| |
The last thing that I expected to see when we took the elevator to the third floor at HFC and walked into Tessa’s office was the Cheshire Cat smile that spread across her face when she saw Toren.
“Well, what’s it been?” Tessa asked as she flicked a red-polished fingernail in Toren’s direction.
Toren grinned. “That’s the first thing you’re going to say to me? Really?”
“Well considering that it’s been about a hundred years...yeah.” Her green eyes flashed with genuine desire that went beyond the sarcastic repertoire she directed at everyone, but in an instant it was gone.
“It wouldn’t have anything to do with the predicament I left you in the last time I saw you?” Toren teased.
I didn’t know what he was talking about, but I had a pretty good guess from the sparks that were flying between these two.
My eyes widened.
No one topped Tessa Green, the most notorious dominatrix of Chicago and a powerful Ancient vampire in her own right. But Toren stood there taunting her, and it sounded like he was implying so much more. I had the impression that he knew her quite intimately.
“You didn’t leave me in a predicament that I didn’t anticipate or walk into knowing full well where I was going. After all...I’m a lot older than you,” Tessa said.
It made sense. Tessa had been a famous hetaera, a Greek courtesan, long before Arie and Toren were ever vampires.
“Well now that we’re all caught up,” Arie interjected.
“Is Luna here?” I asked.
“Why?” Tessa asked.
Toren flopped into one of the oversized chairs in front of her lavish desk made from Carpathian elm. “We’re going demon hunting.”
Tessa tapped her red nail on the desk’s surface. “Any particular demon?”
“Daeveena,” I said. “The night Victoria took off she did something to Arie on her way out. I heard her mutter something under her breath. We were just at Rue’s Attic, and from what we discovered I think she did something to meddle with his memory.”
Tessa looked from me to Arie and frowned. I could tell she was concerned.
“Okay,” she said. “Who am I?”
Arie glared at Tessa. “A pain in the ass.”
“And who’s that?” Tessa said, pointing at Toren.
“An even bigger pain in the ass,” Arie said, before he crossed his arms.
“His memory seems fine to me,” Tessa said.
“It’s sporadic,” I said quietly. “He called me Kat. He didn’t know me at all.”
Toren’s eyes softened at my words. One thing I hated to the depths of my soul was pity. I’d had my lion’s share of pity my whole life. Before the Ellis family took me in I’d been a pathetic little foster girl, and it always meant one of two things—pity or ridicule. I almost preferred the ridicule.
“We need to see Luna and see if she has anything that belongs to Daeveena that we can use for a locator spell,” Arie said.
“We’re going to take it to Rue,” I added as I raised my chin.
“She’s not here, but she’ll be in later for her shift,” Tessa said.
Crap.
The club didn’t open until eight o’clock. Most of our clients, those who frequented the BDSM club upstairs or the Goth clubbers who came for vampire role play downstairs, were night owls anyway.
“Well, you’re welcome to stick around and wait for her,” Tessa said. “She’s been staying in your old apartment since Victoria left, and pulling extra shifts.”
But her gaze went from Arie to Toren when she said stick around. Did she want him to stay? Had she looked hopeful for a split second or had I imagined it?
Toren snickered. “Oh, I don’t want to tie you up.”
That comment seemed to light a fire in Tessa’s eyes, but whatever it was that got under her skin was gone in an instant.
“Those days are over,” Tessa said. “I don’t let anyone rope me into things that I won’t have time for tomorrow. Least of all you.”
Ouch.
I thought Toren was flirting with her and that maybe Tessa even liked it a little. I didn’t know what it was between them, but there was definitely something there. A connection, whether they saw it or not, wanted it or not—but then, it was always easier to deny how you really felt rather than take a chance on getting hurt. I understood that weakness all too well.
Toren’s eyes, which were a deeper green than hers, looked like an ice-covered forest. He’d shut down too. Shut her out before I’d even been able to figure out why.
“We’ll stop back later when she’s around,” Toren said.
“Fine by me,” Tessa said before she turned toward me. “While this is going on I want you to take some time off, Holly.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I think you’re right.”
“I usually am,” she answered, but she wasn’t looking at me. Tessa was looking at Toren in a way that I’d never seen her look at anyone. She looked at him the way that I looked at Arie, except she looked let down, too. “I love when I’m proved wrong, but people always have a way of disappointing you eventually.”
I’d never wanted to hug Tessa—she didn’t seem like the hugging type—but she looked like she could use one now.
“Can’t argue with you there,” Arie said, his gaze following Tessa’s. “Come on, Holly. We’ll come back later.”
When I turned to follow Arie out, Toren was looking down, and I understood what I saw. Regret. And regret was a powerful thing. I’d never let anyone in before I met Arie, because the Sight made relationships impossible. But I’d always wondered if I should have, because then maybe it’d be easier for me to trust now. Instead I worried about decisions I’d made because I didn’t want to do the wrong thing, and so many times it held me back from following my heart. The Sight had always made me feel stuck, uncomfortable, or like I should have done something else. I never wanted to regret anything so I’d always played it safe. At least until Arie had walked into my life the day he came to the Coffee Grind, and I’d been swept into his world, swept into a love that I never thought was possible. Whether either of them was aware of it, both Toren and Tessa seemed locked in a past filled with regret instead of embracing the chance for a new beginning that could change their future.
