Chapter 19

Garrett walked in the drizzling rain with only his heavy cloak and hat to protect him. He’d spent more days and nights than he could count on the deck of his ship with rain slashing so hard it felt as if it might cut into him. Being wet and cold didn’t bother him. During his first long voyage, he’d discovered he could live on very little food and fresh water and live with few possessions. An early autumn rain wasn’t likely to bother him.

Wiley had sent around a note asking Garrett to meet him at the house on Poppinbrook Street at four. As luck would have it, that house was only a street over from where Mrs. Feld lived. He decided to stop by to see her on his way to meet Wiley. Somehow his friend had found a man who had a key. He and Wiley were going to have a look inside.

It was still important to Garrett to take possession of the house, tear it down, and build another, but helping Julia and what she wanted had become more important. He had faith in Mr. Urswick’s abilities to eventually break the code. Fate had a strange way of dealing with people sometimes. He’d taken his father’s ship to sea to build a company so he could buy anything he wanted. But now, the only thing he wanted was to live with Julia and her son.

A carriage passed him at a fast pace, but Garrett hardly gave notice to the wheels spraying his boots and cloak with water that had puddled on the sides of the roads. He was thinking about Julia and nothing else mattered when she was on his mind. He’d awakened this morning wanting her by his side, wanting to snuggle her warm body next to his, kiss her lips, the hollow of her throat, crook of her neck, and curve of her shoulder. The few hours they’d had together yesterday weren’t nearly enough to keep him from wanting her.

He could understand her reasoning for not wanting to marry again, but that didn’t mean he agreed with her or that he liked it. All she said was true. Men had complete control over their wives, their children and their possessions. Someway, he had to make Julia see he wouldn’t be that way. It obviously was going to take time. He would protect her and Chatwyn, but he would allow her the freedoms she sought whether or not Urswick deciphered the code and Julia could condemn the duke for the explosion.

Just thinking of her lying in bed with him took the chill off the rain and made him warm. She was receptive and passionate to his lovemaking. He was certain she loved him. Only him and that she wanted to be with only him. But she wasn’t ready to marry. He had to give her time to come to that realization.

Garrett had accomplished what he set out to do when he left the life of a gentleman. He’d never have to rely on an allowance from a relative, and neither would his sons, nor their sons. But now he’d found that he couldn’t live without Julia.

He hadn’t come back to London wanting to renew his life as a gentleman but now, because of Julia, he did. He hadn’t expected his first day back in Town, he’d meet someone and then not want to look at another woman, but that’s what happened. With her he wanted a home, not a house; a wife, not a mistress; an old dog, not a young one. And he wanted Chatwyn. He liked the rambunctious little boy.

Suddenly a thought occurred to Garrett that tightened his chest. Did Julia fear he would go on another journey, sail away, and leave her a sea widow? Was that part of the reason she didn’t want to marry? The whispers of the wind had called to him when he was a younger man but he knew he could never leave her, even if they called to him again.

One thing he was certain of: it wasn’t another man in her life that was making Julia reluctant to talk about marriage. She’d held back nothing when she was in his arms and he knew she wanted no other.

Another carriage approached and, this time, slowed. The driver offered a ride, but Garrett waved to him and walked up to the entrance of Mrs. Field’s house and hit the iron plate with the knocker. While he waited for the answer, he removed his hat and knocked off the excess rain before resettling it on his head. He swung his cloak from his shoulder and shook it before folding it over his arm so that it would be ready to hand to the maid.

“May I help you?” the robust housekeeper said upon opening the door.

“I’d like to see Mrs. Brina Feld.”

“Who might I say is calling, sir?”

“Mr. Garrett Stockton.”

“Just a minute.” The door closed behind her.

Garrett’s thoughts went back to Julia.

Something was going on between Julia and Mrs. Feld. It didn’t bother Garrett that he didn’t know what it was. Friends had secrets they kept from others. But Garrett would like to know why they had been in the kitchen in such a state. Why had Brina rushed out almost in tears, and why did Julia want him to bring the money to her?

