My mother was delighted to meet Margaret that weekend. ‘Amy has told us so much about you, Miss Price,’ she said. ‘She says she couldn’t manage without you.’
‘Please call me Margaret.’ She blushed and glanced at me awkwardly. ‘It’s odd that you should say that, Mrs Robinson. I was going to tell Amy today … I’ve had a letter offering me a new job. It’s with a small fashion house making dresses for rich women, and they say they will pay me another two pounds a week. I wanted to know what Amy thought I should do.’
‘When did that come?’ I asked her. ‘It seems very odd. Have you ever been sent a letter like that before?’
‘No. I couldn’t believe it when I read it this morning. There must be dozens of girls looking for work at a place like that. Why should anyone be interested in me?’
‘You’re very good at your job,’ I reminded her. ‘Don’t forget what Mrs Simpson said the other day.’
‘I try to please,’ Margaret agreed. ‘But I’m no better than loads of others. It’s your designs and your ideas that make those dresses so lovely.’
‘It would mean another two pounds a week for you.’
‘Yes, I could do with the money.’ Margaret frowned. ‘But I should be letting you down, Amy.’
‘I could find someone to do the sewing, but it isn’t easy to find a girl who knows how to cut. How did you learn exactly?’
‘My father was a bespoke tailor for years. He showed me, and then I worked for the same firm until he died.’ Margaret smiled a little sadly. ‘He was a good man but he died too young. My mother said he wore himself out working such long hours to make ends meet. She thinks I should take this new job, because the extra money is regular. I suppose I ought to at least find out a bit more.’
‘Let me talk to Lainie. Perhaps we could pay you more.’
‘Oh, I wouldn’t want that, unless I did extra hours. If I stay it’s because I want to.’
‘You can’t turn down two pounds a week,’ my mother said. ‘It’s too much to lose, Margaret. If Lainie wants you to stay she will have to pay you.’
I agreed and yet I knew Lainie wouldn’t be happy. Margaret was already paid a fair wage, but if she left I would just have to manage by myself. I could do it but it had made things easier with Margaret to help me.
The subject was dropped when Terry and my father came back for their tea. They had been out for a walk and had stopped to watch a local cricket match being played on the stretch of green by the river.
‘It was just a few lads having fun,’ Terry said, ‘but it was good entertainment and Dad made the best catch of the day.’
‘Life in the old dog yet, eh, son?’ I caught a look between them.
Terry grinned and shook his head, and seeing them at ease together, my worries for my father were eased. My father looked as well as he was always telling us he felt.
‘You’re becoming a regular visitor, Amy,’ he said. ‘I shall have you wanting to move back in soon.’
‘No fear of that,’ my mother said. ‘She’s having too much fun, aren’t you, love?’
I agreed that I was and told them that I had been invited to Mary’s dance, which was at the beginning of September – just a few weeks away now.
‘I need a new evening dress,’ I said. ‘I’ve been saving up but I’m not sure I shall have enough for the one I like. It’s twenty pounds in the shop, rather expensive, but I haven’t got time to make anything at the moment.’
‘I’ll lend you the money you need,’ my mother said at once.’
‘I could make you something,’ Margaret offered. ‘I’ve got a machine at home. I shan’t leave for a month, anyway. I couldn’t let Lainie down. I should have to give her time to get someone else to take my place. If we cut your dress out together I could do most of the seaming at home.’
‘Surely Lainie doesn’t charge you the full price for your clothes?’ my mother said, and I could see she had been thinking it through.
‘Of course she doesn’t, Mum. But I’ll need shoes and other things. If I’m going to stay for the weekend, I’ll need at least one other new dress to take with me.’
‘I’ll help you if you need money,’ my father said. ‘Can’t have you looking dowdy, Amy.’
‘She never does,’ Margaret said loyally. ‘Even when Miss Adams and Miss Maitland come in, she looks every bit as nice as they do.’
‘Who is Miss Maitland?’ my mother asked. Her voice hadn’t changed, but I thought she had gone very still, and I noticed something in her manner, the quick exchange of looks between her and my father.
‘That’s Mary’s name. Haven’t I ever mentioned it? I meant to tell you when I first found out, but it must have slipped my mind. I didn’t think it important. She’s just Mary to me.’
