She was thinking of all the reasons she needed to avoid Tanner Dawson. The man still had strong feelings for a woman who’d loved another. Confused about the whole thing, Eva got ready for bed. Whatever had been between Tanner and Deborah was a complicated thing. Eva had never loved that strongly, but she could see how it might happen to a person.
“Are you all right?” Ramona asked as she passed Eva’s partially open door.
“I’m exhausted,” Eva admitted. “I cooked and cleaned and tried to stay ahead of Becky’s cold, which turned out to be more than a cold. I’ll be fine tomorrow.”
“Ja, because you will rest here all day until time to go to work at the shop. And if you aren’t feeling up to that, you can go back to bed.”
Eva nodded and yawned. “I’ll be fine by morning.”
After Ramona left, she curled up in her bed and thought about Tanner and Becky. Her prayers surrounded them.
They need help, Lord. They need someone to give them the kind of love that makes a family—a strong love, but a firm love, built on honesty and respect and trust. How can I help? Should I help? I am confused and afraid, but hopeful and determined. But Your will has to be the final answer. Your will, Lord. Not mine.
She fell asleep with hope in her heart.
And she woke the next morning unable to breathe, her throat raw with pain.
Tanner wasn’t used to staying at home. He felt at odds, but Becky was still asleep, and he didn’t want to wake her. She’d had a rough night, a scary night for both of them. The doctor had warned she might find some discomfort, so Tanner had rubbed her neck with the salve the doctor had suggested. After he’d given her more medicine, she’d finally drifted off to sleep.
But she’d asked for Eva.
“Eva had to go back to Ramona’s house to get some rest,” he’d explained.
Becky didn’t understand why Eva couldn’t stay with her. How did he explain the proper decorum, the rules, to a child who only needed a mother? Eva would make a fine mother one day because she’d been through so much in her childhood. Losing her father, submitting to her mother’s misguided demands and being sickly were more than one child needed to bear. But she’d overcome her fears to make this trip, to find her strength and see how she’d survive without all the hovering of a loved one.
Hovering and smothering.
He would not do that to Becky. If nothing else, Eva had showed him that. And more.
Standing in the kitchen that felt so empty now, he could still smell the freshness of Eva’s cleaning. He’d have to do better there. His bedroom was dusty and dark, but he didn’t want to stir up that dust now with Becky so sick. Eva had straightened a few things, but she’d respected him and left it alone for the most part. A telling gesture if nothing else.
A knock at the door brought his head around.
James stood there, shuffling on two feet.
“Aren’t you supposed to be at the shop?”
James bobbed his head. “I’m not touching your workshop—I promise. I’m only cleaning up scraps, just like Martha told me.”
Tanner was glad to hear that. He had a lot of dangerous tools lying around. “Okay, so where’s the fire?”
“It’s Eva. She can’t work today. Ramona says she’s sick and needs her rest.”
“I figured that,” Tanner replied. “She worked here tending Becky yesterday.”
James pushed at his straw hat. “It’s the breathing, Ramona said. I mean Eva’s having some sort of breathing problems.”
“What?” Tanner’s mild concern turned to serious worry. “She’s ill, too?”
“Very, according to Ramona. She wanted you to know.”
Tanner thanked James for bringing the news. “Keep me posted and let them know I’m here to help.”
He wanted to go and see Eva, but he couldn’t leave Becky right now.
He could only stand here and wonder how Eva got sick.
Eva felt as if a truck had hit her. Her chest hurt with congestion. She couldn’t find her next breath. Ramona had called a cab to get them to the clinic because Eva could barely walk.
The nightmare she’d fought all her life had returned to grip her. Mamm would want her home, but she wouldn’t be able to get there in this shape. Nor would she be able to help with Becky or the store.
“We’ll get you checked over and get some medicine to relieve you,” Ramona told her. “I’ll have to let Helen know, of course. You’ve already missed her call.”
Eva could only nod. She hadn’t felt this bad since last fall when the damp weather and a virus going around had brought on a flare of bronchitis. She wondered if she’d picked up Becky’s sickness and why so quickly.
Dr. Whitmore came into the exam room and shook his head. “You’re back so soon?”
“Ja,” Ramona said. “And this time she’s the one sick. Was Becky contagious?”
Dr. Whitmore tugged at his chin as he checked Eva’s ears and throat. “Becky had a bacterial infection she probably got at school. A cold that turned worse, so yes, if you’ve been around her before yesterday, you could have picked it up unknowingly.”
“I’ve been sitting with her for a few days now. And I work in her daed’s shop,” Eva managed to croak out. “I must have picked it up quickly.”
After Ramona told the doctor Eva’s history, he nodded. “So you have certain allergies and something like a little bug can make that even worse. What about Becky’s home? Anything there that you might be allergic to?”
Eva thought back over her day. “I cleaned the whole house, trying to get all the germs.” She remembered doing a light sweep over Tanner’s bedroom. “Dust,” she said. “I did cough a lot in one of the bedrooms.”
