chapter 3

The Emotional Landscape

Understanding How Emotions Affect Your Body

We all experience a wide array of emotions, including anger, calm, sadness, joy, irritation, boredom, appreciation, and many others. This range of emotions is what we refer to as our emotional landscape. The range of our emotions, and also how they change throughout the day, is part of what makes life so interesting and, at times, so challenging.

Emotions often seem strange and unpredictable. At times, they come out of nowhere at lightning-fast speed. Some—like anger—are loud and easy to see, while others—like boredom—are more subtle and can be more difficult to identify or pin down. Sometimes our emotions don’t seem to make sense, and we wish they would just “go away.” Sometimes they distract us when we are trying hard to focus on something else—like schoolwork.

Even though emotions can feel like a pain at times, they also can be really helpful. If you think about it, don’t our emotions tell us whether we like or dislike something, are comfortable or uncomfortable, feel safe or unsafe? Without the experience of emotion, we would not be motivated to take action. Scientists even say that emotions play an important role in our survival. Without fear, for example, we would not try to avoid serious danger.

But, as you may be starting to see, some of our emotional responses are too reactive and immature. A few of them really need to be better managed if we are going to be our best more often! We may at times, for example, find ourselves stuck over and over again in the same emotional rut, and this rut does not serve us well. Maybe we are easily angered, constantly anxious, overly dramatic, frequently frustrated, or chronically depressed. While emotions are neither good nor bad, some of them do need our attention if we are going to be our best selves.

So, how do you deal with all these emotions, especially the ones that need a bit of managing? One way is to use a great visual tool called the Emotional Landscape. It’s a diagram that helps you become aware of the wide range of emotions you experience each day and how these emotions can affect you. This chapter will teach you how to use the Emotional Landscape. Why is this important? Well, everyone experiences a big mixture of emotions in response to life’s events. However, as we mentioned earlier, emotions can affect you far more than you realize. They can influence whether or not you have brain fog and muddled thinking. They determine if your nervous system is amped up or calmed down, or even if you are bathing yourself in stress hormones. Emotions can strongly affect how you respond to a situation—whether you blurt out something that gets you in trouble or respond in a more responsible, mature way. They can even influence how deeply you sleep and how fast you actually fall asleep.

So, given how important emotions are in life, understanding the Emotional Landscape diagram and learning how to use it can be very helpful. Here are some ways it can help you:

Understanding the Emotional Landscape

The Emotional Landscape is a diagram that you can use to gain important information about and insight into how your emotions affect you. Take a look at the diagram below. We’ll walk you through it so you’ll understand it, and then we’ll teach you how to use it.

Range of Emotions: Depleting and Renewing

First, you’ll see that the diagram is divided into four quadrants. Take a look at the two quadrants on the left side: near the top of the diagram, you’ll see the label “Depletion” and along the left side, you’ll see the label “Depleting Emotions.” These are the emotions that you experience when you’re stressed. They also can drain your inner battery if left unmanaged. They make you feel pretty lousy, too. The right two quadrants are labeled “Renewal” (near the top) and “Renewing Emotions” (along the right side) because they change what’s happening in your body and actually have a renewing effect on you. The emotions that fall into the two right quadrants feel good and also charge up your inner battery.

Heart Rate

Now look for the arrow that goes from top to bottom: it indicates heart rate. You’ll see that the upper two quadrants are labeled “High Heart Rate” and the lower two quadrants are labeled “Low Heart Rate.” When your heart rate is high (upper quadrants), it’s like you’re stepping on the gas pedal in a car, which burns more gas. Only in this case, it’s your own energy that you are burning. This is because your nervous system is revved up, which is indicated by your high heart rate. When your heart rate is lower (lower quadrants), however, it’s like you’re stepping on the brake, which means you aren’t using as much energy. Your nervous system is not revved up. Your internal system slows down, just like a car slows down when the brake is applied.

