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My bones rattled when Arie slammed the door. He hadn’t even bothered to acknowledge me. For a second it seemed like he was just as confused to see me standing there as he was to see Toren, who he’d immediately scowled at.
“What are you doing here?” Arie asked.
I looked from Arie to Toren and then back again. Instinctively I moved so that the sofa was in front of me, because I had a feeling that this wouldn’t end well. Two incredibly sexy vampires were about to rumble. I had to admit it was kind of hot.
Toren sneered. “You didn’t think that I wouldn’t come to confirm it for myself. Not when I heard that Katarina was dead.”
Again Arie glanced in my direction, and there it was—that baffled expression. He blinked, then regarded Toren. “We made a deal.”
“What deal?” I asked.
Arie ignored me and continued to scowl at Toren. In fact, I thought he might throw Toren right through the glass wall and over the balcony to plummet into the Chicago River.
“Oh, my little brother thinks the same city isn’t big enough for both of us. We agreed that we’d never deliberately invade each other’s space, and if we happened to cross paths by accident...” Torren shrugged. “The one who was there first has the right to stay,” Toren said with a pause to emphasize his point. “Right, brother?”
“Do you have any other family?”
His face had darkened. “Not anymore.”
Arie’s lie hit me like a punch in the face. Now I was pissed. Really pissed.
“He’s your brother?” I asked, gesturing toward Toren.
Honestly, I didn’t know whether I was more shocked that Arie had a brother or that he’d lied straight to my face. Trust had never come easy for me—Arie had known that and still he’d lied to me. My eyes burned with tears that I refused to shed. I wasn’t going to cry or let him see how badly his lie hurt me. I’d sooner unleash the anger that simmered in my stomach like a pot about to boil over, than spill a bloody teardrop over the betrayal that had just torn me apart.
Cripes, we’d talked about my trust issues, and from the very beginning he’d known that growing up the way that I had, in the system, meant that I had a hard time letting anyone in. Honesty was everything; or at least it had been until now. I couldn’t believe he’d actually stormed off to take a shower when I didn’t want to tell him about the cryptic love letters that Toren had left me when he’d thought that I was his dead lover.
Excuse the fuck out of me.
I’d wanted to spare Arie jealousy over someone who didn’t mean anything. And he would’ve been jealous if he’d read the letter Toren wrote. Those comments about what I looked like without any clothes on would’ve made him want to tear Toren limb from limb. I didn’t know that we’d have such an intimate audience for our little exhibition at the club. Neither of us imagined Toren would be sitting at the bar. Damn it! Heat crept to my face.
But neither of them seemed to notice the tell-tale signs of my discomfort.
“He’s the bastard who broke our agreement,” Arie said. Hostility made his gray eyes icier than ever. And was it me or did he sound a little bit drunk just then? I couldn’t explain why, but a shiver ran down my spine. Arie seemed really off.
Toren laughed. “That’s true enough. I am a bastard.”
“Well, now that you’ve confirmed Katarina is perfectly fine, you can get the hell out of here.” Arie nodded toward me and waved his arm toward the door.
My jaw dropped.
“Oh, please. Don’t play games. Holly told me everything. Katarina’s dead. This one killed her.” Toren pointed at me.
Arie looked at me as if he were seeing me for the first time. Then the cloud of confusion slowly lifted as recognition shone in his eyes. When it did, he staggered and leaned against the wall near the massive bookcase.
-Arie?-
Something was wrong. Really wrong. No way was he trying to play games with Toren. His eyes were glassy. He hadn’t known me, and that was a much bigger punch to the gut than his dishonesty. I ran to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, tangling my fingers in the dark curls that hugged the collar of his leather jacket.
“Are you okay?” I whispered against his ear.
His arms came around my waist and then his hands moved up my back. “Ah, Holly. I’m sorry, love.”