A blush ran up her cheeks as the doctor and Ramona stared at her. “It needed a gut airing. It wasn’t dirty, but just dusty and dark. No light.”
“Maybe a little dank?” Ramona asked. “Tanner is a widower,” she explained to the doctor.
“Oh, that’s right. Well, he might think he’s going a good job cleaning, but dust can gather in a lot of dark places.”
“I’ll get on that,” Ramona replied. “It’s not healthy for anyone to be surrounded by dust, and here with the humidity, mold, too.”
Eva felt bad for Tanner. He’d blame himself when it wasn’t his fault. He’d probably frowned on any of his family cleaning his room, because he still had Deborah’s clothes there in the armoire. The armoire Eva had opened out of curiosity.
If she told him the doctor’s suspicious, Tanner would know she’d been in his room, snooping. Well, accidentally snooping when she’d been tidying the place. But she had mentioned going in there.
Right now, she was too sick to be embarrassed or worried, so she listened to Dr. Whitmore’s advice and took the prescription he’d written.
She arrived back home with medicine and orders to take it easy over the next few days.
Despondent, Eva knew she’d have to return to Campton Creek once Mamm heard she was sick. Tanner would need to find someone else to take care of Becky, and sooner than they’d both planned.
She went back to bed and had fitful sleep the rest of the day. She’d had a brief time of being healthy and now this. How she hated this feeling of helplessness, of fighting for each breath. But the coughing and wheezing seemed to attack her from every corner.
Who would want a wife such as her? She’d be just as sick as any kinder, a double burden for any man. Especially a man who only wanted to protect his daughter because he still loved and needed to also protect the mother she’d lost.
“Daed, can we read the book about Noah’s Ark again?”
Tanner glanced down at Becky with a tired smile. “I think you need to take a nap. Your medicine is working, but you need to rest a bit more. I’ll read you a story tonight before bed, as I always do.”
Becky looked sad but she nodded. “I wish Eva was here. She reads to me a lot.”
“I wish she could be here, too,” Tanner replied, meaning it.
Eva had become a big part of their lives in these few short weeks. He wanted to see how she was doing, but he also didn’t want to upset Becky. So he waited and watched and made sure Becky was improving.
“Can we sit on the porch?” Becky asked, clearly getting her energy back.
“Not yet. You need to eat some soup and then take your nap. You can come into the kitchen with me while I heat up the soup Martha sent over to us.”
“Chicken noodle. Martha says that will cure anything.”
“Martha knows her soups—that’s for certain sure.”
Soon he had Becky giggling while they slurped noodles without using their table manners. Spending this forced time with Becky made Tanner see that as much as he loved his daughter, there was a trace of himself that he’d held back.
She would always be his daughter.
But she had belonged to another for a brief time. A man who never even knew he was going to be a father. Deborah never got the chance to tell him so.
And Tanner would always wonder what would have happened if the man hadn’t been killed. Would he have run away with Deborah as she’d planned? Or would Deborah have still wound up at Tanner’s door, seeking help?
It was too much. Too complicated. Too risky.
No one could ever know the truth. For Becky’s sake.
And maybe because Tanner had some pride left, too.
He needed to ponder that and work it out.
A knock at the door brought him out of his musings.
Ramona stood there with more food.
Glad to see her, Tanner invited her in. “I’ve scoured the whole place, so you should be safe.” Then he lowered his voice, “I heard Eva is ill, too. How is she?”
Becky lifted her head. “Did I get Eva sick?” Then tears formed in her eyes. “That’s why she’s not here. I got her sick.”
Ramona glanced at Tanner, and he let out a long huff of a sigh. Becky’s tears fell down her face like a tiny waterfall.
Ramona put down the cookies and sandwiches she’d brought and rushed to Becky. “It’s okay. Eva is doing just fine. The same nasty bug that caught you also got to her. But she has medicine, same as you. And she is resting, same as you.”
“Why can’t we be sick together?” Becky said on a wail. “We could read and take naps. I want her to come and see me.”
“She can’t,” Tanner said with a sharpness he hadn’t intended. “Eva needs her rest. Alone. And so do you.”
Becky cried and tugged at Ramona. “Will you take her the book about Noah’s Ark so she can read it? She loves the dove.”
Tanner’s heart fell apart at those words. He swallowed and took Becky into his arms. “I’ll send her the book if you try to take a nap. Then when you are both better, we’ll take a day to go to the beach. And stay far from the big waves, so no one will be sick again. Okay?”
Becky nodded. “Okay.”
Tanner put her in her bed, got the book she wanted Eva to have, wiped it down and then came back out to find Ramona tidying the kitchen.
“You don’t need to do that,” he said.
Ramona turned and gave him a solid glance. “I do need to do this, and Tanner, you need a housekeeper. The doctor thinks dust and mold might have caused Eva’s sickness. We can’t be sure where Becky or Eva picked this up but starting at home is always for the best when dealing with germs. But if Eva gets sick again, she might not be able to do her job after all. In fact, her mamm will probably want her to come home right away once she hears this.”