He liked Mrs. Feld. She was stunningly beautifully. There was a fragile look about her that would make any man want to protect her—but that was as far as his feelings for her went. He had desire for only one woman. He used to think the best times in his life were seeing new things or doing something he’d never done before. Now, he knew the best time in his life was being with someone he loved.

The door swung open again, and Garrett saw a different woman, but he knew immediately who she was, Mrs. Feld’s mother. He’d seen her at various parties and balls over the years. She was almost as beautiful as her daughter. Just an older beauty. They had probably been introduced at one time, but he couldn’t say he knew her. Judging by the air of haughtiness in her expression, she wasn’t likely to give him the opportunity to do so. He was all right with that.

“Sir,” she said, “my daughter isn’t accepting callers today.”

She must have thought he was there to pay a courting call on Mrs. Feld. Her tone was dismissive. It wouldn’t have mattered to Garrett, except that Julia wanted him to do this.

“I’m here to deliver a message from Lady Kitson Fairbright.”

“Mr. Stockton,” Mrs. Feld said as she came up beside her mother. “What a surprise to see you. Please come in out of the rain.”

Garrett walked into the house, handing his cloak and hat to the housekeeper. “Thank you for seeing me, Mrs. Feld.”

“I’m glad I looked out the window to see who was at the door,” Mrs. Feld answered. “I told Mama I didn’t want to see anyone today, but I am delighted to talk to you. I know that you and Mama have met before, so there’s no need for introductions.”

He nodded to the lady and said, “Yes, a few years ago.”

“Please join me in the drawing room, Mr. Stockton.”

“After you, ladies,” he offered.

Mrs. Feld’s mother started down the corridor, but her daughter quickly said, “I will see him alone, Mama, but thank you for offering to visit with him as well.”

The lady seemed to turn into a statue in front of Garrett’s eyes. “But, dear, I think I should—very well, I’ll leave you to your privacy. I’ll be in the music room if you need me.”

Mrs. Feld ushered him into the drawing room. “Come stand with me by the fire. You’re probably feeling a bit chilled from the rain.”

“I’m comfortable, Mrs. Feld. We can sit, if you prefer.”

She gave him a soft, sweet smile. “You appear to me as the kind of man who is comfortable in whatever situation he may find himself, Mr. Stockton. I can appreciate that. The closer we are by the fire, the less chance of Mama hearing our conversation. She means no harm by it, but she does like to eavesdrop on me from time to time. One would think I’d never been married as far as she and Papa are concerned. In this house, I’m still treated as their little girl.”

“I’m sure they have your best interests at heart.”

“They do. I appreciate it and haven’t minded their attentions these past few years. Not overly much, anyway. I don’t know if you remember, but I was married for only a very short time.”

Garrett nodded.

“I heard you say you have a message for me from Julia.”

“It’s more than just a message.” He looked at the doorway and didn’t sense anyone lurking. “I suppose there’s no delicate way to give you this.” He pulled a heavy coin purse out of his coat pocket and extended it to her. “It’s the money from the sale of the fabrics. For the sisters.”

Her countenance didn’t change nor did she reach for the velvet bag. “You’re confusing me, Mr. Stockton. Why would Julia want you to bring it to me and not give it to her?”

“You will have to ask her to answer that. I tried giving it to her. That’s why I went over to the house by the school when you were—” He watched her brows knit toward each other and her smile tightened. That day in the kitchen was obviously not something she wanted to talk about. “She asked that I bring this to you and I agreed. She didn’t give me reasons as to why. Only that it was a private matter between the two of you. I am only doing what she asked of me.”

That answer seemed to please her. Her forehead relaxed and her features softened. “She wouldn’t have told you even if you had pressured her.”

