I got home from the bike ride and immediately went up to my room to sulk. I could barely concentrate on whatever Lee was talking about for the rest of our hangout after he dropped the news about Nia. I mean, of all people to admit he had a crush on…! My best friend! And besides, if Lee was going to be into anyone, I would think he’d be more interested in my other best friend Olive Banks. She’s creative, crafty, in orchestra, and doesn’t mind getting her hands dirty. But, really, Nia? The girliest girl in town? Really, Lee? I felt so frustrated. And a little sad. And a little…gosh, I didn’t know. But I had to do something about it, otherwise I was just going to feel worse and worse. So I wrote a few lines in my secret blog:
CONFESSION #20:
I cannot believe this—Lee and Nia? Together? Like, he has a crush on her? When did this happen? In math class? Science? I mean, it’s not like they’ve ever hung out one-on-one. We all just eat together in the cafeteria. And now, what, am I supposed to tell Nia how he feels? I can’t just hand over my secret boy crush, the person I wanted to spend my entire life with, to my best friend. She doesn’t even like the same things as Lee! Does he know she doesn’t like to get her fingernails dirty playing in creek mud? Does he know she doesn’t like reptiles? They creep her out. He’ll never even be able to take his pet lizard, Chadwick, with them on hangouts, you know. Plus, Lee is one of the nicest, most polite people I’ve ever known in my life, and Nia—well, she is nice, too, but also can really hurt someone’s feelings if they cross her. I just. Can’t. Believe. Any of this. 
I logged out of my blog and sat back on the bed, slumping my shoulders. Then I picked up my cell phone and dialed the one person who would know what to do in this kind of crisis. I called Chloe Lawrence-Johnson.
“Hey, girl!” Chloe said in a perky voice. “What’s up?”
“Siiiggghh…hi.”
“Girl, I can hear the sadness through the phone,” Chloe said. “What is wrong?”
“I just…I just don’t know….” I still didn’t know how to explain the Lee-and-Nia situation out loud.
“What, Victoria got you tongue-tied?”
“No,” I said. “I just got, like, the worst info. Lee wanted to ride to the park, so we went, and he told me I should invite Nia to hang out with us sometime.”
“Nia?” Chloe said. “Okay. What’s the big deal?”
“You know, hang out with us. So he eventually can ‘hang out’ with her. Just her.”
“Ohhhh,” Chloe said, finally picking up what I was putting down. “But Lee’s, like, ‘your’ guy, right? Isn’t that what you told me?”
“I never said that!” I said. I had never admitted out loud to anyone that I had any feelings for Lee. “Okay, I had, like, one dream about our wedding. But, like, I never said I liked him liked him. If anything, he was acting like he had a crush on me! All those times he comes over for Sunday dinner? All the time we spent together at our lake houses? We had a different kind of friendship! So I thought.” I knew it was probably just wishful thinking…. I was pretty positive Lee had only ever seen me as a good friend. And now I knew for sure he did.
I knew I felt differently about Lee than I did other boys. Like I only blushed when Lee sat close to me. I only laughed my snort laugh when Lee told jokes. Lee is also the only boy I have ever touched a real live frog for. I don’t do that for just anyone. And I know Nia wouldn’t do that for anyone!
“You know what this means,” I continued. “Now he’ll only want to hang out with her, and then he’ll never hang out with me anymore! Chloe, I don’t want to lose him! I don’t want to be the third wheel for my two best friends in Featherstone Creek! I gotta figure out how I’m going to steal Lee back from Nia. Which is awful, but it must be done for, like, the greater good!”
“The greater good of what? Yourself? Girl, get a grip,” Chloe said, chuckling. “First of all, can we talk about the important things?”
“Like what? This is important!”
“No, field hockey is important. Your grades are important. Staying on your parents’ good side is important. Do you think you should pay more attention to those things than try to get a boyfriend right now? Didn’t you just get off punishment, like, two days ago?”
Chloe was right. Why is she so practical? Dang it!
“And besides, Lee didn’t say he wanted to be bf/gf with Nia immediately. He just asked if you would invite her to hang out more. He didn’t say he wanted Nia to be his future wife. Or even call her dad and ask for his permission to take her out or anything. Chillllll.”
