Have you ever known something about a person or situation without knowing how you knew it? Perhaps you had a gnawing feeling inside that you were forgetting something, and later on at school, you realized you left your homework on your bed. Have you ever had a weird feeling about a classmate, and later that day, you found out he was in some kind of trouble? Have you been in a situation where you started to say something and then you abruptly pulled back and did not say anything? Somehow, you knew the timing was not right. Or if you play sports, you suddenly knew just the right move to get yourself in position to score a goal.
In each case, a sense of knowing seemed to “come to you” out of nowhere. This sense of knowing is called intuition. New research shows that your heart plays a very important role in intuition. Later in this chapter, you will find out how intuition can be an important tool for dealing with stress. You will learn to develop your own intuition to help you make wiser choices about how you handle situations, which can lessen your stress. But first, let’s take a closer look at intuition, your heart, and what we mean by the “intelligence of the heart.”
Intuition doesn’t have to be a mystery. Things are only a mystery until they’re understood. When someone is trying to make a decision or figure out the best way to handle a situation, you’ve probably heard people say, “Follow your heart,” “Listen to what your heart tells you,” or “Your heart knows best.” People instinctively know that their own heart is a source of wisdom and guidance; this is what we refer to as the intelligence of the heart or, simply, heart intelligence.
Too often people refer to the heart only when talking about babies, puppy dogs, greeting cards, and flowers. It’s time to focus on the intelligence of the heart rather than on sentimental feelings and metaphors. Why? Because the heart offers a way to access your intuition, which in turn helps you to find the best way to handle a situation. Not only does the intelligence of your heart guide you along the way, but it also gives you the power and courage to follow through with choices you want to make. Heart intelligence allows you to more clearly see multiple points of view, giving you more options for handling situations and enabling you to make better choices.
“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”—Steve Jobs, cofounder of Apple Inc.
Heart intelligence isn’t only for times when you’re down and out. When you live from your heart more often, you connect with your intuitive guidance more consistently. That helps you surf more smoothly through situations and challenges that come up throughout the day. It also powers up your creativity, giving you an extra boost to discover more of who you really are. When you follow your heart’s intelligence throughout the day, you can be more of the person you truly are rather than feeling weighted down by all the stress you carry.
You may be wondering why so many people don’t use their intuition more often if it’s so natural. People tend to look at their intuition from the perspective of their thinking brain, the head, and not from their heart. That’s why it’s still a bit of a mystery to many people. When people talk about having a “flash of intuition” or a “flash of insight,” they think it’s coming from their head—and sometimes it is. But it’s your heart that helps you access your intuition.
Research conducted on intuition at the HeartMath Institute Research Center, along with research by other scientists around the world, indicates that there are three basic types of intuition. More than likely you’ve experienced each of these without even knowing you have. You might think of intuition as an inner knowing—knowing something without knowing how you know it.
Because intuition is natural, people aren’t really aware of what it is or how it works, and therefore, they tend to take it for granted. Let’s begin by describing each type of intuition.
One type of intuition, implicit knowledge, works by your brain subconsciously comparing what is happening right now with stored memories of things you learned in the past. The term “implicit” refers to the kind of memories that we don’t normally think about. This is similar to things you have learned that are now so familiar that you do them without thinking about it, like walking or riding a bike. Our brains have two different systems for analyzing all the information coming into them and figuring things out. One system is where we have to consciously stop and think about things, such as making a decision or solving a math problem, or when we have to carefully weigh things out. Another way the brain works is that it very quickly and automatically finds matches between previous experiences with what is going on right now, but without having to consciously stop and think about things. You just know what to do. For example, something inside you tells you to avoid someone because in the past you experienced him as having a lot of negativity. In this example, your previous experience laid down a memory track that sprang into action the moment you saw this person. That creates a choice point, which means you can consciously choose to react automatically to the old memory track, or choose to respond with a more appropriate and mature response.