When I looked into his eyes I saw recognition. After having to pretend to be my mother the day I’d met my grandmother, I didn’t think I could deal with anyone else I loved suffering from memory loss. My world was filled with love, friendship, and family because Arie had brought me into his world. The thought of it all disappearing when he looked at me just then had been scarier than all the demons and tragedy we’d faced. Relief washed over me.
Toren coughed. And then I noticed a leather jacket, which must have been his, flung over one of the stools at the breakfast bar that combined the living room with the kitchen, and remembered my grandmother’s odd moment of clarity.
“I can’t believe it,” she whispered.
An eerie stillness filled the room.
“What?” I asked.
“I've been waiting for you to find me before the disease takes me.”
The hair on the back of my neck stood on end. “Who do think I am?”
“I’d know you anywhere. You look just like my daughter. You’re my granddaughter. The one they made me give up.”
“Yes, I’m Holly.”
“I like that name. I don’t know how long I’ll be like this, but I need to tell you two things.”
“What do you need to tell me?”
“You’re a vampire.” She nodded. “That’s good, because the strength will help you, and so will he.”
“Who?”
“The man in the leather jacket. He needs you more than you know, and you’re going to need him. You’ll feel betrayed, but you’re going to have to trust him. Something bad is going to happen. Bright city lights. It will be bad and you’re going to need him.”
Arie had always worn a leather jacket, but apparently Toren did too. I couldn’t think about that when all I wanted was to get Toren out of the loft so I could help Arie — make sure that he was going to be okay. I’d deal with figuring out my grandmother’s premonition later.
I twisted in Arie’s arms. “Toren, you should probably go. I’ve got this.”
I’d tried to sound firm, but I could barely look at him after our encounter upstairs.
“I’m not stupid and I’m not leaving. Not when there’s something going on with my brother.” Toren’s jaw was set. Crap, he really meant it, and that would mean dealing with him whether I was comfortable with it or not.
“You’re not my brother,” Arie growled.
“Grew up together, didn’t we? Raised as brothers under the same damn roof, weren’t we? The way I see it, that makes us brothers whether you like it or not...brother.”
Shit.
“Your mother was a whore,” Arie slurred.
“Arie!” I yelled.
Arie took a step toward Toren, or tried to, but he was unsteady on his feet. It was definitely not like Arie to refer to any woman in such a derogatory way. Something was very wrong indeed, and I didn’t like the uneasy feeling that settled over me.
“I think we should all sit down,” I said as I took Arie’s arm and guided him to the leather sofa. “And you should apologize to Toren for what you said about his mother.”
My eyes widened when he didn’t fight me on moving to the sofa. Now I was officially worried. No one ever told Arie what to do. He sat on the sofa, but made no move to apologize. He glared at Toren across the coffee table when he took a seat in the matching chair. There’s the Arie that I know and love. ‘Stubborn’ would be the understatement of the year, but I was grateful to see the challenge in his eyes as he regarded Toren.
Toren shrugged. “No need to apologize. My mother was a prostitute, after all. I can’t really blame him for feeling the need to remind me.”
I gasped. “But how do you know that Arie is your brother?”
“There’s no proof,” Arie said, waving his arms in exasperation.
Toren shoved his hands through his hair and then gripped the leather chair, his frustration evident. It didn’t escape me that they were very similar, both in their dress and in their domineering mannerisms, but as I looked from one to the other I noted how different they were, too. It also didn’t escape me that even though Toren said there was no need to apologize, Arie’s remarks had clearly cut deep. Hearing the truth spoken so brutally had to have stung. But I needed to know everything, so I tried to find a way to put it as delicately as I could.
I coughed. “Given your mother’s...uh, occupation, then, what makes you so sure that you’re brothers?”
Toren sighed. “Five years before my brother was born, my mother died.” He paused and looked away.
“I’m sorry,” I said, my voice dropping.
“I was only a year old at the time. She had been a prostitute but she gave it up when I was born. She claimed that she knew for sure that he’d been the one to knock her up, and he believed her.” Toren shook his head as he continued. “But given her career choice, Arie’s not lying when he says there’s no way to be sure we shared the same father and that we’re really brothers.”