“I know, but this, like, changes things!” I said.
“No, it doesn’t. As long as you don’t let it, it changes nothing. Relax, girl. It’s Saturday. Dang, you bringin’ Monday drama here. When are you going to tell Nia?”
Bleuuch!! “Um, do I have to?”
“Um, yes, girl, she is your other best friend. You can’t hide this from her, especially if Lee wants her to know he’s interested, which he does. Maybe she has some feelings for him, too.”
That is not a vision I wanted to have in my head. Nia would work her charm on Lee and all of a sudden they’d be bf/gf, just like that. “I don’t know. I just don’t know if I can do this.” I took my hair out of my bun and started braiding it in frustration.
“Well, you have to tell them the truth. Don’t sit there and be a roadblock to their budding relationship.”
“Thanks, Chloe,” I said sarcastically. I ended the call, scrunching up my face in defeat.
Just as I put down the phone and was thinking I could close my eyes and pretend it could all disappear, fairy dust erupted in front of my face. First just a cloud. Then a whole storm of fairy dust, swirling downward from the ceiling in a tornado of sparkles and glitter. The wind whipped through my hair and made my eyes water. Only one person could create this kind of mess.
“June, my dear! It’s been a minute,” Victoria greeted as she popped into my room at the tail end of the fairy dust storm cloud. One of her slippers had come off her foot, and she reached down to put it back on.
“Only a minute,” I said with a groan. “Weren’t you just here?”
“A few days ago, dear, but I saw what went down between you and Lee today—and you not telling Lee how you feel about him and not telling him the whole truth about Nia. Honey, let’s discuss.”
“Let’s not?”
“You want this spell lifted before you get your driver’s license or what?” Victoria said, winking.
“Goodness, okay,” I said. “So, what, I’m supposed to tell him I like him after he confesses he likes my best friend instead?”
“Well, did he say that? Sounds like he said he wanted to spend more time with the two of you together. Either way, why didn’t you tell him that Nia had asked about him, too?”
“Because she only asked once, and I’ve seen her more curious about a new pair of shoes than about Lee.”
“Uh-huh,” Victoria said with a roll of her eyes. “You sure? You sure there’s not one pang of jealousy keeping you from getting on the phone with Nia right now and telling her about your bike ride?”
“But maybe Lee wanted me to keep it a secret,” I said, and sniffled because Victoria was 100 percent right.
“You could still ask her to hang out with you and Lee, like he wanted, without mentioning any potential crushes.”
None of these options seemed good. I didn’t want to tell Lee my true feelings. I didn’t want any part of Lee’s relationship with anyone else. And a big part of me didn’t want to help Nia steal away my best guy friend, even if she was my best girl friend! “Can’t I just stay out of it?”
“Is that really doing the best service to your friends?” Victoria asked. “I suggest you think about this before you decide to say nothing. Withholding facts is still lying. Remember, you must always tell the truth, to everyone. That’s the only way this spell gets lifted. I’m watching you.”
And then Victoria took two steps backward, and twirled in a tight counterclockwise circle until a blur of fairy dust and sparkles surrounded her, wrapping her in a tight cone-shaped spiral. Then it released her upward into thin air once again. The pile of fairy dust quickly fell to the ground, right alongside my broken heart—here, finally, was the consequence of realizing my best guy friend didn’t have the same mushy feelings about me that I did about him.
CONFESSION #21:
So Lee doesn’t like me. Or at least he doesn’t like me in that way. Lee doesn’t like me. I hate how that sounds. It’s like admitting tropical punch Kool-Aid tastes like a bunch of old Nerds dissolved in water. Does this mean he’ll never like me? Am I not cool enough? Not smart enough? (Remember that C minus on our math quiz earlier this semester! 
) Am I not fun to hang out with anymore?? I’m fun! I’m funny! But wait—I have to tell the truth all the time! I’m too busy focusing on that to crack jokes. I can’t make funny commentary! Maybe I’m not funny anymore! Maybe I’m not even fun to hang out with anymore! SEE, this truth-telling spell is GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE!!!