Another aspect of implicit knowledge is where your brain works things out over hours or days. You’ve probably had this happen when all of sudden, for example, you remembered the right answer to a test question that you took earlier in the day. The brain is linking up current things with memories or knowledge learned in the past.
A second type of intuition is called energetic sensitivity. Energetic sensitivity is the ability of the nervous system to detect or sense changes in magnetic fields and other types of energies in our environment. These external fields can have a very real effect on us. If we pay attention and our minds are not too noisy, distracted, or cluttered, we can actually sense these energies, either consciously or unconsciously. Let’s look at a few examples to illustrate how this works. You may have played with two magnets and felt how they can pull or repel each other. This happens because the magnets radiate what is called a magnetic field or force out into the area around them. The feeling of the pulling or repelling is caused by the magnetic field that surrounds the magnets. In other words, although you can’t see the magnetic field, it is real—you can feel the pull. Other examples include cell phones, which use magnetic fields to carry information such as our voice or text messages. Many birds and fish use their ability to detect the earth’s magnetic field to know where they are and to get to where they want to go.
We now know that people are also affected by changes in the earth’s magnetic field, although most people are normally unaware of it. A good example is that when the earth’s magnetic field is disturbed, people may not sleep as well. Disruptions in the earth’s magnetic field can also cause us to have more mental fog or lose our self-control and become angry or frustrated more quickly. Some people can sense an earthquake hours or days before it happens. They can sense it before the ground shakes. What they sense are real changes occurring in the earth’s magnetic field. (As you will learn in chapter 6, our hearts also create magnetic fields that extend well outside of our bodies!) One final example of energetic sensitivity is the sense that someone is staring at you. Have you ever had that happen? All of these are examples of energetic sensitivity—our ability to sense changes happening outside of us because our nervous system “picks up” or detects the naturally occurring changes in magnetic fields.
Another kind of intuition, nonlocal intuition, has to do with having a feeling or knowing about something that can’t be explained by the other two types of intuition. It has to do, for example, with sensing something about someone who is in another room or even far away, such as in another state or country. It can also be sensing something that may happen in the future. Here are some common examples:
Let’s look a little more closely at nonlocal intuition and how it can help us with making better choices and decisions that are more aligned with our deeper self. The HeartMath Institute suggests that nonlocal intuition is the wisdom and guidance from one’s deeper self, which is an important aspect of our wholeness. Another way of saying this is that intuition is information that comes from our spirit, soul, or however one might speak of or refer to a higher source. When someone talks about having an intuitive insight or a flash of intuition, it is often the wisdom that is coming from our higher source.
Accessing our intuition can help us see a situation in a different, more intelligent way. We’re finding that intuition doesn’t have to be random or fleeting. As with any new skill, it does take some practice to access our intuition, but we can learn how to do that as well as how to integrate it into our daily lives.
The scientists at the HeartMath Institute Research Center have learned some fascinating and surprising things about intuition. The HeartMath research clearly shows that the heart plays an important role in intuition, especially nonlocal intuition. Experiments were conducted with people hooked up to different kinds of scientific equipment that measured different aspects of their bodies’ functions, including the electrical activity of their brain, heart, and skin. The research showed that the heart appears to pick up on nonlocal intuitive information before the brain does! Although the research was very sophisticated, it can be explained in a simple overview that we think you’ll find fascinating. You might find it makes a good topic for a science report!
While hooked up to the research equipment, each participant sat in front of a computer and was instructed simply to watch the screen. The computer randomly showed two different kinds of pictures. One set of pictures was known to evoke calm emotions and included things such as a sunset or a smiling baby. The other set of pictures was known to evoke strong unpleasant feelings and included disgusting, scary things like car accidents, snakes, or angry men. The equipment the participants were hooked up to measured changes that happened in their bodies before, during, and after they looked at the different kinds of pictures. The study concluded that the heart actually tended to know which kind of picture would be shown before the computer had even randomly selected a picture and displayed it on the computer screen. The heart, which responded first, then signaled the brain through the nervous system. All of this happened before the picture was seen on the computer screen. The research also showed that when people did the Heart Lock-In technique (chapter 6) to get coherent before starting the experiment, their hearts sent a stronger and clearer message to the brain about the type of picture that was going to be shown in the future.
