Tanner heard Martha’s question about Eva walking Becky home, but he didn’t know how to answer it. “I’m not sure.”
Martha did a tsk-tsk and shook her head. “You hired her, Tanner. She’s capable, sweet as honey and willing to help in any way. This woman is learning how to deal with life on her own terms, now that she has room to breathe and become herself. I’ve worked with her for a while now, and Eva is a gut person and worthy of your trust.”
“Am I necessary in helping her, then?”
“You seem to be. You don’t want to be around her, and yet, you managed to keep her nearby. What’s up with you, Tanner?”
Tanner knew he must be confusing everyone with this push and pull he had with Eva. He wanted to push her away, but yet he couldn’t send her away. His vow to never let another woman into his heart had gone weak, like the last flame of a candle burning out.
A grunt escaped before he could tamp down his aggravation. “Today, I’m trying to get this piece of wood shaped into a work of art. But so far, I have been interrupted over and over.”
Martha looked aggravated herself. “Your daughter is tired and ready to go home. What should I tell Eva?”
Tanner threw up his hands in defeat. “She can take Becky home and wait for me there.”
“See, that wasn’t so hard now, was it?” Martha asked.
“Neh, I suppose it wasn’t.”
He watched Martha walk away, then stood and stared out the window. If he fired Eva now, it would only make things worse. Becky would be sad, and he’d be embarrassed and ashamed of himself. Deborah used to tell him he was too blunt and callous with his words. But words came hard for him. His family had been stoic and silent for the most part. So he’d learned to keep all his thoughts and feelings buried deep, because when he did speak he’d stutter, and his friends would tease him.
But he’d overcome that, thanks to his doctor and a teacher who helped him learn how to relax and form the words. Why couldn’t he do that whenever Eva was around?
Talk about questions that needed answers. His family had not approved of his feelings for Deborah. Daed told him she was too wild and flirtatious, that she’d break his heart. And Daed had been correct. Deborah fell hard for someone else and left Tanner spinning in her fragrant dust.
Until the day she’d shown up on his doorstep here, asking for help. The kind of help that binds a man and a woman together forever.
He watched as Becky and Eva strolled toward his house. They were laughing and smiling. Becky lifted her finger and pointed out a hibiscus bush with an early vivid pink blossom. Eva touched the lone flower and smiled. Then Becky took Eva’s hand, and they kept walking.
His daughter trusted Eva in a way Becky had never trusted anyone else. She loved her family, but something about Eva’s innocent nature had grabbed at his daughter’s heart.
And his heart, too, unfortunately.
He wanted to run after them and touch the hibiscus blossoms with them, cut flowers for Becky to put in a vase while Eva and he made supper. He wanted that with such a deep longing the shreds of his heart burned from the pain of it.
But he couldn’t have that. His heart could burn even more if he gave it away again. Maybe he was protecting his heart more than he’d tried to protect his daughter. He guarded both.
Tanner went back to work. But he didn’t work on the piece of driftwood in front of him. Instead, he found a small cylinder cut from a cedar tree, the scent refreshing and clean.
He’d been waiting to find a way to use the round piece of fresh wood, thinking he’d make a small tabletop or a stool for Becky. But an image popped into his head. He took twigs and wood cuttings and glued them together to form leaves. Next he found enough thin wood to carve the blossoms of a huge flower to place in the middle of the round piece of wood. Over the next hour or so, he spent time carefully painting the pieces he’d merged together until he had a bright pink flower with a yellow center. A rugged construction put together by a confused man, but it looked like a hibiscus, one that Eva could touch anytime she wanted.
Once the paint had dried.
Eva got Becky settled with a snack and a book while she roamed around and took in the charm of Tanner’s house. It was small, but cozy, sparse but clean, and it had a lovely fenced backyard with beautiful palm trees and blooming bushes. A feeder and birdbath provided entertainment as colorful birds pecked away and then took a dip in the round stone pot filled with fresh water.
Becky had given her a tour of her small bedroom tucked in a corner with a lot of windows. The room held a girly flair, so she figured Tanner’s female cousins had worked on that. It was clean and neat, but full of faceless dolls, books and a few wooden toys she imagined Tanner had carved.
