Saturday turned out to be a beautiful day. The temperature was in the seventies, a surprise Eva liked this early in the year. Back home, it was still winter. Here it seemed summer stayed all the time. Would she one day get tired of that if she lived here year-round? Right now, she didn’t think so.
After she’d told Ramona that Tanner and Becky would meet them at the bus stop, her aenti clapped with delight. “Tanner is for certain sure changing his tune of not going to the beach.”
“Doesn’t he like it?” Eva had asked. Who wouldn’t like a day near the amazing ocean?
“I think he has bad memories of the beach,” Ramona had replied. “But that’s his story to tell, not mine.”
Eva itched to hear the whole story about his marriage to Deborah, but she would not be nosy. Tanner would tell her if he wanted her to know. Today she planned to relax and enjoy being near the sea. She’d survived working and now she could go back next week knowing she would be more involved with Becky and with the shop. Tanner had weekend workers in today and the shop was closed on Sundays.
Eva would be so happy to help with Becky. She’d always loved children, but Mamm would tell her she might not be able to have any of her own, what with her being as weak as a kitten at times. That stung even now, but Eva would do her best to help this one child who’d lost her mother.
As she and Ramona bustled around, packing lunch and remembering sunscreen and towels, Eva hummed a little tune.
“Remember you are to call your mamm before we leave for the beach,” Ramona reminded her. Eva had received a letter from Mamm yesterday, stating she’d be waiting at the phone booth at nine in the morning.
“I won’t forget,” Eva replied. Mamm would not be happy if she missed the phone call. Checking the clock, she hurried to the front room where Ramona kept what she called a landline phone for business.
Eva tried to practice what she’d say to her overly protective mother. Lord, let me say the right things. I don’t want to upset Mamm, and I love her dearly. But I don’t want to be rushed home just yet. Your will, Lord.
After her silent prayer, she dialed the phone booth number.
And waited. The phone rang and rang. Had she gotten the time confused?
Nine in the morning—Eastern Time. That’s what the letter had stated.
She hung up and then tried again.
“Eva?”
Relief washed over Eva. “Mamm, is that you?”
“Well, who else were you expecting?”
“I’m sorry. I tried once and you didn’t answer.”
“I only just got here. A goat was in my bean patch, and I had to shoo him away. That infernal neighbor Moses Kemp doesn’t watch over his animals.”
Eva smiled. This was an ongoing feud. “Moses hasn’t fixed his fences yet?”
“Neh, and the more I complain, the more he refuses. I think I need to have one of the bishops go and talk to the man. He is stubborn.”
“And you’re not?”
“Child, are you being rude to your mamm? Has my scatterbrained sister been teaching you to talk to me like that?”
“Neh,” Eva quickly said. “I was only teasing. I know how Moses can be.” She’d always thought Moses had a crush on her mamm, but maybe that was just Eva’s imagination running wild again. The man was tall and willowy but had the strength of an ox. While Mamm was petite and stout and had the stubbornness of a mule. They clashed. A lot.
“Enough about Moses,” Mamm said, her tone stern. “Tell me how your visit is going? Are you well? You sound tired. Are you ready to give up this nonsense and come home where you belong?”
Eva held her sigh. “I’m having fun. I’ve been busy. We are going to the beach today—”
“Neh, you will not. You are not a gut swimmer.”
“If you’d allowed me to be taught—”
“I didn’t want you wading in that dangerous creek, Eva. You know how I feel about that. And you will not go to the beach and the ocean. Do I need to speak to my sister?”
“Mamm, you told me to enjoy myself. I’ve had one quick glance at the ocean and today, Aenti Ramona and some friends will be with me. I don’t intend to get in the water. I just want to have a picnic on the shore.”
“A picnic on the shore. Aren’t you the high and mighty one now!”
Eva didn’t want to have another panic attack before they left. She would not let her well-meaning mother ruin this day. “I will be fine. Mamm, I’m twenty-two. You told me I needed to get out more, but yet when I try you want to hold me back.”
“I have not held you back from taking this far-fetched trip to Florida. I hear things, you know. That community is not what we need, Eva. You should kumm home sooner than later.”
Eva swallowed and closed her eyes, asking for patience. “I will be fine. I’ll write you a letter tonight and tell you all about it.”
When she saw Ramona motioning to her, she said, “I need to go, Mamm. I love you and please don’t worry about me.”
“Eva?”
“I love you. Aenti says hello.”
“Send me a letter.” Mamm hung up before Eva had to. So like her mother to get in the last word.
Ramona shook her head. “She wants you home, ain’t so?”
“Very much so,” Eva admitted. “And she demanded me to stay away from the beach. I know as a child, I was taught to obey her, but is it wrong to tell her no now that I’m an adult?”
Ramona came to Eva and took her hands in hers. “You are an adult, but your mamm doesn’t want to let go, Eva. She went through the horrible trauma of losing your daed, and she has watched over you in fear that she’ll lose you. This is a big step for both of you. You are allowed to be you, made as Gott made you. As long as you are not disrespectful and acting out, you are fine. And you are here with me. Does she think I’d lead you astray?”
“I think maybe,” Eva admitted. “But you are a gut influence on me. I’ve found work that I like and people I like being with. Is that so wrong?”
“Neh, liebling, that is not wrong at all.” Ramona let go of her hands. “Now let’s get our baskets and towels. We’ll wait on the porch for Tanner and Becky to give us a ride to the bus station.”
“And I invited Teresa,” Eva said. “I forgot to tell Mamm I have a new friend.”