This research suggests that the heart is connected to a deeper source of information. The information from our deeper source isn’t just about what kind of picture may come up on a computer screen; it’s the wellspring of our heart’s intelligence that can act as a moment-to-moment source of practical inner guidance.
Learning how to access your heart’s intelligence may not be what you expected to find in a book about stress, but if you really stop to consider what we have talked about, you may very well understand that you have relied on your heart’s intuition many times before.
Let’s look at the benefits of your heart’s intelligence in day-to-day life and how to access that intelligence.
When things just don’t seem to be going well and you feel as if you’re clunking through the day, you might want to try accessing your intuition. You’ll likely find that it can help you flow through day-to-day challenges rather than reacting automatically with impatience or anger, making poor decisions, and not knowing how to handle things that come up. In almost any situation, there are many ways you could respond. Your intuition can give you that inner knowing and self-security of how best to handle an issue. As you gain self-confidence in learning to flow through challenges and make better decisions, you may even find that you can laugh at yourself when you do botch something—and that means less stress. Here’s an example:
Have you ever watched an intense game of basketball where Team A sensed they’re losing their cool because Team B is “in sync” and is running away with the game and racking up a lot of points? Team A calls a time-out. Why? Because Team A knows several things:
These same reasons for taking a time-out in the game also apply to your life. That means stepping back from any situation and using your intuition to help you see another way of looking at it.
But what often happens when we get caught up in emotional turmoil and challenging situations is that we drown out our intuition—as Team A did before the time-out. Most of us don’t realize that we have the ability to pause and make a shift to where we feel more balanced and composed. It can be as simple as using the Quick Coherence technique (chapter 2) or Attitude Breathing (chapter 4). You can also use the Freeze Frame technique, which we’ll explain shortly, to take a deeper look at the situation and ask your heart for intuitive guidance and direction; that’s tapping into your heart’s intelligence. Especially for issues that gnaw at you, use your heart’s intelligence to help you find a calmer, more balanced way—without the emotional ups and downs.
The next technique we’re going to share with you is called Freeze Frame. At first as you read the steps, it may sound similar to other stress-reducing techniques you’ve learned, and it is, but the difference is that it uses the power and intelligence of the heart to help you shift your perception of a situation so you can see more possibilities or solutions. That’s putting your intuition to work for you. Practicing Freeze Frame doesn’t mean all your problems will magically go away. There is no quick fix. Practicing Freeze Frame, however, can help you see that there are other ways of looking at any situation. As a result, you will have more strength, flexibility, common sense, and insight to handle challenging situations or anything that arises.
First, let’s see what we mean when we talk about a shift in perception using the following example: We’ve all heard about natural disasters, such as earthquakes or floods, happening. Perhaps you have even been affected by one. As you might imagine, people can have a wide range of reactions to disasters that are unrelated to how many possessions they lost. Let’s say that an area is hit by a devastating earthquake. Afterward, some people move away, determined to never go through such a terrifying experience again. Others seek therapy in hopes of healing the trauma they experienced. However, some who lost their homes and all their belongings adapt quickly and even express appreciation that people in the community came together and worked hard to help each other. They appreciate that they weren’t hurt and still have each other. Even though it is the same situation, an earthquake, people perceive or see it differently.
While natural disasters are dramatic, any unexpected change or challenge can be very stressful and test your capacity to adapt and be flexible. Your ability to bounce back, pick up the pieces, and move on is directly related to your perception of what occurred. Those who recover most quickly and successfully are those who realize that, like it or not, they can’t change what happened. Yes, they may have suffered greatly, but they also know that they have to adapt to the new circumstances and move on with life as quickly as possible.