Becky had held up a battered pink furry flamingo. “Flammy is my favorite. She sleeps with me every night. I got her at my daed’s shop.”
Flammy could have used a good brushing and washing, something Eva planned to bring up at a later time.
After she’d tidied up the living area, Eva checked the clock. It was getting late, so she opened the small refrigerator and found some vegetables and a bag of frozen chicken tenders. Soon, she had a casserole together and in the oven, and sliced bread buttered and ready. She made fresh sweet tea and waited.
Thankfully, she’d told Ramona she might be sitting with Becky until Tanner got home. Ramona had managed to calm Mamm down on the phone. And she’d called the shop to give Eva a quick report. “I held her off for two more weeks, but she wants you home way before full summer, Eva.”
Eva hadn’t told Tanner that yet. But she expected to stay up until the last moment. Full summer would mean crops to tend to and canning to start. She had to be home by then, whether she kept working for Tanner or not. She didn’t want to go against her mother’s wishes, but she didn’t want to leave Becky. Eva had decided she’d be honest with her mother and tell her she liked her job, she planned to stay here a while longer.
She wasn’t ready to admit she didn’t want to leave Tanner either. She had to get such thoughts out of her mind.
As if he’d heard her thoughts, the man himself showed up and walked in and glanced around the wide kitchen and living area of his home. His perpetual frown changed to a look of disbelief. “Did you clean?”
“I dusted and swept the floors,” she said, wondering if that would make him angry. “I only tidied your room a bit, nothing more.”
Tanner gave her a quizzical glance. “I didn’t hire you to do all of this, Eva.”
“I don’t mind. I had to do something besides sit here.”
He looked guilty after that remark. “I’m sorry I was so late getting home.”
“No bother.” Would he tell her to leave now? “I like to stay busy, is all. And why not clean and cook a gut meal?”
Instead, he said, “That explains the lemony scent. Nice.”
Shocked, Eva only nodded. The man was always surprising.
“She is gut at keeping house,” Becky said from the couch. “And she made supper, Daed.”
“Oh, so that would be the other wunderbar smell, I suppose,” Tanner said. “I am famished.”
“Then you should wash up and eat,” Eva said. “I’ve set the table and the casserole is cooling on the stove. You have fresh iced tea, too.” Gathering her tote bag, she said, “I’ll just go and leave you to your supper.”
“Aren’t you staying?” Becky’s question held a squeak of hope and a sweet plea that hung over the room.
“Ja, aren’t you staying?” Tanner’s question held a trace of fear and a longing that filled the silence between them.
Eva glanced around, trying to find a reason to escape. “I didn’t want to intrude.”
“You won’t be intruding,” he said. “I... I was rude the other day, so please, stay and eat with us.”
Eva gave him a long stare and then lifted her chin. “One day, you will need to explain to me exactly how you feel about this arrangement, Tanner. I’m never sure from day to day.”
“One day,” he replied low so his daughter wouldn’t hear, “I’ll tell you that. Whenever I figure it out myself.”
Eva shook her head. “We are a confused pair—that is for certain sure.”
“Ja, I agree. But let’s eat and worry about that later.”
Eva nibbled her food and listened to Tanner and Becky talking. Tanner seemed intent on asking his daughter pointed questions so he could avoid actually speaking to Eva.
“I saw a butterfly today,” Becky said, spreading her hands. “He was huge.”
“That big, ja?” Tanner asked, grinning.
He’d washed up and now his hair was still damp, but his eyes were bright with love for Becky. Eva wished he’d send her a kind glance now and then. She’d angered him in so many ways and he surely had not gotten over that yet. But he’d felt obligated to have her stay for dinner. Why? So he could torment her by being kind? Even after she’d chastised him. Even after he’d reminded her she was not a parent.
“Why aren’t you eating?” Becky asked Eva. “Your casserole tastes great.”
“I suppose I’m tired,” Eva said, looking at her plate. “It’s been a long day.”
Tanner’s smile fled and left a frown in its place. “Why didn’t you say so?” He glanced out the window. “It’s almost dark.”
“I know,” Eva said, standing with her plate. The sky had turned a rosy pink all mixed in with golden and blue hues. Another perfect sunset. “Ramona will be worried. I should go.”