‘I don’t think you …’ my mother began and stopped as my father frowned at her. ‘You said you had met Mary’s father, Amy. You thought he was quite nice, didn’t you?’
‘He isn’t often around,’ I said, wondering at the look in her eyes. She seemed nervous and almost frightened, definitely strained. ‘Mary likes to keep her friends to herself. I seldom see Mr Maitland. I think he is away a lot.’
‘It’s a curious name,’ my father said in a carefully measured tone that was supposed to make the enquiry seem casual, but didn’t quite. ‘I knew a Philip Maitland once – do you suppose he might be the same man?’
‘I don’t know, Dad. He did tell me his first name when we were introduced, but I call him Mr Maitland, or sir, and I’m not sure of his first name. He’s a rich man and very busy, I know that much. Mary doesn’t want to talk about him often and I don’t ask questions. I think they live separate lives most of the time. It’s not a nice thing to say, but I don’t think she likes him.’
‘Do you have any idea why she doesn’t like her father, Amy?’
‘I think he wasn’t very kind to her mother, but as I said she doesn’t talk about him often. Why do you want to know about him? Is there something wrong?’
‘Joe, I think we should …’
‘No, Bridget, not just now, my dear.’
I saw the furtive exchange of looks again. They were both worried about something but they didn’t want me to know. Yet it seemed it was because of Mary’s father.
‘The Mr Maitland you knew,’ I said, meeting my father’s gaze. ‘You didn’t like him, did you?’
‘No, not much,’ he said. ‘He wasn’t a nice person, Amy. If I thought it was the same man I might ask you not to go there again – but there must be other people with the same name, and I wouldn’t want to spoil your pleasure for nothing. I expect everything is all right, but I shall make some enquiries.’
‘Joe …’ My mother looked at him anxiously. ‘Shouldn’t we tell her?’
‘Not yet, love. It might not be him.’ He glanced at Margaret, who was talking animatedly to Terry. ‘Leave it with me for a few days.’
‘I wish you would tell me if something is wrong.’
‘Not today,’ my father said and glanced at Margaret again. ‘Best to be sure, Bridget. Don’t worry, Amy. Your mother and I will have a little talk and sort things out. If there’s anything to tell you, I’ll do it next time you come over to see us.’
‘I’ve been talking to Margaret,’ Terry said into the silence that had suddenly fallen. ‘She says that Ivor Novello is on stage next week. Shall we all go and see him? Margaret has already said she would like to go. You’ll come, won’t you, Amy?’
‘Oh, yes, I’d love to,’ I agreed.
My father said that he would think about it, and that we should certainly take my mother as she would enjoy herself, but she shook her head and said that she would rather not.
‘You young ones go and enjoy yourselves. I prefer to listen to the wireless or the gramophone in the evenings these days.’
I was anxious about my mother. She looked really upset. Whatever Mr Maitland had done must have been very unpleasant.
I wished they would tell me what was wrong. I wasn’t a child any longer, but they seemed to think I must be protected. It was obvious that my father wanted to talk things over with Mum before saying anything to me.
Terry took us home later that evening in Dad’s car. He dropped me off first and drove on with Margaret, though she had wanted to catch a tram.
‘I’ll take you home,’ Terry said. ‘It’s no trouble. We might have a drink somewhere on the way.’
I waved goodbye to them and went upstairs to Lainie’s flat. I could hear voices and as I went in I saw a young man sitting in a chair by the window. He stood up as I entered and looked expectant as Lainie introduced us.
‘This is my son, Amy. John, this is Bridget’s daughter.’
He smiled and offered his hand. ‘I’ve heard so much about you, Amy.’
‘I hope it was good.’
I shook his hand. His clasp was firm and his smile pleasant. If I hadn’t suspected him of being a thief, I should have liked him very much. Yet perhaps I was being unfair.
‘John popped over to see me on the spur of the moment,’ Lainie said, looking happier than I remembered seeing her before. ‘We’ve had a really good talk. He says that if I do get married he wouldn’t mind coming to live near us in the country.’
‘I think it would be a good idea for Lainie to make the move while she is still young enough to enjoy life. Why does she want to work all the time if she doesn’t have to?’
‘Oh … No reason,’ I said, surprised. ‘Unless she wants to, of course. I thought you enjoyed having the shop, Lainie?’