Hormonal System

The Landscape also shows what type of hormones you’re producing and that are circulating in your body. (See the horizontal arrow labeled “Hormonal System” across the middle of the diagram.) Hormones are chemicals that have many important functions in your body such as regulating your metabolism, organ functions, and body temperature. Hormones also affect your sleep and emotions. Some hormones have a long-lasting effect—that is, they affect your body for hours after they are produced. One of these is cortisol, which is known as the main stress hormone. You see it labeled on the left side of the diagram. When you experience depleting emotions (left two quadrants), your body produces more cortisol. As we just mentioned, cortisol can affect your body for hours after it is released. It is also well known that increased cortisol can keep you from sleeping well. When you find it difficult to sleep and you toss and turn a lot, you probably wake up feeling tired because you didn’t get the full renewing effects of good sleep. As a result, your inner battery isn’t getting recharged, and your resilience is low, making it more difficult to handle things that come up. You might feel more tension or irritation, and you may become overwhelmed more easily—in other words, stressful feelings start building up.

Now look at the right side of the diagram where you’ll see the letters DHEA. That stands for dehydroepiandrosterone, so you can see why we just say “DHEA”! DHEA is also a hormone, but it has a very different effect on your body than cortisol has. DHEA has a renewing effect and is commonly known as the “vitality hormone.” When you experience renewing emotions that fall on the right side of the Landscape, your body produces more DHEA.

We need both cortisol and DHEA for healthy functioning. We’re better off, though, when they are in balance without too much of one or the other.

Your Emotional Landscape

Now that you have the lay of the Emotional Landscape, let’s see how the emotions you experience each day fit into the four quadrants. We’ll walk you through this step by step. You’ll want to get out your notebook and draw a picture of the Landscape. Give yourself plenty of room. (Or, if you prefer, you can download a copy of the Emotional Landscape diagram from http://www.newharbinger.com/31946.)

As a quick review, the two upper quadrants are like stepping on the gas pedal and you burn more energy; this can rapidly drain your inner battery because you have a higher heart rate. The lower two quadrants mean you’re not burning as much energy. The left two quadrants are for emotions that have a depleting effect on you and the right two quadrants are for emotions that feel good and renew you.

As you do the following exercise, remember that emotions are not good or bad, right or wrong. You’re human and you’re going to experience lots of different emotions. Everyone experiences lots of them—every day! Different emotions, however, affect you differently. That’s what the Landscape will help you see. It’s also a good way to inventory all the emotions you tend to experience during the day.

Exercise: Mapping Your Emotional Landscape

Part 1: Identify Your Depleting Emotions

Step 1: Begin in the upper-left quadrant. This quadrant is for strong depleting emotions; they drain a lot of energy, sometimes very rapidly. The emotions people describe here are usually the ones they experience when they are “triggered”—emotions like anger, fear, impatience, irritation, frustration, anxiety, rage, and being overwhelmed.

What strong depleting emotions have you experienced in the last couple of days? Did you get angry about something or feel really embarrassed in a situation? Did you feel overwhelmed by your schoolwork or anxious because you felt like you didn’t fit in? List your strong depleting emotions in the upper-left quadrant.

Step 2: The lower-left quadrant is for “quieter” depleting emotions, such as feeling worried, sad, bored, helpless, numb, lonely, or depressed. You probably can think of others.

What “quieter” depleting emotions have you experienced in the last couple of days? Did you feel bored in a class, or feel lonely because you’re in a new school, or sad because you feel like you just don’t fit in? List your quieter depleting emotions in the lower-left quadrant.

Part 2: Identify Your Renewing Emotions

Step 1: The lower-right quadrant is for “quieter” renewing emotions. These are emotions that feel good. Some examples are peace, contentment, appreciation, care, love, calm, and fulfillment.

What “quieter” renewing emotions have you experienced in the last couple of days? Did you feel love for your pet when he greeted you when you came home? Did you feel appreciation because someone helped you with a project? Did you feel calm or peaceful while taking a walk outdoors? List your quieter renewing emotions in the lower-right quadrant.

Step 2: And finally, the upper-right quadrant is for strong renewing emotions where you feel energized. These are emotions such as joy, happiness, enthusiasm, passion, or courage.

What strong renewing emotions have you experienced in the last couple of days? Did you feel happy when you hung out with friends? Did you feel enthusiastic when you got some good news about something important to you? List your strong renewing emotions in the upper-right quadrant. One thing to mention here is that if you stay feeling enthusiastic, excited, or joyful too long, it can also gradually drain you because your heart rate is higher. Your heart rate is a good indicator of how much energy your body is using.

