The next few days passed in a blur of sullen silence. Though she and Nathan often crossed paths, he rarely spoke to her, a fact that tore at Abigail’s already-tattered emotions. Now that the day of her departure had arrived, she was more filled with despair than ever before.
She stared sadly at the folds of the curtains surrounding her bed. Dawn had begun to pink the sky, and she could hear Nathan stirring upstairs. She knew she should slip from her covers and meet him, perhaps try one last time to work things out, but her bruised heart and battered pride kept her firmly in the bed.
Finally Nathan’s heavy tread sounded on the ladder, but instead of heading outside, he paused next to the curtains.
“Abigail?”
Swallowing her tears, she tried to sound normal. “Yes?”
“Are you up? I—thought we could talk.”
Irrational as it was, hope flared in her chest. “I’ll be right out.”
She jerked back the covers, grabbed her shawl, and threw it around her shoulders. Nathan stepped aside as she emerged from the curtains. He hadn’t bothered to light a lantern, but in the dim glow of morning, it was easy enough to see that his face was drawn and pale and his eyes red, as though he’d spent as sleepless a night as she. Again, the hope inside her fanned to life.
He motioned toward the table. They sat.
Inclining his head toward the bags next to the door, he said, “You’re packed?”
She nodded. “I have a few things left. Not all of it would fit into my trunk.”
“I can send the rest of your things later, if you want.”
This was not going at all as she’d hoped, no, prayed, it would. She dropped her gaze to her clasped fingers. “Yes. Thank you.”
Nathan cleared his throat. “Abigail, there’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you, something I would like to give you—before you go.”
Her heart skipped a beat at the look of pain that twisted his features. She leaned forward. “Yes?”
Slipping his hand into the pocket of his shirt, he pulled out a bundle of bills that were rolled and bound with twine. “I don’t regret marrying you, Abigail. Deep down, I know that is what Anson would have wanted—for me to take care of you while we figured out what really happened at the mine.”
She nodded, understanding slowly dawning.
“But I also promised that I would help you go back to Virginia if that was what you wanted, once all was said and done.” He waited, but she wasn’t foolish enough to think it was because he hoped she might change her mind. He held out the money. “I’d like you to take this. I know you don’t need it, what with the aunts coming to help you claim your inheritance and all. Still, I think it’s only fitting that I hold to my promise.”
She didn’t want it. Her hands shook as she fought to keep them clenched tightly in her lap. Finally Nathan sighed, laid the roll on the table, and stood.
“I hope you don’t mind—but the work at the livery doesn’t wait. Not even long enough to grieve. Good-bye, Abigail. I’ll—miss your friendship.”
With that, he turned and walked slowly out the door, taking Abigail’s dreams, her very heart, with him. Feeling as though her core had been splintered in two, she dropped her head onto her arms and cried.
Seated on the tack bench with Lizzie at his feet, Nathan tried hard to pretend that nothing was wrong, but seeing his daughter’s tearstained face was almost more than he could bear. Any moment now, Abigail would board the coach that would carry her to Daggett. From there, she and the aunts would depart by train for Virginia.
Clenching his fists, he berated himself for being all kinds of a coward for not seeing them off, but letting Abigail go had been hard enough. In fact, he’d wrestled all night against the desire to fling himself at her feet and beg her to stay. He simply didn’t think he could stand watching her actually leave.
Lifting his gaze to the rafters, he breathed a silent prayer for strength. Though he didn’t understand God’s plan, he knew it had carried him this far. He wouldn’t go back to casting doubt now.
“Pa, is Abigail coming back?”
Lizzie’s plaintive voice tore at his heart. He reached down and gathered his daughter onto his lap. “I don’t think so, sweetheart.”
“But why? I thought she loved us.”
“Oh, she loves you, Lizzie. You mustn’t ever doubt that.” It was him she had no feelings for.
“Then why, Pa? Why is she going? Can’t you talk her into staying?”
The livery door creaked open and Caroline stalked inside, her hands on her hips and her eyes flashing fire. “That’s exactly what I say, Lizzie.” She strode over and stood in front of them. “Well? Can’t you?”
He drew his brows together in a frown. “Can’t I what?”
“Talk her into staying.” She rolled her eyes. “Oh, for goodness’ sake—Abigail loves you, you know. And you love her, only neither of you is smart enough to admit it.” She wagged her finger at him. “Do you know where I’ve just been?”
Setting Lizzie on her feet, Nathan rose. “No.”
“The stage depot, that’s where. Abigail is there, and she’s crying her eyes out, only she won’t let her aunts come and tell you. She made them promise not to say a word.”
Nathan still wasn’t thinking clearly. His brain felt as scrambled as a pan full of eggs. “But I heard her and the aunts talking. They agreed—the sooner Abigail went back to Virginia with them, the better.”
Caroline gave an exasperated sigh. “Look, Hawk, I don’t know what you think you heard. All I know is that my best friend’s heart is breaking, and if you don’t do something about it right now”—she paused and tears welled in her eyes—“you’ll lose her forever. Is that what you want, Nathan? For Abigail to leave Calico forever and you never telling her how you really feel?”
Torn by indecision, Nathan looked from Lizzie to Caroline. It was the hopeful look in his daughter’s eyes that finally compelled him to motion. Or maybe it was that he’d wanted to go all along and it just took a nudge from Caroline to get him moving.
He braced his hands against his knees. “Lizzie, do you feel like going for a walk? I think there’s someone we need to see.”
Clapping her hands, she was up and out the door before he finished speaking. Nathan turned to Caroline.
She clasped his hands and gave him an encouraging smile. “Just tell her how you feel. It’s all she’s ever needed to know. I promise, you won’t be sorry.”
But halfway to the depot, he wasn’t so sure. What if Caroline was wrong? What if Abigail didn’t love him and it was just the thought of leaving Lizzie and her father’s grave behind that had her so emotional?
“There she is, Pa!”
Lizzie tugged on his hand, but he refused to let her run ahead. Instead, he walked with her to the platform, under the surprised stares of Vivian and Hester Jane.
Abigail rose slowly as they approached. She was dressed in a blue traveling dress, a hat, and gloves. Looking like that, he had no doubt she belonged in Virginia. She was far too beautiful to waste her life here in Calico. Still, he’d come this far.
He drew to a stop in front of her and tugged the hat from his head. “Abigail…” Everything he’d meant to say stuck in his throat. He loved her so much. Losing her now left him with an ache he couldn’t wrestle down.
She stepped closer. “Nathan.”
Suddenly Lizzie stamped her foot and jammed her free hand onto her hip. “Tell her, Pa.” When he still didn’t speak, she turned to Abigail. “He’s come to tell you that he loves you, Abigail. And so do I. And so do you.” She pointed at Nathan’s chest. “Love him, I mean.”
For several seconds, neither of them spoke, and then, as if freed from their bonds at the same moment, they both started laughing.