‘I do and I don’t,’ she admitted with a sigh. ‘I’ve always had to work, Amy, but Harold is comfortably off and so am I when you think about it. He wouldn’t mind if I sold up altogether.’
I felt disappointed. If Lainie sold the shop instead of letting me run it for her I would be out of a job, and I certainly couldn’t live over the shop with Matthew then. I didn’t remind her of her promise, but I wondered why she had changed her mind, and I thought John must have put the idea into her head.
‘John says there are lots of way to invest the money from the sale,’ Lainie went on. ‘His firm do all that sort of thing for their clients and John knows all about it. He would help me if I wanted him to.’
‘But only if you want,’ he said quickly. ‘It’s your decision, your money.’
For how long? I wondered. Just as long as it took him to wheedle it out of her? It was a mean thought and I smothered it quickly.
‘Yes, it’s your decision, but I shouldn’t make it too quickly if I were you, Lainie. You have always enjoyed the shop and you might miss it. I’ve got something to tell you later, but it will keep until the morning. I’m going to bed now. It was nice to meet you, John.’
‘And to meet you, Amy. Perhaps we could go out one evening – get to know one another?’
‘Perhaps, but not just yet. I’m rather busy at the moment. I have a lot of work to finish for clients. Goodnight.’
He looked disappointed. Had he thought I would be as easy to charm as his mother had been? Another mean thought! I was having them all the time about John Fisher.
I tried to smother my anger and my disappointment, and to think about Lainie’s son in a fair-minded way. It was entirely possible that he was merely thinking about his mother. I ought to give him the benefit of the doubt, at least for the moment.
Besides, I had other things on my mind. I had been going to ask Lainie if she knew anything about Mr Maitland, but now I decided I wouldn’t. Lainie had enough on her mind as it was, and she wasn’t going to be pleased when I told her that Margaret might be leaving us.
‘I couldn’t possibly give her an extra two pounds a week,’ Lainie exclaimed when I told her. ‘It doesn’t stop there, Amy. If the other girls found out they would all want more. Besides, I already pay her more than Peggy and Sally. It wouldn’t be fair to them.’
‘I knew you would think that,’ I said, ‘and I can’t disagree, Lainie. You pay the girls good wages, and it wouldn’t be fair – although Margaret does help me with the cutting for the special dresses.’
‘I know, and I realize you will miss her if she goes,’ Lainie said, looking doubtful. ‘But I’m really not sure about carrying on this design thing, Amy. At the moment we are neither one thing nor the other. We can only make Mary’s dresses and one or two other bits and pieces if you are willing to give all your time to the embroidery. It seems to me you can’t carry on like that forever. Matthew won’t want you to be working all the time when you are married.’
‘No, I don’t suppose he will,’ I admitted, but the disappointment was sharp. ‘I would like to carry on for a while though.’
‘Yes, of course you should,’ she said. ‘I know I suggested that you might like to run this shop for me, Amy, and it would have been up to you what you did then – but if I do decide to sell … Well, I can’t see that we’d want to take on extra staff just for a few months.’
‘No, I see that. So shall I tell Margaret to take the job if she wants?’
‘I think it is best. We really only need two girls if we go back to doing just alterations anyway.’
I felt a little resentful and upset as I went down to the shop that morning. It was only natural that Lainie should think of herself, of course, but she hadn’t been thinking that way until John put the idea into her head.
A part of me wanted to tell Lainie about the missing money, but I decided to keep it to myself for the moment. It would only sound like sour grapes.
Matthew came to see me that weekend. He took me to a show and dinner on Saturday, and on Sunday we went over to see my parents, though we didn’t stay to have lunch with them. Matthew wanted me to see a little house he had seen advertised for sale in a nice suburban area.
‘I’m thinking of putting a deposit on it,’ he told me. ‘It has been for sale for some months now, and I think I might be able to get it cheaper – though it probably wants a bit doing to it, so you mustn’t be disappointed.’
‘How could I be disappointed?’ I asked, feeling excited. ‘Oh, Matthew! I thought it was going to be ages before we could buy a house – that’s why I was so disappointed when Lainie said she might be selling the shop.’
‘I might take a lease on the shop if she decided to let instead of selling,’ he said, looking thoughtful. ‘Not for a dress shop, though. I don’t know enough about ladies’ clothes – and Lainie’s quite right. I would rather you didn’t work once we are married, Amy.’
