“This is all my fault,” Brina said softly, a stricken expression on her face.
Everyone’s eyes turned to her. She stood solemnly with her smudged chin high. Julia appreciated her friend’s kindness in wanting to take all the blame but she couldn’t let her.
“Nonsense,” Julia said firmly. “It’s mine for even suggesting we should try to cook when neither of us know the first thing about it. I’m the only one responsible for this horrible mess.”
“But you did it for me. You were only trying to help me and I fear I can’t be helped.” Brina looked from Julia to Garrett to the two wide-eyed girls standing in the doorway. She then turned and walked out the door.
Julia glanced at Garrett. He gave her an understanding smile and quirked his head toward the door. “Go. She needs you. I’ll make sure the fire is put out.” Julia’s heart seemed to lift in her chest. She wanted to rush into Garrett’s arms and thank him for his understanding. Instead, she hurried after Brina and caught up with her in the vestibule, picking up her gloves, reticule, and bonnet.
“Brina, wait. There’s no reason for either of us to be upset about what happened. In fact, nothing terrible happened today. We didn’t burn down the kitchen—just the bread. I’m sure many cooks, even the best cooks, burn the bread from time to time. We must look at what we did. Not at what we didn’t do. We made soup.” Julia laughed softly. “Think about that. You and I cooked a pot of soup. Everything’s going to be fine.”
Brina kept her eyes focused on her hands, lying so still on the table where she’d gathered her things. “You don’t understand. It’s not the bread burning or the soup pouring all over the floor. It’s Sister Francine that has upset me. She was right when she said she didn’t think I was up to the task of being a part of Pilwillow Crossings.”
Julia’s heart softened even more for her friend and she laid her hand on top of Brina’s. “I won’t hear that from you. You can’t know what you are capable of accomplishing on just one try. Be as reasonable and kind to yourself as you are to others. We didn’t know what to do. We’ll try again, and next time—”
“No,” Brina said earnestly. She looked up at Julia with eyes as bright as a summer day. “The really horrible truth about myself is that I didn’t enjoy making the bread. How can I help others when I feel that way?”
“I’m sure it’s a natural reaction for anyone the first time,” Julia insisted. “I didn’t enjoy it either. We’ve never been allowed in a kitchen to know what to do or how to do it. You can’t revile yourself for how you feel, what family you were born into, or how you grew up.”
“But how can I serve others, feeling as I do? The fact is I am the useless and pampered lady Sister Francine took one look at and saw.”
“You are not useless. Don’t say that about yourself. And I didn’t suggest we try to cook just to show you that you couldn’t do it. I actually thought we could do it. I had no idea it would be so difficult.”
“I know. It showed me there’s a difference between just standing in a line and handing food to people with a smile or a soft word—which is the only part I’d seen—and how much work there is to do before you can give people that comfort and kindness. I honestly don’t know if I’m up to it. I thought I was until you helped me try it.”
“Brina, I’m not going to try to talk you into anything or out of anything. That is your decision. I do think it would have been so much easier for us if we’d been learning with someone who actually had a recipe and knew how much flour, yeast, and milk to use. Or maybe if I hadn’t suggested port instead of tea. Perhaps we wouldn’t have let the bread burn if we hadn’t started talking about Garrett and my feelings for him.”
“That is the only sane thing we did.”
“But you can’t make your decision on this one attempt. You are a strong, capable person, whether or not you can make flour into bread, and you have many accomplishments. Most anyone can become discouraged when they are first trying to handle a situation they aren’t accustomed to. I know that feeling very well.”
Julia picked up the hem of her apron and affectionately started wiping Brina’s cheek. “My dear friend, you cannot go home with flour all over your face and with that apron covering your dress. Your bonnet will cover your hair until you get to your dressing room.”
Brina looked down. “Oh, you’re right. I forgot I had it on.” While she untied her apron, Julia helped brush her sleeves.
As soon as she laid the apron on the table, she picked it up again and said, “What am I thinking? I have to help you clean the table and floor.”
“No, no.” Julia grabbed the apron from her grasp. “There are two girls in the kitchen who probably know more about cleaning than we ever will. I’m going to put them to work.”
“That doesn’t seem fair. I helped make the mess. It’s only right that I do my part to clean it.”
“If you stay, there will be so many of us in the kitchen we will be running over one another. Please go and think on this decision you must make.”
A resigned sigh passed Brina’s lips. She then lifted her chin and shoulders. “What about Mr. Stockton?”