“I would never do that.” He extended the purse closer to her. “I want only to please her, Mrs. Feld. I hope you’ll take this so I don’t have to let Julia know that I failed my mission.”

“Yes, of course, I’ll take it.” She walked over and wrapped it in a shawl that was lying on the settee. “Don’t let Julia’s secrecy about this bother you, Mr. Stockton. I’ve found that there are some things I must hide from Mama. This is one of them.”

He nodded his understanding.

Mrs. Feld joined him in front of the fire again. “I’m glad you came over so I could thank you for helping us in the kitchen. I was distraught about what happened. Things didn’t go as I’d hoped.”

“Everything in the house was taken care of before I left. You have no cause to fret about anything.”

“Thank you for that. I’m glad you were there to help Julia. I don’t know what we would have done had you not arrived. We didn’t even know to use the paddle to take the bread out of the oven. I suppose it’s really quite sad. We’re taught how to manage staff in the kitchen, plan menus for dinners and dinner parties, but not how to actually prepare the food. There are just some things Society feels that ladies of quality shouldn’t know how to do, and cooking is one of them.”

“I’m really not one to speak about the rules of Society, Mrs. Feld. I doubt many gentlemen have broken as many as I have.”

She laughed. “I think I should learn how to break more of them myself. I liked you the minute I met you, Mr. Stockton. I can see why Julia has been so taken with you.”

Garrett smiled but felt it was best not to say anything. He had no idea how much Julia had told her friend.

“What Julia didn’t tell you about me is that I have been considering joining the Sisters of Pilwillow Crossings. Julia was helping me learn how to cook so I could tell Sister Francine that I knew how to do something other than play the pianoforte and do a fine stitch of embroidery—neither of which would be useful at the abbey.”

Garrett had sensed a sadness in Mrs. Feld when he first met her at Julia’s house. Now he realized it was more than sadness. There was also a controlled restlessness in her, too. He hadn’t noticed it the other times he’d been around her because his focus was always on Julia. Now that he was looking at her more closely, he could see it. Like Julia, Mrs. Feld also wanted to break free of something. He wondered what it was. Her mourning perhaps?

“No, she didn’t tell me about that.”

“I’ve sworn her to secrecy, as I must now hope you will stay silent, too. My parents would never understand my thoughts and I would rather not burden them since I have no clear answer yet.”

“You have no cause to worry about me talking with anyone about your private matters.”

She nodded. “I was sure of that and realized I didn’t want you and Julia to have any secrets between you. Not any of my making, anyway.”

“Tell me, Mrs. Feld, do you think joining the sisters will settle your disquiet and give you the peace you are searching for?”

“I thought that at one time. Now I’m not so sure. I don’t know where I’m suited anymore, Mr. Stockton. I do want to help people in need, but Julia helped me realize I am woefully ill-equipped to be of much service to the women who are at Pilwillow Crossings.”

“There are many ways to help the downtrodden without making it a lifetime commitment.”

She seemed to think on what he said before looking at her shawl and nodding. “Do you mind if I ask you a personal question, Mr. Stockton?”

Garrett had no idea what she might ask, but he said, “Go ahead.”

“Did you find what you were looking for during your many travels?”

“I found the fortune I was seeking, Mrs. Feld, and in doing so discovered it didn’t bring contentment, only the brevity of happiness. After traveling around the world, I’ve now found that what I really wanted was right here in London after all.”

“Perhaps you had to visit all the other places to realize that. Thank you for telling me.”

“Life is not without its challenges no matter where you are. It’s all in how you handle them.”

“I think I’m coming to that conclusion myself. I hope you don’t mind, but Julia told me of your interest in each other. You disturb her greatly. In a good way. Not that she needed it, but I told her I approve.”

“I’m glad she confided in you. No one means more to me than Julia.”

“You’re going to be able to help her with the duke, aren’t you?”

“Yes,” he said confidently. He didn’t intend to fail. One way or another, he would free her from the duke’s control.