‘You wouldn’t mind me selling my designs to fashion houses if I could, though, would you?’ I asked anxiously.
‘No, of course not. I just want you to give most of your time to the home and me – and we may have children, though not too soon. I want you to myself for a while.’
When Matthew looked at me that way I melted inside, and my ambitions faded into the background. I clung to him when he kissed me and felt the desire surge between us.
This was right for me; this was how it should be. It was foolish to mind too much about other things when I had all this.
The house was about the same size as the one Matthew’s parents owned, but in a rather rough state. My heart sank when I first saw it – there was so much to do! Matthew saw it through different eyes.
‘I know it looks pretty bad now,’ he said. ‘But most of it is easy enough to put right. It wants completely stripping out, new plaster on the walls and ceilings and a new bathroom and kitchen. It will look very smart then, I promise you – and it is a nice area, Amy. Just what you wanted.’
‘Yes, I like the area,’ I agreed. The suburb was not much bigger than a village, with a shop, post office and a doctor all within reach. There was also a playing field for the children and a pond with ducks swimming on it. It was within easy reach of the town by train. Ideal for Matthew to get to work. ‘The neighbours aren’t too close, and they look friendly – that woman waved as she saw us come in. Yes, it will be nice when it’s done, but isn’t that going to cost a lot of money?’
‘I had a word with your father,’ Matthew said. ‘He knows some people who will do it for us at a reasonable rate. It might be ready for Christmas.’
‘Does that mean we could get married?’
‘Yes, I think so,’ he said and smiled as I hugged him. ‘I thought that might please you.’
‘It does. Of course it does. You know that’s what I’ve always wanted.’
‘You haven’t changed your mind then?’ He looked at me oddly. ‘I wondered if all this talk of dress designing and mixing with Mary and her friends had made you think again.’
‘No! No, of course it hasn’t.’
I blushed and hugged him, but I couldn’t quite meet his eyes. I was still in love with Matthew, of course I was … But I liked being Mary’s friend, and I liked the new world she had opened up for me. And even Matthew’s surprise about the house hadn’t quite eased the disappointment I’d felt over Lainie’s change of heart.
I suppose the praise from Jane Adams and a few others had gone to my head, making me think I was something special. Of course I wasn’t really, just a very ordinary girl with a small talent for designing clothes to suit people.
I tried to put my disappointment behind me, and think about how lucky I was to have Matthew. He loved me very much, and I knew he was buying the house sooner than he had really wanted to because he wanted to make me happy.
‘I’m not sure if I can, but I might come up again the week after next,’ he told me just before we parted. ‘If I get the house I might meet Joe there and hear what he has to say about renovating it. Your father knows a lot of stuff like that, Amy.’
‘Yes, I think he’s done up a few properties in his time,’ I said. ‘I’m going to stay with Mary in the country that weekend, Matthew. It’s her special dance and I shall need to be on hand for any last minute fittings she might need …’
Matthew frowned as he saw the faint flush in my cheeks.
‘You weren’t going to tell me that, were you?’
‘I didn’t want to make you cross,’ I admitted.
‘Then you admit I might have reason to be?’ The look in Matthew’s eyes made me feel guilty. ‘I’m not going to ask if there’s someone else, Amy. I just want you to think very carefully about what you want. If it’s not me, then I hope you will be honest and tell me before things go too far.’
‘Matthew! Of course there isn’t anyone else, not like that. I just enjoy being friendly with Mary, that’s all.’
‘Then tell me what you’re doing. Please don’t hide it from me, Amy – or I shall think the worst.’
‘Don’t look at me as if I’ve committed a crime.’ The hurt in his face was making me squirm inside and I kept thinking about the way I’d let Paul kiss me. ‘I do love you, Matthew.’
He reached out to touch my cheek. ‘I love you, Amy – but I don’t want to hold you if what I can offer isn’t enough. Think about it and tell me next time I come. I shall not come for a week or two, but I’m still going to offer for the house, because I think it’s a good investment.’
I didn’t answer and Matthew walked away, leaving me to go home alone.
‘Oh, I do like to be beside the seaside,’ Sally sang over her work that Monday morning. ‘Beside the seaside, beside the sea …’
She was not particularly tuneful, but she was happy. Margaret smiled at me as I handed her the back panel of Mary’s dress, which I had embroidered with beads.