Arie was looking through the glass wall that opened onto the balcony and gazing toward the river but then he’d looked up, scowling at Toren. “Half-brothers if anything at all.”
I crossed my arms and looked at Arie. “Stop it!”
The conviction in his voice broke my heart. He made it abundantly clear that Toren meant nothing to him. I didn’t know what had come between them, but it made me sad, regardless of my general dislike of Toren and my annoyance with him. But I couldn’t help wondering whether I was really annoyed at him, or if I was ticked off that I’d responded to his kiss? I drew in a breath with a thin hiss. Toren just looked at me like he knew exactly what I’d been thinking at that moment, so I changed the subject.
“But he kept you anyway?” I asked. “He took care of you both.”
Toren nodded. “Got married just so he’d have someone to help take care of me, knocked her up too, and Arie came nine months later. I was only five at the time. His wife didn’t live long after childbirth due to the arduous journey — we’d been were exiled to Babylon. Then our father met Arella, and they never told either of us the truth. They raised us as brothers, but it came out when our father was rambling on his death bed.”
“So Arie’s mother...she’s the only mother you ever knew,” I whispered.
And clearly learning the truth had made their relationship complicated. Arie had told me about Arella. She was the vampire his father had met, and she’d taken care of Arie after his mother died. She was the vampire who turned Arie. But Arie had conveniently left out the fact that he had a brother or half-brother or whatever they were to one another. They definitely had the bickering—the definition of family—down pat. That was the one thing I knew without a doubt. The only other thing I knew for sure was...
He lied.
No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn’t confront Arie about his dishonesty given the current situation. They both looked absolutely miserable, lost in the past. If I didn’t think that hugging Toren was such a bad idea, I would have, because the bitterness in his voice betrayed the cold indifference in his emerald eyes. My heart broke for him. For both of them, really, because neither of them had known their mothers. That was something I could understand from personal experience. I’d never known my mother either, but at least the Sight had given me more than most parentless children.
Where others had warm memories of their parents, I had these little glimpses of what my life could have looked like if their arms were wrapped around me. The three of us shared this common thread. It connected us in anger at the world in all its unfairness. Still, I had to be grateful for having the Sight and what it had given me that day in my mother’s old room, sitting on the edge of the bed, talking to my gram.
Toren nodded. “I’m glad we found out the truth, finally, even if it’s something that he’ll never accept. Our father’s death was hard on him.”
Toren talking with me about Arie like he wasn’t even there, but his honesty helped me understand a lot. It had simply pissed Arie off.
“But we couldn’t even agree on that, could we?” Arie bit out.
He sounded almost as bitter as Toren. I wanted to run to him, wrap my arms around him and never let go. Even if he hadn’t told me the truth about Toren, I knew this kind of pain. I’d lived it.
“And have you take the choice away from our father? Like you’d done to me? He’d lived his life, made his choice, and he had a good run of it. Loved his share of women, drank his share of wine, and at his age he was ready. Arella offered and he’d turned her down,” Toren said.
My blood ran cold.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
Arie wouldn’t even look at me.
But Toren looked straight at me. “When Arie became a man, Arella offered to turn us both. She had offered our father but he turned her down. We both told her we’d think on it, but a sickness spread and it just about wiped out our entire town.”
“So you wanted this? You wanted to become a vampire.”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
His face looked vulnerable. “Because I hate to be weak. It was a different time. There were no antibiotics. Life expectancy wasn’t what it is now.” A tight knot formed in my stomach as I remembered what Arie had told me.
“Oh, God. What happened?” I asked.
“Arie became a vampire. I chose not to and came down with the sickness. But Arie turned me against my wishes. Barely managed it since he’d just been turned,” Toren said.
“What was I supposed to do? Let you die? You would have liked that, wouldn’t you?” Arie asked but it wasn’t really a question. “Then I could have stumbled throughout the centuries feeling guilty over it. I suppose that would have been a much better idea.”