“I’ll put him to work, too,” Julia said with a smile. “The soup is so heavy we could have never carried it to school. I’ll ask him to do that for us. I’ll ask the girls to crumble the burned bread in the garden for the birds. Everything will be washed and put away in no time. The kitchen will be as Mrs. Lawton left it—minus a few vegetables.”
“Julia,” Brina said softly. “Just as I have some vital decisions to make, so do you.”
Her friend’s words seemed to seep into Julia’s soul. She knew. Julia picked up Brina’s gloves and reticule and gave them to her. “Go home. We’ll talk about all of this again soon.”
After seeing Brina out the door, Julia turned and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. She tried to rub the soot off her face and the flour from her hair. But no amount of primping was going to make her look any better. She dropped her hands to her sides. There were more important things to do than make herself look better.
Julia walked through the doorway of the kitchen and stopped. Everything was clean. She glanced all around the room. Garrett was rising from the area where the soup had spilled over beneath the cook rack, a cloth in his hand. “What are you doing? How did you get everything clean so fast?”
“The girls helped by wiping the table. I just sent them back to the school with the uncooked vegetables.”
“Thank you. I didn’t intend for you to help clean.”
Garrett smiled. “Why not? One of the first things I had to learn when I went to sea was how to scrub the deck. If you’re going to sail a ship you have to know how to do every chore. I’ve already banked the fire and taken the bread out of the pans. They’re soaking in the tub.”
“I’m glad you saved something for me to do.”
He nodded as his eyes stared intently into hers. “I’m going to take the soup to the school and then I’ll be back.”
His roguish smile and the way he said I’ll be back caused Julia’s heart to flutter.
Garrett picked up the kettle and headed out the door. He seemed to always be coming to her rescue. But she knew he didn’t mind. He was such a strong but patient man. She thought of all the young and beautiful young ladies who had been at Lady Hallbury’s party. Garrett could be riding around Hyde Park with any of them today. But he was here, helping her clean up the kitchen. A peacefulness settled inside her.
After she’d scrubbed the pans and had put them back in place, everything was tidy—except herself, of course. She poured fresh water into a basin and splashed it onto her face, letting the coolness trickle down to her neck and chest. She thought about what her life would be like if she were fully free to be her own master and not at the mercy of what the men in her life wanted her to do. She wanted to know what it would be like to have no fear her son might be ripped from her arms for the slightest infraction. What would she do first if she were truly free?
Her thoughts went immediately to Garrett. She’d invite him over to have dinner with her. Just the two of them sitting at a table, dining, sipping wine, and talking. She saw them sitting together on a rug in front of a fire, playing in tall grass with Chatwyn, and lying entwined together on crisp, cool sheets.
“Julia.”
At the sound of Garrett’s voice, she straightened and turned away from the basin with water dripping down her face and hands. “I didn’t hear you come back inside.”
Garrett walked closer to her and asked, “Where is the housekeeper?”
“I sent her away for the day so Brina and I could have the house to ourselves. We wanted to know if we could do something as simple as bake bread and, well, you can see how that turned out. How did you know I was here?” She looked around for a towel but didn’t see one. She started wiping the water from her face with her hands.
“I saw Miss Periwinkle and Chatwyn in the park. She wouldn’t tell me where you were but when I asked Chatwyn he spoke right up and told me you were at the school.”
“Of course, he wouldn’t know not to tell. You were very clever to ask him. And I had to let Miss Periwinkle know in case Mr. Pratt arrived after I left. I told her to come tell me immediately. I don’t know why but he hasn’t come over for several days now.”
“You won’t have to worry about Mr. Pratt for a while.”
“Oh, but I do,” she answered. “The duke said he wouldn’t make a decision on dismissing him until after he assessed him.”
“I know,” Garrett said softly, stepping even closer to her. “So I took the decision out of the duke’s hands.”
“What?” she gasped as hope and fear rose in her chest. “What did you do?”
“Nothing harmful, I assure you. I simply had him put on a ship that was sailing to America.”
“You had him abducted?” Julia’s body tensed.
“I didn’t think he’d go willingly, but believe me, he wasn’t hurt in any way. When the man arrives in New York Harbor he’ll be told he was mistaken for someone else. He’ll be given a generous amount of money to compensate him for the error that was made and put on a ship back to Southampton. From there he can hire a coach back to London. When a person is on a long journey and dependent upon the wind and the sails, he tends to learn a lot about patience and forbearance. I thought that might be a good lesson for the tutor.”
For a moment or two, Julia’s emotions warred inside her. Garrett had taken a man against his will and sent him to another country. But then she thought of Mr. Pratt’s bulging eyes as he stared at Chatwyn with seething anger and from clenched teeth ordering him to stop clinging to his mother and sit still in the chair like a man.