‘That’s beautiful, Amy,’ she said. ‘I can sew both panels together now and it will be ready for her to try on when she comes in.’
‘I think I shall take a break before I start on the next one.’
Margaret hesitated. ‘We’ve got a social evening on at the church hall tonight. All the money we collect is going to charity. It’s for ex-servicemen who were gassed in the war. The tickets are two shillings. I don’t suppose you would like to come?’
‘Yes, I would,’ I said, smiling at her. ‘I was wondering what I might do with myself – and it’s for a wonderful cause.’
So many ex-servicemen had become part of the ‘forgotten army’: men who had returned after so much suffering and self-sacrifice to a grateful nation but had soon discovered there were no jobs and none of the benefits that had been promised them.
Just after the war it had been common to see them on the streets hawking cheap goods from trays they carried about their necks. It was seen less often now but they still stood on street corners, jobless and hopeless, their faces reflecting the kind of despair that only poverty brings.
‘Oh good,’ Margaret said. ‘It’s always nice to see a new face at these things, and as you say it’s for a worthwhile cause.’
‘I’ll come an’ all,’ Sally chipped in. ‘I can spare two bob for ’em. My cousin Billy were gassed. He near enough coughed his bloody lungs up afore he choked to death. What about you, Peggy? Are you comin’ wiv us?’
Peggy looked at her for a moment and then back at her sewing.
‘I can’t manage it. There’s no one to look after the baby at night. ‘Sides, it takes me all me time to keep body and soul together. Leave charity to them what can afford it, that’s what I say.’
She shot an accusing look at me.
I saw the exchange of glances between Sally and Margaret and wondered. It seemed to me that they didn’t much like the newcomer to the workroom.
I enjoyed my evening. After leaving Margaret and the others that morning, I telephoned my mother at home and left a message for my brother, asking if he would like to accompany me to the social evening.
‘Tell him to pick me up at seven if he wants to come, Mum.’
Terry was there on the dot. I knew from his expression that he was keen to see Margaret again, and I was glad I had asked him.
The entrance fee paid for a cup of tea, but sandwiches and sausage rolls were extra. There were lots of other things we could spend our money on, including draw tickets and toys made by disabled servicemen.
Between us, Terry and I spent three pounds, which pleased Margaret and her mother no end.
‘Mum is thrilled,’ Margaret told us towards the end. ‘We’ve never done quite so well. I think you’ve brought us luck, Amy. We’ve raised quite a bit for the charity. I’m so grateful.’ She spoke to me but I noticed that her large brown eyes were on my brother most of the time.
I sensed a blossoming romance between them, and I wished that everything could be as pleasant. Why had I quarrelled with Matthew when I didn’t really want to?
I asked Terry how my father was when he took me home afterwards.
‘He seems all right, but I don’t like to see him looking so tired all the time … But don’t worry too much, Amy. He’ll be fine if he slows down a bit, takes things easy for a while.’
That was easier said than done. I’d never known my father to take things easy.
Terry dropped me outside the flat. I went upstairs to find Lainie sitting over her accounts. She looked up and smiled.
‘Did you enjoy yourself?’
‘Yes, thank you. There was a bit of dancing and some party games for the children. It was very much a family evening.’
‘Yes, these things usually are.’ She frowned. ‘I think we shall have to charge more for the next dress Mary orders. It’s all very well for Mrs Holland to insist on a discount but you’re working all hours for nothing.’
‘I haven’t minded,’ I said. ‘Mary has been nice to me.’
‘Well, as long as you don’t mind, but I’m sure she could afford to pay the full price. Just don’t let her use you too much, Amy.’
‘No, I shan’t,’ I said and went to kiss her cheek.
I was thoughtful as I went to my room. Was Mary using me? Or was she really my friend?
I was introduced to Harold Brompton for the first time that weekend. He had come up to visit Lainie, and he took us both out for a special dinner at the Savoy Hotel. I had never been there before, and I was thrilled to see how grand it looked.
‘I wanted to take you both somewhere special,’ he told us. ‘I’ve come into a little money, you see. It’s not a huge fortune, but a nice house and some land. I’m hoping to persuade Lainie to come down and take a look soon. It’s bigger than my own house – and just crying out for a mistress.’