“Yes. That’s exactly it.” Toren’s eyes were cold. Hard.
Arie arched an eyebrow. “You’re an idiot.”
It shocked me to hear Arie talk that way.
“And you’re a selfish prick. Live without me, feel guilty forever. All about you as always, brother.”
Arie’s laugh was harsh. “Selfish? You think I turned you and wanted to turn our father because I’m selfish?”
“Yes. Our father made it more than clear to Arella that he didn’t want it. She respected that. Why couldn’t you?”
“Would you both stop arguing?” I begged them.
Neither of them paid any attention to me.
“Because you were fucking family,” Arie snapped. “And sometimes with family you have to do what they don’t want you to, even if it means they’ll hate you forever. But you’ll never understand, will you?”
Toren shook his head. “Don’t you think our father would have let Arella turn him years before if that’s what he’d wanted? But he didn’t want that, and you tried to take that choice away from him. If me and Arella hadn’t held you down, you’d have taken his choice just like you took mine when you turned me.”
I closed my eyes.
So Arie turned Toren when he was on the brink of death.
I couldn’t deny the logic of what either of them had said. Not when they’d spoken so calmly. I’d been dead wrong. Toren meant everything to Arie if he’d go to those lengths to save him. But it seemed that these two had been fighting for centuries, and I didn’t think that would change overnight. And I could see Toren’s side of it too. Arie had done what he’d thought he’d had to do, and it had come from a place of love. His intentions were good, but clearly he’d gone about it in a way that had damaged their relationship. I just hoped it wasn’t permanent. To think that he’d saved Toren’s life and that Toren would go on hating him, go on not accepting, just seemed like such a waste.
“I’m not going to apologize for saving you,” Arie said.
But his voice seemed to soften—his expression was haggard.
“Look, I’m tired. It’s been a really long day. Holly and I just lost a friend. You can stay if you want to but you’ll have to crash on the couch.”
I bit my lower lip to keep all the reasons why this wasn’t a good idea from spilling out. It shocked me that Arie had invited him to stay. But what was I supposed to say? No. Regardless of my feelings, Toren was the only family of Arie’s that I’d ever met. Even though Arie tried to deny it, I could tell that this relationship meant something that went beyond the bickering of siblings and a family history that was damned near apocalyptic.
“Yeah, like I’d leave you alone with Holly after you called her Katarina,” Toren said.
Had to admit Toren had a good point.
“Fine. Whatever. I’m going to bed,” Arie said. Then he pushed off the sofa and headed toward the bedroom.
I really wished he hadn’t left me sitting there with Toren, who was now smirking at me across the coffee table.
“What?” I asked.
“Oh, I’m just thinking of all the ways I could test your theory.”
Great. Now that Toren had lost Arie as a sparring partner, he’d decided to pick right back up with me.
I would have never kissed you back if I knew you weren’t Arie.
My words echoed in my head, and I wondered if their meaning was hollow. Toren grinned, and when he did, he had the same sort of devilish sparkle in his eyes that Arie got when he was being a smartass. Same cocky know-it-all attitude too. Even if there was no proof, there was no denying that these two were definitely related.
“Well don’t,” I snapped.
“Got to do something since Arie still doesn’t have a TV. He always did prefer those dusty old books. And I have to agree that the imagination is far more...seductive.”
He was undressing me with his eyes and the way he enunciated his words sounded as sinful as eating an entire pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream straight from the container. Rich. Decadent. And I wanted to throw something at him.
“Stop it.”
“I would if you really meant it.”
“Oh, you have no idea how much I mean it.”
He grinned. “I think I’ve got a few ideas. The first one starts with your shirt, followed by how I’d take it off. Unbutton it ever so slowly. Leave a teasing little trail straight down your torso—”
“You. Are. Unbelievable.”
Toren smirked. “I get that a lot.”