Toren rose from the oversized chair in front of her desk and gave Tessa a quick nod. “I guess I’ll see you around.”
Tessa’s laugh sounded harsh. “Thanks for the warning.”
“Tell Luna that we stopped by,” I said.
Toren had already stepped into the hallway, and stood there looking back at her with his hands shoved in his pockets. Tessa stepped around her desk and held the door open to show us out. Then only thing painful about guilt or regret was if we continued to allow it to have power over us by giving in to the pointless suffering that we inflicted on ourselves and letting it consume us.
“Will do,” Tessa said.
I was glad to leave the heavy air of her office behind, but it was replaced in the BMW, where Toren remained silent, for once, as he looked out the window while we passed budding trees lining the sidewalk. It was the first sign of spring. A sign of new beginnings; but whenever a new narrative begins it usually means that something else had to end.
* * *
I’D LOVED ARIE SINCE the first time I’d seen him sitting in the Coffee Grind checking me out. I just didn’t know it at the time. I’d been frazzled and annoyed with the way his eyes followed my every move, even though he was the hottest man I’d ever seen. That he was drool-worthy was for sure, but why he kept coming in day after day—or why he’d bother with someone like me—had been unclear. Not that I was unattractive, but I’d always felt like a plain Jane with my unruly chestnut hair and glasses. I no longer needed the glasses as a vampire, and Arie always brushed away the hair that fell into my face. At the moment he was twirling a strand around his index finger.
We were side by side in his ginormous bed. We’d retreated upstairs in the loft and left Toren to mull over the tumbler he sipped, swirled, scowled, and then continued to repeat that process until Arie gave me the nod. We got the hell out of Dodge before the scowling and stench of alcohol could get any worse. Then I’d heard the door to the balcony open and close. So for the moment we had the loft to ourselves.
-So were Tessa and Toren ever a thing?- I asked Arie telepathically, because even though Toren was outside I couldn’t be sure whether he’d be able to hear me if I whispered.
Arie sighed. –Something happened between them, but Toren doesn’t talk about it. Neither does she, but I get the distinct impression that she’ll never trust him.-
I smiled. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”
“Does it matter? He’ll never change, and I guarantee you he won’t stick around. He’s never stayed in one place for very long, and after our disagreement about Katarina he’s never put down roots.”
I nodded. “I know what that’s like.”
“He’s always resented that I saved his life.”
“When you turned him...”
Arie looked away for a moment and then met my eyes. “He was too young to know what he was doing by choosing a death sentence. I could understand with our father. I wasn’t happy about it at first, but I could honor that. No, Toren’s choice was suicidal, an act of stupidity, and someone had to save him from himself.”
“I get it. Your father had lived his life,” I said.
“And I was selfish at first to want it any other way, but losing a parent is hard. Maybe you think I should have done the same with Toren, but he was always too reckless to think things through.”
“You love him.”
Arie sighed. “It’s more than that.” –With him sometimes I’ve wondered if he has a death wish.- “But when Toren and I both found out the truth through my father’s ramblings on his death bed, none of that mattered to me.” –He has a way of testing your patience and making you not like what comes out when he pushes you too far.-
I understood that too. I’d never known Arie to be selfish, and understood now why Victoria had been the only one he’d turned after Toren and Katarina. I placed my fingertips on his mouth to still his words and replaced my fingers with my lips. I put my arms around his neck and brought his head down, deepening the kiss. The pressing of our lips, the tangle of our tongues began as a slow movement that became savage. Frantic. My hands trailed down his chest, opening the top button on his shirt. It was hard to think, and hard to concentrate on getting his shirt off, when he kissed me until every muscle had turned to jelly.
Whenever Arie kissed me the entire world faded, and all we knew was the taste of each other’s mouths. I’d never had that experience when I kissed anyone before. And I never heard Toren when he came back in from the balcony or knew he was in the living room downstairs until his telepathic jeer.
–Do you two ever stop? I’m going for a walk. I’ll be back later.-
I flinched when the door to the loft banged shut.
-If I feel like it.-
He had to add that last bit through the door he’d just slammed like an insolent teenager. In a way I was relieved that he had left. Arie sighed and pressed his forehead against mine. At that moment I hated the hypersensitive hearing that we had, because it felt like Arie and I could never be alone.
“I’m sorry about that,” Arie said.
“Why are you apologizing for someone else?”
“No one should be subjected to Toren.”
I laughed. “Well at least now we’re really alone.”
Arie grinned. “You’ve got a point. Where were we?”
He traced a finger along my jaw line, down my neck, and across the crest of my breast.
“Mmmm. I do believe you were kissing me.”
“Like this?”
Arie trailed kisses down my neck and across my collarbone. I couldn’t think of a better way to kill the time while we were waiting for the club to open and Luna to start her shift. My fingers found the buttons on his shirt, and I picked up where I’d left off. I’d never tire of taking Arie’s clothes off. He had a way of ratcheting my libido into overdrive, and I didn’t mind it one bit. No, Arie could tie me to the bedposts any day of the week, and nothing made me fall apart like his hands and his mouth lighting a fire across my skin.
I prayed that he’d make me fall apart a few times before we left this bed.