‘Well, we’ll see,’ she said. But I could tell she was thinking very seriously about it. ‘Not this weekend, Harold, but perhaps in a few weeks.’
‘You could come too if you wanted, Amy.’ He smiled at me. ‘I’ve told Lainie that all her family will be welcome once we’re married.’
‘I haven’t said yes yet,’ she reminded him, but she was smiling and I guessed that she was very near to making up her mind.
Harold was a decent man and I thought he would look after my aunt, but I knew that when she did marry him I might well be out of a job.
My mother came into the shop on the Thursday afternoon of the following week just before lunchtime. She had a look through the rails and picked out a dress she liked, which Lainie took away to have wrapped for her.
‘It’s time I had a new dress,’ she said when we were alone. ‘Joe is always telling me I should spend more on myself.’
‘That isn’t why you came though, is it?’
‘I thought we might go out to lunch, if you have time?’
‘Yes, of course. We can pop out and have a sandwich just next door. I mustn’t be too long, because I have a client coming in for a fitting in an hour, but we’ll go now. You can collect your dress when we come back.’
There was a nice little café next door to Lainie’s where the girls sometimes went for tea and sandwiches. They made simple things like salads and omelettes, too. I had an egg and cress sandwich and my mother had an omelette with salad.
She didn’t eat very much, just picked at it with her fork.
‘Isn’t it very nice?’
‘Yes, of course it’s fine.’ She laid down her fork and gave me a straight look. ‘Would you be very disappointed if I asked you not to go to Mary’s this weekend?’
‘Oh, Mum,’ I said, stunned. ‘You know I would. I’ve been looking forward to it so much. Why don’t you want me to go? Is it something to do with Mary’s father?’
‘Yes …’ She sighed. ‘Joe said I wasn’t to spoil your fun. He says I worry too much and that you’re too sensible to get involved with him. You wouldn’t get involved with an older man, would you, Amy? Only Mr Maitland isn’t a very nice man and I would be very unhappy if you did.’
‘If that’s all you’re worried about …’ I laughed. ‘I promise you I shan’t, Mum. I know that older men sometimes like young girls, but I wouldn’t give him the chance. He suggested something about me finding a backer for a fashion house based on my designs, but I told him I wasn’t interested because I was going to get married.’ I smiled at her. ‘If Matthew and I get married at Christmas I shan’t see much of Mary then anyway.’
‘Good.’ She laughed at herself. ‘I know I worry too much, Amy – and your father doesn’t want me to tell you why, not at the moment – but just be careful of Mr Maitland, please.’
‘I promise I won’t let him get me in any dark corners. He probably won’t be there anyway.’
‘Terry has decided he’s coming with you for the weekend,’ she said. ‘He will be there if you need him, love. Your father told him he could have the time off. He’ll drive you down tomorrow and bring you back when you’re ready.’
They had arranged it between them. Mum had tried to persuade me not to go, but they had a back-up plan to cover all emergencies. I wasn’t sure whether to laugh at them for fussing over me like old hens or to be annoyed that they thought I needed looking after.
‘I wish you would tell me what Mary’s father did to you, Mum.’
‘It wasn’t to me,’ she said. ‘There were other people who were hurt. I would tell you all of it, but Joe says we shouldn’t – and I suppose he is right. But remember that Mr Maitland isn’t nice and he isn’t kind, Amy. I think you are safe enough if you keep your distance, but don’t trust him.’
‘Mary has told him to leave me alone, Mum. I’m her friend, and I think he respects that. It’s almost as if she draws a line and he can’t cross over it for some reason.’
‘Yes. He told me once that he respects decent women,’ my mother said. ‘But if he ever thought you had crossed that line …’ A little shiver went through her. ‘I would still rather you didn’t go, Amy – but if you’re set on it I shan’t forbid you.’ She smiled as she pushed her plate away. ‘Have you got everything you want? We’ve got time to go shopping if you need some new shoes.’
‘I bought them yesterday. If you’ve got time to come up to my room, I’ll show them to you. And Margaret has almost finished my dress. She is going to bring it to work with her in the morning. We’ll decide on any last-minute changes before I leave. It will make things easier if Terry is taking me down. I’ll phone Mary this evening and tell her.’
‘I believe your brother has already done that,’ she said. ‘Come on, we’ll pay for this and go. I should like to see your new shoes.’