“That’s not what I meant,” I said as I balled my hands into fists. “I mean that I’m in love with Arie and whatever this is it’s not that. Could never even measure to that, not in a million years. So you can do us both a favor and stop with your ridiculous ideas.”
“Mmmm, are you sure that’s what you want? You’re telling me that you mean it, but I can hear your heart beating like a trip hammer. It’d be boring if we said what we really meant, but it would be a lot less complicated if I told you all my ideas that end with that with your legs wrapped around my waist.”
His voice was quiet. Demanding. And I couldn’t be in the same room with him anymore.
“Not in this lifetime.”
I got up off the sofa, edged around the coffee table, and leaned over the chair where he sat, planting my hands on each armrest. I looked him straight in the face and then lied my ass off. Wanting someone had nothing to do with loving them, and nothing good could come from desiring someone who would only end up hurting you in the end.
“I do mean it and I’m going to bed. The sofa pulls out. Why don’t you get some sleep?”
His hands circled my wrists, thumbs right over the pulse points. “I hear what you’re saying darlin’. Those lips are moving, but your body is telling me another story, and I can think of better things those lips could be doing right now.”
“This,” I hissed, “is never going to happen.”
“You keep moving those lips and I’m going to have to suck on them.”
“Not a chance.”
“Or you could wrap them around my cock.”
I inhaled.
“You know, I think you’re right. There are better things my lips could be doing and I’m going to go do them right now.”
I jerked out of his grip and turned on my heel. Toren’s laughter sounded smug.
-And I can think of a few things to do with that ass. So you go on and keep swaying those hips darlin’. Give me something sweet to dream about.-
But I ignored his telepathic taunt.
I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of looking over my shoulder to glare at him as I headed toward the bedroom. So he could watch my hips slide back and forth as I walked away all he wanted. It didn’t change a thing. Didn’t change the fact that I was going to find Arie and pick up where I’d left off when Toren had found me waiting blindfolded on the bed. Only now I intended to be vocal about it. I’d make some noise so Toren would know that this, whatever this was with me and him, wasn’t ever going to happen, because I what had with Arie...that was real. And it was the only thing that mattered.
* * *
I LET MY CLOTHES FALL to the floor. Then I climbed in next to Arie, curling into my side of the bed. His breathing was even, but I could tell he wasn’t asleep.
“I’m worried about you,” I said, my voice gentle and quiet.
“Don’t be.”
I sucked in air.
“You didn’t tell me about Toren. You should have. We promised...no lies, remember?”
Arie stiffened in the bed next to me. But he rolled over and met my eyes anyway.
“I was going to, but then the Luna’s family decided to pick a fight. When did I have time to tell you?”
I had to admit that Luna’s family was pretty whacked out.
“I don’t know. Maybe instead of making love to me you should have told me about your arrogant maybe half-brother.”
Arie sighed. “Why would I?”
“Because I asked if you had family and then you turned around and lied to me.”
“No, I told you I didn’t have family now. Holly, I don’t consider him my family. You’re my family. That’s the only truth that matters to me anymore.”
“Bullshit.”
He arched an eyebrow. “Don’t believe me? You’re everything to me.”
God, that sounded so good, but I wasn’t about to let him off the hook that easily.
I shook my head. “No, not particularly. But that’s not what I meant. If he didn’t mean anything...” I paused. “If that were true then he wouldn’t be staying on the sofa downstairs.”
“Look, it’s been a long night. I didn’t feel like arguing with him. Besides, what did you want me to do? Kick him out?” His voice sounded strained. “And I am sorry that I didn’t get a chance to tell you. It’s been one thing after another. First Katarina, then Victor Monti...” He paused. Arie pressed his forehead to mine. “Christ, the last thing I wanted was to tell you about Toren when you were so upset about how things turned out when you finally met your grandmother. And then Victoria took off. I haven’t seen him in over fifty years. I never thought he’d show up on my doorstep now.”
He was right. He hadn’t deliberately kept it from me, and given the circumstances all I wanted was to melt into his arms.