“When a teacher gives a test that seems really unfair and way too hard and I feel myself getting mad, I use Freeze Frame to stop and check it out. By doing Freeze Frame as I’m about to get mad and all bent out of shape, my heart can tell me whether my perception is really true or just there because I’m angry. It’s like a reality check. This happened recently with a math test. After doing Freeze Frame, I saw that I really hadn’t studied that hard for the test. It was a little hard to see that because part of me wanted to be mad and blame my teacher. Next time, I’ll be better prepared for the test.”
As you learn to access your intuition, you’ll be able to change your perception of a situation. Recall the example in chapter 1 where you ripped your favorite jeans on a locker door and then fumed about it. You could choose to keep fuming or you could practice Freeze Frame, which could help you to see that it’s really not all that big of a deal and also to remember that your best friend’s mother is great at mending clothes. Your heart’s intelligence can help you see there are more options than just fuming. That is your heart at work for you, and it helps you decrease the stress in your life.
People often ask where the name “Freeze Frame” came from. When you watch a movie, what you see is a series of still frames or pictures that are moving rapidly. If you push the pause button, you stop or “freeze” the series of pictures so you can see just one frame—hence the name “Freeze Frame.” So how does this apply to your daily life? Here’s an example:
Maybe you’ve noticed how quickly life’s events can change your moods. You could be walking down the hall at school, feeling angry and upset about the C you got on a science test. Suddenly you run into a good friend who has some great news and all of a sudden you smile, while the moment before, you were feeling low. So it’s how you choose to respond to each moment in the movie of your life that determines how the next frame unfolds, and eventually how the scene ends. When you mentally or emotionally react to life with frustration, anxiety, indecision, uncertainty, or fear, you drain your energy, produce stress hormones, and keep yourself from getting a clear perspective of the situation—you feel stressed! As a result, your next choice may not be the best one, which can lead to undesirable consequences. Freeze Frame helps you stop your emotional reaction to your “movie” (your situation) by freezing the “frame” (what’s happening at the moment) and giving you a time-out to get a clearer perspective on how to respond wisely.
By using the Freeze Frame technique, you slow your automatic internal reactions and quiet your mind “chatter.” By doing so, you are better able to hear the inner promptings of your heart’s intelligence and act accordingly.
Practicing Freeze Frame is easier than you may think—and you can use it every day. It’s a process that many people do naturally. The intelligence of pausing to take a deeper look before making decisions lies within the heart of each person. You can learn to calm and balance your mind and emotions before making choices in day-to-day life. When you act from a point of balance, you experience increased mental and emotional poise. This eliminates stress and connects you with what your real self would do.
So when exactly can you use the Freeze Frame technique? Here are a few examples:
Practicing Freeze Frame is not work; it’s something that works for you. As you see results, it can become fun. But don’t expect miracles or perfection. Skill in using Freeze Frame is developed over time through sincere effort. It’s the lack of sincerity that inhibits efforts from reaching their mark, so be genuine when you do it.
Because the Freeze Frame technique is a bit more involved than some of the other techniques you learned, we’ll present it a little bit differently. As usual, we’ll start out by presenting the technique itself. Read through the steps carefully, but know that you can always come back to this later to refresh your memory of each step. (We also give an abbreviated version called Freeze Frame Quick Steps, which is all you’ll need to remember once you get a good feel for practicing it.) Next, as we have done before, we’ll list some brief tips to help you get the most out of the Freeze Frame technique. Then we’ll give you a worksheet to help you apply the Freeze Frame technique to a situation in your own life.
Technique: Freeze Frame
Step 1: Acknowledge the problem or issue and any attitudes or feelings about it.
Step 2: Focus your attention in the area of the heart. Imagine your breath is flowing in and out of your heart or chest area. Breathe a little slower and deeper than usual.
Step 3: Make a sincere attempt to experience a renewing emotion, such as appreciation or care for someone or something in your life.