Part 3: Reflect on Your Emotions

Step 1: After listing in the quadrants the emotions you’ve experienced recently, ask yourself, What emotion(s) do I experience often? Circle them.

Step 2: Then ask yourself, In which quadrant(s) do I spend the most time? Put an X in the applicable quadrant(s). There’s no right or wrong answer. Be really honest with yourself so you can see where you might be draining (left quadrants) or recharging (right quadrants) your inner battery.

Step 3: Next, write the word “Goal” in the quadrant where you would like to spend more time. If you said you’d like to be on the right side of the Landscape more often—and who wouldn’t?!—why would you like to be there? Is it because it simply feels better to go through your day feeling renewing emotions like happiness, contentment, peace, calm, enthusiasm, or appreciation? That’s a great reason. But what are some other reasons? Write your reasons in your notebook.

Great! You now have mapped out the emotions you’ve experienced recently. But let’s not stop there. There is one more important step! Because it’s so important, we’re going to spend a little time explaining it first. After all, if you found you experienced emotions that put you on the depleting side of the Landscape (and everyone has), let’s see how to shift to the renewing side. That’s you taking charge of you on the spot. That’s maturity.

Using the Techniques to Shift on the Landscape

Recall that we said practicing Heart-Focused Breathing helps turn down the emotional intensity when you get triggered. For example, let’s say someone says something to you that really gets under your skin and makes you feel angry. You’re fuming! Feeling angry puts you in the upper-left quadrant of the Emotional Landscape diagram. You experience a rapid energy burn because anger is such a depleting emotion that can get your heart and brain out of sync, which makes it more difficult to think clearly and respond appropriately to a situation. Later, after you’ve calmed down, you may even feel tired—an indication of how the anger drained your battery.

The good news is that by practicing Heart-Focused Breathing (chapter 1) you can turn down the intensity of your reaction and shift to the lower-left quadrant, which means you’re saving a lot of energy! It also means you’ve put the brakes on how you respond to the situation. You may still feel some anger—only it’s not as intense; it’s a “quieter” anger. But even quieter anger is depleting, so how do you get from the left quadrant to the right—from a depleting to a renewing emotion?

Remember that to be on the right side of the Landscape means you have to feel or experience a renewing emotion. To do that, you can use the Quick Coherence technique (chapter 2) to genuinely experience a renewing emotion. You can learn to get coherent and spend more time on the right side of the Landscape. It’s you taking charge of how you respond and how you feel in any moment.

Heart Rhythms and Your Emotional Landscape

Do you remember our discussion in chapter 2 of coherent and incoherent heart rhythms? When you do the Quick Coherence technique, your heart rhythm pattern changes from an incoherent pattern to a coherent one—from chaotic to smooth and rolling. You shift from the left to the right side of the Landscape. If you were hooked up to a heart rhythm monitor, you would be able to see that your heart rhythms become more coherent as you experience a renewing emotion.

Creating a coherent heart rhythm sends signals to your brain that help bring your smart-thinking brain back online so you can think more clearly even while taking a test, doing homework, or deciding the best way to handle a communication issue with a friend or family member. When your smart-thinking brain is online, you are more focused and can make better decisions. If you think about it, this should be an important skill to develop considering the fact that you make hundreds of decisions every day.

Being able to think clearly, make good decisions, and communicate well is everyday stuff. Clearly, as you spend more time on the right side of the Landscape, you probably will get along better with other people. You also will have a greater ability to be in charge of how you handle situations. It’s better to be in charge of how you respond in a situation than reacting by throwing a fit, saying things you’ll later regret, or making a decision that gets you in trouble.

Here is a key point to remember: Feeling renewing emotions is what puts you on the renewing (right) side of the Landscape. It’s not so much thinking good thoughts or visualizing something pleasant as it is feeling renewing emotions, which creates a coherent heart rhythm pattern and a more optimal internal state so you can be at your best more often. To help you remember this, pull out the Emotional Landscape diagram that you created in the exercise above. Next we’ll give you a couple more things we want you to do with the Landscape.

Exercise: Mapping Your Emotional Landscape—Continued

Part 4: Heart Rhythms

Step 1: Across the middle of the left side of the Landscape from right to left (along the line that separates the upper-left quadrant from the lower-left quadrant), draw a herky-jerky line. (It should look something like the incoherent heart rhythm pattern in the graph in chapter 2.) When you’re hanging out in the left two quadrants, your heart rhythms are incoherent and look chaotic, just like the line you drew.