“Shhhh.” I cupped his cheeks and pulled his mouth down to mine in a kiss that was both heart-rending and scorching at the same time.
Arie broke the kiss. “Let’s go away.”
I laughed. “We haven’t been able to catch a break, have we?”
“You know, I remember when I took you to dinner and you told me you always wanted to travel.”
“It was our first date. Well, officially. I can’t really count you fixing my flat.”
“I think I loved you even then.” He brushed a chestnut strand out of my face, tucking it behind my ear.
I tilted my head toward his fingers, which released my hair once he’d tucked it into place. “God, I need you.”
-I need you too.-
My eyes welled up with tears. He looked like he was about to say something else, but I effectively cut off whatever it was by wrapping my arms around his neck, smiling for a fraction of a second before sliding my lips to his in the kiss to end all kisses. It was far easier than letting words slip out that could betray my insecurities. I couldn’t lose him. He’d forgotten me, and I had to kiss him until he felt me rooted in his soul. Arie reciprocated by deepening the kiss and fisting a hand in my hair, pressing his body flush against mine. He broke the kiss to look at me.
“Ah, Holly...”
I loved the sound of my name as his voice dropped to a low whisper.
I grinned. “Shhh. Shut up and kiss me.” –Never let me go.-
His mouth was on me, tugging at my bottom lip, and then his tongue tangled with mine. I moaned desperately into his mouth. Every thought I’d had of Toren slipped away when I was right where I was always meant to be—in Arie’s arms.
Without breaking our kiss, he slid his hand down my torso. I was glad that Arie slept naked most of the time, and even more pleased that his custom was starting to rub off on me. He teased his fingertips back and forth across the base of my stomach, and then moved his hand between my legs. Arie groaned when his fingers found my slit and he discovered just how wet I was for him. Already.
“I love how wet you are for me,” he murmured against my neck.
His fingers rubbed in slow circles around my clit. Just the way I liked it.
“Ahhhhh!”
My hands moved down his stomach and gripped his shaft, moving up and down its length. He was kissing along my neck and collarbone, but as I stroked him he growled into my skin. I ground my hips against his hand until they arched off the bed. Knowing what I needed, he pushed two fingers inside of me, curving them upward until he found just the right spot.
My hips bucked in rhythm with his fingers. He knew every curve of my body, every sound that I made, every whimper, and knew what it meant. And only he could turn me inside out. I guess that’s how it was supposed to be when what you wanted was based on more than physical attraction. His love had a draw that held me captive. But right now I needed us to get lost in each other, caught up in the sensations that always made me lose my mind.
“Please, Arie. Make love to me. I don’t want to wait anymore.”
Without warning I was on my back and Arie was poised above me, both hands braced on either side of my shoulders. He locked eyes with mine as I spread my legs wide. He guided the head of his cock inside my pussy, thrusting gently inside of me.
He groaned. “Holly, I love being inside of you.”
All I could do was pant as I met each stroke; they deepened every time he drove into me. I raked my nails up his back and dug them into his shoulder blades. His thrusts were agonizingly slow. So I clawed my nails in deeper, urging him to pick up his pace.
“Harder. I need you. Please!”
He grunted. But he obliged by pounding into me harder and faster until I was a writhing and moaning mess pinned underneath his firm body. My clit was rubbing against the base of his shaft. That was my undoing. The pressure had built in my pussy, in my stomach, before finally...
“Oh, God. Arie. I’m coming.”
Pow.
I screamed as my orgasm hit me with such force that I arched off the bed, gripping his shoulders tight as Arie continued to crash into me. My inner muscles clamped around him as another orgasm, a kind of miniature earthquake, shook around Arie’s cock. He thrust hard twice more and came with a growl before collapsing on top of my limp, satiated body. Through our heavy panting came Toren’s telepathic petition from the pull-out sofa downstairs.
-You two about done? I’m trying to sleep down here.-
I hoped Toren could feel my self-satisfied smile even if he couldn’t see it.