“I’m guessing you forgot to tell her all about your job and Tanner and Becky, too,” Aenti said with a smile.
“I ran out of time,” Eva replied with her own smile. She didn’t like keeping things from her mother, but how else was she supposed to become independent and healthy.
She stopped after they were on the porch. “Aenti, do you think Mamm’s over-caring ways have made me worse or better?”
“You seem better here, Eva. You’ve only had a few sniffles and you continue to be happy. I can’t speak for your mamm, but smothering is just as bad on someone’s health as ignoring their needs completely, you understand. Either way, you don’t win.”
“I’m not trying to win,” Eva replied. “I only want to be myself, well and healthy and enjoying the life Gott gave me. I will need to pray on this. A lot.”
“That is the best way to solve our problems,” Ramona said. “Let Gott’s will be done.”
“Ja,” Eva replied. “I only hope He shows me the right path.”
“He always does, dear,” Ramona replied as she waved to the approaching cart. “He always does.”
Tanner took in the air and the water, his face turned to the sun. He hadn’t been to Siesta Key in years. Too long. They’d enjoyed their sandwiches and chips, and he’d walked with Becky along the shore searching for shells while Eva and Teresa trailed behind, laughing. Ramona sat by the picnic table they’d claimed once they’d gotten off the bus.
But now that he was sitting on a towel alone, watching his daughter frolicking with Eva and Teresa, memories crashed all around him, tugging at him in the same way as a rogue wave could take him under.
He couldn’t avoid his memories forever. He had Becky to consider. Spending more time with her had to be a priority and he’d tried. But he had work to do and a business to run.
Maybe Eva could help with both Becky and the business now that he’d gone and given her extra duties. To help her and Becky? Or so he’d have her around more?
Neh. That was ridiculous.
But as he watched her now, chasing Becky along the shore, her light blue skirt flying out around her legs, he had to smile. Becky had taken to Eva in a strong way. Maybe he had, too. She got him all flustered; he knew that. And when he was flustered, he tended to be brusque and rude.
I’m working on that, too, Lord.
He didn’t want to think of Deborah, but she would always be in his heart. He’d loved her and she’d tried to love him. But she mourned for another man, a man lost to her forever. And before Becky had been born, Deborah had often left Tanner to take the bus to the beach. She’d walk the shores alone, her mind far, far away. Somehow, in her grief she’d lost her mind, too. Depression, the doctors told him. She’d get over it once the baby came. And if not, they could help her. Only she never got that chance. Sometimes, he thought his beautiful wife had hung on as long as she could—just until the baby had been born.
Laughter brought Tanner out of his dark memories. He had to be careful. He could never love like that again and he had to focus all his love on his daughter. His daughter.
Teresa rushed by with a beach ball. “I can’t keep up with little Becky.” She laughed and then tossed the ball back toward Becky.
Becky giggled as she chased the ball. But the wind picked up the light-weight plastic and sent it into the water.
Becky headed after it.
Eva called out and started running.
Tanner jumped up from his towel and hurried toward the water.
“Becky?”
A wave hit his daughter right in the face, taking her under.
Eva ran in after Becky, her hands grabbing for the girl’s wet clothing. She pulled Becky up, both of them sputtering and coughing.
Teresa and Ramona both stood at the edge of the water, watching, their hands gripping each other.
Tanner grabbed Becky into his arms and then reached out for Eva. She tried to grab his hand, but another wave crested and hit her, causing her to lose her balance. She went down.
“Eva?” Ramona called. “Eva?”
Tanner handed Becky off to Teresa after he made sure she was safe and hurried back into the water to grab Eva up with both hands. Then he lifted her into his arms and carried her to the blankets they’d spread for their picnic.
“Eva? Are you all right?” Ramona called out, wringing her hands.
Eva coughed and sputtered but nodded her head.
Tanner checked on Becky and then stared down at Eva as he settled her onto the towel. “Are you sure?”
Eva’s eyes, so wide and so like the ocean, held him there, her fear as strong as the tide, but her heart as open as the vast sea. Tanner stared back, his mind telling him to stop, his heart begging him to hold on. Until he let go and fell back to put his hands over his knees. His heart pumped out of exertion and fear, but also with a great need to hold Eva in his arms.
“Daed, I got wet,” Becky said, running toward him. Then she pointed. “My ball is gone away.”
Tanner glanced out at the water and watched the red-and-yellow-striped ball floating along the waves, too far out now to retrieve. It might wash up on the beach again, but it wouldn’t be here in this spot. And no matter, he wouldn’t be around to see it. Coming here had been a huge mistake. He could have lost Becky. And Eva.
“We need to get everyone home and dry,” he said, standing too quickly. “Let’s pack up.”
“We didn’t eat our cookies yet,” Becky said, a pout on her lips. “I want my beach ball.”
“We have plenty of beach toys at the shop,” Tanner said.
“We can have cookies later,” Ramona replied, concern wrinkling her face. “We don’t want to get a bad sunburn.”
Becky’s disappointment mirrored Eva’s. “I’m sorry,” she said, coughing. “I should have been watching Becky more carefully.”
Teresa handed her a clean towel and some water.
“Neh, I should be the one watching her,” he retorted as he tossed things in one of the baskets. “I’ve been far too distracted lately.”
Then he stalked off toward the bus stop. “If we hurry, we can grab the next bus back to Pinecraft.”
He didn’t miss the way Eva stared after him, her pout almost as pronounced as Becky’s.
But he had to stop his feelings for her, somehow.
And how in the world could he do that now, after he’d practically begged her to spend more time in his world?