Step 2: Across the middle of the right side of the Landscape from left to right (along the line that separates the upper-right quadrant from the lower-right quadrant), draw a line that looks like smooth rolling hills and valleys. (It should look like the coherent heart rhythm pattern in the graph in chapter 2.) Your heart rhythm pattern becomes smooth and ordered, coherent, when you’re on the right side.

Now that you are getting the hang of how to use the Landscape, use it often! You might even draw the diagram in the corner of a test you’re taking. It just might remind you—if you start feeling anxious (left side)—to practice Quick Coherence so you can get your smart-thinking brain back online. That’s how practical it can be to use. Using the diagram is also a good way to see if you may be on the depleting side more than you realize, as many people discover.

Now that you have a good feel for how to use the Landscape, let’s use it to illustrate one more very important point.

The Difference Between Relaxation and Coherence

It’s not unusual to hear someone say, “Just chill out” when something unsettling happens. Being able to calm down and chill out is important, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you feel much better. Let’s use the Landscape to show you why.

When you’re in the two lower quadrants of the Landscape, you’re probably fairly relaxed and your heart beats more slowly. Notice, however, that if you are feeling sad, bored, or lonely (the lower-left quadrant), for example, you are still on the depleting side of the Landscape. As we have said before, those depleting emotions can negatively affect you if they are not managed. However, chilling out in the lower-left quadrant can mean that you just aren’t burning as much energy, which is a good thing and a step in the right direction. Ideally, though, you can take another step to be on the right side—the renewing side—of the Landscape.

Being in the lower-left quadrant where you feel quiet depleting emotions is very different from the lower-right quadrant where you feel calm, peaceful, balanced, or content. For one thing, those renewing emotions feel much better than the emotions in the lower-left quadrant. Renewing emotions such as calm or peacefulness create a coherent heart rhythm pattern that helps bring your heart and brain in sync and brings your smart-thinking brain back online. It simply feels better to experience renewing emotions. In the lower-right quadrant, rather than producing stress hormones, you’re producing those that have a renewing and regenerative effect on you.

Now that we’ve looked more closely at how the different emotions you experience every day affect you by using the Emotional Landscape, we’re going to look more closely in the next chapter at something that often goes unnoticed, but which can have a big impact on whether or not you’re feeling stress—your attitudes!

Stress-Bustin’, Resilience-Boostin’, On-the-Go Action Plan

  1. Watch for those situations and events that trigger emotions that drain your inner battery, and be aware of where you are on the Emotional Landscape. Do this on the go throughout the day. Remember, it’s not just the big emotional reactions that drain your battery and get your heart and brain out of sync. Don’t forget the little ones, such as feeling lonely, bored, withdrawn, helpless, or a little bit frustrated. The small emotional reactions can be like a tiny pebble in your shoe. You might not really notice it at first, but the more you walk, the more the pebble rubs uncomfortably on a spot on your foot. Before you know it, you have a good-size blister. So catch the energy drains early by noticing them and then do Heart-Focused Breathing (chapter 1) or Quick Coherence (chapter 2)!
  2. Also identify situations and events where you find yourself feeling renewed and on the right side of the Emotional Landscape. What emotions are you experiencing—peace, appreciation, gratitude, enthusiasm, calm, happiness? Practice experiencing any of the renewing emotions you identify as you do the Quick Coherence technique.
  3. By practicing the Heart-Focused Breathing and the Quick Coherence techniques, you take charge of how you respond and feel in any moment, so practice often! Don’t wait for the big emotional blowouts to use a technique. Continue practicing the techniques several times every day. Practice when you aren’t feeling stressed so using them becomes more automatic. Also practice one of the techniques as soon as you start to feel any stress-producing emotion.
    1. How will you remind yourself to practice a technique throughout the day?
    2. Pay attention to how you feel after you use the technique. You might want to write this down in your notebook.
      1. For the situation that you committed to “taking on” at the end of chapter 1, try using the Quick Coherence technique and practice shifting your emotions to a renewing emotion when dealing with this situation. Use the Emotional Landscape to identify the emotions you experience before and after practicing Quick Coherence.