him. Deadly sharp as if they could wound him severely.
“We are married,” Archie answered because he had no words that were able to encompass exactly what she was to him: his best friend and his lover brought together in one person. The one that he most wanted to spend his time with and who he thought about when she was not there.
“Married,” Cecilia hmphed on a breath of air. “I know exactly how you view marriage...”
“We haven't fucked,” Lavinia interrupted, managing to sound both amused and bored at the same time.
Cecilia turned towards her as if she had forgotten the other woman was in the room. Which she very well could have.
“Fucked?” she repeated and the word sounded unbelievably crass coming from her.
“Yes, well, coupled or slept together or whatever you fancy people call it,” Lavinia told her and adjusted her shoulders.
“Thank you, I am familiar with the term. What, then, were you doing here if not having an affair?” Cecilia crossed her arms over her chest and looked at Lavinia through narrowed eyes.
Archie took a step forward as if it could prevent the damage that was about to permanently destroy his marriage.
“Well, I am expecting, and I needed Archie’s help finding a family to take care of the baby,” Lavinia told Cecilia matter-of-factly and seemed to think that this should somehow be soothing to her. Archie scowled at her for a moment, before focusing on Cecilia. He gently placed a hand on her arm.
“Cecilia?” he queried.
The most well-placed right hook that Archie had ever seen landed right in his left eye socket. So quick and powerful that he had no time to react. His admiration lasted only a moment before the pain kicked in and he stumbled into the table as he held a hand protectively over his eye.
“No affair! Not slept together!” Cecilia bellowed as she let punches rain down over his arms and shoulders. “You’re having a child with her!”
“That was before, that was before,” Lavinia shouted over Archie’s protest of: “Never while we were married.”
They were interrupted when the door was opened and the innkeeper along with a burly fellow that looked like a groom entered.
“My lord,” the innkeeper exclaimed, and Archie could see the shock on his face. Cecilia was still standing with her fists raised, Archie was cornered at the table where he tried to protect his face, while Lavinia was tugging on one of Cecilia’s arms. All movement had stopped though when the innkeeper burst in. “My lord, are these women bothering you?”
Archie straightened and let his hands fall down his side.
“No, everything is fine. Just a minor disagreement. I am sorry if we were speaking too loudly.” He tried to smile, but the lift of his cheek hurt his eye and he was quite certain that it turned out as a grimace of pain instead.
“Very well, do not hesitate to call me if you need assistance,” the innkeeper waited for a moment while Archie nodded. “And if you would please keep the volume down to not disturb my other guests,” he added, before leaving with the groomsman in tow without waiting for their reassurances.
Archie turned towards Cecilia and gently nudged both her fists to her sides.
“Now if you would please let me explain,” he began.
“What is there to explain? You are having a child with someone else,” Cecilia asked in a thin voice, and Archie could see a sheen of tears cover her eyes.
“Yes, and I am sorry. You do understand, however, that it happened months before I met you?” Archie asked gently. He needed to be completely certain that she understood the situation.
Cecilia nodded and turned towards Lavinia who was still standing right behind her.
“How far along are you?” she whispered.
“Four months,” Lavinia answered in the most compassionate tone of voice that Archie had ever heard her use.
“It will be in March then. Or April,” Cecilia stated flatly.
Lavinia only nodded. Her eyes were fixed on Cecilia as if she might explode again.
“And you wish to give the child away?” Cecilia went on.
Lavinia nodded again.
“Why?” The word was so full of disbelief that it seemed to tell a story in itself. About how Cecilia could never give away a child, how she would love it and cherish it. How she would make a great mother someday.
Archie gulped as he realized that day might never come. He would be lucky if she ever let him into her bed after today. The only chance of the two of them having a child would be if she was already pregnant. Archie felt a flutter deep in his belly at the thought. He had never given children much thought; he had no particular feelings towards the child Lavinia was carrying, except that he wanted it to have as good a life as possible, but the children that he and Cecilia might have... The world did not seem to make sense if they did not come to be born.
“Because,” Lavinia interrupted his train of thought and inhaled deeply before continuing, “I don’t care to have a child. A woman’s life ends when she has a child and mine has only just begun.”
There was a fragile quality to her voice that once again made Archie think about what her background was. He felt a bit sheepish for not having wondered previously.
If Cecilia heard the other woman’s fragility, she did not let it show. Her voice was once again angry when she asked:
“And what did you have in mind then?”
For the first time, Archie saw Lavinia at a loss for words. Her mouth opened and closed without her saying anything. Archie stepped closer to Cecilia. He wanted to put his hands on her shoulders but was uncertain how she would react.
“We have been looking for a family to take care of the child. Preferably someone who will be willing to pass the child off as their own,” he explained to her.
Cecilia had turned her head in his direction as he spoke but was still not looking at him. He waited for her response with his breath held.
“Such care you have put into this. Only too bad that you did not take such care previously,” she muttered without looking at either of them, then strode out of the room.