“Thank you for bringing the donation and for your help last Saturday and today. I hope to see you again soon.”

Garrett nodded.

The drizzle had become a heavy mist as he left Mrs. Feld’s house. He made the short walk over to Poppinbrook Street and slowed his steps as the white house came into view. Though it was in the most expensive area of Mayfair, it was a simple home. No fancy arched entrance or iron gates. Just a flat front house with three steps up to a plain door. In his mind’s eye he envisioned the kind of house he’d dreamed of building there. Big, impressive, and expensive. He took a few more steps and stopped.

A chuckle rumbled in his chest. He didn’t care whether he tore down the house or left it standing. He didn’t care if he built a new house or lived in an old one as long as Julia and Chatwyn lived in it with him. Being with them was what mattered to him now.

Wiley stood under the short overhang and waved to him. It pleased Garrett that Wiley had taken an interest in helping him with the house.

“Why does it seem as if I’m always waiting on you?” Wiley asked good-naturedly as he shook Garrett’s hand.

“Because you usually are.” Time wasn’t something you paid a lot of attention to when you were on a ship.

“I didn’t mind today. Miss Osborne has returned. I visited with her yesterday afternoon.”

Garrett smiled. “That is good news.”

“We hope to take a stroll in the park within the next day or two. I’ll let you know so you can join us.”

“You know I will, but only for a short time. I don’t want to intrude on all your time with her.”

Wiley nodded. “I’ve already unlocked the house and had a look around.”

“Who did you get the key from? I assume if you’d found Moorshavan, you would have told me.”

“I still haven’t heard a peep about where that man might be. I got the key from your cousin, the earl who sold him the house. It dawned on me that he might have one he hadn’t given to Moorshavan so I rode over and asked him about it. He looked around and found it.” Wiley held up the large key.

Garrett clapped Wiley on the shoulder. “I’m glad you thought to ask him about it.”

They entered the vestibule and Garrett looked around. He didn’t recognize it as the front room he’d entered during the first twenty years of his life. It was much more expensively decorated. A large, gold-framed mirror hung on one wall, and a long, colorful tapestry on the other. Heavy velvet draperies covered the windows. Gone was the small, aged painting of Hyde Park and the Serpentine. The small table where he would lay his hat each afternoon had been replaced by a long side table with intricately carved wood. Fancy brass candlesticks had been placed on each end.

Garrett huffed out a low laugh. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say we were in the wrong house.”

“It doesn’t look much like the house I remember coming to either,” Wiley admitted.

They walked down the corridor, and Garrett stood at the entrance to the drawing room and looked inside. The shape of the room was the same. The fireplace and windows were all in the same places, but like the vestibule, nothing in the room was the same. Not the furniture or rugs, not the color of the walls, or the things hanging on them. The worn settee, the large comfortable chairs, and simple straight-leg tables had been replaced with gilt-covered wood and fine silk fabrics.

“If we can find Mr. Moorshavan and talk him into selling, and you decide not to tear down a perfectly good house, you will probably want to have the draperies, paintings, and a few other things in the bedchambers changed. The bedcovers and pillows are made from fabrics that have nude scenes on them. Some of the paintings on the walls are quite explicit. There’s artwork sitting around, statues and figurines that, well—there’s no doubt he was running a brothel in this house. Did you want to go abovestairs?”

Garrett shook his head. “I’ll take your word for what it looks like.” He wasn’t a man who let things seep into his soul. He just handled things—as he had with Pratt.

It wasn’t things that made a person happy or successful. It was contentment with what you had. His father never wanted the house. He was content with being his cousin’s guest. Garrett looked over at Wiley and remembered how he smiled when he talked about Miss Osborne. He was content to have her back in London, looking forward to their nuptials. That’s what made people happy. Not what you had but what you felt.

“What are you going to do if you don’t find Mr. Moorshavan?”

“I’ll find him,” Garrett answered. “Let’s get out of here.”