“We’ll walk you home,” Tanner said, standing to bring the dishes to the sink. “I’ll clean up after we get you home.”
“I can walk alone,” Eva said. “It’s not that far.”
“But this is the city, Eva.” Without saying another word, he looked outside and then back at her. “Becky, put your sneakers on. We’re going for a walk.”
Eva didn’t argue with him in front of Becky, but once they were on their way up the street she waited until Becky ran ahead and then turned to Tanner. “Are you still angry after I got into your business the other day?”
He let out a sigh and then stared into her eyes. “I’ll probably always be angry. But I shouldn’t take it out on you.”
“I was wrong to push you. It’s none of my business and we’ve been at odds since the day we met. I still can’t understand why you hired me.”
“I hired you because I see the goodness in you, Eva. Becky sees that, too. And while I love my aunt and uncle and my cousins, I know they have busy lives, too. You came at the right time. Martha works in the shop and does what she can, and my other cousins work part-time at the market. So it’s always a challenge to see who’ll watch out for Becky. My aunt and uncle do what they can, but they are getting on in age. We’d already been discussing getting help when you showed up.”
Eva was in awe of this man talking for so long and explaining things to her. “So, if you think I’m the person to help, why do we always seem to disagree?”
“I’m not at odds with you,” he said, his voice low while Becky sang softly as she marched ahead. “I’m confused.”
Eva knew it had taken a lot for him to admit that. “I’m confused, too.”
Tanner looked ahead at Becky. “You and I are what one of my customers calls introverts. We like our quiet time and we’re not big on frolics or get-togethers.”
“I can agree with that.” She kept an eye on Becky, too. “But I was never offered a lot of frolic time or get-togethers. Now I’m beginning to enjoy those things. And I like meeting the people who shop at your store. Well, most of them.”
He laughed. “You probably know how to handle them better than I do. I like my workshop time.”
“That’s okay by me,” she said. “I was only concerned for Becky’s sake.” Then she found more courage. “So, are you saying we don’t get along because we’re so alike? Or that you’d rather not be bothered while you’re working? Or is it just me, Tanner? You don’t want to be bothered by me?”
They’d reached the corner near Ramona’s house. He turned to face her, the scent of roses nearby. “One day, Eva, I’ll take you to the beach and explain everything. But for now, can you trust me? I’ll try to do better by Becky if you’ll try to understand that I like you, I want you to continue working while you are here. Having you for a few more weeks will give me time to find a permanent sitter for Becky.” He stopped, took a long breath and said, “Remember, I have a lot on my heart.”
“I will try to keep that in mind,” she replied. “But Tanner, I won’t be able to stay here much longer. My mamm is already wanting me to come home.”
“So I need to be looking soon for someone to replace you.”
She had thought he’d miss her, not just her help. “I suppose you should.” She’d hoped he’d ask her to stay, even if they could never be together. Eva loved it here. She had work she enjoyed and taking care of Becky was a blessing. “I can stretch this out until May. I’d need to leave the last week of April.”
Tanner had to think ahead and decide what was best for Becky. He’d forget all about Eva once he found another person to take over. He nodded, but didn’t speak.
Becky turned to them. “We’re here. Can we visit with Ramona?”
“Neh,” Tanner said, back to his gruff self again. “It’s way past your bedtime. Let’s thank Eva and let her get inside.”
“Denke,” Becky said, hugging Eva.
“I enjoyed myself,” Eva told her, her gaze moving over Tanner’s stony face.
One step forward and two steps back.
“I will see you both tomorrow afternoon,” she said, waving as she hurried up the steps.
When she turned at the door, she watched as Tanner and Becky walked hand in hand back home. How she longed to run after them and take Becky’s other hand. Her heart ached with that need, that longing.
I have a lot of love to give.
But would anyone ever want to love her?
Did Tanner have any real feelings for her? Or as he’d said, she’d been in the right place at the right time, and he’d been desperate enough to hire her?
Eva knew Gott’s will would provide, but she planned to put a lot of love into the time she had left here in Pinecraft with Tanner and Becky. A lot of the love she had in her heart, so she’d have the best memories when she had to leave.