“Thank you,” she whispered to Garrett. “You did well.”
Garrett smiled and moved even closer to her. “I did it for Chatwyn. I agree with you, Julia. He’s too young and active to be under the direction of a man like Pratt. Remember, I met the man. He may not have laid a hand on Chatwyn, but it was only because you were there. In time he would have. I’d do what I did again to keep Chatwyn away from him.”
Julia suddenly felt calmer. “Yes. Sometimes it’s necessary to do the wrong thing for the right reasons. That’s one worry I can put out of my mind. Now tell me, do you have good news from Mr. Urswick?”
“Not yet, but I’m still hopeful. But Mr. Ashfield has almost finished with the documents. They should be ready soon.”
“That’s good.” She wiped more trickling water from her forehead down the side of her face. “Even if we don’t have the ledger, I can present the duke with the copies and tell him I have the originals and the ledger. That should be enough to make him give me my freedom.”
Garrett placed the palm of his warm hand to her wet cheek. His touch caused a shivery tingle to shudder through her. “Let me do this for you.” He smoothed his hand all the way down her neck to her collar. His touch was purposeful, yet soothing.
For the first time since the fiasco happened, Julia trembled. She was so glad he’d come over and just at the right time. It was if he’d somehow sensed she needed his strength. She closed her eyes and gave in to the restful reassurance that he was there for her. With gentleness, he dried her forehead with the pads of his fingers. He pushed her fallen damp hair away from her face and behind her ears. He then lowered his face to hers and kissed the corners of her mouth, below her eyes, and the tip of her chin before lifting his head and looking into her eyes. He was teasing her, making her want to feel his lips on hers.
Julia couldn’t remember a time of being so completely comforted. “You didn’t tell me why you wanted to see me today.”
He placed the tips of his fingers under her chin and lifted it ever so slightly while his thumb caressed her bottom lip. “Surely you know by now that I don’t need a reason to want to see you. I simply want to see you.”
His words thrilled her. Her stomach quivered deliciously and a teasing warmth tightened her breasts.
“However,” he added, while lightly threading his fingers through the side of her hair, and making a few strands fall from her chignon. His hand then slipped around her still damp neck and gently pulled her closer to him. “I did have another reason for coming today.”
A small puff of breath escaped past her lips as she whispered, “I knew it.”
Garrett slid his arms around her waist and caught her up against his chest. “I have the money from the sale of the fabrics for you.”
“Yes, that is what I wanted,” she said, knowing her words could be referring to his embrace or the sale. She knew they were for both. “That’s good news. Did you get a good price for the sisters?”
He kissed down her cheek again and over her jawline to nestle his nose in the warmth behind her ear. His strong hands massaged up and down her back. Curls of pleasure moved inside her. “I think they’ll be very pleased.”
“Brina and I will plan to take it over one day next week. If she—” Julia trailed off her sentence. She realized she had no idea what Brina’s feelings were right now concerning Pilwillow Crossings or what they would be next week.
Garrett seemed to sense the change in mood. He lifted his head again, and asked, “If she what?”
“Nothing.” Julia shook her head and looked straight into his eyes. “It’s a private matter for her that I can’t share. But if you don’t mind, I do have another favor to ask of you.”
“You can ask anything of me, Julia. Being with you makes my life interesting. You are an adventure for me. I never know what you are going to do or say, but I’m ready for whatever you want.”
His words pleased her more than he would ever know. “I would like for you to take the money and give it to Brina for me.”
Garrett’s hands stilled on the back of her shoulders. “Julia, I have no interest in Mrs. Feld.”
She smiled and wove her hands around his neck. “I know that. She knows it, too.”
He eyed her warily. “You have to admit it’s a rather unusual request when she’s your best friend and I have the money in my coat pocket ready to hand to you right now.”
“I know.” Julia sighed. “I have a very specific reason for asking you to do this. She has a difficult decision to make. It may make no difference at all in her determination, but it might help her to further reason out what it is she needs to do. It would mean a great deal to me if you could see your way to do this and not ask further questions.”
“I’ll see it’s done.”
His answer made her heart full. “Thank you.”
“Do you feel better now?” he asked huskily.
“Yes,” she whispered. “It seems you have now rescued me twice—from a tree and from a smoking oven. Now if only—”
Garrett’s lips came down on hers, cutting off her sentence. The contact was delicate and feathery. Shivers of anticipation swirled through her.
Julia closed her eyes and reveled in his slow, languid kiss.