Step 4: From this more objective place, ask yourself what would be a more efficient or effective attitude, action, or solution.
Step 5: Quietly observe any subtle changes in perceptions, attitudes, or feelings. Commit to sustaining beneficial attitude shifts and acting on new insights.
Once you understand the steps, you can use these Quick Steps:
Here are a few helpful tips to get the most out of the Freeze Frame technique:
Okay, are you ready to give the Freeze Frame technique a try for an issue in your own life? Good! Get started by making a worksheet like the one below in your notebook, or download the worksheet at http://www.newharbinger.com/31946.
Issue or Situation:
Feelings or Attitudes Before Freeze Frame:
Feelings or Attitudes After Freeze Frame:
Intuition:
Now, before you start the technique itself, take a look at the sample worksheet below. It may give you some ideas about the technique and how to fill out the worksheet as you go through the steps.
Issue or Situation: So much homework!
Feelings or Attitudes Before Freeze Frame: Overwhelmed, anxious
Feelings or Attitudes After Freeze Frame: Calmer, an “I can do” attitude
Intuition: Do one thing at a time. Skip some of my computer games this week. I can catch up on the weekend.
Now it’s time to give Freeze Frame a try. First read each step and the commentary with it. Then go back to the technique section or Quick Steps above and do Freeze Frame beginning with step 1. Take your time with each step. There’s no need to rush. Write your responses on the Freeze Frame worksheet in your notebook or on the downloaded worksheet. Have a genuine attitude of fun and exploration as you give the Freeze Frame technique a try!
Recognizing that you’re feeling stressed and acknowledging your attitudes or feelings about problem or issue gives you the opportunity to do something about it.
Shifting focus to the heart area helps you stop feeding energy into thinking about the issue and also helps stop an automatic response like frustration or anger. Focusing on your heart and breathing a little slower and deeper is also important in helping you get coherent.
Remember that it’s the feeling of the renewing emotion that creates coherence and not just thinking about or visualizing something pleasant.
As you practice this step, keep your focus on the area around your heart as you sincerely ask yourself, What would be a more efficient or effective attitude, action, or solution?
In other words, listen to what your heart’s intuition is in answer to your question. Remind yourself to stay coherent. Don’t go looking for a solution. It’s more like letting your intuition “come to you.” Be sure to write down in your notebook how you feel about the situation after practicing Freeze Frame as well as any intuitive insight that came to you. Even if it seems that you didn’t receive much insight, write down whatever came to you. Intuition often “speaks” quietly.
Sometimes the answers you receive through Freeze Frame can be very simple or might reinforce something you already know. Other times you may experience a “download” of new information and fresh perspectives. At other times, you may not get a clear answer or insight at all. That’s okay. It might pop in later, so be open to that. If you get something that doesn’t quite make sense to you, then do Freeze Frame around what you got to see if you can get more clarity. To get all the benefit you can from practicing Freeze Frame, be sure to make a genuine effort to follow your heart’s intuition.
In the past, you may have been told to count to ten or to think positively and just “chill out” if you got angry about something. Counting to ten may help cool you down for a moment, but it doesn’t necessarily change your perception of the situation or person. For example, if you’re angry about something a friend did and you count to ten to chill out about it, it doesn’t mean you’re not still upset and stewing about it. Chances are, by the count of eleven, you’re reengaged and caught back up in the same emotional turmoil. To change your perception means to change the way you look at the situation. That’s the only way to find effective, lasting solutions. Keep in mind that the amount of stress you feel is based on your perception of a person, situation, or event.
Now that you’ve learned about intuition and how you can access it by using the Freeze Frame technique, you’ll be able to use the insights you get to help you navigate your daily life with a lot less stress. Next, we’re going to talk about how you can learn to relate better with others. It may be a slightly different way of relating with others than you have been taught in the past. We’re also going to share some science that we bet you’ll find interesting—your invisible connection with others.
Your Stress-Bustin’, Resilience-Boostin’, On-the-Go Action Plan