PERSONALITY

An individual’s response to loss depends in part on his or her personality type. Some people are grief-prone. They form strong attachments, and any separation produces deep sorrow and longing. How much is innate, and how much is learned, we do not know; regardless, adjusting to loss is difficult for that type of personality.

Introverted and extroverted types differ in the way they deal with loss. Whereas introverts usually secure one or two close friends, extroverts gather them in mass quantities. Extroverts, therefore, are able to call on a large network for support—and social support is an important element in coping with loss.

Stoic and dramatic personalities contrast as well. Stoic types make unemotional and brief statements, such as “Life goes on.” Their counterparts are flamboyant in their display of emotions, often swooning, “I’ll never, ever get over this.” That display, however, does not necessarily reflect their genuine feelings. Paradoxically, stoic individuals often “never get over it,” and sometimes “life goes on” as usual for the dramatists.

Certain personality types attach to things. They suffer over their Mercedes being clipped or a business deal falling apart, rather than when they lose a relationship. After the death of a close loved one, however, these individuals often switch priorities—their relationships with other people become more important than their possessions. Most of these personality types revert to their former selves over time, but, meanwhile, attempting to predict their mourning process is futile.